Lowe House Creative Comes to LA! (Sponsored Post)

Elizabeth of Lowe House Creative is back on ESB with some very excellent news for LA brides (and LA vendors!): She's expanding her business.

I'm a sixth generation Northern Californian, but I have always loved Los Angeles, and I'd always had this thought in the back of my mind that when it came time to expand my business beyond the Bay Area, LA would be the place. And that thought kept nagging and nagging, and I was slowly doing research, and dragging my feet in an I'm-already-too-busy kind of way, and then this summer my best friend told me he was moving down there. It was the sign I needed to just do this shit. So, hey LA! I'm so excited to spend more time in you. 

I've written here before about why the f*ck you need a wedding planner/coordinator, but now I want to talk about why you specifically need a Lowe House planner/coordinator.

My team and I care a ton about our clients, and we project manage the shit out of their weddings. Yep. If you ask me, I'm a project manager, and my projects just happen to be weddings. But my clients are always the most important thing. Always. Ultimately, I'm not invested in whether or not your wedding is blog-worthy, or whether or not I like your colors or your bridesmaids' dresses or your choice of centerpieces (though my background is in fine art & interior design, and I would loooove to pore over paint swatches and flatware patterns and floral samples with you if you're into that). What I am invested in is simple: that my couples are happy with their weddings, and that they are able to enjoy their weddings, because they know I'm on top of shit, and I always have their backs, and I am going to make sure that the day unfolds just the way they imagined it would. 

It may also be worth mentioning that we're not the right planners/coordinators for every client. I define my style as "extremely casual and highly professional." I favor loud nail polish, I tend to swear more than I should, and while I have actually mastered the French Twist, the majority of the the time my hair is down. But my timelines make other vendors weep with joy, I have a knack for spotting most problems before they happen, and I am totally unflappable in the face of the world's most overbearing mothers. I have amazing relationships with the other vendors I work with because of all of these things -- they know I'm going to be super on top of stuff, which makes their lives infinitely easier, and also I'm fun to hang out with. Referrals from other vendors are my largest source of new clients, which is apparently not common in this business. That said, I will not hesitate to go to bat for my clients if necessary, no matter who the vendor is or how much business they've sent me before (this is the main reason I have a strict no-kickback policy -- it has to be clear at all times that my clients are my #1 priority).

I got a thank you note from a client last week that actually made me cry (and I'm not a crier). I won't bore you with the whole thing, but it began: "We cannot imagine our wedding without you. We hired a reputable wedding planner/coordinator/guru, and ended up with the raddest wedding planner/coordinator/guru and friend." And that, right there, is exactly why I do this. I work like a crazy person most of the year, but when, at the end of a 14-hour day, my clients, their parents, and their friends come up to me and hug me and thank me for making the day great? That's my kind of high. 

So! If you're an LA-based wedding vendor (or venue owner, or just generally rad person) please get in touch -- I'd love to buy you coffee, or a drink, and chat about the city and the crazy, awesome world of weddings. I'm working actively on expanding my vendor list down there, and always looking for more people I can feel good about recommending.

And if you're an LA-based potential client? Definitely get in touch. We're starting to get booked up for 2014, but I've been saving some slots specifically for LA clients, so grab them before they're gone! I'll be down there every 4-6 weeks for the next little while, because I always prefer to meet people over tables instead of internet connections. 

I'm so excited to see what kind of radness I can cook up with clients in Los Angeles. I'm excited about new venues, that gorgeous, smog-filtered LA light, and the fact that I will finally be able to suggest the In-N-Out truck for late night food (why oh why can't get we get the trucks up here!). I know LA and I are going to have some fun together. 

A + N's effing gorgeous California wedding

The beaming bride, the kick-ass dress, the California light.... These photos from Rad + In Love are slayin me this morning.

And Alejandra is so laid back about it all. D'you think I can take a teeeeeensy bit of credit?

Here's what she had to say:

I have such a hard time talking about my own wedding because it was a culmination of so many different story lines. It's hard to pick out one thread without unravelling the whole tapestry. I'll share a few wedding highlights in lieu of a full story.

The beginning:
My day began unintentionally early (before 7am!) because I just couldn't sleep anymore. All I could think about were my vows. My perfectionist self was literally dreaming about the words I would say, so I just got up and started to write them. I didn't even end up saying what I'd written, but it didn't matter. I could write new vows every day forever and I'd still never be able to capture everything. I realized that morning that it was ok not to get it all in one shot. We will keep reworking and living those vows out until the end!

When it hit me:
I didn't feel like anything huge in my life was changing since I had already been living with Nick for almost four years. However, little moments throughout the day kept reminding me that the party was happening -- now! I especially like remembering the moment I walked into the bathroom after dinner. As the door swung open, I saw my girlfriends for the first time that day and I instantly screamed like a teenage girl. I was overwhelmed with all the excitement and love.

