Miamify my wardrobe

Dear ESB,

I am moving to MIAMI in the fall for work. I read your fantastic guide to the city and am so so excited for the food, the beach, Wynwood, speaking Spanish, and a new place.

But. I'm nervous, too. I have moved around a ton and always found a great community and made a great life, but this is going to be worlds apart from the Midwestern and East Coast cities where I have spent my whole life. 

My fear of moving is manifesting in the particular anxiety that I don't know how to dress in Miami (I don't think I will have much use for the oversize sweater/short skirt/wool tights outfits that I have perfected). 

I get that fixing my clothes isn't going to resolve the larger problem, but humor a girl. I have a bit of a bonus coming my way soon -- if you were going to spend about $500 to update your wardrobe for such a move, what would you get?

Besos.

*****

WHO SAYS the right wardrobe won't fix everything?? I would never make that ludicrous claim.

Since I have not once set foot in Miami, I brought back the badass Caro, our resident Miami expert....

Hola!

The key to being happy while living in Miami: Live like you’re on vacation. Or at least pretend like you’re on vacation as much as you possibly can. I.E. Go to the beach, drink Miami Vices, wear shorts everywhere.

My six tips for MIAMI-fying your wardrobe:

1. Neon is a neutral. Over here it’s summer year-round, which means you can wear color all the time. Ever since neon arrived at J.Crew, I’ve been keeping these shorts + t-shirts in heavy rotation.

Editor's Note: Stock up! That shit is on sale.

2. Always bring a sweater. Miami air conditioning is not subtle. Find a goes-with-everything cardigan [also on sale] you can leave in your purse because the transition from 90F to 65F every single time you walk into a building isn’t something your body acclimates to all that quickly.

3. Always have on hand: emergency flip-flops and emergency heels. After-work thunderstorms and after-work happy hours are equally likely – you should be prepared for either. Keep a pair of flip flops in your purse to protect your work flats in case of tropical weather, and a pair of black pumps in your car to switch into once you get to the bar.

4. You need at least one dependable clubbing/bar-crawling outfit. Bar-hopping starts at 11:30 PM at the earliest and everyone outside of Wynwood will expect you to wear heels. I default to colorful stilettos and a black minidress I bought at Forever 21, but if I had money to burn I’d go with this BCBG body-con dress [sale sale sale].

5. You need two bathing suits: one to look cute in and one to tan in. And if you heed my advice about living like you’re on vacation, you’re probably going to wear them out pretty quickly.... so consider your tanning bikini an investment. I like the bandeau tops from Victoria Secret because they’re not egregiously expensive and even though they have that fun strappy back detail they don’t actually leave horrendous tan lines.

Editor's Note: PLS WEAR SUNSCREEN. BOTH OF YOU.

6. Frizz-Ease. Because the humidity is real.

*****

And a few updated Miami recommends because my lady Caro knows how to live......

Eat: Butcher Shop, Khong River House, Swine, Uvaggio.

Drink: Broken Shaker (it’s permanent now, and still awesome), The Reagent Cocktail Club, the Martini Bar at the Raleigh Hotel, Wynwood Brewing Company, AC’s Icees.

(Image via Freehand Miami, home of the Broken Shaker)

Be Merry: Spend a day at the Standard, go get cinnamon buns at Knaus Berry Farm, check out the new art museum, rent some kayaks, host a bbq at the beach.

Just because you’re living like you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you need to pay vacation prices for your booze. Find reasonably-priced craft beer without driving to BFE (“Butt-Fucking-Egypt”, aka Kendall, aka, really really far) at: this gas station, this unassuming convenience store, this other unassuming convenience store. And this gas station has a tapas restaurant and an imported wine selection with great priced.

In my original post, I told you the wonders of Publix (cookies, pastelitos, etc), but now that you’re going to be a local, you need to know about PubSubs. Publix Sub Sandwiches: you can order them online ahead of time at most locations now, and getting a chicken finger sub to pair with a cucumber-lime Gatorade and some chilled pinot grigio for a day on the beach is nirvana. Trust me. They put chicken fingers IN THE SANDWICH. You’re welcome.

