Yina Kim via D NS

Seeking: LA restaurant to get married in

Dear ESB:

We've been engaged for 10 months. During that time my fiance has lost his job, relocated to LA for work, I quit my job, packed up our crap and moved myself and our two cats from Chicago to LA to join him and now I'm studying for the bar exam.

I'm ready to just marry the guy, but with his lay-off earlier this year and my "studying housewife" status, I can't stomach the idea of spending a lot on a wedding.

From my research, LA weddings are $$$. I'd like to forgo the traditional ceremony/cocktail hour/reception/first dance/dj/bouquet toss/etc. and instead have a small wedding at an LA restaurant with some DANK food and then whoever wants can hit the town after dinner. My guest count can be limited to 30 people [if necessary], but I really want to keep it under $10,000.

Any suggestions for restaurants in the LA area?

I am eternally grateful!

*****

I'm throwing this one out to you guys…. I have not a clue.

p.s. wtf is DANK food? sounds nasty.


Some Pig by Donna McKenzie on etsy

Crashing with presents

Dear ESB,

I'm a crasher's +1 next weekend and I need a gift.

My best friend has been traveling the world for the past few months and is currently in Australia. He has decided to come back early and surprise his sister at her wedding. I'm his +1. Now, obviously as an attendant to this wedding, I will be consuming their alcohol and eating their food (aka $ spent on me), so what's something I could get as a repayment? My friend is at a 12 hour time difference and relatively cut off from communication (apparently there's not much wifi in the outback).

Since I don't know their registry, what's something that says, "Hey, thank you for the crab-stuffed chicken and the booze. Sorry you didn't technically invite me."? The bride and groom are pretty cool, like music, and are pregnant.

Thanks,
Uninvited +1

*****

You mean besides a salt bowl? (My favorite lucky wedding present of all time.)

I hate to give you the BORING answer, but wait until after the wedding. You don't need to bring a gift with you, and you can sleuth out where they're registered while you're there.*

HAPPY WRAPPING by Emma Hässel & Lina Salén

______________________________

*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee look at me! i'm still answering etiquette questions!

Blog of the Week(ish): Mr. Stofer

I have this friend who doodles a comic strip on her computer.

It's pretty excellent.

Dorothy Parker by Fernando Vicente Retratos

Is it ok to sort of fire my wedding planner?

Dear ESB,

When we first started planning our wedding (2 years ago) we hired a wedding planner to ONLY help us find a venue. This was supposed to be a trial because we want a "day-of" planner. A friend of a friend recommended us to their friend. We started working with her and basically, she was no help AT ALL. We found the venue by ourselves.

Our wedding is coming up in 8 months and for months at a time she won't even respond to a "how are you?" sort of email. I've even asked her where we should send a check to pay for the venue "help" she gave us and she still hasn't told me. Sometimes she'll message me, wanting to meet. I meet with her, she promises to help with setting up appointments with caterers or florists but then falls through. She hasn't done anything that's helped us! But she still totally expects to be our "day-of" planner!

She just messaged me this week that she fell through because her aunt just passed away. I also found out (through the friend of a friend) that her boyfriend of over 5 years broke up with her. I understand that it must be a REALLY hard time for her and I've emailed her my condolences. I'm a BIG family person so I totally understand that family comes first.

But at the same time... I need someone that I feel is dependable to help us on the day of our wedding!

Is it ok to sort of let her go? How do you politely fire someone after they've told you that they're having such a hard time? I don't want to be a diva-bride-bitch. I feel really bad for her. Also, her prices are pretty much the same as anyone else and we haven't signed a contract. It was simply implied that we would use her. I had previously tried to tell her that we would no longer need her services but she didn't get the hint even though I was pretty blunt. So whatever way I try to fire her (if I even should) needs to be nice but still painfully obvious what's going on.

Thanks for the help,
The Lone Planner

*****

A wedding planner needs to respond to your email BEFORE YOU EVEN SEND IT.

