Showing posts with label bathing suits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bathing suits. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Miamify my wardrobe


Dear ESB,

I am moving to MIAMI in the fall for work. I read your fantastic guide to the city and am so so excited for the food, the beach, Wynwood, speaking Spanish, and a new place.

But. I'm nervous, too. I have moved around a ton and always found a great community and made a great life, but this is going to be worlds apart from the Midwestern and East Coast cities where I have spent my whole life. 

My fear of moving is manifesting in the particular anxiety that I don't know how to dress in Miami (I don't think I will have much use for the oversize sweater/short skirt/wool tights outfits that I have perfected). 

I get that fixing my clothes isn't going to resolve the larger problem, but humor a girl. I have a bit of a bonus coming my way soon -- if you were going to spend about $500 to update your wardrobe for such a move, what would you get?

Besos.

*****

WHO SAYS the right wardrobe won't fix everything?? I would never make that ludicrous claim.

Since I have not once set foot in Miami, I brought back the badass Caro, our resident Miami expert....

Hola!

The key to being happy while living in Miami: Live like you’re on vacation. Or at least pretend like you’re on vacation as much as you possibly can. I.E. Go to the beach, drink Miami Vices, wear shorts everywhere.

My six tips for MIAMI-fying your wardrobe:

1. Neon is a neutral. Over here it’s summer year-round, which means you can wear color all the time. Ever since neon arrived at J.Crew, I’ve been keeping these shorts + t-shirts in heavy rotation.


Editor's Note: Stock up! That shit is on sale.

2. Always bring a sweater. Miami air conditioning is not subtle. Find a goes-with-everything cardigan [also on sale] you can leave in your purse because the transition from 90F to 65F every single time you walk into a building isn’t something your body acclimates to all that quickly.

3. Always have on hand: emergency flip-flops and emergency heels. After-work thunderstorms and after-work happy hours are equally likely – you should be prepared for either. Keep a pair of flip flops in your purse to protect your work flats in case of tropical weather, and a pair of black pumps in your car to switch into once you get to the bar.

4. You need at least one dependable clubbing/bar-crawling outfit. Bar-hopping starts at 11:30 PM at the earliest and everyone outside of Wynwood will expect you to wear heels. I default to colorful stilettos and a black minidress I bought at Forever 21, but if I had money to burn I’d go with this BCBG body-con dress [sale sale sale].

5. You need two bathing suits: one to look cute in and one to tan in. And if you heed my advice about living like you’re on vacation, you’re probably going to wear them out pretty quickly.... so consider your tanning bikini an investment. I like the bandeau tops from Victoria Secret because they’re not egregiously expensive and even though they have that fun strappy back detail they don’t actually leave horrendous tan lines.

Editor's Note: PLS WEAR SUNSCREEN. BOTH OF YOU.

6. Frizz-Ease. Because the humidity is real.

*****

And a few updated Miami recommends because my lady Caro knows how to live......

Eat: Butcher Shop, Khong River House, Swine, Uvaggio.

Drink: Broken Shaker (it’s permanent now, and still awesome), The Reagent Cocktail Club, the Martini Bar at the Raleigh Hotel, Wynwood Brewing Company, AC’s Icees.

(Image via Freehand Miami, home of the Broken Shaker)

Be Merry: Spend a day at the Standard, go get cinnamon buns at Knaus Berry Farm, check out the new art museum, rent some kayaks, host a bbq at the beach.

Just because you’re living like you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you need to pay vacation prices for your booze. Find reasonably-priced craft beer without driving to BFE (“Butt-Fucking-Egypt”, aka Kendall, aka, really really far) at: this gas station, this unassuming convenience store, this other unassuming convenience store. And this gas station has a tapas restaurant and an imported wine selection with great priced.

In my original post, I told you the wonders of Publix (cookies, pastelitos, etc), but now that you’re going to be a local, you need to know about PubSubs. Publix Sub Sandwiches: you can order them online ahead of time at most locations now, and getting a chicken finger sub to pair with a cucumber-lime Gatorade and some chilled pinot grigio for a day on the beach is nirvana. Trust me. They put chicken fingers IN THE SANDWICH. You’re welcome.