Finding parking on South Beach takes the same sort of blind faith ancient cultures put into rain dances – believe there will be parking and it shall appear. Be patient. Also, be sure to download the PayByPhone parking app – you can add more time directly from your phone and if your address is local you'll save 20%.

No one is on time anywhere.

Probably because they’re looking for parking.

But don’t take public transportation, seriously. That stranger who punched my friend in the face on the train, he’s punched other people now.

Uber is still not available, but UberX and Lyft are operating illegally anyway and staying true to the city’s time-honored tradition of ignoring most vehicular-related legislature (using your turn signal is widely regarded as a sign of weakness).

Bienvenidos!

Image at top: Zara S/S 2013 via Style Pantry (Maybe more Palm Springs than Miami? Miami style scares me a little, you guys.)

Bangable hair

Hey ESB,

I am in the process of ending a relationship. It was great, until I realized he's a total player and the connection I thought we had was really just my imagination. The sex was amazing, but I have learned the hard way that physical chemistry can be deceptive. Just because his hands knew just how to touch me, his arms just how to squeeze me hello, and his huge dick how to give me multiple orgasms doesn't mean it was done with care. It just means he knows the right moves. And he's using them on a handful of other girls on the nights I'm not with him.

I have long hair (below boob length), which I know is a turn on for most guys, and especially for this dude. He made me feel so potent and sexy, and I think I kept it long for that reason. I've been wanting to cut my hair since before I met him. It seems like now is the time to go for the messy, dirty, I don't give a fuck bob I've been craving. But I hate to admit... part of me worries about not being bangable with short hair.

I know I need to "own it" and that confidence is sexy, but come on, confidence is fickle. I also know hair grows back, but that always takes forever. What if I cut my hair short and look like Lena Dunham on a bad day (but without her sense of humor)? What if I look like a soccer mom? Why do I feel tied to some male expectation of sexy?

I am so ready for a change. Help convince me to say fuck it and just do it. And if you have any other tips, I welcome them with open arms.

*****

Start off slow. You don't have to get a shaved-up-the-back-of-your-neck bob. You can get a messy, sexy, Alexa Chung bob. A Karlie Kloss for Iro bob (see above). A fuck-it, bed-head-y whoever-this-is bob. (Be sure to bring photos to your stylist.)

But do it! Cut it! Cut your hair!

Cut it just to prove to yourself that you are damn sexy with WHATEVER HAIR YOU PLEASE

1. Cut your hair.

2. Buy a killer pair of jeans.

3. Go read The New Yorker at a hotel bar and allow some lonely gentleman to buy you a martini.

4. Go home alone, feeling smug.

4a. Or not! Get on tinder and find yourself some strange!

Great, now I want a bob. (Alexis, are you reading? Should we give me #3?)

Photo: Claudia Knoepfel and Stefan Indlekofer

My wedding is over and I hated my hair

Hey ESB.

I need some straight talk. My wedding happened this weekend, and ... I have major hair regret now. I got married in a different city from where I live, meaning my tried-and-true stylist was not an option, and so I had a highly recommended lady do my hair. I had a pretty shitty trial (she did an 1980's style updo) with my stylist the week of the wedding, but I figured it was a communication issue that would get ironed out since I emailed her a bunch of pictures of what I wanted after the trial and she seemed to get what I was going for.

On my wedding day, she put my hair in hot rollers and spent the next hour doing my sister's hair. When I pointed out that I had to be at a makeup appointment in 30 minutes, she freaked out and threw my hair into a really shitty updo again, despite me mentioning the pictures and her claiming she would do exactly what was pictured. So when I asked for a low, messy bun ... I got a bunch of curls pinned all over the place, no bun, and lots of volume that I never asked for. And since she finished up five minutes after my makeup appointment was supposed to start, there was no going back. I felt like a poodle all day, and even though everyone swore up and down that they loved my hair, it wasn't what I wanted. At all.

