the universe owes me shoes

Dear Slightly Buzzed Fairy Godmother,

I'm getting hitched. And it blew up in my face. I wanted 75 people -- we're pushing 200. I wanted a backyard BBQ -- we're having a formal sit down dinner. I wanted to get married in the evening to beat the summer heat -- we'll be saying our vows at 3pm. I wanted a lot of things that aren't panning out -- such is life. It's easy to blame everyone else, but the truth is, while if I could go back and do it again -- I would have fought a lot hard for what I wanted. ​I didn't though, and this is how it is... and I'm going to suck it up. Everyone else being happy will make me happy. 

However, shoes. I feel like the universe owes me a fucking awesome pair of shoes for the amount of shit I've put up for the last year. I'm low maintenance. I have my standard items and stick by them. And I live in Vans -- which I plan on changing into when dancing starts. But I want a pair of killer floral heels for my most put together day.

I'm in love with these [pictured above]. In my mind, they're as perfect as a floral print gets. But I ordered them and just seriously too high- 6 inches. I can walk in them but I'm worried I'll break my ankle before the day is over. Could you help me find something similar? Preferable a floral print with a chunky heel. 

Thanks so much!  

*****

Those look like hooker shoes, sorta. Teenybopper hooker shoes.

I much prefer these Marais wedges.........................................

Is the liberty print too cutesy?


(You could always go with fancy Vans instead.)

Dear ESB: Do we have to serve MEAT?

I love your work, and am hoping for one of your famous pointed answers to my very first world problem. My parents and future father in law are paying for our wedding and being very generous in general. My minor dilemma is I have been vegetarian for 15 years for a variety of reasons, and vegan for many of them. I consider it part of who I am and my future moving forward. 

I understand that not everyone is cool with eating vegetables for dinner, so I thought offering chicken was great alternative (fiancé isn’t vegan, but doesn’t eat red meat). However, my future father in law is pretty adamant about having both steak and chicken in addition to a vegan entrée. I get a very uneasy feeling every time I think of beef being served, but don’t want to appear to be ungrateful/disrespectful and deny my FIL’s request. 

Yes or no to filet mignon?

- Hippie at Heart

*****

If your FFIL is putting up money for the wedding, that makes him one of the hosts. He gets to have a say in what is served for dinner.

How bout you insist on ethically raised beef? (And offer to make up the difference in price.)

Meat by Mal Jones

vegan sandals, haiku poems &c.

vegan shoes suck ass
but i need summer sandals.
what you got, cookies?

*****

i know you're anti-
flatforms, but could you bend on
this pair from zara?

______________________________


p.s. hey naurnie,
bet these braided wedges would
go with your jumpsuit!

Black shoes shouldn't be hard, right?

Hi ESB,

I'm a grad student and a bridesmaid at an upcoming wedding (Iowa in March), and blah blah blah, I need low-to-flat black shoes that are under $30 and I could preferably wear again to work. The best I can find is target, payless, or Forever 21 (this or this?).

The wedding has an old Hollywood glamour sort of feel, and the dress is simple, black, and plain. I'm not generally a stylish person (did I mention I was an engineering grad student?), so I was hoping that you or your stylish readers could help me?! I generally struggle with which t-shirt has the least holes, but aspire to more eventually.

Thanks!!!

*****

First off, please please PLEASE invest in a pair of shoes that costs more than $30. Shoes made of real leather, not "faux suede" or "faux patent leather" (What does that even mean? They're not patented??) or "thermoplastic rubber." With my apologies to the vegans. I mean, if you're vegan I guess those rubber ones wouldn't be the worst.

A good pair of shoes, say an $80 pair of shoes, or even a $120 pair, will last you four times as long as the $30 ones. Longer even, if you take good care of them and reheel them when they start to wear down. And they will be comfortable, and your feet won't get all sweaty and gross, and you won't get blisters while you're dancing at that wedding or tromping around at work.

Again, my apologies to the vegans. I don't know how you do it.

Anyhoo, dear reader, I'd go with something uber-simple like these Seychelles.

(Which you could even rock with a holey t-shirt. Who's got two thumbs and loves a t-shirt full of holes? This blogger.)

$59 down from $108 on Gilt for two more days

for the vegan on a budget

I can't attest to the quality of these, but I think they're pretty cute.

Python pointy ankle-straps, $60 at Pixie Market

vegan peeptoes!

with a RACING STRIPE

someone has got to get married in these.






(squidge squidge squidge.)

Silver. Moto. Jacket.

Someone clearly needs to wear this over her wedding dress.

Bonus: It's vegan!

Seeking: A Vegan Jacket for a Winter Bride

Hey girl hey,

I have some time, but I need your fashion help! I'm getting married in January in Dallas. The weather could be 60 degrees or 20 degrees, who knows. I need a jacket that I can wear that will sustain my body heat whatever temp it may be outside. (I'm not getting married outside, just taking some pics and walking to and from the car, so this doesn't need to be anything too intense). Here's my dress.

My colors are sapphire (to match my engagement ring, duh) and gold, so I was thinking maybe a gold or sapphire sequin jacket? Or is that too much with the sparkly (for lack of a better term...please help me find a better term) for the top of the dress? Maybe a rich velvet? Am I getting into tacky territory?

Oh, and I'm vegan, so no wool or silk por favor...and fur goes without saying.

*****

Much as I love sparkle, I must firmly steer you away from SPARKLE-ON-SPARKLE.

I want to say get a big beautiful gauzy scarf.

This 100% linen Giada Forte scarf is currently half off at Otte.

Or check in on Scout & Catalogue in the fall.

Her soft pink cotton gauze scarf isn't quite the right color, but it's definitely the right idea.

(Top image by Filippo Minelli)
______________________________

AM I CRAZY? Can this girl wear a linen/cotton wrap with a silk satin wedding dress?

And why did she go nazi vegan halfway through the wedding planning?

Sparkly Vegan Wedding Shoes

May I also point out that they're waterproof?

1. The Aldo verson of Beth's sparklers*

2. Melissa Ultragirl

3. The Melissa Campana Zig Zag, also available in black, red and silver. (I saw a friend wearing these in gold other day, and they are pret-ty jammin.)
______________________________ 

*Which were also Melissa, sold out long ago.