Bri & Ben's chill-but-gorgeous LA wedding

Because you know I love a good follow-up............... How could I not feature Bri & Ben's wedding, featuring THAT MARA HOFFMAN DRESS in the wild?

Also, this is just the kind of wedding that makes me love weddings. (Though it brings back those old why-did-I-grow-out-my-bangs-for-my-wedding?! regrets.)

Anyhoo.

Here are a few words from Bri:

When Ben and I planned our wedding we really wanted to be kind of chill and laid back about it. That's easy for him, but not as easy for me since I struggle with a need to always be in control. But we focused really hard on remembering that it was just like our small house parties, only huge. 

We consulted each other on our wedding attire (no secrecy here -- he's my most influential fashion adviser), and relaxed on nitpicking the wedding party attire. I asked the bridesmaids to wear bright colors as if they were flowers in the spring garden and they totally nailed it. The groomsmen wore springy suits and colorful plaid ties to fit with the theme.

Writing vows was so much harder than I expected! It's not that I have trouble expressing my feelings for Ben, but that it was a public declaration. It was really hard deciding what all those friends and family should hear or would want to hear. In the end we coordinated our vows by agreeing on a general length and rhythm and they turned out lovely. Even now friends and family continue to bring up how much they were moved by our very personal vows, and it feels like the best compliment you can get on your wedding.

Ben sings in The Silver Lake Chorus and plays fiddle and mandolin, and has also played music in his hometown of Charleston, SC. We both have a lot of musically talented friends, and several of them provided the sweet sounds - a personalized processional song was performed for us by the songwriter, an a capella female trio (friends we met through the chorus) sang "The Book of Love" mid-ceremony, and two of Ben's friends and former bandmates from Charleston performed a first dance version of "The Luckiest." My sister Genevieve and another friend co-DJ'd the after-dinner dance party.

The projects I decided to labor over were ones that I truly enjoyed putting together. My tin can succulent centerpieces were my pride and joy (and took forever), and designing my own invitations was really fun (and cheap!). 

The scariest moment of the day happened to Genevieve who was my maid of honor. I asked her to hold onto my vows until the moment I would read them. During the ceremony, she realized she didn't have them with her. Panicked, she quietly left the ceremony to frantically search the bridal suite. She didn't find them, and came back certain that everything was about to implode with her failure. When it came time to read them... I pulled them out from the inside of my palm, and she was of course completely relieved. (Before the ceremony began, I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to reflect for 5 minutes. She didn't realize that I had taken the vows back to look them over alone in my bridal suite. Then when it was time to go, I tucked them into the bouquet and carried them out with me.) Little did I know what a scare I gave to her -- Ha! We laugh about it now, but I still have pangs of guilt for putting her through that.

The best part of the day was taking a moment alone with Ben after the ceremony where we breathed a sigh of relief and drank some champagne before heading out for photos and reception. We just looked at each other like "We just did it! We just got married!" We took some terrible selfies and posted them to instagram. Finally I got to stop worrying about everything.

The wedding was just a party, and yet so much more. I never wanted to be a "bride" in the pinterest sense, but looking back, I was and it was fucking fun.

♥

Photos by the lovelies of Rad & In Love (as always, there are lots more over on their blog)

The Accidental Cougar

Dear ESB,

This is not a wedding question. . . yet. But maybe you can advise. 

I'm in love with a man nine years my junior (I'm 32. He's 23.) I had no idea he was so young when I met him. I acknowledge this is absurd and can't possibly work out. But. I think I need someone else to tell me that. Can you knock some sense into me?

Or else tell me about your best friend who did the same thing and it magically worked out and they are still madly in love 20 years later? (HAHA)

love,
the accidental cougar

***

Are you in a hurry to get married and have kids and shit? Has the subject come up?

For now: ENJOY THE SEX and try not to think too hard about the future. (I'm more concerned about him being 23 than being nine years younger. But he won't stay 23 forever.)


Photography by Brendan Freeman / Styling by Katy Lassen / Makeup by Isamaya Ffrench for Used Magazine AW12 via HUNGER TV

Bangable hair

Hey ESB,

I am in the process of ending a relationship. It was great, until I realized he's a total player and the connection I thought we had was really just my imagination. The sex was amazing, but I have learned the hard way that physical chemistry can be deceptive. Just because his hands knew just how to touch me, his arms just how to squeeze me hello, and his huge dick how to give me multiple orgasms doesn't mean it was done with care. It just means he knows the right moves. And he's using them on a handful of other girls on the nights I'm not with him.