Sorry, but come on.

Tell her you're seeing someone else. That's the only thing that ever works with men who won't get the hint.

YSL Coat Dress by Teri Chung via because im addicted

my headache diary is a pret-ty good read

I was just paging through, making a lil note, and I thought I'd pull a few selects for you:

1/27/11

4pm Headach (sic) = 2

No reason.

2/7/11

Felt a little feverish today -- probs the drop from 50mg to 30mg
No headache until I ate a lollipop though. Now at 2

6/5/11

Stinky Cheese + Sun --> 3

6/17/11

Mint Choc Chip Klondike Bars --> 3

7/27/11

Drank two old-fashioneds, took pills late -- NO HEADACHE!!

8/6/11

5pm --> 4

Yoga or Blue Sno Cone?

I smell a book deal. 

Can anyone put me in touch with Maira Kalman?
______________________________

Have realized that on my scale of 1 to 10, I generally rate a pretty fucking sucky headache a 4. It has to get BAD for me to give it a 5/6. (Here's hoping I never make it to 8.)

aaaaaand here's the e-ring

I asked Sarah to write up a little post for us, since so many of you email me asking how to rock your vintage + non-traditional engagement rings with wedding bands.

My engagement ring isn't a traditional engagement ring and I was never really worried about having a matchy-matchy engagement ring/wedding band (the many jewelers I spoke with on my long search also confirmed my instincts- this is an age old tradition that would have no impact our marriage/future happiness whatsoever. phew.)

So when searching for a wedding ring i considered all options: simple bands, stackables, cocktails rings, other engagement rings, no ring at all...really, every ring I came across in my long search was fair game. But THE ring had to fit this bill: something I hadn't seen, something I could wear on the opposite hand of my engagement ring without looking like I was channeling Elizabeth Taylor (I love me some sparkle, but my engagement ring is already a blingfest), something fairly versatile, something that knocked my knickers off.

I loved the idea of a ring that I could stack other bands around (hello future anniversary presents!) but would still stand out as my wedding band. Most importantly, I wanted something that feels like me, the way my engagement ring does. And when I saw this ring I felt like Mocium had crawled inside my brain and designed this ring specifically for me. It took me less than 10 seconds to know it was the one.

The perfect response to this query, no?

Dear ESB,

I was relieved to see that aren't bored by ring questions, because they've been running through my head a lot lately. I'm planning to get a wedding ring to complement my lovely engagement ring. FH has been encouraging me to get something more flashy than the engagement ring, rather than a traditional gold band. That is exactly what I want to do, or at least what part of me wants to do. I'll admit it: I sometimes get quietly envious of girls with glittery, flashy diamond clusters on their rings. But I LOVE my engagement ring and how delicate it is, and don't want to overpower it.

I've never been much of a jewelry wearer and don't feel too confident in my judgment of what works well together and what doesn't. I've fallen for this ring (though it's well beyond my $1K price limit) but you can't really stack these, right? Either of these seem more stackable, but I still worry that the effect of the engagement ring would be lost.

Maybe just a thin, textured band is really the only appropriate way to complement it? Or should I choose whatever other ring that calls to me, and wear it on a different finger? (Is it silly for me to want to keep them both on the same finger, together forever?)

Alright, I guess that's enough links and questions for one email. Any ideas from you and your readers would be so, so welcome. 

*****

CHOOSE THE RING THAT CALLS TO YOU.

(fwiw, I stack two rings that absolutely do not go together, and I love em on the same hand.)

p.s. Check out Sarah's engagement story + more photos of her custom Marc Johns (hellloo) over here.

Pen + Ink Drawings by Sylvia Plath

On display at the Mayor Gallery in London, from November 2 to December 16.

Via Dangerous Minds. (See more images at the Telegraph.) 

Thx, 17 beats!

Blog of the Week(ish): The Burning House

If your house was burning, what would you take with you?