So I guess my question is, wtf do I do now? I have no complaints about the actual wedding, for the record. We had an outdoor wedding in a meadow in the middle of the forest, and it was truly lovely. The ceremony was incredible, the reception was a blast, and the weather was really perfect. I just cannot get over how disappointed I am every time I see myself in a photo ... and although I was so happy on my wedding day, every time I saw myself in a mirror I got sad that I looked so different from the vision that I had in my head during all these months of wedding planning.

I realize that what's done is done, but I feel so utterly shitty about all this. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

*****

Oh, lady. This makes my heart hurt.

Here's the straight talk......

YOU'LL GET OVER IT

It'll take a year, but you'll get over it.

In the meantime, stop looking at your wedding photos. And for the love of god STAY OFF THE WEDDING BLOGS



Kate Moss by Daniele & Iango for i-D Magazine (hair by Luigi Murenu) via Fashion Gone Rogue

A bride in search of a dilemma

Feb 20, 2013

Hey ESB,

We're planning a laid back, court house ceremony followed by a party in a pub later in the evening. I bought this dress which fits like a dream and is super flattering. I thought the hard part was over but now I have to accessorise which is not my strong suit.

I have the kind of fair skin that suits all hair colours, so I'm kicking around the idea of deep wine lipstick (maybe just for the reception so I'm not smearing lippy all over the groom during the ceremony) and dark nail polish. Would dark shoes make it all too matchy? I'm thinking flowers aren't even really necessary and the thought of putting something on my head is sending me over the edge.

Am I completely insane going down the dark lipstick/accessory route? I have a hard time picturing it all working together with the dress. To be honest I'm having a hard time picturing anything other than the stock standard nude pump, peonies, french manicure look. But I mean, YAWN, right!? 

Thanks

*****

Jul 12, 2013

Are you MARRIED? How did you accessorize??

Dress is gorg, b/t/w

*****

Jul 12, 2013

Thanks esb - I think so too.

Not married yet, shit gets real in October.

I wasn't too long engaged when I emailed you and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by all the choices. In fact, I was kind of projecting my stress about some significant life challenges by obsessing over wedding details. Don't think I'm the only bride to be to do that.

Things have a way of sorting themselves out though. I'm more or less organised with plenty of time to change my mind.

I've put a pretty vague order in with a florist that I drove past and loved the store set up (think fluro macrame hanging baskets with ferns etc). I've asked for a small bouquet that's wild and textural.

Accessories wise I bought these Emerson Fry shoes (they're gorg) and have put an order in for this amazing baby soft black leather jacket made by a local Melbourne designer. Oh and my wedding band arrived last week and I LOVE IT. I've spent a lot more money on accessories than on the dress but they're all pieces that I'll wear again (and again, and again). 

I've nixed the dark lipstick idea because I don't want to be worried all day/night that it's smudged, or worn off, or is on my teeth. And I don't want to discourage my new husband from kissing me for fear of my lipstick transferring itself to his face.

Besides that I'm pretty undecided about all the rest. I have a beautiful string of pearls my Dad bought me for my 21st that suit the neckline of the dress, and I was thinking of whacking some flowers in my hair like this (sorry no source, it's one of those frustrating pinterest/tumblr ones). Nails - no idea.

I'm open to suggestions if you or your readers feel up to completing the picture!

PS: We're taking our ceremony peeps out to lunch at the restaurant where we had our first date and it just so happens to be Chinese a la Shane and Eric. I love everything about that wedding and hope ours is just as fun...

*****

Jul 19, 2013

OK esb, I have a legit dilemma for you now. 

Last night, bridesmaid dress shopping, I found a dress [pictured above]. I know I wasn't really doing myself any favours but I had to try it on, and as suspected from looking at it on the rack it's absolutely gorgeous. It fits beautifully and suits my complexion and hair colour to a tee.

I can't justify spending $650 on a dress with no occasion to wear it, and it would make a KILLER wedding dress. But as you know, I already have an outfit sorted. 

It doesn't fit into any kind of budget I'm running right now, but that's what credit cards are for, right?!

I know I'm not the first to have the two dresses dilemma. I've canvassed my bridesmaids who've seen me in both dresses for their opinion but thought I'd throw to you also. Because, you know, guru.

Should I go with the new dress or stick to what I have planned? 

