What should a cool Brazilian girl do in PARIS, Rome + Copenhagen?

Dear ESB...

Hey there!! (Remember me? I wrote the post about São Paulo...)

I am traveling with my family to Europe on April, and I was wondering if you are in the mood for another city-guide type of post.

We're visiting Paris, Rome and Copenhagen. I have never been to Rome, so I'm super excited to see all the touristy stuff, and major landmarks...

I have been in Paris before, and would love for some not so popular, but equally cool places to see and to eat and to go out at night (my brother is a tango dancer so at least one night we're book for dancing)...I'm not planning to splurge on shopping, perhaps a visit to Monoprix...heheh...

And Copenhagen, of course, we chose for the price of the plane tickets....heheh...and we have no idea what to expect or visit over there, and all that comes to mind is Hamlet and The Little Mermaid. I visited the Lonely Planet and discovered that is a jazz-loving city. And that's it!

If you find someone to send advice on either city I would be deeply and forever thankful!

<3

*****

It took me FOREVER to get someone to write up Paris. I think maybe Parisian women are too cool for ESB?

Anyhoo. The adorable (Irish) Badger and Bear finally volunteered, and when I saw this photo on her blog I knew she could handle the job....

Most of the things I love most about Paris involve food, wine, and people-watching, so this guide reflects that. I think most of the museums are over-rated, though I do make an exception for the marble polar bear in the Musée d'Orsay, and I do have some nostalgia for the Musée Rodin, since I proposed to my fiancé in a tiny cafe nearby.

(Praline Macaron from Pierre Hermé)

For food and wine and wandering all together, I still think the Marais is worth spending an afternoon in, although many think it's too gentrified now. This was historically the Jewish quarter, and still boasts a very popular Yiddish bakery (Sacha Finkelstein's) which the Parisians adore, although personally I think you're better off grabbing lunch to go from L'As Du Fallafel nearby. The Marais is now home to a lively gay scene, which makes for excellent people-watching and bar-hopping. La Belle Hortense (a wine-bar/book shop) and Le Petit Fer à Cheval (proper old Parisian hang-out with a stunning marble horse shoe-shaped bar) are some of my favourite watering holes here.

There plenty of great open-air food markets all around Paris, but one of my favourites is Bastille Market (Thursdays and Sundays), not far from the Marais. Here, the stall-holders compete loudly for the attention of passersby, and even the hippest young things tote granny trolleys for their baguettes and fromage. Also, the Promenade Plantée (which starts near the market) is worth a look, it's a public garden and walkway planted on an old railway line overlooking Paris, and apparently inspired the creation of the High Line in New York.

(La Promenade Plantée by Amy Toensing via HiP Paris)

If the Marais isn't edgy enough for you, then Belleville is what you're after. Properly gritty and hip, with prostitutes touting their wares most afternoons, the spectacular graffiti displays on Rue Denoyez make the adventure worthwhile. Grab a drink at Aux Folies and watch the world go by. Also make sure to visit Au Rouleau de Printemps for the best Vietnamese sandwiches I've yet had in Europe. Oh and the step on which Edith Piaf was said to be born is also nearby. From here, you can also easily visit the Buttes Chaumont, a beautiful, if lesser-known Parisian park, where the Temple of Sybil sits atop a hill, and there's even a film festival here in September, where they show movies in the park after dark.

The quintessential Parisian park though has to be the Luxembourg Gardens. My love for it may or may not be influenced by an amazing macaron experience I once had there (involving a giant raspberry macaron, stuffed with vanilla cream and fresh raspberries) - but in any case, it's worth a visit. It often has live music in the summer months under the bandstand, and has great paths for running on, plenty of ice-cream and waffle vendors around the edges of the park, and deck-chairs for people watching from and flicking cigarette ash at pigeons. The French Senate is housed in the old palace in the grounds of the Garden, and is spectacularly beautiful inside, so if you can manage to fit in a tour, it's well worth it.

If you want to play at being Amelie (or better yet, Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina), take a stroll through Montmatre. Dodge the hawkers offering to braid your hair or make you a friendship bracelet and climb the steps to Sacre Coeur (or if you're lazy, hop on the funicular), to peer out over the city through the viewfinders at the top of the hill. Montmatre itself has become quite touristy, but the nearby area Abbesses is quieter, and I think cooler. Try the tiny, crazy Argentinian bar Les Canons, or the excellent eatery Le Petit Parisien, where you MUST order the 'poulet roti de nos enfances' - which comes with dreamy puréed potatoes and a sprig of thyme, still smouldering from the fire.

(Parisian Hipsters by Théo Gosselin via I Like to Waste My Time) 

Finally, the two properly touristy things which I think are worth doing, are to visit Père Lachaise cemetery, final resting place of Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Stein, Marcel Marceau, and Jim Morrisson among others), and of course to have macaroons at Hermé. I also highly recommend a stroll along the banks of the Seine - with an ice-cream in hand from Berthillion. Notable stops on your stroll should include the Marché des Fleurs et Oiseaux on the Left Bank, and the string of pet shops on the Right Bank, which reliably, have puppies sleeping on top of each other in the windows.

Since you asked specifically about places to go dancing - it's not my forte, but a reliable source tells me that Le Pompon, a former synagogue in the 10th arr. is good fun - the bar upstairs plays swing and rockabilly, and downstairs it's more of a hip hop vibe, although sometimes there are live bands and guest DJs. If you want to see and be seen, you could try Le Montana in St Germain des Pres. April is probably a bit early for this, but the Jardin Tino Rossi has outdoor dancing (including tango!) in the summer time.

I couldn't reliably tell you anything about where to go in Rome, as the last time I was there I was a teenager, BUT, I did go to Copenhagen on a work trip last year and I really liked it - full of friendly hipsters - but it is expensive. My recommendations are Soupanaturel for lunch (as the name suggests, only serves soup, and a percentage of profits go to the homeless), Dyrehaven for a slightly scrubbed-up dive bar with excellent Danish beer, the Laundromat Cafe for lounging, reading and drinking, Sweet Treat for coffee and macaroons, and Fiskebaren for the BEST. FISH. EVER.

(Fiskebaren via The Sunday Times UK)

Everyone in Copenhagen cycles, so I'd recommend renting a bike as a fun way to get around the city.

