Do we need a Wedding Photographer? (Sponsored by Calin + Bisous)

Several brides have emailed me in the past few months to ask "Do we need a Wedding Photographer?" "Can't we just ask our friends to send us their photos?" "We don't feel the need to capture thousands of perfectly styled images of our wedding…" etc.

Here's Callie from Calin + Bisous to answer that very question….

You do not *need* a wedding photographer. You want one! And it's okay! And here's why.

1. Your wedding is a big deal. Your wedding photos are a big deal, too. And we are professional photo takers. Unlike your arty photographer friend from college, who will wander off during the first dance to take pictures of the catering truck, or the fashionista friend with the really great 35mm camera who will run out of film in the middle of the ceremony.... we are on top of our game for 8 hours straight.

2. Our job is to make you look fantastical in your photos. We like to run around and fix your hair and adjust your bridesmaids' boobs (if necessary). And we always tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth. We learn where you need to be and when, and we calmly get you there because we care that you're not flipped out and crazy lookin. Like I said, we want you to look really good in the photos.

3. We are crowd pleasers. We are day-of planners that you didn't ask for. We are your very own fairy godmothers. We usher you and your new spouse away when that receiving line you didn't plan on starts forming. Our camera bags double as bouquet and clutch holders. Your step-uncle once removed, who took one photography class in college, 37 years ago, brought a flask of whiskey to your all-local-craft-beer wedding and he's chatty? I got this. Go be at your wedding.

4. I can't speak for other wedding photographers, but I care deeply that people are happy whenever they're around me. (Happy people make for better photos.) The more I am running around getting shots, helping out, keep the massive cluster-!@&$ of family photos moving along, the more delighted I am.

This last one's just from me.

5. Everyone should be able to afford the photography they want, wherever they are, without hidden fees or scary terms or such bare-bones "basic" packages that you have to include all the extras to make them work.

I offer an all-inclusive rate of $4,000 for 8 hours of wedding photography anywhere in the continental US.

And I'd really like to shoot your wedding!

xoxo,
Callie

(Photos by Calin + Bisous. Obviously.)

two things.

1. This dress is bonkers.

2. The bride and groom are gorgeous, &c. But.... I wish there were more photos of them WITH THEIR EYES OPEN. D'you think they are just shy, or can I blame the photographer? This feels like a disturbing new trend.

IT'S NOT A LOOKBOOK, PEOPLE. IT'S A WEDDING.

Dress by Miss Tashina, Photos by Jessica Lorren via Once Wed

nerd alert

Did you know you can do a REVERSE Google Image search?

Ever since I read this post, I've tried to be extra diligent about crediting every photo I publish on the blog. (A link back to Pinterest is not an acceptable photo credit, ladies.)

But. It's much easier to find great images on the internet than it is to figure out who shot them.

Say you come upon an photo on Pinterest and the photographer isn't credited....

And when you click through you just hit the home page of a blog or (worse) a Tumblr page where THE PHOTOGRAPHER ISN'T CREDITED.

Drag the image straight off Pinterest or Tumblr or wherever you found it and drop it into Google Images.

This takes a little jiggering, but once you get the hang of it, it's very satisfying. Check out the results:

Not only did I find the name of the photographer and the original source, I found a bunch more images from the same shoot.

Woohoo!

Note: The above instructions are for Mac users. On a PC, I suspect you would need to first download the image, then upload it to Google Images by clicking the tiny camera icon

and choosing the "Upload an image" feature.

Will someone test this out for me?

Photo at top: Imogen Morris Clarke by Max Doyle for Vogue Australia March 2012 via Ginny Branch Stelling via Luisa Norbis via Zimbio

Do I have to buy my photogs the fancy meal?

Lady girl,

You were so helpful with my last question I have a new one for you.

I'm getting married this winter - 30 people, evening ceremony, dinner at a lovely restaurant after. I've got two awesome photographers hired. The dinner at this restaurant with booze and gratuity is working out to be $200/person. 

