And the award for BEST WEDDING HAIR goes to....

Dear ESB,

First off, thank you for existing. Thank you for being there from when I had Wedding Brain until I decided to say fuck it and start from scratch.* And most importantly; thank you for being a part of my daily wedding planning ritual so I didn’t completely lose my shit.

A very short backstory; we swapped out the large/complicated wedding we never really wanted for a small San Francisco City Hall wedding + 3 month Europe trip (which starts in July). (You can follow us on our trip over here.)

Onto the wedding day stuff:

I woke up with so many butterflies in my stomach I thought I was going to puke. Or it could’ve been the pre-wedding tacos from the night before (not recommended unless unless you’re ok with having a food baby all the next day).

We started our morning lazily getting ready together and then went our separate ways to get ready with friends. If you’re doing your own hair or make-up I highly suggest knowing exactly what you’re going for or you might go over your allotted “getting ready” time like someone I know...

We almost didn’t do that “first look” thing, but I’m so glad we did. It felt kind of like when you’re little and you beg for a specific toy for a long time and you’re pretty sure you’re going to get that gift, but when you finally open it your heart fills with a burst of joy. Just like that.

After getting tons of portraits done at the Queen Anne Hotel we ate some delicious wedding donuts, drank some wedding juice and hopped in cabs to head to City Hall.

We arrived at City Hall, ate more donuts and got married. Then we all hopped into a party bus, picked up some sushi and ate it outside of the Exploratorium.

We spent the rest of the day walking around Fisherman’s Wharf and watching the sunset. Then came pizza dinner/beer at The Pizza Place. One of our favorite things about the wedding was how almost everyone ended up giving an unplanned speech at dinner, most of which were hilarious.

After dinner we tried to catch some cabs but had no luck. So we took buses to our next destination, which led to the parents referencing The Graduate a lot. We ended up at Buckshot, aka Skee Ball/Photobooth/Dance Party Central. The night ended perfectly with the DJ playing You Make Me Wanna (Shout) for us.

Sincerely,
Shana

*Following the suggestions of you and your readers, we ended up personally calling everyone that wasn’t invited to City Hall and ended up celebrating with them at a later date. Win/win!

Srsly, who has better hair, Shana or Jerrad?

THEY BOTH HAVE AMAZING HAIR.

Also: Those shoes on that man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Photos by Maddie of Hart and Sol West. Go check out more pics -- and read more from Shana -- over on A Practical Wedding.)

What should a couple of country bumpkins and/or Angelenos and/or Aussies do in SF?

Dear ESB

What should two thirtysomething country bumpkins from England do in San Francisco in early June? 

We'll be staying for 6 nights and have done a bit of research on the 'touristy' things we'd like to do - see the Golden Gate Bridge, hike in Muir Woods etc. but would love some ideas from your awesome readers.

Staying in the financial district (random I know - but it was super cheap and we're prepared to walk/catch the bus etc).

Like -

Antiques/curiosity shops

Hiking

CHEESECAKE

Indian food

American food (traditional and fusion)

Interesting baby/toy/nursery shops

Dislike -

Pretentious bars where they charge an extra $5 per drink just because the bartenders are wearing idiotic looking bow ties and flat caps

Hawkers

If any of your readers ever want advice on good hiking spots in England I'll be happy to return the favour...

Thanks ESB -

*****

First off, NEVER USE THAT FONT AGAIN. Do you srsly send all your emails in that font??

Second, I keep getting requests for San Francisco guides, and I keep ignoring them because San Francisco is my home town and I'd really like to be able to write the damn guide myself but the truth is I'm not qualified....

So. Here are a few of my favorite places in SF:

Paxton Gate = the best curiosity shop EVAR. Perfect place to buy your dad a skull.

Dosa (a few blocks from Paxton Gate) = delish, upscale Indian

Humphry Slocombe (also within walking distance) = the best, weirdest ice cream. Get the sundae with Blue Bottle Vietnamese coffee ice cream + prosciutto ice cream. Trust.

The Alembic (in the Haight) = the best cocktails, which you would most certainly deem pretentious. OH SHIT HE'S WEARING A CAP.

Eric's (in Noe Valley, where I grew up) = my old favorite Chinese restaurant. House of Nanking (in Chinatown) is also terrif.

