Here's what you should wear to CITY HALL

With a crop top.

PERF, amirite?


(Swedish Queen Crown from Fiori Couture)

Seeking: a dress to match a fascinator

Dear ESB,

I'm so happy that I have an excuse to email you. I'm having a fascinator made for my shower, as I won a custom-made hat at a derby party last year. The headpiece is being modeled after this one [see above].

I have tried on dress after dress and have been happy with NADA. All this over just a shower dress! I'm a 34D so open-backed dresses are a no-go, as I look simply pornographic without a bra. My budget is $500 max.

Any suggestions?

P.S. I think I love this dress, but I'm afraid it's too Lolita-esque, especially with the fascinator.

*****

I was all ready to say DON'T WEAR A FUCKING FASCINATOR, but am now eating my words. That shit is awesome.

SAVE IT FOR YOUR FUCKING WEDDING!


p.s. Will yours be made out of a karate belt?????? I hope I hope.

Is it possible to wear a headpiece in real life without looking like a fool?

Hey ESB,

Longtime listener, first time caller.

So I've been going over the whole veil debate, or rather, I've firmly decided against the veil, but perhaps I don't want a naked head. At first I thought one of my artist friends could make a rad hair clip/headpiece out of vintage pearlized buttons (he makes magic with buttons). My FH is really into the silent movie actress look and casually asked if I would be wearing some sort of Cleopatra headpiece.

Then I started getting all the pieces together, the dress, the shoes, my grandmother's jewelry (awesome and deco), and I'm starting to think I'm going to look like Kim Kardashian if I wear anything on my head. Is there such thing as a hey-this-looks-so-cool-and-not-overdone headpiece?

Thanks!

*****

NOTHING MADE OUT OF BUTTONS



EVER.








that's all i've got.

Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra (Promo)

What did I tell you about laurel wreaths?

One Love Photo has the cutting-edgiest brides.

Folkie Big Sur Wedding (Circa 1968)

A reader just hipped me to these photos, which I promptly swiped off flickr.

The geeeeeeeorgeous bride with the bangs is Mimi Fariña, and that beaming bridesmaid in the stripes is her big sister, Joan Baez.

Mimi married Milan Melvin at the Esalen Institute (which, incidentally, is where we were supposed to go hot-tubbing when we were in Big Sur) on the opening morning of the 1968 Big Sur Folk Festival.

I'd like to imagine she wore that flower crown all day long.....

YAY! And: Yes.

Headpiece by BHLDN but I don't even care because she's rocking it.

Grooms' shoes by I don't even know but they are AWESOME.

(Go check out the rest of the photos by one love photo and get all the dets on brides.com)

Ban.do does Bjork

Do we love this?

Or is it too renewing-my-vows-in-Machu-Picchu......?


Such a fine line.

Via Oh Joy!

Delphine Manivet

Digging these dresses,* that gap in her teeth, and: what did I tell you about the laurel wreath being the new flower crown?

Avail at Lovely Bridal in NYC + LA
______________________________

*Plus one romper.

Is a LAUREL WREATH the new flower crown?

(Jose Villa for Once Wed)

(Ancient Grecian Crown, Museum of Fine Arts Houston via TeenAngster)

Alison is getting married in this one from Pippa Tree. Lucky lady.

WHAT???

Patti Smith by Lynn Goldsmith (an outtake from the cover shoot for Easter, 1978) via TIME

I really should have saved this photo for the day I finally retire the blog. Does it not perfectly sum up All That Is East Side Bride?

cool, now i'm sick of the flower crown

WHAT ABOUT FEATHERS?

I feel like maybe we haven't fully explored feathers.

Photo by Erik Wahlstrom via Catbird via Abigail Lorick

Pamela Love wedding pics

Obvs, Pamela designed the rings. (The shoes are Yves St. Laurent)

Photos by Hannah Thomson courtesy of Vogue

Did everyone see this wedding already?

McKenzie & Jamie slay me. Slay me.

I haven't been slain by a wedding in a while.

Also: CUTE SANDALS

Photos by Lydia Jane via Miss Moss

Can you ever say "I'm sorry I didn't invite you to my wedding?"

Hey ESB,

I'm one of those annoying ask-your-opinion-more-than-one-time people, but (to butter you up here) I did take your advice last time, and I could really use a dose of no-nonsense. I emailed you about the royal wedding inspiring me to purchase a fascinator, and thank you for talking me out of that one. It was terrible. I went with a headband from Twigs and Honey, which I loved. Our wedding was imperfectly perfect, and almost a year later, I am so happy with the memories... except for one thing.