I have long hair (below boob length), which I know is a turn on for most guys, and especially for this dude. He made me feel so potent and sexy, and I think I kept it long for that reason. I've been wanting to cut my hair since before I met him. It seems like now is the time to go for the messy, dirty, I don't give a fuck bob I've been craving. But I hate to admit... part of me worries about not being bangable with short hair.

I know I need to "own it" and that confidence is sexy, but come on, confidence is fickle. I also know hair grows back, but that always takes forever. What if I cut my hair short and look like Lena Dunham on a bad day (but without her sense of humor)? What if I look like a soccer mom? Why do I feel tied to some male expectation of sexy?

I am so ready for a change. Help convince me to say fuck it and just do it. And if you have any other tips, I welcome them with open arms.

*****

Start off slow. You don't have to get a shaved-up-the-back-of-your-neck bob. You can get a messy, sexy, Alexa Chung bob. A Karlie Kloss for Iro bob (see above). A fuck-it, bed-head-y whoever-this-is bob. (Be sure to bring photos to your stylist.)

But do it! Cut it! Cut your hair!

Cut it just to prove to yourself that you are damn sexy with WHATEVER HAIR YOU PLEASE

1. Cut your hair.

2. Buy a killer pair of jeans.

3. Go read The New Yorker at a hotel bar and allow some lonely gentleman to buy you a martini.

4. Go home alone, feeling smug.

4a. Or not! Get on tinder and find yourself some strange!

Great, now I want a bob. (Alexis, are you reading? Should we give me #3?)

Photo: Claudia Knoepfel and Stefan Indlekofer

check out the bride in Helmut Lang

All you DOUBTERS may feel free to admit you were wrong.

(Photos by Winnie Au for Refinery 29)

pre-heartache

Hi ESB and readers,

I was wondering where to get some advice about this when I re-read "Heartache" from April 21. I don't want to turn your blog into a giant hole of darkness but I can't think of anyone better than you guys to turn to. 

Out of the blue, my mom has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. She has not been ill in any way so my entire family is reeling. I'm getting married in September and I just don't know how to deal with the wedding itself or all the planning. It feels like I will just be bawling my eyes out the whole time and everyone else will too. 

How can a wedding be fun when it's the worst time of my entire life? How do I do this? How can I think about my future when she might not be in it?

A.


p.s. Please follow this up with a super divisive fashion post, I need the positive energy.

******

Oh, lady. I am so so sorry.

Postpone the wedding.* You shouldn't have to worry about it right now, and you may not want to worry about it for a good long while. Please give yourself all the time you need.

<3





Lida Fox by Stian Foss for Jalouse May 2014 via visual optimism
______________________________

*I almost opened with "This may be THE WORST POSSIBLE ADVICE, but...." I really should have opened with that. Wtf do I know about cancer?! (See comments from far wiser readers below)

someone got married in that temperley dress!

too bad the groom's ensemble is blinding.
but the hair/lipstick situation is pretty satisfactory.

-- says an anonymous reader

I say, WHY NOT LET THE GROOM STEAL A LITTLE THUNDER? That suit fits him peeeurfectly.

In other news.... I am alive. Just got back from Atlanta + NYC. Ate too many potato products, drank too much coffee and toooooo many cocktails, tried on a pair of Birkenstocks and concluded that they are not for me.

Also: I may finally be a skinny jeans convert. More on that later.

(Photos by Jessica Peterson via The House That Lars Built)


p.s. There's a fresh MMOHIAC for you over here.

8 million flower petals

You know someone is going to have to have this for her wedding.

Photos by Nick Meek via designboom via Lost At E Minor via Madewell

Dear ESB: Why is life so hard?

My husband and I are backing out of a business endeavor we were super excited about. Our visions weren't lining up with our prospective partners, and we realized that we weren't willing to give what they were expecting. It's fine, but I'm back to feeling lost in the whole "what am I doing with my life?" game. I've had it with my Etsy store, and always knew I wanted to switch gears when my son started school. But I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I suck at working for other people, so I need to start my own project again…. I guess I just wish sometimes that I wasn't so PASSIONATE. I should have just been an accountant.

#whitegirlproblems

*****

I just had a very similar conversation with a writer friend -- she said something like “I feel sorry for people who don’t have something they’re passionate about” and I was like BUT WOULDN’T THAT BE EASIER

Lately I've been in a bit of a funk myself.

