Thursday, February 27, 2014

overkill for a courthouse wedding?

Dear ESB,

Future husband and I are getting married at the courthouse in Montreal in April and then having a big party in a mountain chalet in August. 

What do you think of these dresses for a Saturday courthouse ceremony? Too much black? Overkill in some other way? Your opinion is much appreciated!

Uber thanks,
Questioning black on white


Hate the Michael Kors, love the DVF. (Not an overkill thing really, more of a taste thing.)

I'm 90% sure I need to leave my husband

Hey ESB,

I've seen you facilitate some killer support and advice for real life shit in the past, so here I am writing to you. I'm 90% sure I need to leave my husband, and I could really use a cheer squad/push.

I won't bore you with the details, but we do have a young child. My husband is my best friend, and I want him in our lives forever, but we don't feel like a couple anymore. We've had some horrible times, and have been in counselling for months, and have made good progress. But, I'm exhausted, and I feel like half a person around him, and I just want to get out. It's hard to, because lots if what we have together is great. There's a lot of love, and I know how much harder my life would be as a single mum, how long I might have to put my ambitions on hold. In light if this, it feels like I'm being selfish or immature to want to leave.

But, last night I found myself confessing to an almost perfect stranger that I wanted to leave my husband, and I don't think I deserve to be unhappy enough to do that. It wasn't a drunken confession either, by the way. Neither of us had a single drop.

Can somebody just tell me that I'll make the right choice and find the right words, and that it will all work out ok in the end? Please?

- Desperate Housewife


You deserve to feel like a whole person. And: Your kid needs a mom who feels like a whole person.

Tell your husband what you just told us.

Inversion Series by Anton Bundenko

Friday, February 21, 2014

it's been WAY TOO LONG since we had a shopping challenge

Dear ESB,

Firstly, your blog is my favorite thing! I read it daily and seeing other people's family wedding drama makes me feel less alone. Mine is doing a real number on me since my fiance and I got engaged. 

Estranged dad trying to get an invitation? Check. Bipolar twin sister getting married spontaneously to a busker days after my engagement? Check. Bipolar alcoholic mother telling me I'll look fat (I am a size four) on my wedding day and whatever else mean and passive aggressive things she can think of? Check!! 

Anyway, I have been trying to avoid my family entirely and have been moving forward with the wedding planning with my amazing, kind, and patient fiance and his family, who are over the moon excited for us and are being so kind and generous every step of the way. 

We set the date, the place, and now I need a dress! I found one that is perfect [pictured above]! Problem is that I can't find it anywhere! Seriously, I even called Valentino and asked them to search for it too! Which they did for two weeks (did you know that you can do this? Everyone there was so nice!) and the dress doesn't exist. 

Can you/your readers help me find something like it for under $2000? I am in love with this dress, in a way that I didn't think was possible. I am usually very apathetic towards clothing but... this dress!


Thank you!



(You've got your work cut out for you. That Valentino is gorg.)

Thursday, February 20, 2014

were you looking for gold sequin bridesmaids dresses?

This lil Wren kimono dress is $98 down from $493. And every size is available. WTF?

All their dresses are on so much sale I'm worried someone is playing a joke on us....

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


I’m doing an interview with this lil blog and Kelsey wants to know “Best question you have been asked on ESB?”


It would be easier if she had asked me “What’s the best answer you’ve given on ESB?” (I’m partial to this one and this one and this one. My friend J is a big fan of this one.)

Anyhoo.... A virtual slice of pie will be yours if you submit your faves below.

(Pie box DIY via Emma Stefan via A Subtle Revelry)

Monday, February 17, 2014

oh look, it's monday again.

I suddenly find that my feed reader is empty.

Is no one blogging anymore? Where are all the good blogs??


Stream the new Beck album over here. It is super soundtrack-y and terrific.