[Editor's Note: I tried to get all the little French accent marks in the right places but I'm sure I missed a few and now I sorta wonder why I bothered.]

At top: Miss Tic via Dreemzology

Where should a couple of newlywed yupsters live in the BAY AREA?

Hi There!

It seems you (and your readers) are infinitely wise when it comes to many things, so here's my current dilemma.

FH and I are moving to the Bay Area after we get married in Chicago this summer. We've both lived in Chicago since we were 18 and came here for college. We'll both be working in the Valley; let's call our companies "Dapple" and "Schmoogle." We both abhor long commutes, but we're on the hipster side of yuppie so also enjoy bars and restaurants with plenty of handlebar mustaches to be seen.

Bottom line: where should we live? It seems like a nearly impossible question. We're used to living in the city (currently we live in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago) but the thought of commuting 2 hours a day sounds more than a little bit nauseating.

I'm lost and need help!

Thanks ever so,
SF Stupid

*****

For fun, I asked two different Bay Area ladies to offer their opinions. Here's J, who lives in San Francisco proper:

The kids who were cool before they started working for Google live in the Mission. And that's where you go for moustaches, best restaurants, finest cocktails, plus the occasional rock show, art opening, cool boutique. There are Google buses, and probably an Apple bus, so you don't have to commute; you just get on, log in and ride. Since you're from Chicago you probably won't be turned off by occasional gang violence or multiculturalism. I'm sure there are **some** hip things happening in Palo Alto, San Jose, Cupertino or Sunnyvale but I bet you'll feel like you're living in an 80's suburb after being in Chicago.

I don't know where the actual cool kids live, probably in the Tenderloin or the Outer Sunset.


And here's Celia, who just bought a condo in Oakland:

Hello, SF Stupid, and welcome to the Bay Area... where buying produce that isn't grown locally is almost worse than being a Republican, pedestrians take the right of way to whole new heights, and everyone's go-to fashion accessory is their favorite winter coat. If you do it right, the Bay is one of the best places to live in the world. Yes, THE WORLD. 

The simple answer to your question is, unfortunately, you will HAVE TO commute. We're talking CALIFORNIA real estate here, and you simply can't have your cake and eat it too. The plain truth about the South Bay is that there just isn't a lot of CITY going on down there. The closest thing you're going to get to any sort of bustling city environment would be downtown San Jose. I happen to have lots of family in SJ, so I'm fairly familiar, and it just doesn't cut it for me. Though it's a big city, in many ways SJ has a "sleepy town" vibe to it. And the only handlebar mustaches you'll come across are rocked by Mexican men wearing big, fat, bronze belt buckles (the original hipsters, IMHO).

The good news is that you have options when it comes to your commute. You're not the only people working for "Dapple" and "Schmoogle" that are attracted to city life, so getting to work doesn't have to be horrendous. I'm assuming you've looked into the shuttle system that has a wide variety of stops in the city and will drop you off right at the front doors of Dapple and Schmoogle? I have personally not had the privilege of riding one of these fancy buses, but I've only heard great things. Cush seats for napping, free wifi, and I'm pretty sure I remember a friend of mine telling me the shuttle he takes to that dreaded valley even provides coffee and snacks. Lady, if you ask me, that commute sounds like a DREAM.

You can also look into riding Caltrain. All I know about those trains is that their scheduling tends to be off. I'm a Bart rider myself (and no, Bart doesn't make the magic trip to SV), and since Bart trains are rarely more than a minute off, an unreliable train would drive me to insanity. That being said, if punctuality ain't really your thing, then it might be worth it to you. 

Since all of that is out of the way, let's talk neighborhoods that would be good for you. Now, if you were on the hipster side of hipster, I'd send you straight to The Mission... but let's not tell the Mission hipsters I said that, because the last thing we want is for them to get their sensitive sally hipster panties all in a bunch, mkay? Being on the hipster side of yuppie (and you should know that I'm not entirely sure I know what that means... do you flip through J Crew catalogues while enjoying some PBR?), I have a feeling that your best two options will be Noe Valley and Bernal Heights. I spoke to a good friend of mine who is a Chicago native, and from what I gather, Logan Square is probably closer to Bernal Heights. AND seeing as you don't have kids, I think that would also make Bernal Heights a better fit, but those SV geeks (ahem, hipster yuppies) do love them some Noe Valley, so it would definitely be worth a look into. Both of those neighborhoods will offer you nearby restaurants complete with the occasional handlebar mustache. What's not to love?

And lastly, I will give you the other side of the spectrum, San Francisco's super scary stepsister, Oakland. Probably didn't even consider Oakland, did you? That's ok... most people wouldn't. 

[Incidentally, J lives in Noe Valley, the neighborhood we grew up in. When I told her I'd also asked a friend from Oakland to weigh in on this, she said "Hilarious 'cause I forgot all about Oakland. SF snob!"]

Ok, so Oakland isn't exactly closer to the dreaded SV. If anything, it's a touch farther. BUT, if you take into account the traffic you will sit in getting in and out of San Francisco, your commute from Oakland shouldn't be much longer. Oh, and those fancy shuttles I was talking about earlier? They also make stops in the East Bay. As for Oakland being super scary, it is. I live in Oakland, and I'm not going to lie to you. HOWEVER, in no way shape or form is it scarier than San Francisco. These are big cities we're talking about, and since you live in Chicago, I'm sure that you're well aware that big cities have super scary crime attached to them. It's just part of it. That being said, Oakland has some insanely rad neighborhoods that are also worth checking out. So if Oakland is, or does become an option, try looking into the Rockridge and Piedmont Ave. neighborhoods. I have a feeling they'll be the right glass slipper for you.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and tons of luck to you on the big move. 


Photo by Todd Hido of my favorite Noe Valley Victorian, occupied (natch) by an interior designer and a professional skater

Wedding planning is bringing out the worst....

Hi ESB,

Please help - I need your (and your readers) help on some drama that's come up. 

A bit of background: we live ~ 6 hours away from our families, are not religious, and want a chill outdoor wedding close to where we live. My parents, specifically my mom, want us to get married where THEY live, in a church - they are very Catholic - and have the reception in a "regular" venue like a hall or somesuch. 