Finding parking on South Beach takes the same sort of blind faith ancient cultures put into rain dances – believe there will be parking and it shall appear. Be patient. Also, be sure to download the PayByPhone parking app – you can add more time directly from your phone and if your address is local you'll save 20%.

No one is on time anywhere.

Probably because they’re looking for parking.

But don’t take public transportation, seriously. That stranger who punched my friend in the face on the train, he’s punched other people now.

Uber is still not available, but UberX and Lyft are operating illegally anyway and staying true to the city’s time-honored tradition of ignoring most vehicular-related legislature (using your turn signal is widely regarded as a sign of weakness).

Bienvenidos!


Image at top: Zara S/S 2013 via Style Pantry (Maybe more Palm Springs than Miami? Miami style scares me a little, you guys.)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

No Brooklyn/Wisconsin Wedding After All...


Hi ESB-

I wrote to you a while back and you gave me excellent, excellent recommendations for my Wisconsin wedding party in Brooklyn. Perhaps you remember. Unfortunately, he walked out on me a month ago for a younger woman, which was three weeks before the wedding. Not to air our dirty laundry or anything, but I would like to let everyone know how courteous both Love & Brain videography and reBar were in returning deposits and wishing me well.

In the ultimate of ultimate revenge/karma/serendipity, the day that word got out about the cancellation, I was offered a job teaching for a study abroad program on a cruise ship next summer. My summer will be spent cruising the Med, and spending 4-day free-for-all trips in Morocco, Turkey, Greece, Italy, France, Malta, etc. etc. You get the picture.

So, I am looking to you for two things from you and your readers (and I hope that no one minds that these are strictly ANTI-wedding needs):

First, and most importantly, swimsuits. I have recently become a size 2 (for the first time ever down from an 8!!), so I would like to wear my first bikini, and I need to be absolutely vicious! The options that I like so far are: Shakuhachi [pictured above] and Plhi, and I would like for it to be under $100 (grad student income).


Second, I'd like to pool some ideas from your travelling readers about inexpensive MUSTS in my port cities (listed here). I also plan to spend a week in England before the trip begins.

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

*****

I know you aren't writing in for a pep talk or anything but FUCK THAT GUY AND YOU ARE BETTER OFF. I know you know that.

On to more important things. That Shakuhachi bikini has been sold out ever since Amy Merrick wore it in Tulum........... But I actually dig the etsy one. And I appreciate that Size I is rated to fit a 4-6. (Because, from one woman who has gone through the post-breakup-awesome-weight-loss thing to another, you may go up to a 4 pretty quick. Which is NOT a bad thing.)

So much love to you, lady. Keep on kicking ass.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Please help me find a bathing suit!!


Dear ESB,

Next month, I'm getting married and going to South America for our honeymoon in the Andes mountains. This won't be a beach-y vacation by any means, but there will be some occasions to wear a swimsuit (hot springs, and maybe a pool).

I'm an athletic, hourglass size 10 - I am pretty comfortable in my skin and I'm not trying to find a suit that creates the illusion that I stopped drinking beer or eating pie after I got engaged (I did not).

Last spring, I bought one of those Jantzen vintage-inspired one-pieces thinking that hey, finally a suit for the busty pale lady with a small waist. But I bought it in turquoise (because that color was the most discounted) and I am pretty sure it reads matronly and not vintage-hot. Also, I had it hanging to dry in the bathroom and a girlfriend remarked on it and asked (innocently!) if my mom was visiting. I was crushed.

Can you help me out? I don't really care for precious details, no bows. And I would rather show my cellulite than wear a suit with a skirt on it.

Thanks!!!


*****

Feel like shopping, you guys?

Are there even any suits left now that it's August??

Photo: Jean Patchett by Serge Balkin for Vogue (1950) via myvintagevogue