Spring Shopping for the Groom

There's a good wedding-y* men's shopping guide over on Refinery29 today.

I especially like these Heutchy bucks, and the J. McLaughlin silk print bow tie.

_______________________________
*Okay, some of it is wedding-y. I see weddings everywhere.

Dude, you should get married in this.

Limited edition nautical bow tie made from vintage fabric. 

(By Pierrepont Hicks, obv.)

Problem Child

Dear ESB,

My fiance and I have enjoyed a long engagement. In the earliest of wedding planning stages, we asked my fiance's sister if her son Eli* could be our ring-bearer. Eli is my fiance's only nephew. He is three years old. He's adorable. We love him to pieces. Over the past year, however, Eli has become a problem child. So much so, he has been kicked out of his preschool, and his exasperated parents are seeking behavioral therapy for him. He's ornery, unruly and unpredictable. My fiance and I are exchanging vows in a beautiful, impeccably preserved plantation home listed on the National Register. (Antiques! Winding staircase! Gardens! So many danger zones for Eli!) We are a month-and-a-half away from our wedding day, and my fiance's sister has emailed me about What Eli Should Wear. How do we tell her that we are not only having second thoughts about him being our ring-bearer, but we are now considering NO KIDS AT ALL at our ceremony?

Thank you,
Worried Bride

*name changed to protect the not-so-innocent little boy

*****

WB, can I tell you something? Ring bearers kind of skeeve me out.

I’m willing to tolerate the occasional flower girl, but the whole idea of clipping a bow tie onto a little boy and sending him down the aisle clutching a beribboned pillow when he would really rather be whacking something (or someone) with a stick….

Anyhoo.

Tell your future sister-in-law the truth. You love "Eli" to death, but no way are you letting him anywhere near your impeccable antique-y plantation-home wedding.

XOXO,
ESB

(Photo by Christina Richards. Please note: This kid might actually be construed as adorable. Nothing to do with the bow tie, in my opinion.)

How to help a guy who wants to look dapper

Hi ESB,

I have a friend who has historically not been very *into* fashion. Or clothing beyond jeans and a t-shirt (bonus points if it references Transformers, TMNT or X-Men). Recently, however, he's begun to get a little more comfortable in his skin and experimenting with clothes and he is debuting somewhat of a new look at a wedding of a mutual friend. Now normally I'd say "Who gives an eff what you wear to someone else's wedding? You're a guest" but I really want him to feel like he looks f*cking awesome for once. The way that only new clothes can make you feel. The way that boys so rarely get to feel when they're stuffed into uncomfortable suits. So the question is: He's bought a yellow and blue plaid bow tie and literally talked about nothing else for the past two weeks. He wants to marry it with a casual fedora and sport coat for a sort of Jason Mraz meets Dr. Who look. How does one pull this off without looking like Christopher Lloyd in "Back to the Future?"

Thanks,

M

P.S. Back story. This kid's been in the closet a LONG time. He's a huge Ghostbusters & Ninja Turtles nerd (and my husband's best friend). It's kind of a HUGE deal for him to care about this. Like the bow tie is his way of coming out without actually saying the words. If that makes sense...

*****

Dude is jumping straight into the deep end here.

The best advice I can give him/you is to MAKE SURE EVERYTHING FITS. Guys who live in jeans and t-shirts always buy their dress clothes too big.

Photo of MGMT (a couple of guys who rarely wear shirts, let alone suits) by Richard Burbridge courtesy of GQ.

Sauvie Island Resort Wedding (who needs a disco ball?)

Okay, so I lovelovelove to feature weddings by near and dear blogfriends and of course people who have written in to ask for advice... But it is also pretty amazing to receive a zipfile out of the blue of wedding photos like this.

Holgas taken by talented family and friends. A wild vintage dress. Some serious motherf*cking groom style. And FEATHERED INVITATIONS? I think this lady might actually be more east side bride than I am. I mean, she does practically live my neighborhood.

