Dear ESB: I have wedding band issues.

I am getting married in August and have yet to decide on bands. I have a fantastic antique engagement ring that is similar to the one in this photo. I really, really love it - the stone is an heirloom from my fiance's great aunt, and the setting is circa 1915. The "filigree" or whatever its called is a little more geometric than the ring pictured, but I am not tech-savvy enough to attach a photo of my own ring, so, you know, this will have to do. 

Anyway, the problem is that I don't know what kind of wedding band to get.  I have tried on curved bands but they don't work because a) i hate them, and b) they make the ring look lopsided and take away from the cool shape of it. So, I'm at a loss. I really want a band, but they all look so weird with the ring. Is it ok not to have one? Can i get something simple and wear the engagement ring on my right hand? help! 

I also would ideally like my band and my future husband's band to be somewhat similar. Any suggestions there?

Sincerely,
Bandless?

*****

It is okay not to have a wedding band. It's okay to do WHATEVER YOU WANT.

But I love your simple-band-on-the-left-hand, fantastic-antique-on-the-right idea.

Re simple, matching bands: Catbird, Bario-Neal, Bittersweets New York (pictured above), Sarah Perlis and OK all have simple, beautiful bands that you can order in varying widths and weights and colors and finishes.

I happen to like a wide wedding band on a guy, in the same color + finish as his wife's more narrow band. In case you were asking me to get that specific.

How much should we spend on wedding bands?

Dear ESB,

My beau and I are getting married in Sept and we've decided to bypass the whole big engagement ring bling. I'm not much of a jewelry girl anyway, and we've been living together for three years so our engagement was a series of honest, straight-up conversations about getting married, rather than a surprise, down-on-one-knee, huge rock hooplah. We also think that there is so much more we could drop a few grand on than a fancy ring (like more travelling!)

We would like to get wedding bands though, for the ceremony and also because it would be nice to have some sort of signifier of our marriage. As you probably guessed, we don't want to drop a ton of money, but would like something that will last, won't discolour or break, pass down to our kids etc. What type of metal should we be looking for? How do we know if its good quality? In what price range? A few hundred dollars each, or is that unreasonable?

*****

Gold is the stuff that heirlooms are made of.

Depending on the size and width of the ring, and the type of gold you choose, you can expect to pay anywhere from $198 (for Satomi Kawakita's thin band, which I love) to $1200 (for Sarah Perlis's 8mm wide square hammered band).

Silver is a lot cheaper, but it tarnishes easily and won't hold up to years of wear.

And let's not even discuss the ugly/uber hard metals like titanium and tungsten. (This comment thread haunts me.)

*Edit: Lauren just busted me. Though platinum is heavier than gold (and almost twice as expensive), apparently it is more "bendable."*

**Also, I feel like a jerk for not mentioning the vintage option. If you go with vintage bands, you could get away with spending less than a few hundred each. There are a kajillion bands for sale on etsy and ebay. Or, even better, start digging at local antique shops. (Thanks, Celia! And everyone. You guys are the coolest.)**

I (heart) cevd

I've been waiting all week for Christine to post photos of her wee shop/custom invitation studio. I don't want to brag or anything... Okay maybe I do want to brag a little: H and I got our asses out of the house and made it to the opening.

I won't lie to you, the paper goods are rad. We did a little early christmas shopping while we were there. And I don't even want to talk about the bacon chocolate bars. Proceed with caution. (Alternatively: Consume with bourbon. Die happy.)

But I digress. Cevd's hand-printed I ♥ LA bags are what really killed me. H bought me one and I haven't left the house without it since.

Would you believe this puppy holds $70 worth of groceries from Whole Foods? Plus the "(Los Alamos, California)" in fine print cracks me up. It's a funny little "You didn't really think I loved Los Angeles, did you?"

Bonus: Since we've been on the topic of engagement rings and nontraditional girls, I hounded cevd to send me a photo of her vintage green sapphire engagement ring.

mas found the ring through his dad's ex-girlfriend who has since started the online antique jewelry shop Topazery. (Cevd took this photo in her studio on one of the DIY seat cushions. Showoff.)

Cevd also has a little Sarah Perlis diamond. I. know. But whenever I see her she's rocking the sapphire.

Update: Christine says "perhaps you need to mention that when it comes to engagement rings people need to GET over the diamonds? ... like now please." And bags are now for sale on etsy.

The bride wore pink... by Sarah Perlis

Speaking of fabulous pink earrings, I found these tourmaline studs by Sarah Perlis at Steven Alan. And the long chain bezel earrings are on the Sarah Perlis site.

(Images courtesy of Steven Alan and Sarah Perlis)