Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Can I have a wedding on New Year's Eve?


Hi!

I thought I'd write in the early planning stages rather than later when things are a mess & I'm freaking out....if this is a terrible idea you'll save me a world of grief.

So, yes or no to New Year's Eve wedding?

love,
the planner

*****

unless you are planning to elope, the answer is NO

plane tix over the holidays are uber expensive, and everyone has family plans (or will have just escaped their families). you could not pick a worse time to ask anyone to fly anywhere.

Photo of Jayne Mansfield via vintage gal

48 comments:

  1. Disagree! I went to a friend's wedding on NYE and it was AWESOME. A party with all my best buds instead of a crowded bar with strangers (or home in my jammies)? Yes please.

    Works particularly well if you have a mostly local crowd -- or if people will be back in the area anyway for family holiday stuff. That said, I was happy to fly from DC to LA for it.

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  2. Agree that is works if you have a local crowd or don’t care about lots of people declining. And just make sure it’s an AWESOME party. My sister went to a NYE party where her bf wasn’t invited and it was a cash bar, even for soda (call me snobby, but I hate cash bars. And on NYE it’s even worse).

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  3. I had to go to a wedding two years ago on NYE. My boyfriend STILL reminds me of it and is STILL bitter about it.

    Here's the problem: most of the people you invite (family friends, etc.) can just decline. No problem, no guilt. But unless you don't get along with your family (or they're all assholes), they can't decline. They're family. Wouldn't you feel obligated to go to a family wedding, even if it was on a holiday? Don't do that to them. Stick with a different non-holiday weekend.

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  4. **oops, sis went to a NYE wedding, not party...

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  5. I think it's greedy to hijack the best holiday of the year. You look like an attention whore, as if having a normal wedding day wasn't enough, you need to have a whole holiday too. Also, the only wedding I know of that was scheduled for NYE, the creepo groom walked out on her two weeks before. Not that it's related, just personally, bad memories.

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  6. Gonna have to disagree, especially if you're going to do a hometown wedding where everyone's going home anyway. Besides, there's something so romantic about literally stepping into the future year together as husband and wife.

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  7. I've never been to one, so I can't speak from experience, but I think I'd feel a little miffed about a NYE wedding, unless it was my major bestie and it was going to be the best party ever.

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  8. Horrible and selfish idea. It's an awesome holiday, don't hijack it with your wedding.

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  9. Agree with Amanda K. The one benefit is that you can book plane tickets and hotels in advance to save a bit of money, even though the cost is bloated during that time. IDK, it's always a pain in the ass to make plans for NYE, it's really an overrated holiday. At least this way it's for an actual purpose.

    PS This is my idea as well. Trying to convince people this is the way to go. I honestly can't think of a better way to end the year, and to start the next /cheesy sentimentalist.

    -Miss G

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  10. NYE is so not the best holiday of the year.

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  11. DO IT!!

    Personally, I loooove weddings and love NYE so why not combine for an awesome party?

    But obv, this means you should plan on incorporating NYE into the plan and don't book a venue that insists you're out at 10 (Los Angeles is FULL of those). Also, make it cocktail or black tie.

    Also, please don't make NYE your "theme"! So over the themes. Just make sure there is an awesome countdown and plenty of adult beverages.

    I agree that this is only ideal if your crowd is local.

    Have fun!

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  12. The best NYE I have ever had was in Mexico for a wedding on New Year's Day. It was essentially an elopement with friend's and family.
    I think it would be odd (maybe rude) if everyone didn't have to travel (including you) and if it wasn't in a place everyone wants to go.

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  13. I hate New Years Eve, it's overpriced and overinflated and you have to HAVE THE MOST FUN EVER. I hate the pressure, so an NYE wedding seems alright to me, in theory. However, we were invited to an NYE wedding a few years ago and were incredulous when we got the invite and ended up not going. If that tells you anything at all.

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  14. Everyone has pretty much laid out the pros and cons of this idea for you. Cons: More expensive for people who live out-of-state to travel. Pros: Everyone will already be in the mood to party and you're taking the pressure out of planning for them. You know your guests. Are they the type of people who will care more about the cost or the experience? Personally, I think it would be crazy fun as long as you throw the ultimate party. (And DEFINITELY no cash bar...ever.)

