A much-needed rant regarding beer budgets, snooty fiancés and bullshit calligraphy

First, I love your blog, and I love the stories, advice, and oh la la the fashion.

I have to rant.

In an effort to have a champagne wedding on my beer budget, many corners, albeit ones that I was comfortable with cutting, needed to be cut. As a practical bride, I eliminated the need for fancy "Save the Dates" and DIY-ed mine, hello business card magnets, a copy machine, and self stick laminate! Another budget buster, invitations, foregoing the letterpress that I love, I decided to go the minted.com route, and find invitations at a fraction of the price knowing that only a few people would actually give a shit about my invitations outside of myself and hey, for the price, they are pretty cool.

So in another effort to cut cost, and make my life easier, I thought online RSVP on a custom site that would enable guest inventory, food options, table seating, etc. was a no brainer, especially for a techie like me. Insert bomb number 1, the fiance finds online RSVP to be tacky. Yet he is in the software industry... touche. I think it's a great way to organize, keep myself from creating a Xanax habit, and hey, be Green too!

So then, I have pretty cool handwriting, and I planned on addressing each envelope in my handwriting but a little more stylish.. Insert Bomb number 2, the fiance finds it necessary to hire an expensive Calligrapher to write on the fucking envelopes of our minted.com invitations and claims that the "Calligraphy sets the tone of your event." I call bullshit.

If people are so concerned with the fucking scribe on the front of their envelope as opposed to just being thrilled to share in our day with us, then they have major problems, not us for not using an expensive Calligrapher! The way my mind works is that that money could go towards extra food or booze for our guests... or should I pay the Calligrapher to write on the envelope, "because of this fancy writing that you will look at for 5 seconds, throw in the trash and not care, an appetizer has been removed from the party, please eat this envelope in lieu of that appetizer." haha.

What are your thoughts?

*****

Please tell your fiancé to remove the stick from his ass.

You already "set the tone" of the wedding with your DIY Save the Date's. Hiring a calligrapher to address your minted.com invitations sounds like some serious bullshit to me.

Also, if you want people to actually RSVP, you'd better at least offer an online option.

YOU: 2
FIANCÉ: 0

Natalia Zakharova by Michael Donovan via Rowena Murillo + FASHIONOGRAPHY

Make me droll.

Um.

There has got to be a place for these hand-carved rubber stamp sets somewhere in the wedding world. If you defaced your engagement photos before you sent them to me, for example, I might even put them on my refrigerator.

By Patricia of Memi The Rainbow. (See more photos on Memi The Rainbow's blog, and don't miss the donut + macaron stamps.)

Via Creature Comforts

Here's something new: AN STD DILEMMA

Dear ESB,

I think I might be an asshole. Here's my predicament: Our wedding is in October and being an overanxious bride I sent out our save the dates in January. Great, now it's off my to-do list. I'm an asshole though, because now I want to cut our guest list. We've recently taken a closer look at our list and there are people on there that I'm now thinking, 'why did we want to invite them?' It's not that we've had a falling out with anyone it's just that they're not so important to us that I really want them at our wedding...when we first made the guest list it was more about inviting "fun people" to make it a great party. But now in hindsight, I'd rather it be smaller and more intimate with just our really close family and dearest "fun people." 

Would I be a total ass to not send an invitation to a few people that I sent save the dates too?

Thanks for the brutal honesty!
Overly Eager Bride

*****

Dear OEB,

You fucked up. But don't let it ruin your wedding.

Let word get out (NOT by mail or email or facebook or any of that bullsh*t, but via word-of-mouth) that your plans have changed and you're doing an intimate thing with just your nearest + dearest.

If you piss a few people off, who cares? You don't want em there anyway.

xoxo,
ESB

Tanya Dziahileva* by Carlotta Manaigo, Mixte Magazine March 2009 via Charles Cherney via IAMHAUTECOUTURE.
______________________________

*Are you paying attention to the hair? This will be on the final exam.

 

Hey ESB,

What do you think of video save-the-dates? I've seen a few here and this one is crazy.

Tacky/annoying wedding trend?? Or badass??? I'm thinking at least I will save on postage....

- anna

*****

just send an email. srsly.

(Photo: Mike O'Meally via Yimmys Yayo)

Is it okay to send a save-the-date postcard? (part two)

This post got a lot of comments defending postcards. From people who sent postcards. But I can't resist reposting this one (just in from Lauren):

so as it turns out, some family friends of ours have a daughter getting married the weekend after us. they sent the save the date postcard... they asked my mom if she got it. she didn't. she mistakenly threw it away while trying to get rid of junk mail.

envelopes win.

Is it okay to send a save-the-date postcard? Or: In praise of envelopes

Lauren emailed me with this question:

did you send out save-the-date cards for your wedding? i come from a southern family and i think most of our family friends, etc, expect one. not that i mind. we are thinking of doing something super cool with one of our engagement photos. my question is... do you send them as a postcard? my mom is havin' a conniption about it because she thinks people will just throw them away if they are postcards as opposed to in an envelope that they have to open to see...

In fact, we sent out a save-the-date email. With a link to the super-rad wedding website that H-town designed. (But I'm guessing your mom won't go for that.)

I have to say, if you're gonna mail the thing, I agree that you should put it in an envelope. A postcard will get smudged or bent or lost in the mail. Or tucked inside one of those horrifying grocery-store flyers and tossed into the recycling. Think worst-case scenario here. Because a save-the-date is important. And you need to know that all your favorite people are, y'know, saving the date.

(Andrew Bush Photography via a desert fete)