Our wedding team:
We were lucky to be surrounded by an awesome group of people. I cannot recommend any of them enough. Indulge me as I share a little bit about them.

- Photographers: Rad + In Love
These ladies are outrageously talented, but they're also down-to-earth and will go the distance to capture your day. Seriously, an amazing team. At one point, Michelle jumped on her car roof to get the right angle, it caved in, and she just kept on shooting! We love them to death!

- Wedding planner extraordinaire: Allie Shane from Pop the Champagne
Words cannot express enough how dedicated and bad-ass Allie is. She provided the muscle for a wedding planned in three months from across the country (while we were also buying an apartment and moving; getting a new job; and taking night classes). When all we wanted to do was avoid decision making and fall asleep, she kept us moving forward. Without her, I would still be planning. Allie's secret is that she knows when to hold your hand, when to direct, and how to make it all fun.

- Venue: The Annenberg Community Beach House
Our Annenberg coordinator, Carol, worked closely with Allie to make our day totally seamless. She was delightful to work with and the venue was spectacular.

- Florist: Floret Cadet
Since we love flowers, but were too far across the country (and by this point in the planning process, running out of money) to dream too big, we needed someone we could trust to take a couple ideas and just run with them. From the moment we met Kate we knew we were in good hands. We left her to surprise us on the day and she did in the best way possible.

- DJ: Sean Osborne
So charming, kind, and he kept the party going! Sean was totally focused on making sure Nick and I got what we wanted in our playlist and on the wedding day. Right after our ceremony, as Nick and I took a moment to just be alone, he played a little song for us to dance together. It was really touching.

What I would do over:
I would sleep a whole lot more that week and I would eat a huge breakfast. That would've rocked.

Unexpected:
We had originally daydreamed about having my sister and her whole band, The Del-Reys, perform, but that was logistically difficult. Instead, I was genuinely surprised when my sister got up to sing right after the toasts. She performed a killer a cappella rendition of "Si Nos Dejan" (I used to have a mariachi band in college) and then led everyone in singing "You've Got a Friend" together. It was such an awesome gift that she would still sing to us without any music in front of the whole room.

My favorite:
During the rehearsal the day before, I worried that our ceremony would be an unprepared disaster. So much planning had gone into the weekend, but we had very little set in stone for the part that was most important to us -- the ceremony. The morning of, I let it all go and rolled with the day. The ceremony ended up being beautiful.... 

In retrospect, it was just like every decision we made for our wedding. It didn't matter exactly what we did, everything ended up being a reflection of something Nick and I were building together. That made it perfect. The fact that the sun was shining and birds were chirping as Nick shared his vows was just crazy luck.

The ending:
I had told myself in advance to take a moment during the last dance to soak it all in. I'm so glad I did. I got to see those who were left all together on the dance floor enjoying themselves. The feeling of love was all around and I was so filled with happiness at that moment.

The real ending:
We got legally married at New York City's Marriage Bureau a week after we returned from our honeymoon on Kauai. Throughout the whole engagement, I had been torn between a courthouse wedding and a personalized ceremony. We ended up being so busy before leaving for our wedding in LA that we never got a California marriage license. The courthouse was a blast and I'm so glad we accidentally got both ceremonies. All dreams (unintentionally) fulfilled!

*****

Q: Have you ever seen a smile that big?

A: No, no you have not.

♥

Photos by Rad + In Love. (Go check out tons more images from this wedding over on the Rad + Love blog.)

p.s. Recognize the dress? Alejandra left that model in the DUST.

Planning From Abroad

Dear ESB,

I think I read somewhere that you’re based in LA, which led me to want to leech off of your extensive knowledge and awesome taste.  I’m currently planning a wedding in LA – while living abroad. My family in the area isn’t likely to be a ton of help (lost jobs, medical emergencies, other weddings to plan). FH and I are paying for this ourselves, in part to avoid his manipulative parents. Unfortunately, planning from the interwebs, I feel like all of the vendors and venues I see are of the marked up variety. FH is convinced we can get food and venue for $5k, and I’ve assured him we’ll be lucky to get it for closer to $10k. This is causing stress, obviously.

The other problem I’m having is that I’m picky, and we both have very modern/city taste (clean lines, bold statements, a certain amount of minimalism). But, wedding resources exist primarily to sell STUFF, so they seem to naturally feature lots of stuff – favors, stir sticks, custom matchbooks, table runners, things stuffed in mason jars, “vintage” this, “rustic” that, “bohemian” whatever. For me this creates a lot of noise and chaos as I try to hone in on what I actually need. So, I guess what I’m asking is:

How do I figure out what I actually need for a medium-sized, modern-ish (maybe Bauhaus inspired without being themey?), budget wedding where there will be little-to-no opportunity for me to do craft projects with my besties? I’ve already gotten the memo on splurging for a good photographer to make everything look better. So far, all I can wrap my head around is venue and dress. From there, I know there needs to be food, copious booze, transportation… Do I have to do favors? When does minimalism just become uninviting and barren?