After many awkward, painful, and kinda passive aggressive conversations about faith, family, etc., we have reached something of a compromise with them by choosing to get married on a family friend's property near where they live. The friends have 30 acres of beautiful land located about an hour away from where my parents live, and we'll have both the (secular) ceremony and reception on the property. There are a couple of very pretty meadows, and a large empty building on the property that can be a backup in case of either crazy heat or rain. Best of all, it's FREE. My mom has made her disapproval known of all the other venues I suggested, but she suggested this property so I was sure that once we settled on that option that everything would be hunky-dory.  

NOT SO. My mom is a champion guilt-tripper and feels that outdoor weddings are a "trendy fad" and actually straight up asked me if I really and truly wanted an outdoor wedding or if i was just having one "to keep up with my hipster friends." She also is constantly reminding me of the numerous stories she claims to have heard of outdoor weddings being besieged by rain and/or heat and how everyone hated them and left super early. 

She has also said that someone as anxiety-prone as myself shouldn't have an outdoor wedding since it's way too stressful to worry about the weather during the entire process of planning. I realize that I sound like a child with all the complaints about my mom's BS (for the record, I'm 28), but despite her faults I really love my mom and have always envisioned having her be a part of the planning process. Wedding planning is bringing out the worst in me, as I'm a people pleaser with strong tendencies towards anxiety and catholic guilt (just like alec baldwin says ... it never leaves you!) 

Anyways, I'll wind this up since this is getting crazy long: basically, my confidence in what I want for my wedding day has eroded to the point where I'm basically convinced that it's going to rain and everyone will judge me and hate me for dragging them out into a soggy meadow to watch me get married. I find myself staying up late either obsessing over long-term weather forecasts or looking longingly at photos of destination weddings in Italy. I also feel sad that what I hoped would be a happy time is essentially one of the shittier periods in my life. 

Please talk some sense into me.  

Thanks!

*****

OUTDOOR WEDDINGS ARE THE BEST WEDDINGS.

And your mom is being an asshole. She straight-up called you "anxiety-prone"? Tell her she's the one who's fucking anxiety-prone and it's rubbing off on you and if she doesn't chill out and start doing some fucking yoga (or maybe take a B-complex? everyone should take a B-complex) you'll run off and get married at the fucking courthouse like a real hipster.


Lydia Carron by Takahiro Ogawa for Amica December 2012 via Fashion Gone Rogue

Good Morning, Peoplefriends!

I will now be attempting to make quick-pickled radishes. Pretty, aren't they?

As I mentioned on Twitter, we're going to a super fun, halfway vegan, semi-glut free, verrrrrrrrrrrry hipster t-giving dinner, and I wanted to bring something a little unusual.

I found two recipes (1, 2) that look promising, but I can't decide whether to split the difference or make two separate batches....

I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.





Photo courtesy of She Simmers

A Rather Non-Standard Tour of London

Hi ESB – meeting my fiancé in London for a long weekend at the end of October. He goes to school in Ireland, so we have been to London together before. Looking for some suggestions of things to do/eat outside the standards (we’ve already done Buckingham, London Eye, Westminster, etc.).

Thanks a bunch.

*****

When this reader volunteered to tackle London, I had NO IDEA how far beyond the standard her write-up would be.

I hope you like taxidermy! And jars of moles! And olde-ass pubs! (Okay, I guess olde-ass pubs are pretty classic.)

Anyhoo. Without further ado, here's Patricia.....


Travel:

The first thing to mention (which you already know since you've already been) is that London is big. Luckily the public transport is quite good – provided you don't have a great attachment to the idea of personal space – and you can get pretty much everywhere you'll need to by bus or tube. The tube is very easy to navigate with its iconic map, and it's quicker than the bus, but if you know which bus you want and where to catch it from, that’s a better way of seeing the city (from the top deck at the front) and getting a sense of how the areas bleed together.

On the basis that you will use at least some public transport, then the first thing to do is buy an Oyster card (a swipe card that you can charge up with money for individual tickets or purchase a day/week travelcard on) rather than buying paper tickets which are sold at such a premium I've heard it referred to as a 'tourist tax'.  The few minutes it takes to fill out the form is definitely worth it.

If you are a confident cyclist then give the Boris Bikes a go – it's a relatively new scheme introduced during the reign of our current mayor of blond absurdity, Boris Johnson, where you can pick up a bike at any station across central London and return it to any other docking station around town within the half hour for a small fee. They are fun, particularly in the park, but London is not the most cycle-friendly city and cab and bus drivers can be somewhat aggressive. That said, I am a notorious bike wimp, my husband cycles everywhere and you're probably braver than me.

That said, although London is not 'walkable' in the sense of walking all of it or across it, walking is really the best way to see the city. My favourite longer walk, to see old and new, industrial and fancy aspects that make up London, is along the Regents Canal from Canary Wharf, up through Hackney to Islington, stopping for a drink in Angel, re-joining the canal on the other side, through to Camden, then Regents Park including the zoo and then up past the massive mansions to Little Venice and Paddington (see route here).


Big ones worth doing:

One of the great things about London is the free museums. I know you probably want to avoid the over-touristed honeypots (and rightly so) but there are a few of the big ones that are totally worth visiting.

The British Museum in Bloomsbury is totally one of my favourite places in London and even if the massive collection of Roman, Greek… isn't really your thing, then take a walk through from Senate House to Museum Street as the Great Court is an awesome vaulted space filled with soft cool light and a real contrast to the wood panelling elsewhere.

(Great Court at the British Museum via Foster + Partners)

The Victoria & Albert Museum is one of the Big Three museums just south of Hyde Park (the others being the Natural History Museum, which is great but uncomfortably crowded, and the Science Museum, which has an awesome interactive area in the basement if you've a kid with you). It’s a gorgeous building, has a great collection of fashion, textiles and ceramics among lots more and there are usually some interesting exhibitions on. Also, have lunch in the V&A café with its lovely tiled rooms and pretty decent quiche.

The Museum of London and National Portrait Gallery are also great if you are nearby.  But please do steer clear of Madame Tussauds, the Tower of London and Harrods. Overcrowded and awful.


Bloomsbury – Holborn – The Strand:

If you are into zoology, animals or just taxidermied esoterica then The Grant Museum of Zoology at University College London in Bloomsbury is small but packed to the ceiling with around 67,000 specimens preserved in various ways, including my favourite jar of moles. For just £12 you can also adopt a specimen for a year and have your name displayed on a small plaque in front of the relevant animal (although most of the exciting big ticket items are already taken, we just adopted a lizard that sprays poisonous blood from its eyes for our son).