I don't want a real job (or: I prefer my real job to run 20 weeks/year) but I'm terrible at managing my time. I scaled back on blogging to give myself space to write, and then spent most of January and February staring at Twitter and/or playing Threes. I decided to use our tax refund to make a short film,* which feels amazing -- I've been casting! and location scouting! and talking about shots with my dp! I feel like a real director again! -- but now I have to get my act together and write the feature script that comes next and YES LIFE IS HARD

Wait, was I supposed to be giving you advice? I'm not sure I'm qualified.

All I can do is send you a ginormous hug across the interwebs and tell you to a) Cut yourself some slack, and then b) GET TO IT. It's okay to take baby steps. It doesn't have to be all good and finished and perfect all at once.



Sophie Vlaming by Hicham Riad for Marie Claire Belgium (March 2014) via visual optimism

______________________________

*Thank you, H.

What if some people don't "just know"?

Hi, ESB. 

I'm writing with a quandary that's been rolling around in my head for a while. I'm in a great relationship. He is supportive, funny, kind, handsome and all of that. We have a relationship well founded in trust and support- no questions there. We've been together for five years and have shared a home for most of that time.

Of course conversations eventually turn into questions about marriage. It isn't a huge "must do" for either of us. I would at some point like to have a celebration of love and families coming together but nothing even close to the whole cupcake-bride-with-a-big-expensive-string-of-events.

A week ago we had a really good but hard and honest conversation. We both admitted that we see so much compatibility but lament a sometimes meh sex life and aren't entirely sure if we are each other’s "the one.” We both expressed our frustration about not knowing and anxiety about whether we are the kind of people that ever might "just know.” A lot of people say they had that feeling before getting married. And I'm sure for some people it is true, but isn't there also a leap of faith a bit? If we were to break up would we just be throwing the baby out with the bath water? I've never been one to believe that marriage is the final destination or an easy time. Inevitably there are things you compromise on. I have a partnership that is mutually dependent and supportive. I love him, I'm attracted to him and I love sharing my life with him.... but what gives about knowing about "the one"? 

I'd love it if people shared how they know/don't know/knew/thought they knew/never knew they found a partner for life.

Thank you!

*****

Fuck "the one."

Is sex important to you? Is a meh sex life a dealbreaker? For either of you??

Because if it ain't working now, marriage won't fix it.



p.s. I posted a similar dilemma here. And Dan Savage has a lot to say on this subject -- listen to his podcast, I beg of you!!!

Image: Ernesto Artillo

speaking of women in suits....

I know I said I was bored with weddings, but when I saw these photos……… I MEAN COME ON

I had to post a few.

Claire + Leslie recently founded O'Harrow Clothiers, based in Silver Lake, and are already kicking ass with their Pocket Squares for Well-Mannered Rebels and button-downs for both women and men.

And, from Claire, re their suits: 

I got mine from Theory and Leslie got hers made by Requisite Clothing, highly recommend them. 

(Photos by Rad + In Love -- check out more from this rad Palm Springs wedding over on their blog)

His family bought me an engagement ring

Hi ESB,

Longtime reader, first-time writer, etc., etc. I really love your blog, and kept following it even after my wedding-ish thing, which was a year and a half ago. My question/dilemma is only semi-wedding related, but, I dunno, ESB is such a good forum for so many dilemmas of this nature. I'd love to know what you think.

My sweetie and I are pretty non-traditional. I'm queer, and he and I both are pretty non-conforming when it comes to gender presentation (I'm female, but I regularly get mistaken by strangers for a boy. I don't really mind - I like my androgynous style. And he has a very queer/feminine style). We didn't even really get engaged, but we did decide that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and, at his urging, we threw a big party to celebrate this event. (That's when I first found ESB, actually - during my months-long quest to find a non-traditional-but-still-super-special dress for our party). The party was fun! 

Then last Christmas (6 months after our party), I got a completely unexpected gift from his family: A diamond ring. Clearly an engagement ring. It was from his whole family: parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc. As I opened the gift, they all stared at me expectantly with tears in their eyes. It was like THEY were proposing to me. It was a lovely gesture, but also kind of... weird? It felt weird. I thanked them all profusely, of course. I put the ring on my finger that day, but it was too big and after Christmas was over I put it back in the box and have not taken it out since then. 