Here's what Joanna had to say about her wedding:

I always imagined I'd have a Fall wedding. When we got engaged on a Friday in June, I accepted what would turn out to be a very demanding 50+ hour/week job the next week. But we decided it would be the same amount of stress whether we compressed it into a few months as it would if we dragged it out over a year, so we decided to go for it. My husband is a freelance commercial producer and I'm an art director, so we had confidence that our combined talents could make it work.

My dream was to get married outside on a farm, have a reception in a barn and have a giant bonfire. I got 2 out of 3. We live in Los Angeles and our family is the Bay Area and New England. LA was never an option, neither of us feel a very strong connection to the city, plus it would just be too expensive. Next we thought New England, but mid-Oct is already too cold. The Bay Area? Again too expensive and weather is iffy. My husband used to live in Portland and we go up there a lot for fun and work. He'd shot a commercial on this farm on Sauvie Island just north of Portland last Spring and we thought the location and the setting would be perfect, plus mid-October in Portland can be really nice.

We went to visit the farm in July and let's just say, one of us had a vision....and it wasn't me. It was all overgrown and there was a lot of random junk laying around, but my husband had confidence in the location, so I trusted him. There was a Black Locust tree with a dozen trunks that would be perfect for the ceremony and there was a giant Cottonwood that created a sprawling canopy, that he envisioned being lit with china lanterns where we would have the bar. The ceremony and reception would take place on a clearing that sat about 20 feet above the riverbank. The only problem was, how do we get the guests from the reception to the beach for the bonfire? My solution was to move the reception a little north, where it was flat and we could just walk onto the beach. My husband's solution was to build some permanent stairs on the slope. He was passionate about the Cottonwood being a key element (he was right) and he had confidence that he could build the stairs in a few days with the help of our fathers (both master craftsmen) and our brothers (five between the two of us). They ended up building the stairs out of massive timbers that had drifted up on the beach as well and the stone that was already on the site. My father finished it off with handrails on both sides that were straight out of Lord of the Rings. So, while the men were busy with that and other site related chores, so I took care of the details, like dress!, shoes, invites, flowers, food, drinks, etc.

Being a graphic designer, I'd had an idea in my head for invites before I was even close to getting engaged. I wanted a really pretty poster. What we ended up with was more beautiful than I could have imagined. The overall idea was to create something that felt hand-made and delicate, both natural and wedding-y. (Which was our concept for the wedding itself.) We had a friend give us a crash course on silk screening and we made all the invites/correspondence cards in one afternoon. The posters were printed on large pieces of tracing paper that I bought in pads, which made printing on such delicate material go a lot more smoothly. I work a lot with feathers in my art, there was no question about including them in some way. I wanted to complete the package with pretty calligraphy, so I scoured the internet for a calligrapher that I could afford until I found Robyn Love, who happened to be having a sale on one style of lettering. Perfect!

For the decor, I envisioned strings of lights everywhere, a la Chanel Resort 2010, and a disco ball hanging from a tree. But a few weeks before the wedding I realized, that there was a lot I would just have to let go. Because of rain, we needed tents and because of money/resources we opted for China Balls instead of strings of lights. The result was beautiful. It rained really hard the morning of the wedding but the clouds broke and the sun came out just in time for our guests to enjoy the dramatic setting as the arrived on Sauvie Island in the late afternoon.

I found my dress at The Way We Wore. It's a 1920's cotton gauze sheath dress with white opaque seed beading and it was the very first one I tried on. The silk slip was from Hidden Treasures in Topanga Canyon, also from the 20's. The shoes were a gift from my godmother, silver glitter Louboutins. I wore a strand of feathers I made around my neck. The dress has a drop waist and I wanted something that was more fitted, so I bought a couple yards of acid yellow silk that I tied around my waist to hide the seam. The acid yellow was apart of my multi-color palette that was loosely referenced throughout to tie everything together, but not overtly seen. I also sent the palette off to my close friends and family and suggested they dress within it if they felt like it.

(Editor's Note: Are you noting that the guests do in fact match the invitations? This is an advanced move. Unless your friends are stylists/art directors/costume designers, I don't recommend that you attempt it.)