The Burning House is hands-down the most fascinating blog I've come across in forevs. Not only do you get a glimpse at people's favorite items of clothing, their most prized possessions, their PETS, you get a wee glimpse, not into the way they actually live, but into the way they imagine they could live.

(Pictured: Sam Alden's submission)

Via F/F

happy friday, you guys

We are, in fact, going away this weekend. Just like regular people who celebrate holiday weekends and shit. AMAZEBALLS!

So what if there's a "client meeting" involved. The client is rad.

(Friday Socks by drywell. You may also need to check out Alyson's adorbz blog.)

H-town's Favorite Lentil Salad

One of my best meatspace friends emailed me recently with this dilemma:  

I'm trying not to eat bread because I think it's making me fat (and sugar for that matter). What do I eat? I'm tired of eggs, and I'm tired of almonds, and I don't and won't eat meat unless it came from an un-endangered fish. What do I do?

I think you have some answers.

I don't really know what I eat. Let's be honest, half the time we eat CRACKERS AND CHEESE for dinner because we're too lazy or too caught up to cook. BAD BAD BAD.

But. Quinoa, we eat a lot of quinoa. With stir fry or roast chicken (not helpful) or whatever. It's also good cold and salad-y with greens and goat cheese and maybe some pine nuts. Lots of soft polenta. (Often with eggs, though. You said you're sick of eggs.) Lots of risotto.

I really like this lentil dal recipe. I serve it with rice since I can't eat naan.

And then there's H's very favorite lentil salad:

Mediterranean Lentil Salad with Lemon-Thyme Vinaigrette (adapted from a San Francisco Examiner Magazine recipe by Jim Wood my mom clipped for me a kajillion years ago)
1 cup lentils
5 cups water
1 tomato, cored and chopped
Sparse 1/2 cup oil-cured black olives, pitted and coarsely chopped (kalamata olives work in a pinch, but they're not as good)
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
2 stalks celery, trimmed and thinly sliced
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Vinaigrette
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 large cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons minced fresh thyme leaves (Thyme gives me hives, so I skip it. But maybe you like thyme.)
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Freshly ground pepper to taste
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro or Italian parsley (I prefer cilantro)

1. Combine lentils and water in a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until tender but not mushy, about 20 minutes. Drain, transfer to a large bowl, and let cool. Add tomato, olives, feta and celery and toss.

2. Whisk together lemon juice, garlic, and thyme in a medium bowl. Slowly whisk in olive oil. Whisk in salt and pepper. I find that the dressing is tastier if you let it sit for a little while. Gives the garlic time to marinate.

3. Pour vinaigrette over salad, toss and season to taste. Garnish with chopped cilantro and serve. (Or, if you decide to skip the thyme, add the cilantro to the dressing instead.)

This was intended as a first course but we eat it as a main. If you're feeling crazy, serve it over quinoa.* Delish! I usually double the recipe so we can have leftovers. It's even better the next day.

(Image by Julia Randall)

*I told you we eat a lot of quinoa. You can make it in the rice cooker, b/t/w. Same ratio as brown rice: 1 1/2 cups water to 1 cup quinoa. And I like to add a dash of olive oil.

What should I serve at a cocktail party in a hotel room?

Hiii ESB,

My brother is getting married at the end of the month, and although they are keeping it super casual on the beach, my brother just sprung a cocktail party on my parents for the night before. My parents have been more than happy to help out with planning, but his fiancee was so capable that the couple never sought any advice or help; they don't have a wedding party, so they never expressed interest for a rehearsal dinner or anything either. HOWEVER just last week they requested some sort of get together for the night before. My parents, being some kind of superheroes, managed to get a presidential suite in a hotel on the beach for guests to come and go all evening for a cocktail party. Only problem is that their desire to keep the event open to everyone means that they can't afford to get it catered. My father swears he's got the liquor covered. Great. But what kind of food should we serve? Methinks that somehow I will be the one thrust into the kitchen making some of this food, and I'd love to get ideas about easy things to make that would complement the oodles of liquor we are all sure to drink.