Do I feed my photographers with us in the private dining room for an extra $400, or do I banish them to the bar to have a normal dinner at some point? Both options seem socially awkward. Plus, while we'd like photos of toasts and things, it isn't like two hours of us eating needs to be extensively documented for posterity.

Snarky etiquette advice appreciated.

*****

I emailed a couple of my fave wedding photographers. Here's their four cents...

from jamie of Rad + In Love:

There is nothing wrong with giving the photographers a separate meal as long as it is DECENT. (No brown bag lunches, people). Just let them know the plan ahead of time, talk to them about the sitch, find out if they have any dietary restrictions. Also talk to them about the dining schedule. We always inform our clients that we like to eat while everyone else is just sitting down to eat. Who wants 100 photos of their family shoving food into their mouths? (Don't get me started on the time that the caterer barked at us that "staff eats when everyone else is done eating." Great, like right when the first dance is scheduled? Perfect sense.)


from cara (aka Peonies) of Lillian & Leonard:

Shit no, you do not pay $400 to feed your photographers. You ask them to make sure that they're there for the toasts and you tell them to go to the bar while you and your partner are eating (you do not want photos of you eating) and to order whatever they would like to eat and drink. Don't tell them they can only have a starter and don't make them pay for their own drinks, those are both mean things to do to someone who has been working for you all day. 

Oh and let them know before the wedding that you've organised this so that they don't assume that their only option is to go and sit in their car to eat cereal bars and service station sandwiches.

Self-portrait of Peonies via her blog

Our Wedding was (almost) Picture Perfect, but the Photos were not

Dear East Side Bride-

I have a post-mortem wedding question. I know that it's fairly common for people who skimped on photography to be a little bit sad afterwards, but here's the deal. My fiance and I completely upped our photography budget, thinking, this is going to be our only take-away from the day. And while we have some very beautiful images, we don't have the pictures we really want from the day because our (very award-winning) photographer arrived 45 minutes late, all of our photos were rushed, and he spent time during dinner, etc. frantically taking (too few) pictures of details and pictures that were missed earlier in the evening. Our photographer somehow seemed to miss all of the details and a lot of 'moments,' and perhaps something was 'off' or 'wrong' that day, but we wouldn't know, because he never mentioned it.

Now, looking at our recently arrived proofs is very bittersweet. After the wedding I began to come to terms with the fact that we had missed a lot of opportunities for portraits (it's fine if I just had one with my bridesmaids, because, well, I was only going to frame one anyway- right? and it's kind of OK that we don't have a picture of my husband with his brothers and dad together). I told myself they'd be well-represented in the candids (but there were only about 120 candids from the 5 hours spent dining and dancing) and that seeing some great candids would more than make up for it. It only got worse when I realized that so many of the details i poured my heart into were not captured (everything from the details of the invite- which we gave him to photograph to the fact that or that our signature cocktails were orange and blue- a nod to the college town where we wed).

I know we have little recourse now, having already paid, and also having the quality of our photos, etc. held hostage at the whim of the photographer. I guess my question is two-fold, do you (and your highly esteemed professional photographer friends) think we have any recourse/options? And besides telling myself to stop wallowing, do you have any suggestions to make me feel better/what we can do now to try to capture some of our missed moments?

*****

Give it a year.

In a year, you will not give one shit about the wedding photos.

Polaroid by Lina Scheynius

MUST-TAKE WEDDING PHOTOS (a short list)

When I opened my email this morning, I found this missive from the princess_fairy.....

Dear ESB,

After reading so many MUST and MUST NOT TAKE photo lists [such as this one from RealfuckingSimple?], I have gained enough knowledge as to create my own list (yes...I am a really THAT SMART) and would like to share it with you (and your readers! I am addicted to ESB, not in a good way..is there a good way to be addicted? well, that's a different story all together-forget this)

And the winners are...

Take photos of the people, not posed, of people being themselves during the ceremony and the party time. You know this means your uncle will start breakdancing on the floor and your mom will cry so hard...(and there's always a boozy friend in the mix..) Just think of soup or paella! it always has a funny ingredient in the mix, but overall it's damn tasty!!!