*****

For a courthouse wedding + Chinese + pub, I say stick to the shift dress.

p.s. You have bridesmaids for a courthouse wedding??

p.p.s. CHILLAX.

are these the barrettes you seek?

60's/70's deadstock from Lawrence via Forty-Sixth at Grace

Dear ESB: I'm having hair issues

A few months ago I felt like i needed a change, so I walked into a hair salon and asked them to "cut it all off." Little did I know, my boyfriend was planning on proposing to me the following week.  

"OMG, I just cut off all my hair," I screamed at him. Since the proposal I've been questioned as to what I am going to do with my hair. My wedding is this May, I don't really have time to grow it out. Can you please help me with a cool alternative that does not involve flowers or feathers. 

PS, I've attached a photo of my new hair cut and a link to the dress I'm getting. 

*****

Rock It.

You don't need anything on your head.

LA dress shopping tips?

Dear ESB,

My fella and I are currently taking a pre-wedding honeymoon (a funnymoon!), spending 8 months travelling up through Colombia and Central America before we fly home to Australia via LA. Once we get back we have about three weeks before the big day. I would highly recommend it to any bride to be. There is no pre-wedding angst, and you get to live and laugh through all the challenges and adventures that travelling throws at you. 

Anyway, I don't have a dress yet, and fashion in Australia is kind of limited, so I was hoping that you could point me in the direction of a few alternative wedding dress shops in LA. 

I am not a froofy bridal type. I am hoping to go for a kind of Kate Moss/Bianca Jagger aesthetic (and not spend more than about $800). I'm only going to have about four days for dress shopping, so given the tight schedule, want to collate a hit-list before I arrive. Any tips would be hugely appreciated. 

Thanks for your help and eternal good sense.  

*****

Just so we're clear, you don't need bridal shops.

You need a list of high-end-ish dept stores/boutiques to SCOUR for a white/white-ish/blush dress you can buy off the rack. You don't have time to mess around with special orders and alterations.

Off the top of my head, I'd recommend Barneys, Barneys Coop, Bloomingdale's (the big one at Century City), maybe Fred Segal, and of course Opening Ceremony, if only for comic effect.

Who knows, you might fall in love with the bow princess dress (pictured above) or this simple "ceremony dress."

Mostly just posting these photos b/c I'm rly into the hair.

LA LADIES? WHERE ELSE SHOULD OUR AUSSIE GO?

How did I miss this BOUFFANT HOW-TO?

Starring our lady Hannah??

That bouffant is so good she had Rock n Roll Bride and I convinced her wedding photos were from the 70's.

Check out the step-by-step instructions over on {this is glamorous}

via TeenAngster via Gaby Cetrulo

barrette remix: does tortoise shell work for a wedding?

Hi there,

I know I'm about a year late on this.

But I loved it then, and I love it now. I basically want that exact Rodarte barrette, but I can't find anything that doesn't have any bullshit crystals or (gah) pearls. I'm getting married in late May of 2012; this is my dress.

(Ignore that "boho chic" nonsense. And I know my dress has a sparkly crystal bit, but it's such a small bit). 

Since I can't find exactly what I want, I'm thinking of going in the other direction. So is tortoise shell too casual for a wedding? 

*****

I'm still loving barrettes. (As are alllllllllll the ladies who seem to be growing out their bangs at the moment. WUSSYPANTSES.)

But I feel like you need something with a little shine.

Vintage brass pansies? ($15)

Vintage brass feather? ($30)

Vintage "Carved" Barrette ($20), which, I'm pretty sure is made out of plastic. But how Rodarte AWESOME would it be if you painted it gold??


Top Photo: Rodarte, New York Fashion Week SS 2011 by Anna Bauer

Pleez help me with my Hair... or lack thereof

Dear ESB,

I've been searching for wedding hairstyles and have gotten super annoyed. When I search for "short wedding hair styles" the perception of "short" is horribly off. Apparently "short" means above the mid-back. I need short- and I mean SHORT. 