I leave it to the current residents to offer more recommends.... Most importantly, who can recommend the best BURRITOS? La Cumbre was my jam back in the day, but I'm willing to recognize that there may be better burritos.

Note: San Francisco is the burrito capital of the world, which means you're required to eat at least two each while you're in town.


Anyone know who took the photo?

Where should a couple of newlywed yupsters live in the BAY AREA?

Hi There!

It seems you (and your readers) are infinitely wise when it comes to many things, so here's my current dilemma.

FH and I are moving to the Bay Area after we get married in Chicago this summer. We've both lived in Chicago since we were 18 and came here for college. We'll both be working in the Valley; let's call our companies "Dapple" and "Schmoogle." We both abhor long commutes, but we're on the hipster side of yuppie so also enjoy bars and restaurants with plenty of handlebar mustaches to be seen.

Bottom line: where should we live? It seems like a nearly impossible question. We're used to living in the city (currently we live in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago) but the thought of commuting 2 hours a day sounds more than a little bit nauseating.

I'm lost and need help!

Thanks ever so,
SF Stupid

*****

For fun, I asked two different Bay Area ladies to offer their opinions. Here's J, who lives in San Francisco proper:

The kids who were cool before they started working for Google live in the Mission. And that's where you go for moustaches, best restaurants, finest cocktails, plus the occasional rock show, art opening, cool boutique. There are Google buses, and probably an Apple bus, so you don't have to commute; you just get on, log in and ride. Since you're from Chicago you probably won't be turned off by occasional gang violence or multiculturalism. I'm sure there are **some** hip things happening in Palo Alto, San Jose, Cupertino or Sunnyvale but I bet you'll feel like you're living in an 80's suburb after being in Chicago.

I don't know where the actual cool kids live, probably in the Tenderloin or the Outer Sunset.


And here's Celia, who just bought a condo in Oakland:

Hello, SF Stupid, and welcome to the Bay Area... where buying produce that isn't grown locally is almost worse than being a Republican, pedestrians take the right of way to whole new heights, and everyone's go-to fashion accessory is their favorite winter coat. If you do it right, the Bay is one of the best places to live in the world. Yes, THE WORLD. 

The simple answer to your question is, unfortunately, you will HAVE TO commute. We're talking CALIFORNIA real estate here, and you simply can't have your cake and eat it too. The plain truth about the South Bay is that there just isn't a lot of CITY going on down there. The closest thing you're going to get to any sort of bustling city environment would be downtown San Jose. I happen to have lots of family in SJ, so I'm fairly familiar, and it just doesn't cut it for me. Though it's a big city, in many ways SJ has a "sleepy town" vibe to it. And the only handlebar mustaches you'll come across are rocked by Mexican men wearing big, fat, bronze belt buckles (the original hipsters, IMHO).

The good news is that you have options when it comes to your commute. You're not the only people working for "Dapple" and "Schmoogle" that are attracted to city life, so getting to work doesn't have to be horrendous. I'm assuming you've looked into the shuttle system that has a wide variety of stops in the city and will drop you off right at the front doors of Dapple and Schmoogle? I have personally not had the privilege of riding one of these fancy buses, but I've only heard great things. Cush seats for napping, free wifi, and I'm pretty sure I remember a friend of mine telling me the shuttle he takes to that dreaded valley even provides coffee and snacks. Lady, if you ask me, that commute sounds like a DREAM.

You can also look into riding Caltrain. All I know about those trains is that their scheduling tends to be off. I'm a Bart rider myself (and no, Bart doesn't make the magic trip to SV), and since Bart trains are rarely more than a minute off, an unreliable train would drive me to insanity. That being said, if punctuality ain't really your thing, then it might be worth it to you. 

Since all of that is out of the way, let's talk neighborhoods that would be good for you. Now, if you were on the hipster side of hipster, I'd send you straight to The Mission... but let's not tell the Mission hipsters I said that, because the last thing we want is for them to get their sensitive sally hipster panties all in a bunch, mkay? Being on the hipster side of yuppie (and you should know that I'm not entirely sure I know what that means... do you flip through J Crew catalogues while enjoying some PBR?), I have a feeling that your best two options will be Noe Valley and Bernal Heights. I spoke to a good friend of mine who is a Chicago native, and from what I gather, Logan Square is probably closer to Bernal Heights. AND seeing as you don't have kids, I think that would also make Bernal Heights a better fit, but those SV geeks (ahem, hipster yuppies) do love them some Noe Valley, so it would definitely be worth a look into. Both of those neighborhoods will offer you nearby restaurants complete with the occasional handlebar mustache. What's not to love?