From the Grant Museum you can walk through Bloomsbury and the British Museum, down to Sir John Soane's Museum just off Lincoln's Inn Fields. It is the lovingly preserved home of architect and collector Sir John Soanes and was described by the Oxford Dictionary of Architecture as “one of the most complex, intricate, and ingenious series of interiors ever conceived” – it's crammed with so many paintings, statues, models and antiques that the house itself has been adjusted in order to integrate and display. Another high volume, small space experience.

A little further down on the Strand, Somerset House is a lovely neo-Classical building (now, incongruously, home to the Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs) around a central courtyard which has fountains and cinema in the summer and skating in the winter and is an oddly quiet space to sit and have a coffee. It also has a terrace out back overlooking the Thames. And the Old Bank of England pub (which used to be the bank of England), right next to the Royal Courts of Justice on the Strand, is quite impressive surroundings.


South Bank - The River

Everyone will tell you to walk along the South Bank and that's because they're right, it's nice. Start at St Pauls, across the Millennium footbridge to the Tate Modern (another big one worth visiting) along the South Bank and up past the British Film Institute, National Film Theatre and the Hayward Gallery to Waterloo Bridge and then Westminster opposite the Houses of Parliament. If you head across the footbridge after Waterloo Bridge to Charing Cross station, stop for a bottle of wine and an illicit affair at a candlelit table under the low stone arches of the cellar at Gordon's wine bar, the 'oldest wine bar in London'.

(Gordon's Wine Bar via Adventures in Pubs)

The Tate Modern has a good permanent collection (including glorious Rothko) and there is also a temporary exhibition, finishing this Sunday 28 October, using the underground spaces below the gallery called 'The Tanks' and designed by Herzog & De Meuron (they of, among other things, the Beijing Olympics Bird's Nest Stadium and this year's Serpentine Pavilion).

The River Thames is geographically and historically very much at the heart of the city – if you like outdoorsy type activities (and have brought waterproofs with you, which, if you haven't you really should – London in the Autumn can be WET) then a different way of seeing parts of the city is by kayak. I have done a sunrise kayak on the Regents Canal and it was an oddly peaceful experience – I haven't braved the Thames, but I want to do this one now.

Pro-tip: the 453 bus is a cheap alternative to a sightseeing bus. You can catch it from Lower Marsh after having an excellent espresso at the a lovely ex-scooter repair shop Scooterworks and it takes an absurdly touristic route from Waterloo, across Westminster Bridge, past the Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus, and Regents Street up to Regents Park where you can hop off and wander down Marylebone High Street which is fancy, but quite nice. Alongside all the organic bakeries there is VV Rouleaux for trimming shopping, Skandium for overpriced Scandinavian style, my favourite, lovely, woodpanelled, organised-by-geographical-area bookstore, Daunt Books, and Tracey Neuls for weird looking shoes. You'll come out onto Wigmore Street at the back of Selfridges department store.
(Bus route here.)

(The Tanks courtesy of the Tate Modern)

Clerkenwell – Barbican

The Barbican is a big arts centre and residential estate built in the 1960s and a famous example of brutalist architecture. It's pretty interesting and you can take an architecture tour on Wednesdays, Thursdays and weekends, and, if you don't fancy the trek out to the glasshouses at Kew Gardens, on weekends you can visit the Barbican conservatory – the second biggest conservatory in London. The arts centre hosts many and various film, music and art exhibitions – currently including the London International Animation Festival.

Around Clerkenwell and the city there are all sorts of old da vinci code sort of stuff including the Temple Church built by the Knights Templar. Have a wander around inner or middle temple if you can – this is where barristers chambers are. Freemasons Hall is between Holborn and Covent Garden. This area also has some cool old pubs including The Jerusalem Tavern (current building dating from 1720) – it's really tiny, so get there well before 5pm if you want to get a seat up at the back. And Ye Olde Mitre built in 1546 behind Hatton Garden – another one to visit early in the day as later it gets full of chainsmoking lawyers in the alley outside.

                                         
Spitalfields – Brick Lane – Hackney:

If you're not interested in big museums and shiny things, then East London is the more interesting part to wander around – Broadway Market and London Fields are full of hipsters and nice coffee. Head to  Columbia Road flower market on a Sunday morning - it is packed full of people but quite fun. The Last Tuesday Society has a shop on Mare Street full of curiosities.

(Little Shop of Horrors via WorthPoint)

Spitalfields Market and the Truman Brewery on Brick Lane are great places to browse around and eat things – particularly curry and a salt beef bagel from the Brick Lane Beigel Bake.

A great aspect of London is the preponderance of parks, so you really should spend some time in one – I think everyone has their 'own' park and my latest greatest discovery is the Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park near Mile End tube. If you're East in the daytime and like woodland and overgrown tombstones then it is definitely worth a wander.

Wilton's Music Hall in Wapping is the oldest surviving Music Hall in London and a good place to go for a drink in the cool old theatrey décor of the Mahogany Bar.

(Salt beef bagel from Brick Lane Beigel Bake by Rob Greig via Time Out)

Sad walrus

As an addendum, as it's waaaaaay South in Forest Hill SE23, but The Horniman Museum is a gem – it has everything from amazing aquariums, to a poor sad taxidermied walrus. [See photo at top]

[Editor's Note: Please feel free to offer more restaurant suggestions in the comments. Patricia shied away, freely admitting that most of the foods she likes "involve offal."]

You know you're running a hipster wedding blog when....

Hey ESB,
I really love the dress in the Feist Mushaboom music video, but didn't have any luck finding out what it is or something similar on google. 
Got any ideas for me?
Thanks! Love the blog

*****

You're playing a joke on me, right??

I can just picture you and your friends giggling about how ESB spent three days on the internet looking for some dress Feist bought in Paris in 2005.

I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT.

What should we do with 2 weeks in JAPAN?

Dear ESB,

I'm planning a trip to Japan with my husband this upcoming November. We'll be flying into Tokyo but are open to visiting other cities. I'm a little overwhelmed by the massive number of things to do in this amazing country. Any tips on great things to do/see and how to structure a 2 week trip? 

Thank you!

*****

A long-time reader stepped up to the plate for this one....

