Thursday, December 19, 2013


This Acne is excellent. And it's 100% SILK.

I'm also digging this Wang (50% off!).

Well shopped, ladies.

just sitting here at my dad's house in the woods, wearing the same flannel shirt going on three days in a row, drinking coffee and blogging about minimalist wedding garb.

what are you up to?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Speaking of sack dresses.* (Sort of.)

Hello ESB,

I just received an email from Barney's telling me the super chic dress that I was planning to wear at my Jan 2, 2014 civil ceremony in San Francisco is sold out!

This dress [pictured above] is pretty much perfection to me.

Everything else I find that's made with quality natural fibers is either too short or a boring sheath dress that is way overpriced.  All the more interesting dresses I find are made of polyester and even more overpriced.  

Do you have any suggestions?  I work all day and have very little time to online shop, much less to actually go to brick and mortar stores.  

My sweet fiance has been looking on etsy for me, but I don't want to wear something that looks obviously bridal that I will only want to wear once. 



Let a little viscose into your life.

Exhibit A : Helmut Lang

Exhibit B : Alexander Wang


*In case you missed the SACK DRESS CONTROVERSY, check out the comments over here.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Nah to Lasagna


I am just beginning the process of wedding planning and I am stuck on finding a venue (duh, right?) Anyway, I am torn between picking a venue that has an all-inclusive package type deal or a venue that will require me to piece-meal shit together. So far, the one all-inclusive I have looked at seems a little janky and like we might have to be like "uh we don't want your weird lasagna tho" and then they'll be like "well fine but it's like $2000 extra then, guys." 

Any thoughts on pros and cons of the two different situations? I want the whole thing to be as simple as possible, really, but I also don't want it to be gross.

Thank you,
Nah To Lasagna


Pick Any Two:

[  ] As simple as possible

[  ] As cheap as possible

[  ] Good

Rachel Rutt By Bec Lorrimer For Yen (November 2011) via Le Fashion — Anyone know who did the collage?

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Non-cheesy first anniversary present?

I get that buying a present for your spouse is deeply personal and you can't really give someone advice, blah blah blah. But I am looking for inspiration for a non-cheesy first anniversary present for my husband.

I like the idea of following the traditional gifts -- paper for year one, but the best ideas on the internet are 1) buy tickets to a sporting event so your man will remember you totz get him, 2) make a dumb craft project with maps of places you have lived, or 3) write a love letter every day of your first year of marriage (too late, and where would you hide 365 love letters in a studio apartment anyway?).

There must be something better. Thoughts?


Is he a word person? A visual person? A food person?

What is his very favorite object?


He is a serious word person. Mostly history but also comic books (he got some unlimited online subscription and is now working his way chronologically through esoteric old series). Loves food, especially barbecue. 

Favorite object would probably be a tie between his grandfather's Danish rocking chair and our spherical ice cube molds.


So basically he's awesome. And (irrelevant here) a whiskey drinker.

I say find a first edition of a book he loves. Does anyone know where to shop for such a thing?

Pink Package by Maira Kalman

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Look who didn’t bother taking my advice

She bought the fugly Alexander McQueens and also a blue pair from Lauren Marinis and she looks pretty stoked about it, so what the eff do I know?

(Photos by Craig + Kate. See tons more + all the dets over on Rock My Wedding.)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


Dear ESB,

I've just today had a wedding reception etiquette grenade thrown at me and I don't know what to do. I'm looking to you for your grand wisdom!

The situation: An old friend of mine and his girlfriend split up around the time that I was asking for addresses to send Save the Dates (about 9 months ago). I asked if he was certain he didn't want a plus one in case things changed between them and he said no, he definitely, definitely did not. They've been on and off for years so at that point I pretty much disregarded what he said and assumed they'd be back together. Months later I sent him his invite proper. When he didn't get back to me long after the RSVP date I got in touch to chase him and again asked if the situation had changed and if he needed a plus one. He said no, it was unlikely it would change as it had been 6 months. So I made the decision to pass his notional plus one to another guest...