Take photos of whichever moment you would like, but it would also be nice to choose some moments, intimate, not to be photographed. They will be stuck in the memories of people who created that instant and there will be no pictures to illustrate it, so it will only get better and better with time. This can be getting dressed or making a toast. Think about why we no longer want videos with the audio running every single moment...take it one step further and remove the images too. Life its made of memories, not photos. And we need them to get sweeter as time goes by, because life its bitter enough itself.

About object photos or landscape photos or posed photos (bridesmaids making human towers, bales of hay in front of your altar..) ...well, photos are there to illustrate what was going on and was important for you, so you have to make a choice. Think 24 hours and distribute, how many do you want to spend with people? how many do you want to spend posing for pictures? and how many you want your photographers to spend inmortalizing the details? (we will imagine you don't get to sleep on your wedding day so that you can get 8 extra hours..) For your own mental sanity and reality check think about 24 years of your life and distribute, how much time you want with friends? how much time you want with family? how much time you want with your new family (husband/wife, kids?) and how much you want DIYing and baking? There is plenty of time for everything, butyou need to CHOOSE, and try to choose as best as you can.

My list is short, I hope it's helpful.

Ooopss..just two short ones more:

DO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU WITH YOUR EYES OPEN...(I am not joking...have a look at super photo sessions on blogs...)

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN ALL PHOTOS (distribute, percentages, distribute...how much of you is you and how much of you is friends, family...you get the point)

When people are excited, overwhelemed with joy, they make funny faces, they have ticks, and thousand of wrinkles on their faces with super size grins. It's ok...this is life, welcome :)

whispers from fairyland

Photo: Kate Upton by Terry Richardson via Fashionising
______________________________

p.s. My apologies if your comment disappeared. I, um, deleted the post by accident this afternoon. They should take away my blogger's license.

Alt Photography Workshop + POOL PARTY (Sponsored by Feather Love)

Feather Love (aka Noa), one of my fave photographers and hands-down the biggest rabble-rouser ever to write a guest post for esb, is doing a workshop in San Diego on June 28-29.

I'll let her tell you more:

Technical photography workshops are awesome, necessary, and extremely productive – but this is not one of them. Here are six reasons why my workshops are different:

1) I’M NOT A ROCKSTAR

I am not a “rockstar photographer.” I’m just a person who is sometimes totally full of shit, but I also spend a lot of time working on myself as an artist and I really really care about my work. My focus is on the quality of work we put out there, and most importantly our personal relationship to that work & what it can teach us. I am honest and revealing and have no intention of pretending to be someone I am not. I am not going to tell you how to skip the hard part & become a successful photographer overnight – QUITE THE CONTRARY.

(Photo of Feather Love in her studio by her husband Stuart)

2) FOCUS ON THE ARTIST

One of the main subjects I cover in the workshops, is how critical I believe it is to connect with our work & put ourselves into our art. Often times, photographers will focus on finding more expensive equipment, or spending hours looking at the work of other photographers in their industry for inspiration. As artists, we need to put ourselves & our experience into the work we are producing in order to create something that stands out & resonates with us. A majority of people who attend my workshops are photographers, but because I focus on The Artist, I often have other creative business people in attendance too – like bloggers, calligraphers, magazine editors, writers etc.

(Some of Feather Love's images from past workshops)

3) BREAKING THE RULES

My work is certainly not for everyone. I focus more on what intuitively clicks inside me while I’m shooting than I do on perfection in composition, lighting etc. In fact, I often do what would be considered “technically wrong” in order to get the results I want. I have seen a million pretty photos, but it’s often the blurry, strangely-cropped, under/over-exposed images that stand out for me the most. Why? Because I can personally relate to them. Because they reveal something deeper, more beautiful, more honest, more human. Let’s just say that if I had to choose between Ansel Adams and Diane Arbus, I’m going with Arbus.