Sarah is a native of Colorado who unexpectedly fell in love with Seattle and the PNW. She moved to Japan six months after getting married, where she now spends her time drinking coffee, eating raw fish, blogging, and angsting about her homemaker status.

Here is Sarah's guide to travel in Japan, complete with train, toilet, and "morning seto" tips, a couple of key Japanese phrases, and (gasp) a little bit of etiquette:

First off, you need a Japan Railways (JR) Pass. Japan has outstanding public transportation and an extensive line of high-speed trains that will get you anywhere you need to go, but it’s not cheap. The JR Pass will allow you unlimited travel on any JR train, including a Reserved seat on the swanky Shinkansen (aka the ‘Bullet Train’), for a set period of time. The passes are $357 for one week, $569 for two, and $727 for three. Not sure you’ll travel enough to warrant it? You can check train prices here. (The Tokyo-Kyoto-Tokyo hot lap alone makes the weekly pass worth it.) For a detailed breakdown on the JR Pass, read this. You have to purchase and pick it up before you enter Japan and have to activate it once you arrive (can do so at the airport or at a major train station). Your time begins at that point, so if you’re staying a week and a half and the first bit is in Tokyo, don’t register the pass until you want to begin travelling.

Speaking of the Shinkansen: they are amazing. The best way to travel. Clean, fast, reliable, frequent. There are unreserved (自由席, jiyūseki) and reserved (指定席, shiteiseki) seats. Since you’re travelling in style (read: JR Pass) you can get a Reserved ticket for no additional cost, and it’ll give you an actual assigned seat. Stop by the station’s JR Office (they usually speak English) to get the ticket. Live large and ask for a window seat. There are varying speeds of the trains. The JR Pass holders cannot ride the Nozomi (のぞみ), the quickest one, so make sure not to hop on those. The other ones are okay and only a bit slower.

To really experience the Shinkansen, you’ll need to get an Asahi and Eki-Ben before you get on. At the station, usually on the platform, there are shops selling bento boxes, which are Japanese boxed lunches, and they are delicious. Grab one of these, grab an Asahi beer, and get on the train. Trains stop briefly, so move fast. If you miss a train, panic, then remember they run about every 10 minutes (though you’ll have to ride in the unreserved car if you missed your reserved train). Regain composure.

Also: The Japanese line up. For subways, for trains, for everything. You line up in the subway, move to the side when the doors open, let everyone off, then get on the train. It’s a beautiful thing. Look for the end of the line and try not to cut. (You probably will accidently cut a couple times. It’s okay; happens to the best of us.)

To determine your ticket price on subways, look at the map and find the stop where you want to go. There will be a price next to it (say ¥150). Buy a ticket for that amount and put it in the ticket machine booth when you enter and exit. You won’t need to say your actual destination when you purchase a ticket, just buy it for the price.

Now that you’ve got transportation down, a couple other things that will make travel here easier. Cash. Japan is still, for the most part, a cash based society. Hotels will take credit cards, but most other places won’t, so stock up on some ¥. The best place to get cash is either Post Office ATMs or those at 7-11 (they seem to be the most reliable in accepting international credit cards). Japan is a very safe country, so as long as you’re smart and careful, I wouldn’t worry too much about carrying money on your person. Tipping isn’t a thing here. Smoking still is common, so be ready. Grab a handkerchief and some travel Kleenex, as some public restrooms don’t have toilet paper or paper towels (though most are decently clean). And when you have a choice, pick ‘Western’ toilets over ‘Japanese.’ Trust me.

Dress up a bit. People are pulled together here. That said, pack light. You’ll be dragging your suitcase up and down stairs, in and out of subways, and through some crowded sidewalks. On that note: rollie bag. Trash cans can be hard to find, so I’d recommend a purse that is big enough to hold an empty cup of coffee until you return to your hotel.

Now for WHERE to go:


TOKYO (3 days)

Obviously. You’ll probably fly in here. It’s a fun, big city. Stay in a hotel on the Yamanote (Green) JR line. The city is so flipping big it can be hard to traverse and staying on a major rail line will help. You cannot walk from neighborhood to neighborhood very easily. Before you book, use Google maps to see how long of a walk it is from your place to the nearest subway stop. Aim for less than 10 minutes. I usually use HotelsCombined to find a place; Agoda is another good place.

A couple notes:
1. Hotels commonly charge by the person in Japan. (You’re not being ripped off.)
2. Hotels are tiny here. Please don’t bitch about it. They just are.

Roppongi is the place for nightlife. I like Shinjuku and Shibuya for a great mix of day and night activity. Ginza is high class shopping, Tokyo Station and the Dome are a bit boring. This is a city to really see modern Japan (the fashion! the design!), so I wouldn’t hit too many shrines except Meiji-Jingu. If you go on a Saturday, you have a good shot of seeing Shinto weddings, which are very beautiful. Whenever I see one, I can’t help but stop, watch, and get a bit misty eyed (which might disqualify me from being in the evil club of mean hipster brides, but whatever.) When I’m in Tokyo, I love to just walk around and people-watch like there is no tomorrow. The style, the energy of the city, it’s all great. Don’t miss: Shibuya Crossing, Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building, Takeshita for the people watching alone. Kate Spade’s Tokyo Travel Guide would be worth a look if you’re going to be in the city awhile; I’ll be referencing it on my next trip there. Tip: restaurants and bars are upstairs and downstairs in Japan. It is not sketchy to go down or up several flights of stairs to find a place to eat or drink.

KYOTO (3 days)

You have to go. It’s really as simple as that. This is the cultural destination of Japan, one of the few cities that escaped the massive bombings at the end of WWII. I always stay at Ryokan Nishiyama. It’s a traditional Japanese inn with an onsen (and beer vending machine) downstairs. Stay in a tatami room and don’t miss the Japanese breakfast the next morning. 

The easiest way to see Kyoto is by bus, and you can buy an all day pass for ¥500 (~$6). A great place to get the pass and some helpful maps is the Tourist Information Center (TIC) in Kyoto Station. Swing by it when you first arrive. Consult a guidebook for which temples look best to you, pick a couple that are CLOSE to each other and accept you can’t hit them all. My favorites are Kiyomizu-dera, Fushimi-Inari, Arashiyama’s Tenryu-ji and bamboo grove, and Nishiki Market. 

