Hey Anon, I've got something for you

It's A GRAIN OF SALT. Several, in fact.



I think you might need them.

Do you take everything you read that literally?

my best friend's wedding

I know this blog is usually pro brides and grooms, but
I have a wedding to break up and I need to say it all with a dress.
your readers are cool with that, right?

so, yeah yeah. i know some of your commenters are gonna balk, "i shouldn't even go, if i don't support the marriage"
"glad you're not my friend" but let's be serious ladies, your man has women in his life he'd like to fuck and vice versa. you do too (if you'll cop to it).
so let's just get over the whole, sanctity of marriage for a second, and remember we also live by natural laws.

to keep this shit short. groom is a life long friend, who i love dearly - maybe not marriage, dearly - but
we at least should've hooked up in all the time we've known each other - never did (which of course, means whatever sexual subtext is btwn us, has never been buried)

BUT to be completely honest & objective, he shouldn't marry this girl. and it's not just me who thinks this, but many of his other close friends (and yes, male friends think this too).
the bride put on the full court press to get her marriage (she even gave him an ultimatum). and groom was raised a solid southern (slightly feeble-minded) christian boy, so he caved.
i know that the union is bullshit, but i'm not the type of person to tell someone, what they need to do - and force my will upon them.
if he needs the life lesson of stepping into this pile of merde, he's going to have to suffer the consequences, like any grown man who makes shat decisions.

but i will stand by him. in a big black motherfucking mourning dress.

i will smile at the bride, and when i dance with the groom, i'll have a knowing look on my face.
i realize this probably makes me out to be, all the disney villains combined. and i'm okay with that. i need to step into that chapel like an arctic breeze and freeze that bride cold.
my hope is that, he'll get one brief glimpse of the truth of this farce marriage, which will eventually be the seed of its future destruction. 

but anywho!

about the dress.
i don't know if it's an afternoon or evening wedding. but it doesn't really matter, cause i'll be wearing a big black motherfucking mourning dress.
i've got a good figure, but i don't want the dress to be ho-ish as much as i need it to be, death death villain doom-bringer (under $250) hah

please send me your most destructive

*****

i'm on board with this, weirdly.

not with the whole breaking-up-the-wedding part, which is not rly what you're trying to do.

but FUCK YEAH with the wearing a death death villain dress while you're standing up there beside him.



would leather be too much??

it doesn't exactly say mourning.

how bout this Kimberly Taylor gown?

with a pair of doom-bringer pumps (obvio), it might be just the thing.


Photo at top by Victoria Zeoli via Dazed Digital





man i love this blog.