4) ROUNDING IT OUT

Besides my more philosophical lectures, I also cover real-world examples from my experience, discuss experimentation, how to get the clients you want, self-branding and many other practical subjects. I leave ample time for Q & A to structure each workshop around the attendees. I invite incredible guest lecturers to focus on subjects that are vital in running your own creative business. For example: Anne Sage on the important role of social media in self-branding (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Chloe Aftel giving a hands-on Polaroid class that will blow your mind (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Emma Case on not compromising (London Workshop) etc. These are artists & creative people whom I admire and respect and have learned so much from.

(Images from previous workshops: first and last image by Feather Love, all others by Woodnote Photography)

5) THE AFTER PARTY

Yes, we spend a few good hours discussing all sorts of deep, intense and important topics – I pose vital questions that we need to ask ourselves… blah blah, BUT I also believe in not taking stuff too seriously. If we’re going to work hard, we’re going to relax and/or play hard too. Some of my workshop after parties have included:

glamping sleepover in a giant beach house overlooking the ocean with musical guests Tim & Nicki Bluhm (video by Bay Area workshop attendee Sara Wilbur Photography)

dirty-hip-hop dance parties (London & Italy video by Son Of Shark Pig)

… and sometimes celebrity guests! The beautiful Sarah Carter will be our model for the San Diego workshop.

Wine & friends, plus clean & tasty gourmet food is of utmost importance! (Nicole of Gjleina is catering!) … And we will also be taking some hard-core pool breaks.

6) CONNECTION

I love how people keep in touch after my workshops – they become friends, ask for help reviewing an edit, travel across the country to hang out together, do awesome photo projects together, or even start a Facebook group specifically for all the people in the workshop they attended, including me. It’s RAD.

I am so extremely super-excited about my upcoming 2-day workshop on June 28th & 29th at my house and studio in San Diego! You can learn all about it HERE. Find out more about my workshops, content I discuss, videos & interviews with me, attendee testimonials and more HERE.

(At top: Photos by workshop attendees Shutter Sam & Brosnan Photographic, plus Feather Love's images of A B & The Sea in her pool & Anne Sage in her studio)

Me: super nervous about getting married, being centre of attention and want to grab a few minutes alone with the boy prior to the wedding ceremony. 

Him: magical, super romantic moment pictured of seeing me for the first time walking up the aisle. 

Can there be a happy compromise??

*****

Just don't do fucking First Look photos, whatever you do.

How much are wedding photos rly worth?? (Sponsored by Sunshine Charlie)

I'm pretty excited about this one. Think I'll let Nicole do the talking...

Hello, I am Nicole Firestone, a Seattle-based wedding photographer. I am insatiably curious about life and people. I also believe in magic. Not in the fairy tale way, but in the way that human emotion can be communicated through photographs stopping you dead in your tracks or instantaneously bringing you to tears. It is truly magical when all goes right!

I am not your average camera lady who likes to pop in and out of your life for the events. I am interested in being a creator and producer of ideas and connecting with you on a higher level. It is this connection and intimacy in people that makes magical photographs, not cameras.

I decided that in order to better understand what goes into making photographic magic, and therefore what “value” people place on it, I would launch this project called Gimme This For.

Here's how it works:

1. You book your wedding with a $1000 deposit.
2. I deliver your photos and return your deposit in full.
3. You pay what you think your photographs are worth.

I want to stress that I am not doing this experiment because I believe the cost of wedding photography is unjustified. I honestly believe it is worth every penny!!  My goal is to stimulate conversation. I want to challenge people to think about not only what their photos mean to them, but also what the experience of creative collaboration means to them, especially on one of the most important days of their lives.

Weddings are an amazing time of support, love, and celebration. A wedding is an event composed of and by awesome people. And this is the day most “ordinary” people get to feel creative, make decisions, and plan something extra special for themselves. My idea is that if people have to decide what to pay me for their wedding photos, they will become more invested in the creative process. And the photos will be (intrinsically) worth that much more.