*****

I called in the big guns on this one. Here's what our lady Celia (a culinary/cocktail expert), had to say:

This one's a cinch. First and foremost, keep in mind that the night before your brother's wedding is not the time to dazzle a whole bunch of people with your culinary skills. I would consider myself a pretty well seasoned chef with almost seven years of experience under my belt, and even I wouldn't attempt to put in that amount of effort for one of my nearest and dearest the night before their big day. Seeing as you'll be in a hotel room sans kitchen, any sort of finger food or bite-sized hors d'oeuvres are out of the question. GOOD, those are a big fat pain in the ass anyway. All this considered, you can still offer your guests a night to remember with a beautiful spread of phenominal food. The easiest way to do this is to assemble an assortment of platters. You want things that can be bought, made, and stored a few days in advance and then quickly put together right before the party. Here are my suggestions...

1. A CHEESE Platter. Seriously, who doesn't love cheese? A cheese Platter is awesome because it is incredibly filling and can be assembled with very little effort. If you're a cheese fanatic, like myself, you can go to your local cheese shop and pick out all sorts of goodies. But if not, your local Whole Foods or Trader Joe's will have a nice selection as well. I typically like to do 1 bleu, 1 soft (like a camembert or brie), 1 stinky (like an epoisses), 1 not-at-all stinky (like a good quality cheddar), and 1 unexpected cheese (like a truffle cheese or Humboldt Fog). Make sure to add some accompaniments to your cheese platter such as dried figs or apricots, marcona almonds, fresh seasonal fruit, an open jar of honey or pepper jelly and some slices of baguette. Crostini should be made the day of and if you feel you have time to do that then by all means, do your thing. But if not, sliced un-toasted bread will do the trick.

2. A Mediterranean Platter is always a crowd pleaser. Artfully arrange groupings of assorted olives, a homemade flavored hummus (like this spinach one), crumbled feta drizzled with olive oil and topped with fresh chopped rosemary, oregano and parsley (chop the herbs the night before and store them in a baggie in your fridge overnight), pita wedges, tabouli, and marinated artichoke hearts.

3. An assortment of seasonal roasted veggies. RIGHT NOW, asparagus, fennel, wild mushrooms, and endive are phenomenal. Asparagus just need their ends chopped off, I like to slice fennel in rings, mushrooms can be roasted whole, and endive is best sliced in half lengthwise. Drizzle with a fair amount of olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast at a higher temperature like 450º-475º until GOLDEN brown. This is key. If you don't let the natural sugars in the veggies caramelize, you'll just get a whole bunch of soggy veggies. GROSS. This is the kind of goldenness I'm talking about. Make sure to roast your veggies in separate pans because they all require different cooking times. This can also be done the day before and stored in the fridge. Serve them at room temp the day of the party.

4. Charcuterie! This one's a no-brainer. Go to your local deli and have them slice up some proscuitto, salumi, mortadella, and bresaola. Arrange on your platter with a nice jar of mustard, some cornichons, and Italian breadsticks. If you're feeling extra fancy, add some rillettes or pâté or even some homemade tapenade.

This will definitely offer your guests a fresh and hearty selection. Also remember that you are hosting a cocktail party, not a dinner party. Obviously you don't want to run out of food, but most people do not eat dinner-sized portions at events like this. A general rule of thumb is to account for 10-12 bites per guest. You're always going to have that one person that loads their plate up with stuff from every platter and the one person who just takes a couple nibbles the whole night, but everyone else typically falls in between. For dips and spreads, I like to make roughly 2 cups per 10-15 people. When it comes to meats and cheeses, 2-3 oz. per head should be sufficient. This means 2-3 oz. total, not 2-3 oz. per meat and cheese. So for every 10 guests, you'll be buying a total of 1 1/2-2 lb. of assorted meats and cheeses. If your budget is tighter, buy more of the lower cost components and less of the higher cost ones. In other words, buy more mortadella than you would proscuitto.