Basically, I have a very short A-line cut. The back is messy, but not quite spiky. The front is longer and frames my face. To add to this, I have very little hair. After 3 bouts with cancer (yup- all by the time I was 22), chemo left me with baby hair. It is fine, limp, and if it were long enough for a pony tail, my guess is that it would all fit in a braces rubber band. So, I bleach the shit out of it. I bleach it with 30 volume developer and powder bleach every 2 weeks because A) I hate roots B) I'm a little OCD and C) It gives it volume. So, I have short platinum blonde hair.

Our wedding is in an historic mansion. We're in California, but my fiance is a southern boy. The wedding will be very vintage/traditional with some style and spunk. I plan on having a blusher veil. 

I just want to see some inspiration for short hair. Help!

*****

Clearly you need to plop a big bow on top of your head.

I'm kind of not kidding?

Never thought I'd say it, but the Brigitte Bardot pic won me over. Only a platinum blond can get away with a black velvet bow.

p.s. Notice how she has pinned up her long hair, ATTEMPTING TO MAKE IT LOOK SHORT? HA!

Brigitte Bardot by Sam Levin via Lula Mag

The Art of Bangs

Soooooooo. I started to write up a Resolutions for 2012 post.........

I got as far as "I will learn how to trim my own bangs..." (C'mon. Erin Featherston trims her own bangs every morning. How hard can it be?)

But then my resolutions got all serious/depressing and I made the mistake of asking H for his opinion and we got in this big stupid fight in the middle of the Phoenix airport about whether I'm wasting my time trying to quit drinking coffee and/or whiskey every other month (I think it's helping, he thinks I'm nuts) and whether or not I should go back to the neurologist (NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGH).

I'm harboring this cracked little California dream that I can cure my headaches with organic food + hot yoga. REMEMBER MY RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010? I had no idea I was heading here, I swear to you.

whoopsies.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now you all think I'm a crazy person.


ohwell.





happy new year, you guys!!

Photo: Erin Fetherston by Vanessa Jackman

Sexiest hair tutorial EVAR

Warning: If you watch it you will want Fred to make love to you.

American men, why are you not more FRENCH?

(Thx Rachael!)

BIG BUNZ

This Dream Bun DIY kinda makes me wish I had more hair.

Not only does it look more doable than the Beauty Dept version, it is MORE BIGGARR.

The secret: an athletic sock donut. (or two.)

Sloane Sera for Opening Ceremony via What Possessed Me

HAIR!

Dear ESB,

I have long, thick, heavy hair. And by long, I mean like I have to ensure it doesn't fall in the loo when I take a wee.

I usually wear it down, or piled high in a messy rat's nest bun on the top of my head, held together by three, yes, three elastics.

Problem is, I want to look somewhat less like a hobo, and more like a sexy biatch for my wedding.

I went for a hair trial (ugh) on the weekend, and got them to do something like this. Looked great... for about an hour, then it lost all its volume with the weight of my hair, and turned into a saggy mess that looked worse than my usual tangles. Even with the 6 million pins the hair dresser used.

Any suggestions on a badass sexy hairstyle that will hold up my heavy hair? I also have a killer low backed dress, and didn't really wanna cover it up by having my hair down. Or should I just suck it up, and chop a foot or so off my locks?

xox,
Cousin It

*****

CHOP IT ALREADY. Jesus.

Image by Riitta Ikonen

Here's someone who actually needs our help

Dear ESB,

I've been reading your blog for months and though I have no idea how I found you, I heart you dearly! Come join my crew in NY soon! We'll take you to tequila trivia on sunday night which is as fun as it sounds: lots.

Anyway, to the point: My fiance and are one of those couples who like the DIY aesthetic but work 100 hours a week combined so by the time we have a free minute the last thing we can muster is the energy to craft anything worthy enough to be involved in our wedding (except we made our own invites but that's only because I had a hookup through work so that was essentially part of the 100 hrs... I'm rambling but you get the point. We're spent). We are madly in love 4 years strong but I'm starting to worry about pulling this whole shebang together with only 1 month left (Sept 10 yay!) and so much left to do.