You can see where this is going right? Fast forward to today and he sent an email to me and our wide circle of friends to announce that not only are he and his ex back together, but that they are also engaged. Whilst I'm happy for him, I'm also kicking myself for not keeping his space free. I feel like a small voice is singing 'told you so' inside my head. 

He hasn't said anything about my own wedding yet, but at some point we'll have to acknowledge that she hasn't been invited. And we're going to have to have a very awkward conversation. I wish I could make room (I'm used to organising dinners and receptions for work, so I'm used to jiggling around seating plans and dealing with invitee crises!) but we simply have no room left to add another person.

Really don't know how to address this with him because his fiancée is so lovely and I don't want her to feel slighted. Or even to be reminded that for a while she didn't figure in the plans for not particularly nice reasons. 

Thoughts on how I can manage this pretty awkward situation would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Not-so-good-with-confrontation Bride.


All you can do is be upfront. (You're British, aren't you. So this will be a new experience.)

Call your friend and say “I’m so so happy for you guys. And I’m kicking myself for not saving you a plus one.”

That's it. End of dilemma. Grenade defused.

Edie Campbell by David Sims for Vogue Paris December 2013 via visual optimism 

Monday, December 9, 2013

SEEKING: a short/long dress for a Belgian bride

Dear esb,

You must be fed up with those dress questions but I try my chance. i have had the idea for a while of having a short dress with a long transparent skirt. I am quite short and I think it would be the most flattering. What do you think of the idea? 

I found that one from Temperley [pictured above] but it is sold out so need to find something else...


Here it is in sizes 2 & 6 (UK 6 & 10). Buy that sucker!!!

Friday, December 6, 2013

Weird, Wonderful Holiday Mix from Dart DJ

I meant to get up bright and early to post this for you all..... But I went to the Dart DJ holiday party last night and then to Footsie's and drank waaaaaaay too much whiskey and also some really grody stuff I don't remember the name of that Elizabeth claims is the new Jagermeister.

Now my head hurts.


Click here for your weird, wonderful holiday mix from the Dart DJ boys. Which is actually not very holiday. It's mostly just a great, weird collection of covers and lesser-known versions of popular songs. (Even if Elvis's "Crawfish" drives you nuts, stay tuned for Hot Chip covering Joy Division!)

BONUS: If you're cheaping out on the dj for your wedding, Dart has a bunch more mixes over here. The Flashdance also mixes a mean mix.

Photo from last night by Michelle of Rad + In Love

Hey Mister DJ.... Will you organize my crappy playlist?


When it comes to our wedding my guy and I have very clear priorities. Food, food and food. We're renting out one of our favorite restaurants and throwing what we hope is a great dinner party stuffed to the gills with love.  

There will be a couple of hours following dinner where people can sit and talk or go into the courtyard for dancing. We don't want a DJ. The last thing we want is a stranger in a satin vest yelling at our elderly relatives to get funky. There are fantastic, magical DJs who can integrate seamlessly into a party but as I said earlier our budget priority is the food and those unicorn DJs don't come cheap. We have a dear family friend acting as casual MC and a cousin who will man the laptop with the music as his gift to us. 

Are there any DJs I can pay a flat fee for organizing our play list? We have a random play list and I'd like to pay someone to organize it so that the music balances heating up and slowing down, that genres aren't clumped together and the end finishes with a great set of songs that work well together.  I not very into music so I don't trust myself to make it cohesive.

Thanks in advance for your help.


I asked my friend Jesse of Dart DJ, “What would you do if someone asked you to organize her playlist? Tell her to eff off?”

Here's his response:

I would probably say that "organizing" a playlist without physically being there to assess the crowd, room and mood of the event is kind of like a baseball player stepping up to the plate blindfolded and hoping to hit a home run. It could happen but the much more likely conclusion would be a total disaster. Honestly, every wedding we do is so different in terms of crowd, size, mood and set length that it would just be irresponsible of us to take money for this sort of thing. I would never recommend it. The only thing we do for people is sometimes provide a cocktail playlist. Since we are just setting a mood, sometimes this can be done with a good deal of accuracy. Hope this helps!

p.s. (from me) What is a "casual MC"? And WHYYYYEEEEEEE?

p.p.s. Stay tuned for a weird, wonderful holiday mix crafted especially for us by Dart DJ.