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  15. If it's good enough for Chris Guthrie, it's good enough for me.

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  16. Here's the thing - even people who are local and happy to party with you for your wedding may wish they could be with someone NOT invited to your wedding on NYE. If you have a very very close knit group of best friends maybe this could work... But otherwise, you have all your favorite people around you, but some of your guests may be without their favorite people. Does that make sense?

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  17. Disagree. The worse time to ask someone to attend a wedding is two days before Christmas (essentially Christmas Eve Eve) which happened to me this year and I still went (in a dress in 32 degree weather nevertheless).

    If people want to go to your wedding they will go. If they don't want to they'll use the date you picked as an excuse.

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  18. I think both sides have been pretty well laid out but I'll throw in one more scenario where it would be extra cool: if you really want to have a fun cake and punch dance party. If you're trying to do things on the cheap anyway, the likelihood is you'll be including fewer out of towners and the locals will be happy to have a great party with free flowing champagne and yummy cake. I think it's something that the more I like/know the person, the more excited I'd be about it. I wouldn't (for example) want to go to my husband's boss' wedding on NYE, but my college roommate? Count me in.

    Also: you must be prepared to share your wedding day and anniversary with a holiday not at all about our every single year. Plus, getting dinner reservations for your anniversary will be a bitch. Though you do have a sweet excuse for an annual party.

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  19. Definitely not ok. You're not just asking for invitees to travel, you're asking anyone closely involved in the wedding (fam, bridal party, whatev) to dedicate time to final prep, rehearsal & dinner, general chaos of finishing up bits & ends during an already busy time of year.

    Plus, yes, your 5 bestest may want to party it up with you on NYE, but - speaking for general weddings - there will probably also be a host of semi-close people, parents friends, and/or co-worker type people who have their OWN best friends & family they want to spend the time with. I'd plan to not get upset by a large number of people declining to attend.

    I think it can only work if its your closest 20 people in the world, otherwise you risk your wedding feeling like a burden.

    Just saying - my sister-in-law was just in the bridal party for a wedding this NYE and it was unquivocally declared "selfish" of the person to plan it then.

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  20. bah. shit typing on my post. sry

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  21. You know, it's difficult (and expensive!) to get a babysitter for NYE. Friends/family with kids might be annoyed or unable to come. And in the future, it'll make anniversary plans tricky if you choose to have children.

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  22. I also disagree, the worst day to have your wedding is Dec 26 (yes this happens).

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  23. I was a bridemaid at a NYE wedding. It was AWESOME. Do it!

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  24. Holiday hi-jacking .... annoying.

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  25. I don't know about you, but I like to EAT over the holidays. Bummer to give up all those tasty treats to fit into a wedding dress (or bridesmaid dress or whatever).

    Or maybe it's effective motivation to resist?

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  26. My wedding is in May and now I want to move it to NYE! Sounds like a blast! Those who feel inconvenienced by your wedding are people you do not want there anyway.

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  27. As someone who flys to A LOT of weddings in the region of the country where I group up, I appreciate when they fall near other holidays--saves me a flight home.

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  28. *where I GREW up

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  29. Would love to go to a wedding on NYE! No PTO required and a fun, joyous party celebrating two people you love? Awesome!

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  30. will people who really love you come to your new year's eve wedding even though travel is extra-expensive then / the holidays are exhausting, and they will likely be cross-eyed with fatigue by then / you're hijacking a day when people have their own reasons to party? yes.

    does that mean you should let them off the hook and plan it for a more reasonable day because you really love them? YES.

    also, what's with the assumption that one's nearest and dearest are locals? my sibs and parents alone are scattered in los angeles, san francisco, phoenix, and new york city.

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  31. Trust, you cannot please everyone.

    Someone will always find a reason why your wedding is inconvenient. If it's not the date it'll be the location. If it's not the location, it'll be the menu. If it's not the menu, it'll be the registry (or lack thereof)...You get the point. Have the kind of party you can afford and that feels right. People will make it work or they simply won't come. We are all adults.

    As long as you and your beau like a NYE party than go for it! Your parents and besties will FIND A WAY to make it--they love you and they love free booze and a dance party.

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  32. Hey we got married on NYE and it rocked! It was a destination wedding too. If you want a live band, that will be extra, certain venues won't be available, catering could cost more, but there are ways to get around all of that. We made it happen for around 10k and 90 guests.

