The Night Before?

Dear ESB,

I liked your advice on first looks, and I am wondering what your thoughts on spending the night before your wedding with your partner. 

It seems that even the most modern brides are still spending nights apart. Then again, these modern brides invented The Knot. Most people are living together before they are married right? So wouldn't they get ready together and see each other the day of? 

What did you do?

Sincerely,
Apart we are together.

*****

We spent the night before the wedding together (I mean, COME ON) and then spent the morning together running around setting up tables &c. But we split up an hour or two before the ceremony and I took a bath, shaved my legs, spent a few minutes alone contemplating the enormity…. and got ready with my bridespeople. And he did whatever he did with his groomspeople.

So we saw each other for the "first time" at the altar. Which was incredible. Which is what everyone should do. (OPINIONS! I'VE GOT EM.)

Photo by Mikael Jansson for Interview Magazine

______________________________

p.s. Dan Savage also has some opinions about weddings. I particularly like his exhortation to "Fuck first." Seems relevant here.

Me: super nervous about getting married, being centre of attention and want to grab a few minutes alone with the boy prior to the wedding ceremony. 

Him: magical, super romantic moment pictured of seeing me for the first time walking up the aisle. 

Can there be a happy compromise??

*****

Just don't do fucking First Look photos, whatever you do.

F* the First Look photos

Your wedding photographer will probably try to convince you to do two hours+ of portraits before the ceremony. He wants you to be able to go straight to the reception after the ceremony, but he also wants to capture the first moment you see each other in your wedding garb without any pesky wedding guests in the way. What you get is those incredibly stagy "first look" photos, where the bride and groom just end up looking like they're posing.

Come on. You're nervous. You're about to get married. And then you're supposed to turn and look at each other and be all lovestruck and amazed while pretending there's not a camera pointing at you?

You're robbing yourself of the (trust me) incredible moment of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. Or the arch or the stump or whatever. And you're robbing your guests of the joy of seeing you see each other for the first time.

For fuck's sake, please just take a little time to do portraits after the ceremony. They'll come out much better because you will be SMILING YOUR ASS OFF. You'll barely notice the camera. (Trust me.)

I have to give V, a non-engaged, non-blogger friend, some credit for inspiring this post. She went on a rant about first look photos at thanksgiving.

Image courtesy of My Parents Were Awesome