Photo courtesy of the world wide webs. Let me know if you know who took it.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

It's Been Too Long Since You've Had Turquoise Rings Up


Brilliant Earth has not one, not two but THREE antique turquoise rings up right now. Please make this known so someone snarky can purchase them!!!


P.S. Single, engaged, left-months-away-from-the-altar, grieving-and-single, happy-and-single, and happy-and-taken…I've kept reading through it all. Thanks for that.


Also digging this one from Metier [pictured above]

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Engagement Is Off


I wish I was writing to you with questions about how to handle a horrible FMIL or a dress dilemma. Unfortunately, after a 6 year relationship and then a year of being engaged, my fiancé called off our wedding.

Backstory: We had started dating when we were 17 years old during our senior year of high school. We made it through 4 years of long distance (we went to different colleges, states apart) during which one of those years I spent studying abroad in Europe. Throughout our relationship, we grew up together as we both grew into adults and I continued to fall in love with him, and I truly believe he continued to fall in love with me. Even after all is said and done, I don’t doubt what we had was real. I returned home after college and we could finally begin living our lives together. About two years later, he proposed.

We didn’t have major cracks in our relationship. We had broken up twice during college, but I sincerely chalk those up to being young and trying to juggle a serious relationship, all the while figuring out who you are. I knew what our issues were but I always believed our strengths outweighed our weaknesses. But of course, there is a reason we ended up where we are. Sadly, it turns out he was not the person I thought he was. When life got even remotely difficult, he chose to run away instead of deal with things. When I first started dating him in high school, his brother once came up to me and said “you know he lies, right?” Since I was a little thrown off by the bluntness, I laughed it off. It took me seven years to realize it was not a laughing matter.

So my question ishow do you pick up the pieces once it falls apart? How do you start to untangle where your relationship ends and you begin? After seven years I feel as if my identity is so intertwined with his. I figured your no nonsense attitude might help a bit.

The almost-bride


I brought in an expert on this one. An anonymous reader/writer who has been through the same wringer.

Welcome to the tribe, dear heart. You will know us by the trail of super-depressing Tumblrs. 

May I say first that I think you have done the most difficult work of all: the parsing of the good from the bad in your relationship, the keeping of the sacred. Three years out of my epic breakup and I'm still struggling with that. But bitterness is easy. You have a wild, open, generous heart. This is an immense gift. 

As for advice, shucks. I don't know. One of the worst things people said to me was, "Well, at least you weren't married!" This made me want to punch faces. Loss is loss. Sure, we all know there's a hierarchy, but it doesn't help to be reminded of it. You had made the decision to be with him. That's enough. 

On the other side of the coin, one of the best bits of advice was this: He is not as capable of being in the world as you are. (My therapist told me that. You should get one, if you haven't already.) Coping with life, all of life, all of its glorious messiness, is a serious skill. You have that. He doesn't. Your world will be richer because of it.

You will be told, and often, that you can now do all the amazing, single-life things you have always wanted to do—chop off all your hair! move to New York! get a tattoo! get a cat!—and you should do all these things (I did), or whatever else your disastrously bloody heart tells you to do, but the difficult thing to reconcile is that there is likely no part of you in your new life that could not have existed in the old. Some relationships are stifling and restrictive, yes, but it doesn't sound like yours was. The truth is that you were not set free; you were abandoned. No amount of dancing alone across the moonlit beaches of Thailand will make that any less true. What you can do is embrace the things that make you YOU and dig deeper into them—not because you couldn't before, but because you need to put something in that space. All the wine tasting classes in the world won't fill it completely. Likely nothing will. Accept that this is a permanent wound. You didn't get the wedding ring. You got an empty apartment and some white-hot pain. There is nothing you could have done or can do to change that. So you put one foot in front of the other. "No feeling is final," Rilke said. And all the weird, brave things you love or think you might love or hope to someday love, the yoga classes and knitting socials and, eventually, dating apps and shy flirting on subway platforms, are at the very least moving you away from an old feeling, and into a new. 