I've already been told that I'm crazy and that I'm going to attract the wrong crowd. I am aware of this possibility, but I trust my intuition to guide me in how and who I choose to participate in this study. Not having a price tag on my work does not devalue it.

The Gimme This For project is intended to be a feel-good experiment, not an insult to the community. So let’s get on with spreading the love.

I believe in challenge and contribution. I believe risks are worth taking. I believe in taking a chance to find truth. I believe in pressing on even in the face of opposition. I believe in listening and taking notes. I believe in goodness and life lessons. I believe in thought-provoking conversation and constructive criticism. I believe in making many friends along the way. And, most importantly, I believe people are inherently good.

Photos by Sunshine Charlie

This Is Not Vintage Wedding Photography

Noa got a lil bee in her bonnet about.... Well, you'll see. And she asked me if I'd let her write a post.

I said FUCK YES. Obv.

I have been shooting "vintage"-inspired photography since I was at least 14 or so. As one of the first photographers in the alternative wedding industry to be labeled a "Vintage Photographer," I was proud and happy to see that people were categorizing my work this way and that they were clearly able to see my influences. 

But in the past few years, the Alternative or Vintage Wedding thing has grown into its own mainstream. And once something is mainstream it doesn't need a name anymore, except for maybe "mainstream." It's kind of like what happened with the alternative music scene back in the 90's: eventually every band started sounding "alternative" and everyone started listening to that type of music, which made the whole thing NOT alternative anymore.

The way the word "vintage" is used lacks accuracy most of the time, and can actually suppress creativity, as opposed to how it helped open a new route for creative expression back when I started....  If anything is slightly inspired by a bygone era, we slap the word "vintage" on it. 

If you score a beautiful wedding dress from the 1930's on Etsy, it's a vintage dress. Awesome. If you use mason jars for your centerpieces, it's not vintage, it's Martha Stewart. There is nothing vintage about the balloons in your engagement photos. Air plants aren't vintage. If you process your digital images to look like film, well so does everyone else these days, so let's not call it vintage. And if you shoot actual film, that's not vintage, it's film. If you found some fabric from the 1960's to use as a backdrop, that fabric is vintage. If you have a tattoo, that's not vintage, it's a tattoo. If you throw a swing-dance-party-themed-wedding, right on, but it's Retro, not vintage. If the vibe is Old Hollywood Glam, then call it Old Hollywood Glam. If you and all your hippie friends run around naked in the forest and eat shrooms after your ceremony -- your wedding is a Hippie Wedding (and you NEED to hire me to shoot that!). If you have a photography site and you are influenced by old photos, we should be able to tell that by looking at your work -- you don't have to tell us it's vintage. Please reduce the use of the V-word. 

And, I would like to present the following idea to all creatives in the industry: what if you remove the word "vintage" from your info/description page on your web site (unless of course, you rent actual vintage items out or something) -- would you still feel fully confident that your work speaks for itself? 

Since "vintage"-influenced wedding design/style/photography is now fully mainstream for us, isn't it redundant? If we don't use it to describe our own work, we can have more freedom to be influenced by anything, and therefore we can have more space to allow our creativity to go wherever it wants to... Which is how this whole current movement began. I propose we use "Progressive Wedding Industry" instead. I like that, and it's accurate.

Vintage used to be a word that signified imagination. It meant that interesting and artistic people could actually express their own taste, personality and ideas in their non-traditional & non-generic weddings. This "new" (ironically, the exact opposite of the word vintage) wedding movement was an alternative to the boring, traditional weddings that were leftover from the 90's and all the cheesy things that went along with them. Nowadays, we're all creative and everyone is influenced by old stuff, so it's embedded into what we do. Therefore making the V-word superfluous.

If you are using the word "vintage" to describe anything but an item that is actually old, you are probably overusing the word. If you frequently use the term "vintage-inspired," you are probably, no definitely, overusing it.

