Review(ish): Spousonomics

Two months ago, I was in the middle of a ridiculous snit about dirty dishes when I landed on this essay in the New York Times.

Jenny Anderson wrote: "I used to take the fairness temperature of my relationship every day. Were we splitting the chores? Were our careers progressing equitably or was I being shortchanged because I relieved the nanny more? If I picked up his socks today, would he expect me to pick them up forever?"

WAS SHE INSIDE MY HEAD?

I immediately wrote to Random House and asked if they would send me a review copy of Spousonomics, the new book Anderson has written with Paula Szuchman.

It's a revelation.

Anderson and Szuchman frame ten different marital dilemmas in economic terms, demonstrating, for example, through the principle of Division of Labor, how it isn't economical for two people in a relationship to divide the household chores down the middle. Instead, if each person does the chores she is most efficient at, everybody benefits.

So. I have faced the fact that I'm a more efficient dish-doer than H.* And I've realized how much stuff he does around the house (gardening, plumbing, endless car + computer maintenance) that I never counted as "housework."

I've also learned (from the Incentives chapter) that if I trust H instead of nagging him, he will actually do the dishes or make dinner or go to the grocery store a lot more often. HALLELUJAH!

If you are engaged or married or IN A RELATIONSHIP, you need to read this book.**

My only complaint is that Anderson and Szuchman try a little too hard to be hip. Or flip? They repeat the phrase "Exhaustive, Groundbreaking, and Very Expensive Marriage Survey" no fewer than thirteen times in the book, which is exhausting.
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*Please don't tell him I said that.

**It's not all about dishes, I promise. There's plenty of sex in there too.

Review(ish): The Paper Bride

When I received my copy of The Paper Bride,* my first reaction was "Great. Another one." The image of the little porcelain cake topper in the upper right hand corner threw me off. I thought to myself, "Why does every wedding planning book have to have a bride and groom on the front? Or a fucking diamond engagement ring? At least it's not an engagement ring." Then I tucked it under a pile of papers and forgot about it.


This weekend, I unearthed the book (I have pledged to read the printed word, after all) and I was pleasantly surprised. When I looked closely, I realized the little porcelain bride on the front was carrying a bouquet of red and orange paper flowers and the groom had a big paper boutonniere pasted on his lapel. Esther K. Smith is making the point that you can personalize your wedding with paper, in both traditional and unexpected ways.

Smith offers several how-tos for making paper flowers (obv), along with many more rather advanced projects. Do I like the idea of a handmade Paper Pocket Planner? Or a Liquor Shower cocktail recipe book? Yes. Would I ever attempt to make these things? No. She lost me at awl. I do not own an awl, nor do I have any desire to go buy an awl.** I am, however, intrigued by the notion of a bone folder, which is recommended for the construction of the Garland Guest Book (pictured below).

The instructions for the garland went over my head the first two times I glanced at them, but when I took a third look something clicked. Now I'm antsy to give the project a try. Why don't I own a BONE FOLDER? (You can visit Smith's site to download pdf instructions for the Garland Guest Book. But do not attempt to crease your paper using a butter knife, a pencil, or a chopstick.)

I'm also intrigued by the templates provided at the back of the book, for, among other things, an art deco envelope, a curvy Parisian coaster, and a v. sweet little box (hello macarons!).

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, Jan 20, at 7:30 pm Esther K. Smith will be at WORD Bookstore in Greenpoint (126 Franklin St. Brooklyn, NY 11222) demonstrating some of the projects from THE PAPER BRIDE. Will someone please attend and report back to us? Maybe awls are more fun than they look.

*Sent to me for free by the lovely people at Random House, I AM REQUIRED TO TELL YOU. I believe I am also required to tell you that I was not paid to write this review.

**Fun fact: When he was three, Louis Braille accidentally gouged himself in the left eye with an awl. Both eyes became infected, and he was blind by the age of four.