Last, finally, always, the most important: Hold your friends close. Now closer still. Squeeze them until you think your body might melt into theirs. Aren't they the best? They really, truly are. 

I'm so sorry. 

(Enormous hugs to you both)

Karlina Caune by Victor Demarchelier for Antidote Magazine via wool&misc

Monday, December 2, 2013

ISO gypsy/Kate Bush/Priscilla Presley/goddess dress


I am looking for a wedding dress for a casual late autumn wedding that is some combination of gypsy, Kate Bush, Priscilla Presley, goddess? No debutante ball. No little girlishness. I like a lace shift dress with bell sleeves, but maybe some waist definition is better? In general I like lace, but maybe sequins? What if I wore gold sequins with like gypsy veil, jewelry...? Nonwhite is okay.

I want it to be above-the-knee, longish sleeved, regular bra compatible, of a breathable, non-synthetic fiber (THANK YOU for the synthetics hate!), open neck but no cleavage.

I am 5'4", 125 lbs, 30G, with awesome legs, thick arms, no waist, and a pooch. No immediately plans for brideorexia but you never know. JK. I'll probably work out a little.

Also I could be convinced otherwise, but I was being stubborn and self-righteous before about keeping it low budget. Like under $500?

Thank you,
Trying Not To Use Term Boho Luxe


Free People?


This is the best of the bunch. ($700 for "mixed yarn.")

Sunday, December 1, 2013


This puppy is 100% Polyester (and not particularly bra-friendly) but I don't even care. I'm into it.

(Thanks, Shari)

Monday, November 25, 2013

A wedding reflection

Dear ESB,

I had the task of writing myself a letter, which would be sent to me at an undisclosed time in the future (part of an arts/culture experience in my city). It was a few weeks after my wedding so I ended up writing to myself about the day, in a selfish attempt to keep it fresh in my mind and preserve the memory. This was about two months ago and I just received the letter back, and it was really lovely to read. 

I just wanted to recommend to any brides out there to write down their thoughts and feelings from their wedding day, and tuck it away for safekeeping. It might be that people already do this?! - but it was definitely worthwhile for me. While the photographs capture the details and the setting, the note helps to preserve what you were thinking and feeling. x

You got married to a wonderful man on the seaside in Cornwall a few short weeks ago. You were uncharacteristically relaxed on the morning of the wedding. B gave you a pill to help you sleep the night before. You felt it make your eyes go heavy, but your brain spun, not for too long though, and then you were asleep. In the morning everything went smoothly; you were the vision of calm. The bridesmaids were a great distraction and they made you feel spectacular. Remember that – you felt great, and calm, and ready. His eyes were welling up when you came down the aisle, and you could sense the overwhelming joy and pride in his gaze. Your heart beat a bit faster. You couldn't stop smiling. Your legs felt a little bit wobbly. You were nervous people would see them shaking slightly under your dress. You loved saying the vows, you loved staring into C’s eyes. It was the best moment. And the wedding was filled with so many wonderful moments. Being surrounded by friends and family. The way everyone cheered when you were announced into the reception room. Swirling around the dance floor to Stevie Wonder. Excitement and laughter.

This one seemed perfect for Thanksgiving week. xooo to all of you.

(Photo by Debs Ivelja)

Thursday, November 21, 2013

a vegas elopement in polaroids

I dig all the photos from Stephanie & Micah's lovely little Vegas wedding (see more over on their travel blog), but the polaroids? OH MAN THE POLAROIDS. 

Expired polaroids slay me every time.

A few words from Stephanie:

So our little story goes like this...