My Kyoto party trick is to go to the Gion District for lunch. Dinners in this area can be crazy expensive, but the lunch sets are about half the cost and just as classy. I’d recommend the Shabu Shabu. Also in the Gion district, you can dress up as a maiko (geisha apprentice), which I hear is totally cheesy… and awesome.

My favorite restaurant in Kyoto is Japonica, right down the street from Ryokan Nishiyama. It’s hipster Japan. It’s so hipster it makes Portland look amateur. I love it. [Editor's Note: I love YOU.] The Octopus and Avocado salad is one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth.

NARA (½ day)

This is an awesome side trip from Kyoto. Catch the JR train express (not local) from the Kyoto Station. It’s about 30 minutes down to Nara. See the Daibutsu; walk around the Todai-ji Park. Stop by a kombini (more on them below) pick up lunch, and picnic. Sake is recommended. Watch out for the deer. They are aggressive little bastards.


HIROSHIMA / MIYAJIMA (2 days)

I love Hiroshima. Besides the Peace Park, A-Bomb Dome, and Peace Memorial Museum (which is incredibly moving – and not uncomfortable to visit as an American), this city has a wonderfully relaxed vibe. It’s not touristy, really, and it’s quite walkable. While you’re down there, save at least a day to see Miyajima and the floating tori gate. It’s an easy trip down from Hiroshima and your JR pass will work on the ferry to the island. If you can afford it, stay on the island. Don’t miss the A-Bomb Dome, Peace Memorial Museum, Mt. Misen, Itsukushima-jinja. Eat okonomiyaki and grilled oysters.

TAKAYAMA (2 days)

This is a bit off the beaten path, but if you’re looking to see mountains and a slower pace of life, head to Takayama. It’s a beautiful little town that is somehow traditional yet a ‘real’ city. It’s known for the Hida Beef (which many people here claim is better than Kobe) and sake breweries, and I think that’s a damn fine combination. From Takayama, you can head to Kamikochi to see the Japanese Alps or Shirakawa-go to see rustic thatched houses and old villages. This is a perfect place to catch your breath and just walk around after the business of Kyoto and Tokyo.


SAPPORO & HOKKIDO (3+ days) 

Hokkido, the northernmost island of Japan, is unlike any other part of the country. Northern and wild, it wasn’t really settled by the Japanese government until the 1880s, so it doesn’t ‘feel’ like the rest of the country. I’ve only heard awesome things about Sapporo, the capital (I haven’t yet been, but it’s at the top of my list.) People seem to always mention the ruggedness of the city… and the miso ramen / Ramen Theme Park, so make sure to try that when you’re there. If you book early enough, there is an overnight train to Sapporo from Tokyo (with an additional fee to your JR Pass) or a ferry from Tomakomai to Tsuruga but the easiest way may be to just fly. If you want to leave Sapporo, you’ll need to rent a car. Just call AAA and get an international driver’s license before you go.

- - -

Whew. That’s too much for two weeks, isn’t it? If I were you, I’d figure out what I really wanted to see and go from there. Are you more into ancient culture and history? Kyoto. Fashion and neon lights? Tokyo. Want to drink coffee and just wander away from crazy crowds? Hiroshima. Want to see nature and small(er) town life? Takayama. Want to be adventurous, love to ski, and have some time? Sapporo. I am the kind of person who likes to travel slow and take places in, so I’d hit fewer spots and stay longer. However, this may be your one-and-only-shot to see Japan, so if you want to hop around and see everything, I fully support.

Ideally, I like to put Tokyo last on itineraries since it’s crazy (in a good way) and can be overwhelming to those new to Japan and still jetlagged.


A few good-to-know things about Japan:

Kombinis: Convenience Stores are all over the place here. Lawson’s, Family Mart, Circle K, 7-11. They are amazing. The food is totally decent to pick up for an on-the-go meal, they have good coffee, snacks, & ice cream. You can also buy beer, chu-hi, and sake. (Sake is called Nihonshu here. Sake just means alcohol). It’s also a good place to pick up hair ties, deodorant, Meiji chocolate covered almonds… all your basic necessities. (Seriously. Get the almonds. Oh, and grapefruit Chu-Hi Strong, but be warned, its 8% and goes down like juice).

Most coffee shops have ‘Morning Setos,’ which is basically a special where you get toast and an egg with your coffee if you come in before 10:30 or 11. It’s one of the few “deals” in Japan, and you’ll feel totally in the know when you order it. Look at you.

Department stores have grocery stores and sweet shops in their lower levels. It’s like a wonderful world of perfectly crafted miniature sweets down there. Worth at least a stop in. Muji is my favorite Japanese home store and Loft my favorite department store. While you’re out shopping, a Japanese manicure is one of the best (temporary) souvenirs you can get, especially if you ever wanted tiny cats painted onto your nails. Drug stores have aisles and aisles of hair and makeup that your inner 14-year-old girl could only dream of, so stop in and grab some fake eyelashes.

Karaoke. Do tourists do this? If you’re brave, speak a bit of Japanese, and see a Joy Joy, hop on in. I wasn’t a fan of karaoke back in the States, but the private rooms, unlimited drinks, and growing appreciation of Rhianna as an artist* have won me over.

Lastly, on the language thing: Most Japanese studied English in school, but it’s not safe to assume that people will be bilingual, especially outside of Tokyo, and it’s always helpful to know a couple words. Remember su-me-ma-sen, which basically means ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry.’ I begin about every sentence with it, especially if I am going to be asking for help or asking something in English. Also hai (said like an abrupt ‘hi’) means yes, but often people use it as a sign that they are listening to you, not necessarily agreeing with you. Japanese people, I have found, are very accommodating and patient with visitors, and more polite than most other places I’ve been. It’s an easy country to travel.

I think that’s it for me! I absolutely love this country, and I’m so excited you’re visiting. I’m sure whatever you do and however you schedule your trip, you’ll have a fantastic time.

*I dare you not to feel damn good singing “We Found Love” into a microphone after a couple of Chu-Hi’s.

(Photos by Sarah herself)

What should a Scottish gal, her hipster sister and their amazing Mum do in NYC?

I realize I've leaned a little heavy on the touristy bullsh*t this week, but I'VE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF MY GIRLS.

Hi ESB,

I'm a long time reader. (I didn't have to write to you when I got married last year, but reading your blog certainly helped quell the crazy a few times).