    Anniversaries are easy because there's tons to do (we just had our first), both of us have major holidays off so we don't have to work, and there's always fireworks! Plane tickets were relatively cheap because they were between holidays. Anyway, I would recommend it!

    Here's our mini wedding video if you're curious: http://vimeo.com/34170662

    And good luck! I hated wedding planning, but that's just me. This blog kept me SANE.

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  33. I'm a law student and one of the things I remembered from my tax class is not to have a New Year's Eve wedding. Your marital status on Dec. 31st determines your taxable status for the entire year - so if you and future hubby make about the same amount of money you could be smacked with the "marriage penalty"(paying more tax when filing jointly than if you were both single) for the whole year for a few hours of being married! If however one of you makes a lot of money and the other makes very little you'll get the "marriage bonus" (have to pay less tax married than if you were both single).

    I know that is completely unromantic but that's what lawyers are, lol.

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  34. MadScientist: OR you could get married at midnight ;)

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  35. Uhmm SERIOUSLY DISAGREE ESB! I just got done with one kick ass wedding where most people did fly in and everyone had a great time! The girl wasn't my best friend but honestly I was glad to not have to worry about what we would be doing/park/pay huge cover/etc...we got a room for much cheaper then they normally would thanks to the wedding block, got wasted on their tab and have some great photos thanks to their photo booth! As long as the emphasis is on the "party" you should be golden.

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  36. i hate nye. i think it's the dumbest holiday of the year, but a wedding on nye would make it even dumber. you have to think of your guests. my husband and i have family on opposite coasts, which means we do a ridiculous amount of traveling during the last two months of the year. unless a friend's nye eve wedding just happens to be in my living room, i truly have no interest in going.

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  37. My hubs got invited to a friend's NYE out of town wedding. My friends have an annual blowout NYE party (8 years running!) and I missed it to go to this wedding. We spent a bazillion dollars to get there/stay there, and had to fly back early the next morning to get home for family festivities. It was a cash bar, and we didn't know and had no cash. The food was light appetizers and we weren't warned about it so we were starving. Aside from the bridal party we were the only non-family members who showed. The only music came from two tiny ipod speakers that you couldn't really hear, so no one was dancing. We were miserable.

    Moral - if you are gonna do it, do it right. Make it just as festive and drunken as any NYE party would have been and people will feel less put out and like they "missed" the holiday.

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  38. I have to add my voice to the disagree chorus. A friend of mine had an awesome afternoon wedding on NYE. The reception was over by 5 I think. I went home, had a nap and then went to another friend's party. The bride and groom were given a hotel suite as a wedding present and threw a party of their own as well. Personally, I'm always relieved to have something to do on NYE.

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  39. I just went to a NYE wedding and it rocked! It was mostly just a fabulous party, with some vows thrown in, and it was a mostly local crowd. Would I fly across the country to go to a NYE wedding though? Doubtful.

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  40. It depends on your guests... it you're all really close and everyone is happy to have it on that date, do it (might be worth gauging reactions now to see how people feel about it).
    But, if you're inviting lots of people that have friends and loved ones elsewhere that they would rather be spending the night with.. not good. Just consider you might need to allow lots of +1's if you go this route, most people like to have a date on NYE.

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  41. Just got married on new year's eve. It was awesome and everyone loved it. We picked 3 dates throughout the year and then asked our family and friends which they preferred. NYE won hands down. That being said only 35 of 150 people we invited came to the wedding, but we wanted a small wedding and we knew in advance that lots of out of state people would not make it. It was also in Alaska...

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  42. Wow. I'm surprised at all the dissenters. I thought everyone knew that holiday weddings suck for guests.

    Do NOT do a New Year's Eve wedding!!!

    Many people have NYE or other holiday plans that do not involve your wedding. They are often financially tapped out and don't want to spend money on another gift, another dress, another plain ticket, another hotel room, more time off work when they have just used up all their vacation days (lots of people don't get NYE off, for many it is only New Year's Day). There is a high probability that there will be bad weather somewhere in the country between where the wedding is and where various guests are, which means flights might be delayed and/or cancelled.

    Even if YOU had a great time at your NYE wedding, trust me, plenty of your guests were bitching to each other about it.