We're both from Australia, have been together for 8 years and just recently returned to Melbourne after 15 months of overseas travel. We were never really interested in getting married, but now that I think about it, it was just that we never wanted a wedding. When we began planning our way back home to Melbourne, it felt very right to get married as a beautiful way to end the year long travel adventure we shared.

The idea to wed in Vegas honestly started out as something we'd kind of joke about. However after we discovered Gaby Jeter (our wonderful photographer) and realised that Vegas has some pretty charming aspects to it, we couldn't imagine being married anywhere else.

Organising a wedding/ elopement/ private ceremony, whatever you want to call it, in Vegas wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, and actually a bit of a nightmare at times. After reading countless online reviews about the infamous Vegas chapels, that we only imagined would be really cute and kitsch (so wrong), we saw a recurring theme of people being scammed, and we kinda didn't want to be scammed on our wedding day, you know?

Being able to choose our own celebrant and ceremony location helped to keep the level of Vegas tacky-ness pretty low. Because neither of us had ever been to Vegas before, we relied on Google maps to help us find photo locations (like the gorgeous Tod Motor Hotel featured in our pictures) and then Gaby would confirm if the colourful mid-century buildings we liked were still standing.

All in all, I can't recommend eloping enough (Vegas or not). It's incredibly romantic, it's fun, and you get to spend the whole day with your beloved prancing around in beautiful clothes with (maybe) the biggest secret you've ever kept. Then you get to call your family and friends back home and share the beautiful, happy news. Our parents and a couple of others did already know - couldn't quite do that to them!

Now that we're back home, we're having a little party to celebrate our marriage - minus any wedding stress. Just an opportunity to wear my dress again(!) and celebrate with our nearest and dearest.

- Stephanie & Micah

Dets on Stephanie's attire + her unanswered Dear ESB are over here if you missed em.


look who didn't need any help

July 8, 2013

Dear ESB,

My boyfriend and I are eloping to Vegas in two months time and we're very excited! Before everyone shudders at the thought, we are getting married by an officiant in the desert under an old tree. We originally loved the idea of an old Vegas chapel, until we read all the terrifying reviews.

We have found a great photographer that takes photos only on film and are going to be taking some shots around various mid-century style locations in Vegas and also in the Nevada desert.

Because we are eloping nobody knows and therefore my sisters and girlfriends can't help me in terms of my outfit, makeup and hair. So I'm counting on the sisterhood of ESB - please help me!

This is my dress [pictured above] (except I will be wearing a white slip underneath). I know it's going to be boiling hot, but it's going to be hot regardless of what I wear.

My flowers are going to be a bunch of white daisies. These have been ordered already.

Now for the things I have no idea what to do:

I was thinking for shoes white, pointed heels, like this but where do I find something like this that doesn't cost the earth? Also open to other suggestions for shoes that don't look like this... (I don't like my toes however, so maybe no open-toe suggestions)

I have straight, medium length brown hair...any suggestions for a hair style? 
I've absolutely no idea.

And for make-up, I want to keep it all quite romantic and natural, no red lips.

Thank you in advance!!

- Secret bride


Nov 11, 2013

How did you accessorize???


Nov 11, 2013

hello :)

I wore white patent leather pumps by Marc Jacobs, Satomi Kawakita tiny pearl studs (from Catbird) and that was it!


Photo by Gaby Jeter (with more to follow!)

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

speaking of ebay....

Should I repair my favorite favorite favorite but overly-shredded pair of boyfriend jeans thusly? (I'm not even joking about this.)

I could also run them over a few times and hopefully pick up a little grease off the street. (That is a joke.)

And then I would probably have to rock em with black stilettos so as not to look like a hobo. (Not joking.)


I am this close to dropping $420 on eBay* and buying one for our porch.


The timing isn't ideal, what with me being not-so-employed right now........ Will someone else pls buy it so I can't?

(Photos by Laure Joliet for The Animal Print Shop via Anne Sage)


*Update: This one's not vintage. I don't want it. Which, PHEW.