If your budget is extra tight, don't go through the hassle of rentals. Depending on how many guests you are planning on having, the hotel might be willing to provide you with some cocktail plates, glasses and silverware. You ARE paying for the presidential suite, after all. And if not, ask friends and family to pitch in. Many of the parties I've catered have used mismatched pieces and the result is always charming. Make a list of exactly what goes on each platter to ensure you won't forget anything. Give yourself about an hour to assemble them and ask a friend to help you out. Two heads are always better than one.

And last, my husband is a sommelier so I asked him to give me some wine tips to pass along to your dad. On average one bottle of wine per three guests is recommended. This is the norm, but if your friends and family tend to be heavier drinkers (like mine), you should buy a little extra for insurance. We had 24 guests at our rehearsal dinner and went through 18 bottles of wine. I'm not even sure why I'm admitting this publicly, other than to give you an example. Assuming you're looking to buy bottles that fall under the $10 range, remember that you'll get more bang for your buck with a malbec or syrah than with the more popular varietals like cabernet or pinot. No, the bottles won't be bigger, but the quality will most likely be better. As for white, sauvignon blanc is always a safe bet; rarely mind blowing but definitely people-friendly. Also consider doing screwcaps. Many people tend to think that screwcaps are "cheap" or "lesser quality" but that simply is not the case. When it comes to lower priced wines, your chances of getting a corked bottle* here and there are pretty hefty, which is impossible with screwcaps.

Hope this helps and happy planning!

*If a cork comes into contact with some sort of contaminant, it will produce TCA which in turn will kill the aroma and the flavor of the wine. Since it is passed on through the cork itself, this only happens to certain bottles during the bottling process. For me, moldy newspaper is the best description of what a corked wine smells like. It's not at all bad for you to drink a corked wine, but it is pretty foul. Cork taint is completely unavoidable (unless you use screwtop), and roughly 8% of all wine bottles using cork are affected by it. If you've ever smelled/tasted a corked wine, you will never forget it. On that note: please, please, PLEASE don't mistake small particles of cork in your bottle or glass for a corked wine. I'm sure your sommelier or server will gladly switch out your bottle/glass if you do so, but they'll probably be rolling their eyes and saying snarky remarks under their breath at you as they walk away from your table.

(Image by Julia Randall via FFFFOUND!)

Are hipsters still on Facebook? Rly?

This otherwise rad illustration by Samantha Hahn (and the companion story from the September issue of Mankind Mag) spurs me to ask....

Because I thought Facebook was o-v-e-r. But I'm too old to be a hipster. What do I know?

Here's a rad way to keep track of your wedding expenses

Draw them.

Images by Kate Bingaman-Burt via Nibs*

*I was so glad to see Nibs back up I just scrolled all the way through Martha B's wedding archives.

Emily & Royal's Amelie-meets-Fiddler-on-the-Roof wedding

Finally! Noa's photos and all the sweet details from the long-anticipated (by me, anyway) feather love wedding.

Here's what Emily had to say:

Where to begin? Our wedding planning was a journey… and it was well worth all the time and effort! We wanted every detail of our wedding to reflect who we are and what we love. We chose Friday evening because we wanted our guests to be able to relax and have a good time with the weekend still ahead of them. The location was at Michael and Laura’s beautiful creek side property. The property was really the perfect palate for all the sweet details. We wanted the ceremony to be very intimate, and that’s how it turned out! I’ve always loved the wedding in “Fiddler on the Roof” and it inspired us to have our guests stand around us during the ceremony. My mom walked me down the flower petal path to our friend on the piano playing Yann Tiersen “Comptine D’un Autre Ete” (from the movie Amelie). We stood under a Chuppah draped with lace tablecloths that belonged to my great grandmother.





The Chuppah was made from wood found on the property the night before the wedding- not procrastinating at all… Our family spoke for the ceremony and my brother officiated the ceremony, so this made it all the more emotional and personal to us.