WHERE THE HELL DO I HOST THIS THING?!?!?! We’re agnostic, so not in a church clearly. Two-thirds of our guests will be flying in from places where they rely on public transit, so I break into hives thinking about forcing them to rent cars and then setting them loose on the LA freeways. We’re looking at restaurants, but the nice ones are expensive, and the cheap ones are hard to find. I don’t want to go toooooooo low key. If I believe wedding blogs, there’s no such thing as a wedding venue that would suit my needs within two hours of LAX. And really, a long drive to their hotel is really what guests need when they’ve just spent five plus hours to get there… Sorry, I have mini panic attacks over this.

Oh, but I totally share your love of air plants and am probs doing a big one as a bouquet.

Can you offer any advice for resources? I’m just feeling overwhelmed and powerless. The distance/time difference/inability to just show up and look at things is magnifying wedding stress.

Thanks,
Exasperated Expat

*****

I hate to say it, but you need a wedding planner.

Unless you are reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally low-key (and you're not, you're picky, which, yay! you should be, it's your wedding) you can't book a venue without seeing it. Without SOMEBODY seeing it. I mean, right?? And what you need depends a whole lot on the venue.

I'm actually sort of getting hives just reading your email.

Do a consult with Lowe House Creative, or put a service requested ad up on 100 Layer Cake. Buy yourself a little help.

And no, you do not have to do fucking favors. Have I not mentioned that recently enough?

Malgosia Bela By Greg Kadel For i-D Magazine, Summer 2012 via dirtyflaws

Why the f*ck do I need a Wedding Planner? (Sponsored by Lowe House Creative)

Confession: I'd never heard of Lowe House Creative until Elizabeth approached me about sponsorship.... But based on our rapid-fire, cheerful, INCREDIBLY EFFICIENT email correspondence, I'd happily recommend her to anyone.

Here's Elizabeth:

So, why the f*ck do you need a Wedding Planner or Coordinator? It's just an extra unneeded service that the wedding industry is trying to con you into spending money on, right? Well... not really.

OK, the truth is, you don't need a Wedding Planner. Weddings are by nature a kind of luxury (for the sake of this piece we're going to define "wedding" as not an elopement, or a restaurant meal following a courthouse ceremony, or a thrown-together-in-a-month barbecue, even though those are some of my favorite kinds of weddings), and hiring someone to help you plan your wedding is a luxury as well. A wedding is just a large (albeit special) party, and the truth is that anyone is capable of planning a party.

That said, you might want a Planner. Why? Here are just a few reasons:

1. You've never planned a big party and even thinking about it makes your head hurt. You literally have no idea where to start (pro-tip: start with making your guest list, the number of guests determines everything else), what your options are, where to find a caterer/venue/florist/DJ, what those people normally charge, if it's possible to have the type of wedding you want for the amount of money you want to spend, etc. A fair amount of my clients come to me after having been engaged for quite a while, because they kept getting stuck on one of the above, and finally just wanted to get the damn thing over with already.

2. Your family is difficult, wants super different things in a wedding than you do, and they don't take you seriously. A wedding planner can help convince your mother/sister/cousin-in-law/step-grandmother that actually, yes, the type of wedding you want is not only OK, it's been done before, people will love it, no problem you can actually fit this many people into this space/feed them food off a truck/only serve beer and wine/not toss your bouquet/whatever. You know why? Because we're experts. The type of family member who is going to fight with you about your wedding is also the type of family member who will probably listen to an expert the most.

3. You want to save money. A lot of wedding planners out there advertise that they will save you as much or more money than they will charge you. I won't make that claim. While I do end up saving the vast majority of my clients money, it's just too hard to quantify. Sometimes I save my clients money in really concrete ways: they use vendors I have relationships with who give them discounts,* or they use supplies that I have on hand. But many of the ways I save my clients money are less concrete: I'm able to negotiate contracts down with full knowledge of the industry behind me, tell clients when a particular service they're looking at is overpriced and suggest an alternative, suggest cheaper ways for achieving the aesthetic they want, or tell them where they can cut things that really don't matter. All potential giant cost savings, all hard to quantify.

4. You will (often) get better service from your other vendors. As one of my clients put it, "I'm never going to have another wedding, so these people will never get repeat business from me, and thus have very little incentive to go above normal service standards for me. You, however, have the ability to send them a ton of business if you like them, so it's in their best interest to really impress you." And it's true. Vendors are much more likely to give my clients amazing service because they want to maintain a good relationship with me.