Monday, November 18, 2013


Dear ESB,

Please help a pants-lovin' lady. I am wearing these beige silk pants to my wedding. I love them but am worried about looking too casual even for my outdoor-picnic kind of wedding. I am wearing some killer heels with them (obvs), but what top should I wear to kick this into fancy mode?

Also, pants week was amazing but so long ago. I want more?


With you in mind, I just did a pants-loving bride post for A Practical Wedding. I even stole your phrase.

My choices may or may not be TOO STYLISH for the APW crowd, but I think you'll dig em. (Pay special attention to all the sexy sleeveless tuxedo-y tops.)

Frida Gustavsson by Hasse Nielsen for Vogue Germany December 2013 via This Is Glamorous

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A wedding reading for an introvert

When one has been at great pains for half one's life to secure independence for one's self, as I found it necessary to do, one has to accept the disadvantages of the situation as well. One cannot have the one without the other. 

Among these disadvantages is the fact that no one can tell from appearances what are the things I lack... [If I were to marry] I require (1) Some one to superintend my digestion, (2) Somebody who can laugh with me and who has cheerful spirits, (3) Some one who is proud of my company and who constrains others to treat me with becoming respect, (4) Some one who can read aloud to me without making a book sound idiotic. 

It is precisely we solitary ones that require love and companions in whose presence we may be open and simple, and the eternal struggle of silence and dissimulation can cease. Yes, I am glad that I can be myself, openly and honestly with you, for you are such a good friend and companion... 

Though I may seem at times somewhat distant from you, through the gray mist of my own moods, I am never far; my thoughts always circle around you. 

—Friedrich Nietzsche

Says our lovely, anonymish friend:

It was a mashup of a few different passages, and it seems long but clocked in at just under 2 minutes. Since the letters were written in the first person, I opted to read them myself. I never would've guessed those words would be what moved me to tears!

Note: The words pictured above belong to Nietzsche, but they are different words. Beginning something like, "Smooth is is a paradise / For those who know how to dance."

[CENSORED] the Follow Up!

Hi ESB, 

Remember me? [I do remember you! But I'm not linking to your Dear ESB because let's not get you in trouble.] I just wanted write you with updates (and pictures!) about our wedding. 

It. Was. Fucking. AWESOME. 

FH (now H!) and I decided to use my mother's $3,000 gift along with our own money to put on the wedding WE wanted and could afford. This meant that our May 2014 date got pushed up to October 2013, as I had initially wanted, and we also opted to have an after-wedding dinner at a local restaurant instead of a formal reception. We also decided to use a portion of the money towards a 'pre-honeymoon' and spent three days before the big day alone, exploring our in-between city of Charleston, South Carolina, and enjoying each others company before our families and friends arrived. 

Our wedding was quiet and intimate, with a whopping grand total of 50 guests. Everything went as planned, so much so that for the first part of the day I was actually waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was especially anxious about how things would go with [CENSORED] and the dinner plans. But after I was dressed and preparing to walk down the aisle, I took a deep breath and decided to let whatever was going to happen, happen... and it turns out that that included choking up and crying like a baby halfway through the ceremony as I did my wedding reading, an excerpt from "Selected Letters of Friedrich Nietzsche." 

People always say that weddings are communal events, and ours definitely would not have been possible without the help of our family and friends. My grandmother officiated the wedding, our amazing friend Luc took the pictures, a close friend acted as impromptu wedding coordinator, and [CENSORED] my in-laws graciously paid for our wedding dinner! Your amazing advice coupled with that of your amazing commenters about [CENSORED] was completely correct. So thank you!

[CENSORED] Now That The Wedding Is Over


So much to you, Ladyfriend.

I actually started crying when I first opened your email.

(Photos by Luc Alexandre)

Monday, November 11, 2013

looking for a dress like THIS

Hey ESB,

I'm sure you're totally bored with dress questions but I'm wondering if you and your amazing readers could help me out on my search?

I am looking for a wedding dress that is simple, inexpensive, but with a natural waist and a full skirt. I'm not talking poufy, just enough volume to define my waist.

