MOH and the mason jars

Dear ESB,

Hopefully you can help me navigate this situation gracefully.

I got engaged 3 months ago to a dude I'm totally crazy about. What I'm not so crazy about is planning a wedding for 250+ guests (his family is huge and we "must" invite them all). Because I don't have a ton of money to spend and I don't want a traditional big white dress/cake wedding, we are really taking our time with any and all decisions--including place, date and wedding party (the first 2 remain undecided).

I spent a few weeks thinking about who I wanted in wedding party and asked my oldest and closest friend to be be MOH. She has always been little on the flaky side but really loves this kind of work and is soooo excited about helping me plan and being there for me on the day of. We see each other about once a month, usually after playing phone tag and rescheduling at least once.

So last night I finally got together with her and she starts telling me about all the ideas she has (none are my style) and that she's COLLECTING MASON JARS FOR ME AND ALREADY HAS 50+. This is so sweet of her, but the problem is I NEVER asked her for mason jars and just don't want them at my wedding. When she told me this I said "oh wow thanks," which was probably a mistake.

So what do I do now? How do I tell her what I had in mind was different without hurting her feelings?

IDK

*****

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT MASON JARS










Just kidding.

Tell your MOH you don't want to be that couple.

Or, tell her exactly what you just told me: "That is so sweet of you, but I have something different in mind."

Madisyn Ritland by Ami Sioux for Jalouse Magazine via ban.do via Veera Häkkinen

for the lovers of mason jars

(And the drinkers of disgusting green smoothies.)

Have I got a product for you.

CUPPOW. Pronounced... Cup-POW? 

Turns a canning jar into a travel mug. BPA free, obv.

via much and little via my friend L.

this would have made an awesome wedding

I knoooooooooooooow. Stop it Portland. What, are you jealous of Brooklyn?

But I am a sucker for mason jars + men with with beards.

Photographs by Laura Dart + Amos Lanka via Dart Photography via all the mountains

This Is Not Vintage Wedding Photography

Noa got a lil bee in her bonnet about.... Well, you'll see. And she asked me if I'd let her write a post.

I said FUCK YES. Obv.

I have been shooting "vintage"-inspired photography since I was at least 14 or so. As one of the first photographers in the alternative wedding industry to be labeled a "Vintage Photographer," I was proud and happy to see that people were categorizing my work this way and that they were clearly able to see my influences. 

But in the past few years, the Alternative or Vintage Wedding thing has grown into its own mainstream. And once something is mainstream it doesn't need a name anymore, except for maybe "mainstream." It's kind of like what happened with the alternative music scene back in the 90's: eventually every band started sounding "alternative" and everyone started listening to that type of music, which made the whole thing NOT alternative anymore.

The way the word "vintage" is used lacks accuracy most of the time, and can actually suppress creativity, as opposed to how it helped open a new route for creative expression back when I started....  If anything is slightly inspired by a bygone era, we slap the word "vintage" on it. 

If you score a beautiful wedding dress from the 1930's on Etsy, it's a vintage dress. Awesome. If you use mason jars for your centerpieces, it's not vintage, it's Martha Stewart. There is nothing vintage about the balloons in your engagement photos. Air plants aren't vintage. If you process your digital images to look like film, well so does everyone else these days, so let's not call it vintage. And if you shoot actual film, that's not vintage, it's film. If you found some fabric from the 1960's to use as a backdrop, that fabric is vintage. If you have a tattoo, that's not vintage, it's a tattoo. If you throw a swing-dance-party-themed-wedding, right on, but it's Retro, not vintage. If the vibe is Old Hollywood Glam, then call it Old Hollywood Glam. If you and all your hippie friends run around naked in the forest and eat shrooms after your ceremony -- your wedding is a Hippie Wedding (and you NEED to hire me to shoot that!). If you have a photography site and you are influenced by old photos, we should be able to tell that by looking at your work -- you don't have to tell us it's vintage. Please reduce the use of the V-word. 

And, I would like to present the following idea to all creatives in the industry: what if you remove the word "vintage" from your info/description page on your web site (unless of course, you rent actual vintage items out or something) -- would you still feel fully confident that your work speaks for itself? 

Since "vintage"-influenced wedding design/style/photography is now fully mainstream for us, isn't it redundant? If we don't use it to describe our own work, we can have more freedom to be influenced by anything, and therefore we can have more space to allow our creativity to go wherever it wants to... Which is how this whole current movement began. I propose we use "Progressive Wedding Industry" instead. I like that, and it's accurate.

Vintage used to be a word that signified imagination. It meant that interesting and artistic people could actually express their own taste, personality and ideas in their non-traditional & non-generic weddings. This "new" (ironically, the exact opposite of the word vintage) wedding movement was an alternative to the boring, traditional weddings that were leftover from the 90's and all the cheesy things that went along with them. Nowadays, we're all creative and everyone is influenced by old stuff, so it's embedded into what we do. Therefore making the V-word superfluous.

If you are using the word "vintage" to describe anything but an item that is actually old, you are probably overusing the word. If you frequently use the term "vintage-inspired," you are probably, no definitely, overusing it.

(All photos by Noa Azoulay-Sclater of Feather Love)

I smell a new wedding trend

I mean. Right?

Mason Jar Meals dreamed up by the decorated cookie via Design Crush via {wit + delight}

I heart Martha

Just so we're clear.

90% of the super rad DIY wedding ideas you found on some indie wedding blog originally came from Martha Stewart. You know that, right?

I mean, who do you think brought the goddamn mason jar out of the realm of moonshine and into the realm of the "signature cocktail"?

In other words: DON'T EVER QUOTE MISS MANNERS AT ME AGAIN. THX.

Five wedding trends I'll never get tired of

Lately I've been harping on trends that drive me up the wall (let's face it, just the word trend drives me up the wall). So I decided it was time to step back and recognize a few wedding ideas that rock.

1. Photo booths. Whether you rent the classic or go with a modern update, people effing love to pose for pictures. And I for one wish I had more photos of my wedding guests.

(Image courtesy of The Flashdance's Smile Booth)

2. Mason jars. I love em for cocktails, florals, and especially votives. They have a fabulous rustic chic vibe, and they're amazingly photogenic. Leave the rings on to get an extra glimmer from your candles. (Jars of the non-mason variety are good too, and easier to collect.)

(Image source here)

3. Shrugs. The bigger and fluffier the better. Did Elizabeth Dye just hint that she's working on a shrug inspired by this one....?

(Image source here)

4. Creative catering. I am a sucker for a backyard barbecue. Or a wedding catered by a taco truck! How rad is this?

(Image found here)

5. What am I leaving out? Please submit your ideas! I'm getting very lonely listening to myself think.

oh for peonies

Our wedding is in August, so peonies are out.

But if they were still blooming in my aunt's garden, I'd put them in simple mason jars, just like this sublime arrangement by Peonies and Polaroids.

(It is also a sublime photo, I must point out.)

Sigh.