Since my dress was so delicate, I decided to change into an 80's sequin and beaded dress and black oxford booties after the ceremony. My husband wore a black suit from J. Lindeberg, a custom shirt from Brooks Brothers, Rachel Comey canvas oxfords and his tie was a family heirloom. We both brought our ponchos to the farm for when it got chilly, but only he managed to wear his.

For the reception, we decided that the three key factors were hot food, lots of alcohol and a really great DJ. We'd heard that Cindy the Bar-B-Q queen was amazing, so we hired her. Even though she was a little unprepared for cooking in the woods, the food was so great, even some vegetarians indulged. For drinks, my brother's girlfriend is a bartender in San Francisco and offered to order the booze through her connections and they drove most of it up. She convinced her friends at House Spirits to donate some gin and vodka to use for cocktails that she created. One of the bartenders drank a few too many of them and was sent home after hitting on a some guests and face planting in the field.  For desert my husband's mother made about 300 miniature cream-puffs. As for the music, our friend Heather Thompson did an amazing job. We asked her to DJ for a few hours, and then we would switch to a play list. But everyone was having such  a good time, that she happily played all night (she literally DJ'd over 7 hours). The three of us were the last ones there at 3 in the morning.

(Photos by Danielle Levitt, Shaniqwa Jarvis and Kevan Bean)

bring the THUNDER

Was that you groaning out loud? Sorry. I guess I'm a little out of practice. 

Anyhoo, get your pre-orders in for the Thunder necktie from Pierrepont Hicks. Srsly. 100% English silk, hand-sewn in the USA. In stock July 1.

The reversible Thunder Bow is pretty sweet too.

Note to my dad who told me the blog is too materialistic: WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?

Reversible Bow Tie by Pierrepont Hicks

The bow tie trend seems to be kicking into high gear all of a sudden. Can't say that I mind.

Order directly from Pierrepont Hicks here.

Via all plaidout. Obv. Happy blog birthday, Max! Now will you please grow back your mustache?

pop-up wedding inspiration

You have to check out today's inspiration board on snippet & ink.

a) I do love the pop-up wedding concept, even if I disapprove of a groom in a tuxedo t-shirt. (Did I say that already?)
b) The mustache. The real live mustache that is attached to his face.
plus
c) I love a single blossom in a jar. Obv.
d) I was just thinking about leather clutches. More on that later.
and
#5 It's a gluten-free wedding! Macarons are gluten-free!

I'm pretty sure she did the board just for me.

(Photo courtesy of Grand Opening Gallery via New York Magazine)

Mister Mort's F U Club Tie

(Please click photo to get the full effect in close-up.)

I've been obsessed with this tie since I first caught a glimpse on all plaidout. It would make a subtler choice for a groom than an ironic tuxedo t-shirt, no? Not to mention a hella rad gift for groomsmen.

Email Mister Mort directly to inquire about orders (and peruse his blog for sartorialism with a sense of humor). Mr. Mort also does velvet bow ties in black, blue, purple and orange, but my heart is with the FUCKYOU. For obvious reasons.


Photos courtesy of Mister Mort (featuring The Trad, as it turns out) and all plaidout

I watch too much TV

Way too much TV. Especially when there are other more important things I should be doing.

But I won't lie, I'm pretty stoked that Jason Schwarztman's new HBO series, Bored to Death, premieres this Sunday.

Here he is rocking Band of Outsiders (via Vain and Vapid)

p.s. what's your dad wearing to your wedding?

Paul Jasmin looks pretty slammin in Band of Outsiders.

Via all plaidout, of course, who points out that several young designers have started using older men for their look books.

p.s. My dad wore a white Mexican blouse thing. But he's a 6'2" sculptor. He pulled it off.

Groom Style: Rocking the bow tie

Honestly, I'd always been dubious about bow ties. I thought they ought to be reserved for school boys or science teachers. But these work.

Moschino Fall 2008. (See Nibs for Martha B's picks for Spring/Summer.)

(Images courtesy of men.style.com)

Groom Style: Le Corbusier

Here's a man who can seriously rock a bow tie.

Images from High Fashion magazine via Scout Holiday (love this blog!)