Our venue is very modern and all white, so I'm thinking my dress should also be pure white (or another color) as opposed to ivory, which I'm afraid would look yellow against the white in pictures.

This is my dream dress in every way, but it's $12,000 and I would rather spend $1,200, well, less, preferably:

I don't normally love lace but the Houghton is so modern and structured! Sigh. I'm at a loss. Any suggestions on similar dresses or any white dresses with my desired shape? Custom isn't an option for me locally, unfortunately.


Out of ideas.



I'm alive, b/t/w. Just feeling even lazier than usual. Last week I was in a mad push to meet a grant deadline. And then I met it. And now I'm in the very important fucking-around-until-I-figure-out-what-my-next-project-is phase.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Still not sick of ring questions..?

Hello esb

I'm recently engaged and looking for a ring. I went through your whole "rings" tag and love your style so I thought I'd ask you: are there any cool opal rings? That aren't itty bitty stacking rings, but also don't look like they arrived this morning from 1985? I don't know if I just have bad luck, but I didn't think it would be this hard to find an opal ring I liked. The only parameters I have are that it be yellow or rose gold and that it be pretty and modern and not tiny or surrounded by 10000 diamonds (or, really, any diamonds at all). And that it not be a weird cluster of opals. 

I didn't think this would be some kind of unicorn hunt. Is it just the nature of the opal to be used in really cheesy settings?

Please don't say "don't get an opal it will break."

(also, if I can piggyback a question for your readers - I liked your Chicago travel guide, but do you or your readers know of anyplace in the Chicago area to look for cool rings, à la Catbird, Erie Basin, etc? not necessarily opals :) )


Does it have to be OPAL? Opals are fugg.

What about moonstone?


Moonstone is awesome. Opals being fug is my problem! I have what must be the ONLY pretty opal ring in the world, and it makes me want another, but I am having NO LUCK. Something about opals just makes them want to be in ugly shapes, settings...


I included this rainbow moonstone (pictured above) in a roundup I just did for Barneys.

In light of recent events, you may or may not want to patronize them.*

*Should we be boycotting Barneys AND Macy's? I honestly don't know how to respond. But I will be spending that $200 gift card the Barneys PR team sent me as a thank you.

Monday, November 4, 2013


also: wedding bikes are so 2009

(via bhldn)

I'd rather eat glass

Dear ESB

Clearly I adore you, since I have never tiptoed near marriage and yet read your blog like an obsessive preteen. You are my guru, and as such, I'm hoping you can guru me out of this. 

To sum up: I spent 8 years with a guy who, 3 years ago now, decided to go suddenly sociopathic. He stopped coming home at night, stopped taking my calls, and put a pin in things, finally, by sleeping with his best friend's girlfriend. We haven't spoken since I fled the city where we lived. 

It was ugly. And despite the time that has passed, I'm still trying to figure how it's possible to know someone and then not know them in such a violent way. I'm getting better, but I'm still single, and it doesn't feel nice to think about. 

Here's the rub: Since we were together for so long, I became very close with his family and especially his younger sister. As the ex ceased speaking to both me and her during his meltdown, she and I became even more enmeshed. I love her deeply, and in some ways I took over the role of older sibling. And now she's getting married. 

I knew this was coming, and had sort of prepared myself for the thought of looking super hot and taking some banging date and going to the wedding and celebrating her and the love she's found and letting it all wash over me, but when I got the Save the Date, I could feel my heart in my mouth and wanted to puke it out. Suddenly, the reality of being at a wedding with his whole family and seeing him - with the best friend's girlfriend, who is now HIS girlfriend - felt pretty much like a worse alternative to eating shards of glass. 

And so - what to do? I hate the idea of not being there. I hate that I could make the day dramatic. I hate myself for still letting him have this control. I hate that he is taking one more thing away from me. I hate the thought of disappointing her. But when I imagine myself in that space, I want to crawl under the earth. 



It's okay not to go.

Iggy Azalea by Harper Smith for Paper Mag (October 2013) via Fashion Gone Rogue via kelly edmonson