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  43. can I just point out the comment above, 35 out of 150 people came to their nye wedding?! hello, enough said.

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  44. but it was in Alaska!

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  45. Just got back from a wonderful NYE wedding in Las Vegas. If you have lots of extra cash to offer to pay for people's rooms (like this couple did), then yes. If not, you'll have a lot of people not coming because of the expense around the holidays. If so, though, I say go for it. I had a fantastic time celebrating. Definitely make sure it's a rocking party, though!

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  46. I was just at a NYE wedding this past week and have been a guest at another a few years ago and they were both AWESOME!

    This latest one a lot of guests (the whole groom's side) were from the States (the wedding was in Canada) and no one complained! Even the bride who thought people might hate the idea of it being NYE said everyone loved the idea.

    People are always looking for something fun to do that night anyways, why not make it a wedding + NYE party: serve a glass of sparkling wine at midnight and have a pile of noisemakers and a countdown to midnight. It's a great excuse to dress up.

    If you want to do it go for it. Same goes for Thanksgiving weddings.

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  47. It is a touchy date. Especially because airline prices are still so expensive and people probably escaped from whomever they were trapped with for a couple of days.

    But to be honest, I wouldn't totally rule it out. The bottom line is most people I know always run around like HEADLESS CHICKENS trying to find DECENT NYE shindigs. So, I think throwing a celebration on NYE is awesome. There will obviously be downfalls, like you will most likely have a smaller wedding (if you were planning on throwing a gigantic hurrah.) But you'll definitely have the people who love you the most there not only because they want to participate in a very significant time of your life, but also because they're ready to finally have everything planned for them to boogie down and ring in the New Year.

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  48. My husband and I were just married on NYE (catching up on blogs post-honeymoon... I'm a little late for this post)...

    Although I think hijacking people's summer holiday weekends (Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day) when they typically would have plans to go to lake/beach houses, etc., can be tricky, I think differently about holiday weekends like Columbus Day or NYE. We decided to do New Year's Eve after attending my college roommate's NYE wedding in 2010 (out of town, mind you) which turned out to be one of the best weddings of the 20+ we've been to in the past few years. Her planner told her to expect that only 60-70% of their invited guests would come, and she ended up with about 75% of the guests... not a single complaint was heard about flights, rooms, etc. because first off, it wasn't really more expensive than the cost of traveling to people's weddings on any other weekend, and, living on the east coast, most people would spend $300 on a crappy bar or restaurant deal for New Year's Eve.

    For our wedding, we had 85% of the nearly 400 people we invited show up... we grew up in different suburbs of the same major city but had tons of friends fly in from other cities. We had rooms blocked at several hotels for as cheap as $100 because we did so far in advance and considered people's budgets, and most of our in town guests chose to stay at hotels to party the night away. Our save-the-dates were mailed 9 months ahead of time and many of our friends booked cheap airfare because of that. Every other detail of transportation was accounted for so no one needed to rent a car/worry about that. We were sensitive to people w/ significant others but we pretty much would have had the exact same wedding on any other night of the year (black tie, amazing food, amazing booze [no cash bars, ever - I mean, invite fewer guests or shop around for good quality, less expensive booze which is NOT difficult to find], great band, basically the only things you need) with the following exceptions: we passed out chintzy NYE party hats, tiaras, noisemakers, etc. and champagne at 11:30pm and played Auld Lang Syne at midnight, our band played until 1am, we had an after party in a different room at the same venue that went until 3:30am (5 am for some partiers!). Maybe we got very lucky but our friends and family were psyched to have what is ordinarily a pain in the butt evening be a ridiculous party this year - and isn't that essentially what a wedding should be? Celebrating you and your love at a fabulous party with friends and family? We knew the people who really wanted to be there would show up - and we were pleasantly surprised that almost everyone did! The people that didn't had either longstanding travel commitments or other weddings... and we were understanding about it. If people were cranky about the evening falling on NYE they either didn't show or they changed their minds b/c not a single person was sitting down at tables when the clock struck 12.

    Go for it - any dissenters/naysayers will be mad they missed out when they see and hear about what an amazing NYE you had. And I'll be content celebrating anniversaries at home with a bottle of bubbly and my hubby for decades to come.

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