Now, you can get by without a Wedding Planner, but you actually do need a Wedding Coordinator. You don't necessarily have to hire a professional, but you do need to appoint someone to be in charge of the big picture. The majority of my clients tend to fall into two camps 1) really organized, borderline control-freaks who know that if they don't put someone competent in charge they will try to coordinate their own wedding 2) people who really just want to have a good time, don't super care about all of the little things, and want to hand off responsibility to someone competent so that they can party.

Someone should be in charge of setting up, checking in vendors, making sure things generally run on time, that everyone gets fed, that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing, that everyone who needs to be paid gets paid, and that things get cleaned up and all of your stuff gets out of the building at the end of the night. 

And this is the thing: something goes wrong at every wedding. It's almost always something that can be fixed -- you run out of wine/cups/soda halfway through the reception, somehow the cake forks/boutonnieres/coffee/napkins don't make it to the venue, the power dies/toilet paper runs out/it rains/the chairs are set up wrong/your bustle rips out/your keys get locked in the car before the ceremony. These things are all fixable, but someone has to deal with them. And ideally that someone is not someone who will be seriously bummed to miss the first dance/toasts/cake cutting.

To finish, a note: if you are hiring a Planner or Coordinator, make sure they are someone both of you like and trust. The relationship between wedding planner and client is surprisingly intimate -- weddings combine three of life's most stressful things together into one big ball of wonderfulness: family, money, and societal expectations. Inevitably some of your personal insecurities and family drama are going to come out. When they do, you're going to want someone around who you feel comfortable with, and who you know has your back. 

And in the end, that is why I love my job -- yeah, I get to plan rad parties and be around lots of pretty things. But really? I get to help super awesome people be a little more sane, a little more relaxed, and have a little more fun while they're making and celebrating a major life step. It's pretty great.

(Photo by Gabriel Harber)
______________________________

*I have a policy of not taking kickbacks from vendors that is actually written into my contract. If a vendor gives my clients a discount for coming to them through me, my clients get that discount. I don't pocket it or even a portion of it. Not all wedding planners do this, so I'd recommend you ask any potential planner what their policy about this is before you hire them. 

Is it ok to sort of fire my wedding planner?

Dear ESB,

When we first started planning our wedding (2 years ago) we hired a wedding planner to ONLY help us find a venue. This was supposed to be a trial because we want a "day-of" planner. A friend of a friend recommended us to their friend. We started working with her and basically, she was no help AT ALL. We found the venue by ourselves.

Our wedding is coming up in 8 months and for months at a time she won't even respond to a "how are you?" sort of email. I've even asked her where we should send a check to pay for the venue "help" she gave us and she still hasn't told me. Sometimes she'll message me, wanting to meet. I meet with her, she promises to help with setting up appointments with caterers or florists but then falls through. She hasn't done anything that's helped us! But she still totally expects to be our "day-of" planner!

She just messaged me this week that she fell through because her aunt just passed away. I also found out (through the friend of a friend) that her boyfriend of over 5 years broke up with her. I understand that it must be a REALLY hard time for her and I've emailed her my condolences. I'm a BIG family person so I totally understand that family comes first.

But at the same time... I need someone that I feel is dependable to help us on the day of our wedding!

Is it ok to sort of let her go? How do you politely fire someone after they've told you that they're having such a hard time? I don't want to be a diva-bride-bitch. I feel really bad for her. Also, her prices are pretty much the same as anyone else and we haven't signed a contract. It was simply implied that we would use her. I had previously tried to tell her that we would no longer need her services but she didn't get the hint even though I was pretty blunt. So whatever way I try to fire her (if I even should) needs to be nice but still painfully obvious what's going on.

Thanks for the help,
The Lone Planner

*****

A wedding planner needs to respond to your email BEFORE YOU EVEN SEND IT.

Sorry, but come on.

Tell her you're seeing someone else. That's the only thing that ever works with men who won't get the hint.

YSL Coat Dress by Teri Chung via because im addicted

My unhelpful fiancé refuses to hire a wedding planner

Dear ESB,

I am in the middle of a crisis. I am a full-time student who works full-time and I am attempting to plan an intricate themed wedding, because my fiancé insists on having a faerie forest wedding. Strange? I know. I am fully behind it, if it is done well, and the only way I am going to be able to pull this off well is if I have some help. My fiancé has no real creativity or organization. All of my bridesmaids are out of town. I would like to hire a wedding planner, for partial planning services to give me a hand to make this event NOT A DISASTER.

Problem? My unhelpful fiancé refuses to have a planner because some random web reviews on planners gave him the impression that ALL planners are useless.

How do I get him to seriously consider this?

*****

Is this a trick question?

Tell your fiancé that if he wants a FAERIE FUCKING FOREST WEDDING he'd better hire someone to plan it for him.

Iris Egbers by Daniel Sannwald for The Sunday Times Style via John Paul Thurlow + Trendland