(All photos by Noa Azoulay-Sclater of Feather Love)

Emma + Tim run away to city hall

You guys, it's a write-up from THE GROOM:

Emma and I met each other in our mid-20s. We didn't grow up together, but we grew into adults together. Being an adult can be serious business, and we've come to recognise that part of what makes a relationship successful is to know when to be focused on the mundanity of life and when to embrace your whimsy let yourself be spontaneous.

That moment presented itself to us about nine months before our wedding day. We had been planning a straightforward wedding up to that point and had begun to feel that we weren't doing justice to the love we share. During a long discussion as we drove through the countryside near where we live, Emma remarked, "We should just run away and get married at City Hall in New York." We initially laughed and shrugged off the idea. Twenty four hours later, we were breaking the news to our family that we were eloping.

In retrospect, going halfway around the world to be married is an apt analogy for our relationship. It was an unforgettable adventure, punctuating the unforgettable adventure Emma and I had been on in the preceding six and a half years as we carved our our lives together. Much as we wanted to celebrate our nuptials with friends and family, there would be time for that we we returned; on our wedding day, there was only one person I wanted to be with and see happy.

We met with our photographer, Monica, on the morning of the wedding at City Hall. Thanks to East Side Bride, Emma had discovered Hart + Sol photography, who are based out of Brooklyn. We were secretly a little nervous about the idea of having a photographer there with us on the day, but we needn't have been. Monica took amazing photos, but more than that, her kind words and encouragement helped make a morning that might have otherwise been overrun by the stiff bureaucracy of City Hill a warm and gentle experience. Monica's photos captured the sincere and unfettered happiness in the expressions on our faces, in a way that I've never seen in Emma and I before. It's impossible to imagine the day without Monica there to help us focus and reflect on on the importance of that moment.

After the ceremony, Emma and I walked the High Line together as a gentle rain fell, had a wonderful candle-lit dinner on the Lower East Side, and then watched The Rosebuds play an intimate set at the Bowery Ballroom. A few days later we shipped out to London to visit friends, then continued our adventures in Paris and Berlin.

Emma and I were always going to fall in love with New York City -- it was wonderful to fall further in love with each other because of New York City.

So what if they didn't take Matt up on any of his restaurant recommends?

♥

Engagement Photo DOs and DON'Ts

I still don't get the point of engagement photos. Feel free to write an essay below -- in 100 words or less pls -- explaining to me WHAT THE FUCKING POINT IS.

But. Maddie's comment over on "Pleez help me dress myself for my engagement photos" was so bloody helpful -- not just for those of you preparing for engagement photos, but for any of us preparing to be photographed EVER -- that I thought I'd try to squeeze a little more advice out of her.

(Lady does know how to shoot an engagement photo, or a "love photo" if you'd prefer to call it that.)

Here. She. Goes.

I have a confession to make: The first engagement session I ever photographed was for a friend. She and her fiance let me "style" their shoot, and in all of my novice glory, I put the poor bastards in matching outfits. Red shirt for him. Printed red dress for her. Awww....so sweet. ::shakes head::

BUT - you don't have to repeat my mistakes! So, to make up for the evil done against my poor friends, I offer you the do's and don'ts of engagement outfits:

DON'T. Wear. Matching. Outfits. Coordinating a *little* bit is fine, but you're not a member of Destiny's Child. You and your partner are unique individuals (it's why you love each other!) If you don't dress like each other every other day of the week, don't dress like each other for your engagement shoot.

DO think of your surroundings when picking out colors for your outfit. For example, if your photos are in a park, know that a green dress is going to make you blend in with the bushes. Something on a red scale (like pink) will really pop against the green, or for a more subdued look, a cool color like blue will still differentiate from your surroundings. If you need help figuring out which colors will pop the most, look at a color wheel. The hues directly across from each other will stand out the most (red and green, purple and yellow, orange and blue). But basically anything other than the color you're standing in front of will work.

DO wear something patterned or a color-blocked outfit if you're worried about certain anatomy standing out more than others in your pictures. Because fabrics create shadows and highlights, and photography is all ABOUT shadow and highlight, solids one-piece outfits are going to make every bump show through your clothes. Patterns will still show off your fabulous figure, but will camouflage the bits and pieces you don't want to accentuate. Color-blocking breaks things up a bit - and the different colors, textures and fabrics will add interest to the outfit so it's not just about the silhouette.