Part of the "we're so busy" is that we're in the throes of planning Dr's visits instead of the wedding because we found out a few months ago that he has a brain tumor. WTF right? Wtf. Total shock that definitely helps keep those "what should my bridesmaids' dresses color be" dilemmas in check but it also put all planning on hold for a few months. Weeks and weeks into this stuff and we are feeling good about his ability to kick this shiz, we're optimistic like that, and both agree the show will go on with the wedding on the date as planned. At last the point: because of the crazy medical issues that arose, and needing to put those at the forefront of our attention we have seriously slacked on planning the wedding and I'm now beyond stressed.

Biggest obstacle: help us find good tunes to make this party a celebration of LIFE! LOVE! JOY, and that we even get to HAVE this day together. We're in the market for:

- DJ to spin tunes at the reception, preferably for no more than $1000. Wedding is at 4ish on Montauk, reception follows 6-11 or so in Bridgehampton*

Also would LOVE recommendations on:

- cheapish rehearsal dinner ideas in Montauk for about 30 people ($50 a person ideally)

- hair/ makeup people for 3-8 people (still seeing who wants this but at least it would be 3 people) who would be willing to come to Montauk and would be ok with $100 for the bride and closer to $50 per bridesmaid/mother/etc.

- sexy but tasteful stark white dress I can dance in at the reception, ideal price is like $30 but I'd go up to $100 if it's awesome and re-wearable. My dude is into my arms so a halter would be good.

We're paying for the wedding and on a budget, everyone's favorite word. We are super creative fun people but feeling totally drained and not able to make this party the awesome shin-dig we'd love it to be, to celebrate the once-in-our-lives gathering of our favorite people with. The above are the broad strokes of what's missing to make this happen. Any other recommendations would be super too...

I'm attaching my dress which I got from Bridal Garden in NYC (which I highly recommend... it's a thrift store/ sample store all in one and I combined 2 dresses for half of the price of a retail dress) in case that helps? Or maybe just because I love it, despite how it is so traditional and far from what I thought I'd want, which is why I think I'm jonesing for a shorter-funkier party dress if I start tripping all over it.

Thank you thank you thank you...

*Oh and for the record I feel like I have to make a disclaimer: I have a very generous colleague who scored us a deal on our venue as a thanks for some of that hard work, as we are very far from "hamptons" types, which is part of why I'm having a hard time finding some of these elements that will make it "us" or "us on a sojourn in the hamptons..."

*****

FWIW, I don't think you need a second dress. You look so gorg in the first one, why not wear it for as long as you can??

 ♥

STOP ASKING ME ABOUT VEILS

I have no idea what kind of veil you should wear.

Snooooooooooooozeville.

I do know I'm liking this whole messy braid/updo with flowers situation.

Image 1: SAGA SIG for Topshop
Images 2-4: Daniel Gurton for Vs. Magazine July 2011 via Fashion Gone Rogue via Jessica Goldfond

if i were to get married now...................

from elizabeth of the littlest

ever wonder what the wife of one of the coolest wedding people around -- a pretty fucking cool lady herself -- has to say about weddings?

ME TOO.

michael and i were engaged way back in 2005 (married 2006) when the knot and martha stewart were the stewards of all things wedding. the new york mag wedding issue was the only thing close to decent at the time and even that was a bit posh and removed from what i envisioned for my big day. i remember buying a couple of those magazines and literally getting tight in the chest at the thought of chocolate fountains and proper etiquette. somehow i am the girl who has NEVER been a bridesmaid (my closest friends are either not married and the ones who are just happened to get married in jordan, greece, india, australia and new zealand) and since i grew up LDS everyone around me married in the temple. so no frame of reference. zip. zero. i never dreamt of my wedding day and didn't see the point of bridesmaids or bridal showers which leads me to how over the top crazy this whole wedding thing has become! shots of cute feet and all.

that's not to say i didn't have the mason jars full of wild flowers on the vintage tablecloths or the tin buckets overflowing with icy drinks. i did. i had a pretty white dress, something old, something new. i poured over our invitations and had them printed at the legendary soho letterpress. i spent months tearing up on the subway listening to the songs i was going to walk down the aisle to and have for my first dance. i obsessed over finding the right shoes (i didn't!) i dreamt of our first night married and where we would have our honeymoon (costa rica.) i also had my closest family and friends there and not a person more. i seem to remember thinking that was all that really mattered. i still do.