The fact that I have not worn the ring since two Christmases ago has not gone unnoticed by his family. We live near them and see them fairly frequently. Nobody's said anything about it to me, but they've asked my sweetie why I'm not wearing the ring. He's actually lied and said that I do wear it, and that they just haven't seen me wearing it. So I guess that means now I really do need to start wearing it so they don't realize he lied? But: I'm really not an engagement ring person. I'm not a jewelry person at all, actually. My sweetie knew exactly what he was doing in not buying me an engagement ring (we don't wear wedding bands, either). And it feels incredibly weird to me that his family essentially bought me an engagement ring. Maybe I'm projecting too much here, but it feels like they were disrespecting the terms of his and my relationship, and trying to impose their own terms on it (i.e. "She's not wearing a ring? But how will anyone know she belongs to him?").

So I guess my question is: What do I do about this? Do I just continue to not wear the ring, since nobody's said anything about it to me explicitly? Do I try to remember to wear the ring every time I see them? I really, really don't like it, and don't feel comfortable with a diamond engagement ring on my finger. Am I thinking too hard about all of this?

Thanks.

*****

FUCK THAT SHIT

Your sweetie needs to tell his family, very sweetly, that he lied. That you're not an engagement ring person, you never wanted an engagement ring, and while you appreciated their gesture you thought it was kind of... weird. (Because, yes, an engagement ring from his family? is HELL OF WEIRD.)

Then sell it and buy yourselves a juicer or something.

Ellinore Erichsen for Madame Figaro by Jimmy Backius via Fashion Gone Rogue

An update from the tiny house

Last week, someone pinned this photo, which led me to this post, which led me over to Reading My Tea Leaves, where I spent 4 or 5 hours reading the entire archive of tiny apartment survival tips.

Erin’s voice is a little… chipper? for my taste. And she’s a weirdo neat-freak (wipe down your window sill EVERY DAY? that's more like a once-a-year thing for me). But.

I was inspired to go through my books that have been languishing in the basement, making piles to donate, to sell, to keep. Aside from several stacks of plays I just couldn't let go of (you never know when you'll need to reference Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?), my "to keep" collection is a lot smaller than I feared it would be. If I don't remember reading the book and/or don't remember what it's about, or even if I loved it but will likely never read it again, why should I let it take up space on the shelves??*

We're also ready to let go of our enormous box of DVDs, though H insists he wants to rip them all before we sell them. And the CDs have to be crossed-checked. He's got grand plans to put all our movies/music on a hard drive that we can access wirelessly....

Anyhoo, the more stuff we get rid of, the better I feel.

In other news, California just completed the driest year on record, the squirrels are so hungry they're eating our succulents, and my skin is flaking off. But my hair looks great!

How are you?

Photo by Lisa Sorgini via Sandi Gunnett

______________________________

*Update on the shelves to come, someday. We've decided to redo them.

THIS PHOTO

pretty much sums up my mood.

mildly interested, but... dubious.

happy wednesday! (LOOK! I BLOGGED!)

image via sawako beerens. anyone know who took it?

Look who didn’t bother taking my advice

She bought the fugly Alexander McQueens and also a blue pair from Lauren Marinis and she looks pretty stoked about it, so what the eff do I know?

(Photos by Craig + Kate. See tons more + all the dets over on Rock My Wedding.)

oh shit it's a WEDDING ETIQUETTE GRENADE

Dear ESB,

I've just today had a wedding reception etiquette grenade thrown at me and I don't know what to do. I'm looking to you for your grand wisdom!

The situation: An old friend of mine and his girlfriend split up around the time that I was asking for addresses to send Save the Dates (about 9 months ago). I asked if he was certain he didn't want a plus one in case things changed between them and he said no, he definitely, definitely did not. They've been on and off for years so at that point I pretty much disregarded what he said and assumed they'd be back together. Months later I sent him his invite proper. When he didn't get back to me long after the RSVP date I got in touch to chase him and again asked if the situation had changed and if he needed a plus one. He said no, it was unlikely it would change as it had been 6 months. So I made the decision to pass his notional plus one to another guest...

You can see where this is going right? Fast forward to today and he sent an email to me and our wide circle of friends to announce that not only are he and his ex back together, but that they are also engaged. Whilst I'm happy for him, I'm also kicking myself for not keeping his space free. I feel like a small voice is singing 'told you so' inside my head. 

He hasn't said anything about my own wedding yet, but at some point we'll have to acknowledge that she hasn't been invited. And we're going to have to have a very awkward conversation. I wish I could make room (I'm used to organising dinners and receptions for work, so I'm used to jiggling around seating plans and dealing with invitee crises!) but we simply have no room left to add another person.

Really don't know how to address this with him because his fiancée is so lovely and I don't want her to feel slighted. Or even to be reminded that for a while she didn't figure in the plans for not particularly nice reasons. 

