Look who didn’t bother taking my advice

She bought the fugly Alexander McQueens and also a blue pair from Lauren Marinis and she looks pretty stoked about it, so what the eff do I know?

(Photos by Craig + Kate. See tons more + all the dets over on Rock My Wedding.)

Headgear for an unweddingy dress?

Hi, ESB. 

Because you have impeccable taste, I thought I'd ask... 

I'm wearing this for our wedding (thanks to Net-a-Porter's unbelievable sale). I'll accessorize with nude or snake print heels, my great grandmother's heavy gold wedding bracelet, and delicate gold earrings and necklace, gifts from my partner. Since nothing about this getup says "bride" I'd like to wear something on my head. But what?

I have longish, dark, wavy hair and plan to wear it half up. I don't think a veil would work, though I do love fingertip veils with wide lace at the end. I generally despise those giant, poufy hat-like things all the rage since the royal wedding, most blusher or birdcage veils, and the boho flower crown look.

Ideas? I appreciate your help.

*****

Skip the headgear.

Take a tip from the all-time award-winning green-Gucci-wearing bride and just ROCK THAT DRESS.

(also: send photos. obvs.)

Sale Shopping? Wearing Color?

Dear ESB,

I'm not sure if there is a straight answer to these questions, but hopefully you and your fashion savvy readers can help:

Is there an ideal season in which to go dress shopping? I'm not getting married until Spring 2013, so I feel like I have a TON of time before I need to figure that out. However, it would be nice to save some money if there is a sale season on dresses. Does that even exist in wedding dress land? 

Also, I'm considering going with an untraditional skirt/top combo. Would shopping for those pieces out-of-season be my best bet on finding sales?

As for the untraditional: I'd like to add something colorful (a tropical print? a bright skirt?). Is there a fail-safe way of doing that without looking like a clown?? The attached examples are just to help me explain how I currently imagine incorporating color...

- An all-over light pink dress
- A white skirt and colored top
- A vibrant skirt and neutral top

Please let me know if this is a horrible idea so I can save myself the embarrassment and waste of time!

Thanks!
Clueless But Bright(ly Dressed)

*****

As my friend A put it, "To wear tropical prints without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while wearing tropical prints."

This wee bit of advice can be applied to ANYTHING, of course. Hangliding, buying lube at Rite Aid, approaching a group of enthusiastic young fellows at the Tiki Ti and asking them to recommend a cocktail.

To __________ without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while __________.



Anyhoo.

At top, a Pleated Flower-Print Skirt from Proenza Schouler. Perhaps to be worn with...

an Alexander McQueen Sheer Lace Blouse? Am I out of my mind??

Barneys, Bergdorf Goodman and net-a-porter are all having pretty decent sales at the moment. Go have a look-see.

If I were to get married now...................

from Chandra of Greer Chicago

Our wedding was a stripped-down affair with a finely-honed list of attendees that included myself, my husband Steve, Judge Hogan and a nice lady whose name I didn’t catch.

Steve and I had been long-time cohabiters when I decided to put a ring on it and proposed to him in mid-December. We set a date of January 12 because that was the fastest we could get all of the legalities taken care of. When we make a decision we like to get on with it.

Our wedding (appointment?) was scheduled for mid-afternoon so we both worked in the morning and met up in the lobby of my office, the Amoco building. At the appointed time I glided down the escalator in a humble grey sweater and grey wool skirt to meet my nervous betrothed in his shirt, tie and only pair of good slacks. He later told me he was scared I wouldn’t show up although that was unlikely since we were living together and I’d have to show up eventually. Maybe he thought I’d throw him over for a rousing discussion of oil shipments from Venezuela. Mmm hmm.

Anyway, we walked over to the Daley Center where Judge Hogan fixed us up. We’ll never forget him saying we seemed to be very much in love. Nor the other young bride and groom who were waiting outside his office and seemed to be very much in a hurry to get married if you catch my drift. I think Judge Hogan’s retired now, but for years, whenever he ran for reelection we affectionately voted for him. 

After the ceremony we celebrated at a long-gone restaurant, Randall’s for Ribs. We should have played it like that scene in “Tom Jones," but we kept it civil. We honeymooned in Paris but unfortunately it was about 4 months later.

When East Side Bride asked me to write about what I would do differently if I knew then what I know now I asked myself “Would you have a ‘real’ wedding?” “Would you still hang with Judge Hogan but throw a big party afterwards?” Honestly, the answer is “No” and “No.” I like how we got married. It’s a memory that only we will share and we think there’s something powerfully romantic about that. Neither of us likes being the center of that much attention, anyway.

HOWEVER.

If I had it to do over I would ramp up the fabulous factor, oh, about 10000%. 

1) First of all, I’d wait until the weather was warmer, perhaps late-May, so I wouldn’t have to celebrate my wedding anniversary in the dead of winter for the next fifty years.

2) I’d still go to work the morning of only because I love a good day into night challenge and this would be the ultimate -- from “Work to Wedding!” in just a few wildly-expensive steps!

3) I’d start with this dress by Michael Kors.

4) And just to keep the guys – and they were ALL guys – in check I’d demurely cover up with this jacket by Willow.

5) I like being on-time for meetings both professional and social so I think I’d need this Gucci watch.

6) Before the ceremony, I’d exchange these for this pair of Rene Caovilla t-straps.

7) I’d sprinkle these Marni crystals on the lapel of my jacket or maybe along the neckline of my dress.

8) And because I need a feminine pop of color I’d exchange my work bag for this Christian Louboutin clutch. I don’t know what I’ve actually done with my work bag but I can’t worry about that right now.

9) A simple black Alexander McQueen suit for my man, paired with a Lee Allison tie and a well-made Church’s brogue. And, yes, he’d wear these things, he likes to look sharp.

10) He’d be carrying a bouquet of pale blue roses from Suzanne Cummings for me (although the little Carnation-laden bouquet he actually gave me was very sweet).

11) We’d upgrade from ribs to a mind-blowing dinner at Alinea.

12) Followed by a night in a mind-blowing suite at Trump Tower and Hotels where we’d have a cake from Bittersweet Pastry waiting for us (we’ll need something that’s been frozen for a year to force down on our first anniversary.)

13) Finally, instead of sending out wedding announcements (which perhaps raise the expectations of gifts which we wouldn’t want) we’d write notes on lovely, heart-shaped Twinrockers paper to our family and closest friends telling them how much they mean to us and how we looked forward to continuing to share our lives with them as wife and husband. Despite the fact they weren’t invited to our wedding.

So that would be our nuptial extravaganza. Over the top, oh yeah, but this is all hypothetical anyway so what the hell. But 24 years later I can honestly say how we were actually married was just fine. More than fine. We’re still together, still in love and that’s what counts. Oh, and we’re going to Paris for our 25th wedding anniversary. In the dead of winter.

(Catch up with the rest of the series here.)

Here's a MULLET WEDDING DRESS for you

Embroidered duchess-satin by Alexander McQueen. Only $15zerozerozero*

(Just don't wear it with the matching shoes, okay?)

______________________________
*Actually, if you want to split hairs, it's $15,065