so what would i change?

now that i see the possibilities, i can't help but think i could fit a couple things into my perfect memory of that day (the good thing about memory is that you can erase all of the things that seemed annoying at the time!)

i would probably have taken a chance and worn my hair up in a cute messy bun instead of down like i always have it. i love joanna's tutorials for simpletons such as myself. although it did look a bit like the elfin princess anne hathaway as a matter of fact.

i would have asked for fewer favors and just coughed up the dough - case in point:

i don't have the best photos from that day which i really regret. my gay fashion photographer friend from nyc shoot was supposed to shoot the family portraits and reception while he was busy trying to chase down a drink. we literally have never spoken since but i blame myself as i should have known he wasn't cut out for it. oh well. what i have learned from this is shooting weddings is hard work. hats off to wedding photographers. such an emotion laden day and you have the responsibility of capturing it, even if the bride accidentally took too much xanax or it's raining sideways. so long story short, i would have hired my photographers and given them a shot list of images i absolutely wanted (cake cutting, family portraits, more shots with michael, etc.)

i had a very well known, celebrity makeup artist (best friends with the gay fashion photographer so i no longer talk to her either - ha!) do my makeup as a favor but since she was doing me a favor, we didn't do a makeup test. i never wear makeup so didn't feel super comfortable and as great as she is, if you aren't comfortable in your own skin, it doesn't matter who is doing your makeup. so have a test. i had a tear of michelle williams hair and makeup at the oscars 2006 and kick myself for not doing it.

i would also have definitely hired a videographer to shoot the ceremony, my sweet stepmom bought a video camera and shoved it in the hands of my unwitting stepbrother. poor thing. sharkpig wasn't available then - but i look at almost every single thing he does and it makes me just so happy for the couples who have videos by him (and a little bit jealous.)

now that i have my daughter, i would have spent more time picking items that i could hand down to her. my dress closed the spring 2007 Nicole Miller runway show and is pretty beautiful but i think i could have done better (is that awful?) i chose wedges so that i could walk up the hill (we married at a beautiful, remote location that you had to hike to get to) if i could do it again, i'd say balance be damned and picked the coolest shoes.

and pie in the sky, i would have taken this old farmhouse that was shipped from appalachia to california and plunked it down where we had the ceremony (san juan islands) for the reception. i went to a wedding there recently and it was a truly magical venue.

last but not least, everyone told me and somehow i still didn't listen - i would have spent more time with michael instead of worrying about making everyone else happy. that day was for us. it's easy to lose sight of that.

1. jamie beck for cup of jo, 2. miu miu, 3. michelle williams courtesy of fairchild archive via brides, 4. miu miu by jak & jil for style.com via the cherry blossom girl, 5. figueroa farmhouse by kevin charlie

(catch up with the rest of the "if i were to get married now..................." series here.)

speaking of big ol ballerina buns.....

This one is excellent.

Photos by James Moes via Ruffled® (with a big thank you to Kristyn!)
______________________________

Watch where you use the word "ruffled," mkay? THAT SHIT IS TRADEMARKED.

we interrupt pants week to bring you....

A hair update!!

Thanks for all your advice - I went for the duh option of a big fat bun! I did try doing the SJP things with a giant bun on the top of my head but on the morning it all went pearshaped and I felt a bit like I'd have to duck down walking through doors it was so crazy high! Thankfully my super talented Mom was able to save the day!

Is it ok to still be addicted to your blog now that I'm no longer engaged?!!!

OBVIO.

more barrettes PLEEZ. and thank you.

Inspired by The Curve of Forgotten Things, a short film directed by Todd Cole in collaboration with Rodarte The Queens of the Barrette (and starring Elle Fanning), fieldguided put together a terrif French barrette round-up.

If you can't have one that's hand-carved and sprayed in gold (or are they HAND-CARVED OUT OF GOLD?) go with something tortoise shell-y for sure.

No Swarovski Crystals. Ever.

(Images via NOWNESS via fieldguided via Jazzy McG)