For the reception we rented picnic tables and Royal hung wire from the trees surrounding the area to hang the old fashioned lights over the tables. The lights looked like they were suspended in mid air, and the area had such a romantic feel about it. The feast turned out amazing! Royal and I have always had a soft spot for Mediterranean food because that was the meal of our first date, and the night we got engaged. Our friends Zach & Amy made the whole meal from scratch (they are now getting many suggestions to start a catering business)! The meal was family style so all the food was ready to go on the picnic tables when the guests sat down. We wanted the meal to have a communal feast feel, so everyone was able to sit and immediately serve themselves up some good food, without waiting in a line. Zach grilled the lamb on site the day of the wedding, and on the tables we had humus, tabouleh salad, and pita bread. My sister made the best sangria ever, and Royal and Michael brewed three kinds of beer on the property.





My mom and aunt made the three cakes, and we had my grandparents’ wedding cake topper. There is a French patisserie in Portland that Royal and I absolutely love, with our two favorite desserts, the Royale, and the Amelie (our French names!), so we had them make us large versions of the desserts. Somehow the two desserts imploded on the car ride over and could not be saved, so we had the small versions instead… I didn’t notice until we were cutting the cake that they looked unusually “mini,” but I was too happy to be bothered.


Almost all the decorations were hand made. It seemed like for days we were making tissue paper puffs… We made doily garlands, and ribbons with flowers hung from the trees. Royal’s mom sewed the runners on the tables. My friend Natalie is becoming quite the florist and helped me choose the flowers that she arranged in glasses, bowls, and jars that we had thrifted. The property felt magical and we really wanted our friends and family to explore all the areas, so my sister sketched and printed maps for all our guests that illustrated the different areas to walk to and hang out.



We hung paper lanterns down a tunnel of a path that led to the creek where we had a secluded spot for a couple to sit at a bistro table and chairs. Instead of doing a picture slideshow we hung photos of us from a wire line with clothespins. There was a vintage tent on a wood platform beside the creek with chairs for people to relax at. We had a bonfire area where kids could make s’mores that went late into the night.



I caught myself many times throughout the night standing and looking at the beautiful scene of our friends and family all having a good time together in such a magical place, and many times it would take my breath away. Overall the celebration turned out perfect. Royal and I both felt like it was our “coming out” as a couple. We are so happy with our wedding!


PS- many people wonder if Royal is Jewish, and although I always wanted to marry a Jewish boy, he is not- we just like their wedding traditions. (Editor's note: Jewish or not, please observe how well Royal wears his suit. Whether it is two-button or three-button, the bottom button of a suit jacket should always be left undone.)

p.p.s. There are a kajillion more photos on the feather love blog.

handwritten invitations

See the little guys swimming? The invites (in Swedish) are for a pool party. Elisabeth said it took her son "one concentrated hour" to make em.

Anybody getting ideas? Because our printed invites sure took longer than an hour to make.

fine little day via {frolic!}

p.s. It is effing hot today. I wanna go to a pool party!

I'm still a feminist!

From my new favorite blog, PONY&ZUCKER

Here's how pony pamplemousse and frl.sucker describe themselves:

we like drinking tea and having breakfast together, and feminism and watching gossip girl and zines and listening to cocorosie. this is our online diary, because the private is political.

Um, awesome.

Via Design for Mankind

one more from Winnie the Pooh

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

After deliberating over several Pooh quotes, H-town and I settled on this one to begin our wedding ceremony.

I have a habit of saying "Hi" out of the blue even if H-town and I have been sitting next to each other for hours. I also like to whisper even when we're alone together. I'm definitely the Piglet in the relationship.

(I smiled all over when I saw that Peonies and The Boy included this Pooh quote in their ceremony.)

Image via Paul Pincus

where the f* are my moccasins?

I ordered them last Friday. And do I need these feather earrings now too? Uh oh.

Liz documents her outfits and meals on draw draw draw. This is outfit #35.

Via {frolic!}