Who binge-watched House of Cards this weekend? I had to give up halfway in. I so wanted it to be good but RAYMOND TUSK RAYMOND TUSK RAYMOND TUSK. Who gives a shit. (And the fucking lighting was driving me bananas.)

I found your wedding wrap. It comes in four colors !

Monday, February 10, 2014

happy monday !

Not sure how to follow this.

classic case

         Exactly right.

legit the worst advice I've seen

completely flabbergasted

Um...                           waaaay thefuck off


little rat brain

rats and their damn documents.

creating a GOMI thread about ESB

mean and offensive

                            a place for saying mean BS

                                   Get over your mean, hipster self.


Ugh god

               you should just stop

Please show us more sticks to hang random shit off of in your house.

The title came off as offensive, and for that I genuinely apologize. "White girl problems" popped into my head and it seemed sort of funny. I hesitated, I considered "first world problems," I read this whole thread. I browsed over here. I realized it's a really old joke. Also: Not very funny. And then I used it anyway. (Surprise! It wasn't very funny.)

The post was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. As in: Your life sounds pretty good! My life is pretty good. Aren't we lucky to have these "problems"?

You guys should know by now that my advice will always be more of the GET THE FUCK OVER IT variety than the Dear Sugar variety. Doesn't mean I love you any less.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

white girl problems


My boyfriend hates the idea of marriage. But he really, really loves me. And I really, really love him. And I thought I didn't care about the whole marriage thing, but it turns out - oh hey, I really do want to marry him even though we already live together, have an adorable dog, and bought "commitment" rings. 

I would never ever break up with him over this, because he's awesome and we're awesome together.


Thanks, y'all are the best!


Here's a by-no-means-exhaustive list of remedies that were suggested to me when I first started suffering from migraines:

Talk therapy
Go on the pill
Go off the pill
Cut out dairy
Give up coffee
Quit your job

Perhaps one of the above would help you get over your dumb oh-hey-I-really-do-want-to-marry-him feeling.


(Abject model courtesy of La Garçonne)

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

we have a winner

This here tree branch (well, almost) is really what I had in mind for hanging the lights.

We have a very similar two-branched hook we got at OK -- it's currently holding coats by the door, imagine -- and I was bummed to learn that the store no longer carries em.

So H did a quickie search for "tree branch coat hooks" and landed on Live Wire Farm.


Note: Our winner is not the exact hook pictured above. All the ones I liked were sold, but I emailed Live Wire Farm, and John quickly got back to me with photos of several more hooks that weren't up on the site. I chose #1, which makes me think of a hard-on. Which makes me giggle. (Truth: if you stare at them too hard they all look like hard-ons.)

Anyhoo. Maybe once we've got our hard-on installed I'll attempt to take an actual picture inside our actual house.

The truth is I attempt to take actual pictures all the time, but rarely do they feel blog-worthy. Which is why I end up posting photos of other people's SMEGS.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

An update from the tiny house

1. We ditched our dying microwave and put a plant in its place on top of the refrigerator. I'm feeling VERY pleased with us.

2. We sold H's dying Jeep Cherokee, and now we're down to one car. Again. I have mixed feelings about this.  

On the one hand, Hooray! We'll lower our insurance rates. That car was a gas guzzler. And while we're both working from home, we really don't need two cars. Like, really don’t need two cars. 

On the other hand, the Jeep was really fun to drive. And H always seems to have a spontaneous 4 hour meeting with a client right when I want to go to yoga. 

WOW I SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE WHEN I ACTUALLY TYPE THAT OUT. (Mention yoga, you sound like an asshole. When will I learn??)

3. I bought a string of lights I want to hang inside the house, like so. But I’m not sure what to hang them from. A tree branch? An antler? A a big fat nail? I want it to look, you know, sexy but accidental. 

I welcome your suggestions.

(Eleonore Bridge's lovely Smeg via Design*Sponge. We don't have a lovely Smeg. We have a not-too-ugly grey LG.)