DO wear fitted clothes that aren't super clingy if you want to flatter your body (I know this isn't some people's style. I get that. But if you want your body to look smokin' in your pics, it will get lost in shapeless clothing). If you're curvy like me, clothes that fit closer to the body are going to do you more favors than loose-fitting outfits. Also, draw attention to your favorite parts by adding interest there. (Great rack? Wear a v-neck. Sexy arms? Go sleeveless. You get the point).

[Editor's Note: I'm sorry Shannon, but YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A GREAT RACK.]

DON'T wear white. Wedding dresses are full of intricate detail that can photograph beautifully, but for the most part white doesn't really show up well in photos. There are exceptions of course, but color is your friend.

You DON'T need a new outfit. If you have something in your closet that makes you feel like a super star, wear it. You love it for a reason.

DO wear makeup. Even if you don't usually wear it, cameras have a tricky way of picking up every uneven tone on our faces. You don't have to go full-on musical theatre with it, but a little foundation and mascara will go a long way toward making your pictures reflect how you look in real life (and if you do normally wear makeup, wear just a tiny bit more).

DON'T forget accessories. If you are going to wear solids (which is totally cool by the way! You don't *have* to wear patterns) then I suggest a strong accessory like a statement necklace or earrings, or headband or WHATEVER makes you feel cool. The color rules for accessories are the same as above. A mustard necklace is really going to pop against an eggplant sweater.

Speaking of cool. DO wear something that makes you feel cool. Frankly, for all the rules and regulations above, wearing something you feel awesome in is going to make your pictures look fantastic. Nothing can substitute for confidence. Are you listening to me? Nothing.

DON'T play it safe. Nobody else is watching, so none of your friends on Facebook are going to see these if you don't want them too. Engagement photos shouldn't be a chore, so have a little fun with it.

DON'T treat any of the above like hard and fast rules. I'm not Stacy London. I won't come to your house and take all your clogs away from you. At the end of the day you just need to feel good about how you look.

So, those are the general do's and don'ts. The following are some personal beliefs:

You DON'T need a causal outfit. For some reason, everyone thinks they need a casual outfit. But unless you really want one, it's unnecessary.

DO look like the most dressed up version of yourselves. Wear what you would normally wear to a really fun party (this is open to your interpretation of course). This is partly because it dresses up your photos and partly because party outfits put people in a mood to have fun.

DO understand that your photographers don't see your body the way you do. Of course we want to give you the most beautiful, flattering photos of yourself. But if I'm your photographer, then I automatically think you're drop dead gorgeous. I don't know that you hate your arms or that you think your ass is flat. If you look happy and in love in your photos, it's a total disservice to yourself to fixate on body parts (and I say this with love, because I'm guilty of it too).

DON'T be afraid to ask our opinion though! If you're between outfits, we can usually give you a good idea of what's going to photograph better. And if you do have certain hangups about how you might look, we can usually offer advice for how to play up your best assets. (I will, however, refuse to acknowledge anything you might call a flaw. You're fucking gorgeous, ok?)

Nearly all of this advice works for any occasion, amirite?

Photos by Maddie + Monica of Hart + Sol

FUNTERNETS

a few things i've neglected to post/tweet while i've had my head up my own asshole for the past week or so:

- Rad + In Love. Two rad lady photographers I happen to know personally are joining forces and giving away a free wedding package. JUMP ON THAT.

- Elizabeth Dye's new dresses for 2012

- Digby + Iona's latest collection, Me + My Arrow (also avail at Catbird)

- "Second Chance" Herve Leger (via little winter bride)

- soup club. need i say more??

- oop! and i almost forgot: Design Tonic (the design blog/online mag that H + cevd designed together) is finally up and running. it's pretty great.

Photo of Jesse Jo Stark via Soph Mueller