Thoughts on how I can manage this pretty awkward situation would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Not-so-good-with-confrontation Bride.

*****

All you can do is be upfront. (You're British, aren't you. So this will be a new experience.)

Call your friend and say “I’m so so happy for you guys. And I’m kicking myself for not saving you a plus one.”

That's it. End of dilemma. Grenade defused.


Edie Campbell by David Sims for Vogue Paris December 2013 via visual optimism 

Weird, Wonderful Holiday Mix from Dart DJ

I meant to get up bright and early to post this for you all..... But I went to the Dart DJ holiday party last night and then to Footsie's and drank waaaaaaay too much whiskey and also some really grody stuff I don't remember the name of that Elizabeth claims is the new Jagermeister.

Now my head hurts.

Anyhoo.


Click here for your weird, wonderful holiday mix from the Dart DJ boys. Which is actually not very holiday. It's mostly just a great, weird collection of covers and lesser-known versions of popular songs. (Even if Elvis's "Crawfish" drives you nuts, stay tuned for Hot Chip covering Joy Division!)

BONUS: If you're cheaping out on the dj for your wedding, Dart has a bunch more mixes over here. The Flashdance also mixes a mean mix.


Photo from last night by Michelle of Rad + In Love

The Engagement Is Off

Hi ESB,

I wish I was writing to you with questions about how to handle a horrible FMIL or a dress dilemma. Unfortunately, after a 6 year relationship and then a year of being engaged, my fiancé called off our wedding.

Backstory: We had started dating when we were 17 years old during our senior year of high school. We made it through 4 years of long distance (we went to different colleges, states apart) during which one of those years I spent studying abroad in Europe. Throughout our relationship, we grew up together as we both grew into adults and I continued to fall in love with him, and I truly believe he continued to fall in love with me. Even after all is said and done, I don’t doubt what we had was real. I returned home after college and we could finally begin living our lives together. About two years later, he proposed.

We didn’t have major cracks in our relationship. We had broken up twice during college, but I sincerely chalk those up to being young and trying to juggle a serious relationship, all the while figuring out who you are. I knew what our issues were but I always believed our strengths outweighed our weaknesses. But of course, there is a reason we ended up where we are. Sadly, it turns out he was not the person I thought he was. When life got even remotely difficult, he chose to run away instead of deal with things. When I first started dating him in high school, his brother once came up to me and said “you know he lies, right?” Since I was a little thrown off by the bluntness, I laughed it off. It took me seven years to realize it was not a laughing matter.

So my question is—how do you pick up the pieces once it falls apart? How do you start to untangle where your relationship ends and you begin? After seven years I feel as if my identity is so intertwined with his. I figured your no nonsense attitude might help a bit.

Best,
The almost-bride

*****

I brought in an expert on this one. An anonymous reader/writer who has been through the same wringer.

Welcome to the tribe, dear heart. You will know us by the trail of super-depressing Tumblrs. 

May I say first that I think you have done the most difficult work of all: the parsing of the good from the bad in your relationship, the keeping of the sacred. Three years out of my epic breakup and I'm still struggling with that. But bitterness is easy. You have a wild, open, generous heart. This is an immense gift. 

As for advice, shucks. I don't know. One of the worst things people said to me was, "Well, at least you weren't married!" This made me want to punch faces. Loss is loss. Sure, we all know there's a hierarchy, but it doesn't help to be reminded of it. You had made the decision to be with him. That's enough. 

On the other side of the coin, one of the best bits of advice was this: He is not as capable of being in the world as you are. (My therapist told me that. You should get one, if you haven't already.) Coping with life, all of life, all of its glorious messiness, is a serious skill. You have that. He doesn't. Your world will be richer because of it.

You will be told, and often, that you can now do all the amazing, single-life things you have always wanted to do—chop off all your hair! move to New York! get a tattoo! get a cat!—and you should do all these things (I did), or whatever else your disastrously bloody heart tells you to do, but the difficult thing to reconcile is that there is likely no part of you in your new life that could not have existed in the old. Some relationships are stifling and restrictive, yes, but it doesn't sound like yours was. The truth is that you were not set free; you were abandoned. No amount of dancing alone across the moonlit beaches of Thailand will make that any less true. What you can do is embrace the things that make you YOU and dig deeper into them—not because you couldn't before, but because you need to put something in that space. All the wine tasting classes in the world won't fill it completely. Likely nothing will. Accept that this is a permanent wound. You didn't get the wedding ring. You got an empty apartment and some white-hot pain. There is nothing you could have done or can do to change that. So you put one foot in front of the other. "No feeling is final," Rilke said. And all the weird, brave things you love or think you might love or hope to someday love, the yoga classes and knitting socials and, eventually, dating apps and shy flirting on subway platforms, are at the very least moving you away from an old feeling, and into a new. 