And lastly, I will give you the other side of the spectrum, San Francisco's super scary stepsister, Oakland. Probably didn't even consider Oakland, did you? That's ok... most people wouldn't. 

[Incidentally, J lives in Noe Valley, the neighborhood we grew up in. When I told her I'd also asked a friend from Oakland to weigh in on this, she said "Hilarious 'cause I forgot all about Oakland. SF snob!"]

Ok, so Oakland isn't exactly closer to the dreaded SV. If anything, it's a touch farther. BUT, if you take into account the traffic you will sit in getting in and out of San Francisco, your commute from Oakland shouldn't be much longer. Oh, and those fancy shuttles I was talking about earlier? They also make stops in the East Bay. As for Oakland being super scary, it is. I live in Oakland, and I'm not going to lie to you. HOWEVER, in no way shape or form is it scarier than San Francisco. These are big cities we're talking about, and since you live in Chicago, I'm sure that you're well aware that big cities have super scary crime attached to them. It's just part of it. That being said, Oakland has some insanely rad neighborhoods that are also worth checking out. So if Oakland is, or does become an option, try looking into the Rockridge and Piedmont Ave. neighborhoods. I have a feeling they'll be the right glass slipper for you.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and tons of luck to you on the big move. 


Photo by Todd Hido of my favorite Noe Valley Victorian, occupied (natch) by an interior designer and a professional skater

Hippie-Inspired Buddhist Wedding featuring a GENUINE VINTAGE Dress

Hi East Side Bride,

I am a California girl trapped in Pennsylvania where I moved for a job. I am a writer (my novella California was published by LA record label Teenage Teardrops) and teach creative writing at a small liberal arts college. I love what I do, and jobs are scarce, so here I am. 

My parents got married super hippie style on a cliff in Arcata, CA where I was born in the 70's and that has always been my idea of perfect. My dad wore a cape. We wanted to do something in California and something in Pennsylvania where my husband Neil is from, something super intimate and as stress free as possible, and something later where all our friends and family could be together. We decided to have a small private ceremony in December in Marin County at Spirit Rock Meditation Center with three witness, and have a reception for family and friends in May 2012. It worked out great. 

My meditation teacher offered to marry us while teaching a retreat on a hillside on this incredible preserved land -- rolling golden hills, wild turkey, deer, live oak trees, bliss. Her hair just happened to match my bouquet that day. We were lucky on a lot of counts: great weather, all three witnesses were talented photographers, we didn't have to deal with any one else's input, or go into massive amounts of debt. I've never been excited by traditional wedding gowns, and it turned out my mom had saved this old vintage dress of hers that I think I wore for Halloween one year in high school. Luckily I didn't mind that it had holes and had yellowed over the years, and amazingly enough it still fit. 

We spent four days in San Francisco with friends, I did a reading the public library there, got an incredible bouquet of ranunculus, peonies, and thistle at Bell & Trunk Flowers, and then we headed over the Golden Gate. We stayed at the Olema Cottages which couldn't have been more charming, and had a knock out meal at the Olema Inn. We splurged on rings designed by my incredibly talented pal Kathryn Bentley, and I bought some hooker-y red suede platform heels that I wore for only about 20 mins because I needed to keep my boots on for scaling the hills. All these photos attached were taken in a quick 15-minute rush to catch the light. 

Needless to say, we were really happy with our choices.

Thank you for having the only decent wedding blog. The rest of them make me barf.

♥

(Photos by Eugene Ahn and Joanne Kim)

A Wedding in Polaroids

And the most thorough, thoughtful, helpful write-up I have yet had the pleasure of publishing.

Take it away April:

Sitting down to write about our wedding seems an awful lot like an Academy Award acceptance speech -- there were so many incredible people and friends involved. I'm about to start blurting out a list of names before the orchestra starts playing the STOP TALKING music.