I've just booked a last minute trip to New York for 4 days in two weeks time to celebrate my kid sister's 21st birthday. I appreciate this is a totally non-wedding related question so you may tell me to eff off, but do you or your readers have any tips on where to go/eat/avoid/whether to pack our coats? The last time I was in NYC was 9 years ago, and I'm sure plenty has changed since then. (Where did CBGB's go?)

So, do you have any advice for a 32-year old Scottish gal, her 21-year old hipster sister and their amazing Mum? Or should I just go and buy a Lonely Planet guidebook?

P.S. I've included a picture of my Mum and Sister at our wedding last year as a tenuous wedding link.

*****

Hokay. So I did move to LA six years ago...... but I get back to NYC on occasion. Here's a short list of my favorite spots:

Henry Public

The place is gorgeous and the cocktails are AMAZING.

The High Line

Hey all you New Yorkers who still haven't been to this free park with lawn chairs, crazy views + the most amazing people-watching on the planet: WHAT'S YOUR DAMAGE?

(The High Line by Iwan Baan)

The Metropolitan Museum ROOF GARDEN (open Apr 26-Oct 30, weather permitting)

Sculpture. Skyline. A birds-eye view of Central Park. I always thought this would be the perfect place to get married, actually.

Catbird (DUH). While you're in Williamsburg, I love this tiny weird museum. And Hotel Delmano is another superb place to get a cocktail. It is just fucking beautiful in there. Plus they have oysters.

There are a kajillion more W'msburg recommends here. (Kid will probably want to spend a full day in hipsterville.)

And I asked Matt to suggest a few restaurants. This list came in via iphone late last night.

I might add Smorgasburg and/or Brooklyn Flea on Saturday and Sunday respectively. They take place on the waterfront in Williamsburg, one being a food market with some of the best food in the city, and the other, well, is a flea market.

Also in Williamsburg, pies 'n' thighs for great, pretty cheap southern food. Fried chicken is awesome and the chicken biscuit sandwich is heavenly. Across the street only 20 yards down the block) is Dram. Wood, wrought iron, and a kayak as a light fixture extending the length of the bar (for the most part). Big floor to ceiling windows are left open during good weather. Drinks are great.

(Dram by Evan Sung for The New York Times)

And if anyone really likes pie, try Four & Twenty Blackbirds, which is in Gowanus...but worth the trip. 

And for a great meal in a cool setting in the east village, try Edi & The Wolf. Sunroom with eclectic flower pots, such as mason jars, hanging upside down stools, even an old workboot.

The ladies have already arrived in the city, so here's hoping they're prepared for that muggy/rainy/partly sunny/party cloudy situation, amirite?

Photobooth pic by Cameron Presentations

Seeking: sexaay intimates for a hipster boy

Dear ESB,

Where does a straight man go for some sexaay intimates? Undies, a robe, non-gross aftershave, maybe even some cool socks and sock garters (OK, sock garters are my thing, and he probably won't want to wear them, but still...)? 

I know everyone's definition of what constitutes "sexy" underthings is different, but you know the kind of shit your readers tend to like. Something that's not Hanes His Way, but that's also not a thong or a pair of over-sized purple silk boxers pre-scented with Axe body spray. Something that says he's scrubbed, stylin', and went out of his way to look nice for you. 

Are there one-stop-shop places for intimates for hipster guys, like there are for gals? Or is my man (and me too) SOL? 

PS: Honeymoon is in Hawaii so no super-heavy fabrics

THANKS, LADY!

*****

Sock garters are your thing?

Do the rest of you have bizarre fetishes i ought to know about??

THERE IS NO COOL PLACE THAT SELLS SOCK GARTERS.

As far as a one stop shop for hipster boys, Steven Alan is about as close as you can get. (And when you say "hipster," I assume you mean yipster, because hipsters don't scrub all that often. Obviously.)

Steven Alan isn't carrying pajama bottoms at the moment, which kills me because the pair I bought for H last year are SO BEST, but I assume their boxers are just as good.

And I like the sound of the manly apothecary items they carry, like Citrus/Ginger Sea Salt Spray + Sea Kelp/Clary Sage Bath Salt.

H is also a huge fan of Malin + Goetz, especially the Peppermint Shampoo, Cilantro Hair Conditioner and Bergamot Body Wash.

I really ought to buy him the Cannabis Candle ("addictive and sexy")!



Realizing I sorta didn't fully answer your question. Oh well. I got a little pre-Christmas brainstorming done.

Photo: February 12, 1909, "James Clarke, winner of Brooklyn Marathon, with others," 5x7 glass negative, George Grantham Bain Collection via Shorpy

MAL Spike Ring

Seems like an accessory a mean hipster bride ought to have.

MAL via The Shiny Squirrel

I feel like I morphed into one of those girls...

Hey esb,

I'm tsk tsk-ing myself because I have yet to contact you about MY wedding details and/or conundrums.

I mean, hello you're the effing hbic when it comes to honesty/shaming, dispelling Wedding expectations and making sense of all the minutiae of pre nuptial Craziness.

I've been lucky to rely on my 2 bbffs, who have both gone down the aisle, for most things. I'm now 71 days (thanks silly knot ticker) from our day. I'm standing back all of a sudden and I'm surprised w how traditional I've gone w things. Like, I always imagined my wedding to be so out there or at least one of a kind... But I fear I got sucked into all the blogs and crafty diy madness that saturated the hipster bridal scene.

Anyways, is this a normal feeling? Have I had an overdose of wedding identity stress?

I feel like I morphed into one of those girls and i'm not just following my instincts. Months of looking at super staged, perfect wedding "inspired" shoots got to me.

I should just say fuck it to the "sparkler send off" and just offer explosive rats.

*****

first: delete your knot profile RIGHT FUCKING NOW. didn't i teach you better than that?

second: i think you'll regret it if you don't start following your instincts and let a few weird-y details in.

if not an exploding rat send-off, then what about found-object favors?

(Geneva Hopson via Arthouse at the Jones Center)

we're counting on you to be a tastemaker.

Illustration at top by Aleksandra Kopff 

I'm no hipster.

But I'm v. tempted to buy this Crushable Straw Fedora from Catbird.

Last summer I spent some serious hours standing out in the sun and my hair did *not* thank me for it.

what should pasty Minnesotans do in LA?