Last, finally, always, the most important: Hold your friends close. Now closer still. Squeeze them until you think your body might melt into theirs. Aren't they the best? They really, truly are. 

I'm so sorry. 

(Enormous hugs to you both)

Karlina Caune by Victor Demarchelier for Antidote Magazine via wool&misc

A wedding reflection

Dear ESB,

I had the task of writing myself a letter, which would be sent to me at an undisclosed time in the future (part of an arts/culture experience in my city). It was a few weeks after my wedding so I ended up writing to myself about the day, in a selfish attempt to keep it fresh in my mind and preserve the memory. This was about two months ago and I just received the letter back, and it was really lovely to read. 

I just wanted to recommend to any brides out there to write down their thoughts and feelings from their wedding day, and tuck it away for safekeeping. It might be that people already do this?! - but it was definitely worthwhile for me. While the photographs capture the details and the setting, the note helps to preserve what you were thinking and feeling. x


You got married to a wonderful man on the seaside in Cornwall a few short weeks ago. You were uncharacteristically relaxed on the morning of the wedding. B gave you a pill to help you sleep the night before. You felt it make your eyes go heavy, but your brain spun, not for too long though, and then you were asleep. In the morning everything went smoothly; you were the vision of calm. The bridesmaids were a great distraction and they made you feel spectacular. Remember that – you felt great, and calm, and ready. His eyes were welling up when you came down the aisle, and you could sense the overwhelming joy and pride in his gaze. Your heart beat a bit faster. You couldn't stop smiling. Your legs felt a little bit wobbly. You were nervous people would see them shaking slightly under your dress. You loved saying the vows, you loved staring into C’s eyes. It was the best moment. And the wedding was filled with so many wonderful moments. Being surrounded by friends and family. The way everyone cheered when you were announced into the reception room. Swirling around the dance floor to Stevie Wonder. Excitement and laughter.

This one seemed perfect for Thanksgiving week. xooo to all of you.

(Photo by Debs Ivelja)

a vegas elopement in polaroids

I dig all the photos from Stephanie & Micah's lovely little Vegas wedding (see more over on their travel blog), but the polaroids? OH MAN THE POLAROIDS. 

Expired polaroids slay me every time.

A few words from Stephanie:

So our little story goes like this...

We're both from Australia, have been together for 8 years and just recently returned to Melbourne after 15 months of overseas travel. We were never really interested in getting married, but now that I think about it, it was just that we never wanted a wedding. When we began planning our way back home to Melbourne, it felt very right to get married as a beautiful way to end the year long travel adventure we shared.

The idea to wed in Vegas honestly started out as something we'd kind of joke about. However after we discovered Gaby Jeter (our wonderful photographer) and realised that Vegas has some pretty charming aspects to it, we couldn't imagine being married anywhere else.

Organising a wedding/ elopement/ private ceremony, whatever you want to call it, in Vegas wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, and actually a bit of a nightmare at times. After reading countless online reviews about the infamous Vegas chapels, that we only imagined would be really cute and kitsch (so wrong), we saw a recurring theme of people being scammed, and we kinda didn't want to be scammed on our wedding day, you know?

Being able to choose our own celebrant and ceremony location helped to keep the level of Vegas tacky-ness pretty low. Because neither of us had ever been to Vegas before, we relied on Google maps to help us find photo locations (like the gorgeous Tod Motor Hotel featured in our pictures) and then Gaby would confirm if the colourful mid-century buildings we liked were still standing.

All in all, I can't recommend eloping enough (Vegas or not). It's incredibly romantic, it's fun, and you get to spend the whole day with your beloved prancing around in beautiful clothes with (maybe) the biggest secret you've ever kept. Then you get to call your family and friends back home and share the beautiful, happy news. Our parents and a couple of others did already know - couldn't quite do that to them!

Now that we're back home, we're having a little party to celebrate our marriage - minus any wedding stress. Just an opportunity to wear my dress again(!) and celebrate with our nearest and dearest.

- Stephanie & Micah


Dets on Stephanie's attire + her unanswered Dear ESB are over here if you missed em.

(POLAROIDDDDDDDDDS by Gaby Jeter)