About our wedding: it happened over labor day weekend in a small town 2 hours north of San Francisco. Monte Rio is beautiful, remote and very California without having the expense of nearby wine country. The ceremony was on a meadow by the Russian River with the reception at the community center. We treated it like it like a destination wedding.

Besides our own marriage, here's what we wanted for our guests:

- to have a relaxing long weekend on the river.
- to enjoy themselves so much that they were really sad when the weekend was over.
- to leave feeling like they really got to know other people and made new friends.
(To that end we created a Facebook group to organize lodging, communicated on our save the dates that guests needed to book lodging pronto and gave people the resources to find rental houses together. We also created a custom google map with important location and people's rentals.) As far as we know, success!

Long term, WE owe the photographers, big time. We didn't have a pile of cash to burn, so we decided early on to spend on what was important to us. Pictures last forever, right? We wanted the photographs to represent the time we had that weekend and Chloe Aftel did just that. Bonus: she is hilarious and a joy to work with (she did our engagement shots too). She does magical things with Polaroids and captured the romantic, ephemeral parts of marrying someone you love. Waking up the day after the weddings and flipping through the prints was immediate gratification! We had another photographer manning the photo booth during cocktails -- Meg Messina took fantastic wedding guest portraits.

Finally, a shot of gratitude to Jennifer Tipton. She came on as the wedding day coordinator but she was indispensable long before that. She was wonderful to work with and  was on top of everything during the weekend.

The dress: it was St. Lucia sample by Jenny Packham, purchased at San Francisco's Glamour Closet. This is the place to go if you want an expensive dress for half-price. Ideal for people who a) are motived bargain shoppers or b) don't mind if their dress has a few fix-it blemishes.
The headpiece: bought a couple but settled on the Mignonne Handmade - Nature Girl Halo in ivory.
The bridesmaids: almost all wore long, pale pink Rachel Pally. She designs with modal jersey, aka feels like pajamas.

The cake(s): we didn't want a wedding cake per se. We bought basically one of every cake from Miette. Beautiful/delicious/not $1000.

And finally, here's the rest of the Rad people/places/things near California's Sonoma valley....

Artistry by Alan: Oh my, those lashes! He comes from a Hollywood background and sat me down, did his magic and I looked like myself but flawless. What cinched it for me is he did make-up on the movie Clueless. HELLO 90's girl fantasy!
Brian Ho of Dreams in Audio: the best damn unwedding DJ we could've found (sf-based)
Fork Catering: food truck extraordinaire, tasty, local, fresh food.
Pinterest: I had an Inspiration and Final Wedding board to manage the look since our wedding decor didn't really have a strong theme besides what we liked.
Virb: hosted our wedding website! Easy and (more importantly) stylish.

The last note: we ended up with 12 kids/babies on the attending guest list(!). Besides reserving the playground adjacent to the reception site we also introduced the parents beforehand via email. We had a kid activities, made programs with a colorable illustration. One of my favorite parts of the reception was the kids smashing a Confetti System-style piñata we filled with toys and candy. It was joyful having them around!

OH, I cannot believe I almost forgot to mention my favorite wedding stress coping mechanism. No, not stress eating (close second!) — my favorite way to let of irrational impulses and wedding industry wackness out was by creating the Twitter account @BRIDEHULK. In the same vein as internet meme @DrunkHulk, you tweet the rage away. I did not man @BRIDEHULK myself, I enlisted the help of about 10 other brides who were also wedding planning last year. Most of us graduated out but there are still a couple friends who are getting married in 2012. I hope the tradition will live on and would be happy to share login information with others who find themselves fed-up with one too many staged wedding blog posts, difficult potential vendors and crazy-pants family drama.

Cheers!
April

(Chloe Aftel also took super gorg digital photos. A few of em are up over here.)

Seeking: Non-traditional rings in San Francisco

[yipes i have no idea what happened to this post, but i don't want to delete it b/c the comments are really good]

Asking guests to donate to NO on PROP 8: Tacky or Thoughtful?

Hi!