May 11

Dear ESB,

I have a close-knit group of high school friends from Minnesota. Over time we've all moved away from home and live in various parts of the country, but we still keep in contact and are involved in each other's lives. We get to see each other during holidays, but that's usually a hectic time filled with family obligations. Weddings are our best chance to party together, and now one of my dear friends is getting married in L.A.! All of us are super excited about our friend's wedding. Not only is he marrying a kick ass girl, but we will be meeting up in California instead of Minnesota, which will be a fun vacation for us pasty Northerns. We are planning to stay several days for the wedding and explore the city as much as possible.

I thought maybe you and your L.A. readers, as insiders and very cool people, could suggest fun and interesting things for us to do in L.A. Or restaurants. We love food, especially strange food. The wedding is in July.

On a related note, I'm also getting married this summer, and my FH and I are going to Coronado for our honeymoon. If people in the San Diego area have any suggestions, those would also be welcome as well.

Sincerely,
Wannabe in LA

*****

June 13

Make a reservation at Animal (ANY RESERVATION YOU CAN GET, trust me) and await further instructions.

*****

July approaches!

Hokay. Rather than giving you an exhaustive list of my favorite spots in LA, I thought I'd narrow it down to five or so and let everyone else chime in.

Animal
I hope you made that reservation. Be sure to order the foie gras loco moco. It's the most expensive item on the menu, but I swear to you it's one of the most amazing things I've ever eaten. The bacon chocolate crunch bar is also killer. All of it is killer.

Yuca's
A James Beard Award-winning taco stand. You have to get the cochinita pibil torta (slow-roasted pork sandwich), which is the specialty of the house. I can't do tortas because of the whole gluten thing -- I get the tacos -- but H always orders at least two tortas for himself.

In-N-Out Burger
You know you have to visit In-N-Out while you're here, right? There are all kinds of secret ways to order that are not listed on the menu. I order my burgers "animal style" (with pickles and grilled onions), "protein style" (on a bun made of lettuce), "with mustard instead" (mustard instead of the special sauce).

Jumbo's Clown Room
This is a super fun place to have drinks in the early evening, when it's easy to get a table and the hipster pole dancers are the most skilful. Legend has it Courtney Love once danced at Jumbo's, and David Lynch used to come here to write. Bonus: It's just a few blocks away from Thai Patio, one of our perennial faves. The food is delish and there's usually an ambiguously gendered Thai person singing very sincere covers of 80's/90's hits.

Flore Vegan
LA it up for realz and go to Silver Lake for a vegan smoothie. (I mean, you did just eat all that meat.) The raw avocado & citrus smoothie from Flore is sooooo good. Bonus: You can stop into Reform School and the Mohawk General Store while you're in the neighborhood.

Polaroid by Raymond Molinar

R + D go suit shopping

If you're shopping for a wedding suit,* you HAVE TO read Rachel's suit saga, which includes a pretty harsh review of Indochino, a decent review of Bonobos, and (spoiler alert) a rave for Opening Ceremony, which she describes as "terrifyingly hipster."

I don't know which suit D tried on at Opening Ceremony, so I had to give you this Phillipe Alvergne with the uber-hipster styling.
______________________________

*Or thinking about shopping for a wedding suit, or avoiding shopping for a wedding suit....

Is it too late to just give up?

Dear ESB,

I am having a LOT LOT of issues, so I won't blame you if you never get through this message. In fact, I kind of hope you don't read it even though i desperately do need advice. Apologies in advance for poor grammar, I'm in a tizzy that could very possibly be hormonal.

How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel and give up on having a wedding? Like, just fucking FORGET it 100%. I'm in the midst of planning a wedding to my angel boyfriend, W, of 12 years and I'm 31 years old. I feel like I'm too old to be having this fairytale gala event, but that's what the whole thing has turned into. The wedding is in W's hometown, where we currently live. I wanted to have it here, too, so that is not the issue. My parents are paying for everything and I basically have no limits as far as budget. It's every girl's DREAM! But it's my nightmare. My adorable angel of a fiancé has always dreamed of getting married at this one particular gorgeous hotel downtown, so I went down there and booked it the minute we got engaged and he told me that was his vision. The thing is that every single time I have to go do anything that involves the wedding, like renting linens or picking out and buying invitations, i get SERIOUSLY upset and it makes me sick to my stomach. I have to take a 48 hour break from even thinking about the wedding after every little meeting with the planner. I just think it's all such a waste. I'm really grossed out by how much everything costs and it makes me sad to interact with cheesy ladies who try to badger me into buying ugly ribbons and things like that. It upsets me on a core level. I know it sounds so smug and hipsterish, but I honestly do just want to donate all the money to charity. Ok so that's issue number one.

Issue number 2 is that I feel like a jerk for inviting all my amazing, sweet, lifesavingly kind gay friends to my wedding when gay marriage isn't 100% legal. I am also pretty worried that some of the old men from W's side will make sideways remarks about my gay friends, and it would REALLY upset me if that happened. I would cry for sure, and most likely commit an assault while wearing 20 lbs of silk organza. Not cute. As of now about 15% of the guests invited to this wedding are gay men, and I'm not sure that many of W's relatives from small towns have ever even met ONE gay person before. Much less a whole room of the best dancers ever. So there's that.

Now to top it all off this girl who is also friends with the few people from my hometown who i do still talk to just got engaged last weekend and apparently has now planned her wedding to be the same day as mine. It's causing everyone to freak out and call me and I have no response for them other than "I invited you first but do whatever you want". It still hurts my feelings, though.

Is all of this a sign that I need to just go elope and get it over with?

The only thing getting me through this is the thought of my dress, which I already bought at Oscar de la Renta and i do not regret THAT purchase one bit!

How do I put an end to this madness? I'm miserable and it's manifesting in my complexion.   

*****

Elope.

Wear the dress.

Image via pretty.pretty.paper via abandunce via via via via SO MANY PEOPLE AND NARY A PHOTO CREDIT! I really respect the rules for crediting photos Chelsea has laid out here, and I always do my best to credit photogs (will now make an effort to credit stylists too!) but it's hard to resist posting a photo just because I don't know who took it... Maybe now that I'm "pro" I should hold myself to a higher standard?

**Update: The photo is Lara Stone by Mario Testino for Vogue UK May 2007**