I just found your blog and have been reading it for hours. You are amazing. I wish I'd looked for wedding advice before the wedding was already half planned but hindsight is 20/20.
So I realized pretty quickly while reading that I have broken one of your golden rules. We invited some people to our wedding that we really don't want to be there. Most of them politely declined, some did not RSVP at all, but one couple with a newborn baby (who will be about 1 year old by the wedding date) excitedly accepted our invite. Back story is that we know this couple through a group of mutual friends that we used to hang out with more in the past before they all started having babies. To be honest we have never really liked them much but they were always involved in parties/events/other weddings of our mutual friends so when we were drafting our guest list we included them, not really thinking it through. We've never even really hung out with them on a one-on-one basis. I think we just got overzealous with our invitations. We also figured that since they would have a fairly new baby (their first) that they wouldn't want to attend because the wedding is out of town, they don't own a car, and live a pretty budget lifestyle so we didn't imagine them springing for a hotel room and bus tickets or a rental car and all that.
So until today we hadn't really thought much more about it other than to comment every once in awhile that we wish we hadn't invited them because they are tedious to talk to and we are worried they won't get along well with our real friends. This morning one of our mutual friends told us she was surprised to discover recently that she had been de-friended on facebook by the female half of this couple. We laughed at the weirdness of this. Since the baby they have been pretty aloof and not really interested in hanging out with any baby-free friends of theirs. Nothing weird had happened, she just one day noticed this woman had stopped showing up in her feed. There had been no falling out, she just randomly dropped her. I jokingly said, wouldn't it be weird if she de-friended my fiance and I too, even though she is planning on coming to our wedding. We all agreed there is no way she would do that. I just had a look on facebook when I got home and discovered both my fiance and I have been de-friended too. WTF?
I know facebook friendship is a terrible indicator of actual friendship. I'm not a particularly avid facebook user at all which is why I never noticed she defriended me at the time. Honestly I kind of hate everything about facebook. BUT, I'm actually super weirded out that she would de-friend us in a virtual sense but still plan on coming to our wedding. Part of me sees this as an opportunity to somehow un-invite them, or at least check in with them to see if they are still planning on coming since they seem to not be interested in maintaining a virtual friendship with us anymore. But I can't decide which I'd rather avoid more, a confrontation with them now, or having them actually attend and take up 3 seats at our wedding (er... wait... does a 1 year old get a whole seat?) What do you think? If I did talk to them about it do you have any advice on what I should say?
Should I just shut up and concentrate on more important things like what shoes and accessories I am going to wear with this dress? I'm thinking these or these. I'm quite tall so not into wearing heels higher than 2". Plus the wedding is outdoors so flats or wedges would work best. I kind of want the shoes to be a statement so am unsure if the LF ones are enough. I can't really spend more than $350. Would love to know what you think about all of this. Also please (duh) avoid using my name if you post this lest my non-friends discover I am gossiping about them on the internet like a total asshole.
Love your blog and will continue reading your entire back catalog now...
*****
I know I rant about how you should never invite anyone you don't want to hang out with. And I mean it.
BUT. The truth is, you will be so deliriously happy running around in that RAD DRESS (which, you should totally get the LF wedges, nobody will see them anyway) that you won't even notice these two duds and their dud baby.
It's not worth the bad karma to uninvite them.
It's not worth the bad karma to uninvite them.