My fiancé and I live in the Castro district of San Francisco and I can't help but feel guilty that we're legally allowed to get married while the vast majority of our neighbors are not. Yes, I realize that my neighbors do not personally view us as the "hetero-enemy" or anything, but it just makes me sad that same-sex marriage is still illegal in California and I don't want to ignore that fact.

I read one suggestion that I kind of liked: on the registry page of our wedding website, include a section that says we would also appreciate donations made out to "charity X" so everyone in California can legally marry their loved ones, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Would doing that be tacky/pretentious or respectful/sensitive? Do you have any other suggestions that are better? I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but this issue is important to us and we'd like to respectfully address it in some way.

Thanks!

*****

I love that idea.

Couple and Child, San Francisco Gay Parade (1978) courtesy of the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art

Portland is coming to San Francisco

ESB sponsor and all-around cool lady Elizabeth Dye will be in San Francisco on March 26th, along with her entire 2011 dress collection for you to try on and order.

Duchess will be there too, so why not drag your man [or your lady who wears suits]* along to try on a suit or two?

(More info here.) 

*I already felt uncomfortable about the heterosexism of my language when A Bicycle Built for Two pointed out that Duchess makes terrific suits for women "who prefer a masculine or androgynous look."

24 hours in San Francisco

1. Blue Bottle Coffee. Possibly the best latte I've ever had.

2. A fruitless search for a cool pair of sandals that a) won't give me blisters and b) won't go out of style in the next five minutes. I'm talking to YOU, gladiators. I did try these on (mostly to get them out of my system) but I started to develop welts just wearing them around the store. Turns out there are no cool, comfortable sandals. I think I'll take Lauren's suggestion and just buy a pair of Rainbows.

3. Humphry Slocombe. Blue Bottle Vietnamese coffee ice cream + prosciutto ice cream + frosted peanuts + Maldon salt (whatever that is) = the best sundae I've ever had.

4. Faith No More at The Warfield. FUCK. YES. 

Images courtesy of Blue Bottle Coffee Co and me

why yes

I did just buy an oversized meshy-y vintage men's tank for $2.70 at Clothes Contact. Which I plan to rock all summer with a black bra underneath.*

I am having some issues with jeans, however. As in, which jeans will I rock all summer? In recent photos, my boyfriend jeans, which I hoped were incredibly sexy in an f* this kind of way, look just plain baggy. Possibly in an unflattering kind of way. I think it's time for some new boyfriends. And I might need a new skinny pair too.**

*Um, I promise you won't see this much of my bra.

**I know I know. A year ago I was all about the wide leg. But now it is hideous to me. Effing fashion.

(Via Le Fashion)

the next thing in bridal headgear

LITTER, made by two sisters in San Francisco from reclaimed + recycled materials. (Including watch straps, mink tails, keys, and even car parts, according to Daily Candy.)

Also check out the blog, but BEWARE: beautiful people.

I can't wait for the shoe jewelery.

Thanks for keeping me on trend, lady.

please allow me to clarify

When I said "mini-cleanse," what I meant was, "I should stay away from bourbon for a few days." Um, and burritos.*

I would never give up food. And I don't even know how to work our juicer.**

*I was in San Francisco for the weekend. Wheat is a migraine trigger for me, and you can't make a burrito without a big flour tortilla. But it's impossible for me to leave SF without eating at least one. This time I had two.

**Basically, I'm the husband in the marriage. I act all bumbling in the kitchen so that H-town is forced to wait on me. Every once in a while I slip up and prepare a meal and he remembers I know how to cook, but usually it works like a charm.

(Image courtesy of jerryriddle)

Pirate it is*

Pirate Love necklace by VeraMeat on etsy or at catbird. And let's not forget the Pirate Love ring.

p.s. If you get to San Francisco, be sure to stop by the Pirate Supply Store. Where they do indeed sell eyepatches. (And, sometimes, mustaches. But that is a moot point.)

*Thanks Meg.

taxidermied bride & groom

I was headed over to Paxton Gate to stalk Laurie Brown when I found these. Omg.

I think they'd make the perfect wedding present for someone really really cool. (According to Jeanie's bio, they are actually intended to go on top of the cake.)

P might also appreciate the Mexican tourist mouse.

The little rodents come with a warning: Although their hides are cured and dried, they still may appeal to pets. Keep them out of reach of your dog or cat.