We were strict with the guest list. It was the terrible combination of wanting an intimate wedding, coming from a huge (80+) family, and paying for it ourselves. As a result, it was only family and our close friends, but everyone was invited a guest. We bent the no-family-friends rule for one couple, the parents of a bridesmaid whom I have known forever and who are very close to me. 

We did not invite one couple that used to be close to my parents, and, in ways that I did not appreciate, still are close to my family. We used to have holiday dinners with them, but I haven't personally spoken to them in years. However, over and over again, they pop up in my life, always supportive, gracious, and lovely, and I immensely regret not extending the invite. I feel bad, and I'm not a sentimental, guilt-laden person.

To make matters worse (and this is where I blush, even as I write this), an old friend's mother threw me a bridal shower in my hometown and invited some old family friends, even though they were not invited to the actual wedding. (For the record, she wasn't invited either, and said she would make it clear that our across-the-country wedding was a family only affair). 

Hindsight 20/20. I would have nixed the shower because it made me feel awkward to be celebrated by people I didn't invite and I'm not sure the 'family only' bit came through. Ugh. The couple in question came to the shower (including the husband, who crashed the lady only event by sweetly saying, "No way I was going to miss seeing you and saying congratulations!"), were nothing but gracious, and even gave me a bit of money in a card. Did I mention they are great people? Which makes me feel worse. This is my one wedding related regret, and I have a pit in my stomach whenever I think of them or hear their names mentioned.

ESB, how do I say :Sorry, I should have invited you to my wedding?" or do I shut my trap, swallow my guilt, and don't bring it up?

*****

Send these lovely people a wedding photo (I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT I NEVER SAY THAT) along with a little note to the effect of: "I just wanted to tell you both that I missed having you at the wedding. I wish we'd allowed ourselves to be more flexible with the guest list."

Then let yourself off the hook.

Photo: Laure de Sagazan

For your Welsh forest wedding....

A flower crown. Obvs.

(Alexandra Grecco for Summerland via fieldguided)

We interrupt #weddinghorrorstory(week) to bring you....

Bridal accessories from Metier.

I'm in SF as we speak shooting this lil movie. If only I had time to stop in and PAW THE SHINY THINGS.

I'd also love to see this Philip Crangi Men's Hammered Steel Band (with 24K gold lining!) in the flesh.

What should I put on my head?

Dear ESB,

I'm having a smallish, city hall type wedding in Melbourne, Australia in late April followed by a very long lunch with lots of wine and cocktails at one of our favourite restaurants with our immediate family and a handful of close friends. 

I've found the dress and a necklace but I have no idea what to wear on my head. My brain hurts from looking at bridal websites and I have Etsy fatigue! Since you and your readers have impeccable taste, I would appreciate any suggestions.

*****

Anyone feel like shopping this for me?

I'm swimming with the sea lions today. Or drinking margaritas or whatever.

Photos: Michelle Williams for Band of Outsiders Spring 2012 Collection via Fashion Gone Rogue

How do you know when to stop?

Hello ESB,

Accessorizing is a strange concept to me because I'm a minimalist. But the dress.needs.something.
It just does - I can tell.

So, I bought this from Twigs and Honey and I am thinking of a necklace or bracelet, too, but then...is that too much? Shoes are an issue too. It's a garden party in Sedona, so stilettos and everything I like will sink into the mud, no?

The real question is: how do you know when you have too many accessories. I don't want to overshadow the dress, or make myself look like a "royal."

Also, is it just me, or is everyone out there looking exactly the same? blah...

Thanks ever so.

*****

Stilettos will strand you in the middle of the lawn (or should I say the xeriscape?), but a CUTE pair of chunkier heels like these suede See by Chloes ought to be safe.

Bonus: You won't look like every other bride coming down the pike.

As for "How do you know when to stop?" I'd say as soon as you find yourself asking the question, it is TIME.

A Wedding in Polaroids

And the most thorough, thoughtful, helpful write-up I have yet had the pleasure of publishing.

Take it away April:

Sitting down to write about our wedding seems an awful lot like an Academy Award acceptance speech -- there were so many incredible people and friends involved. I'm about to start blurting out a list of names before the orchestra starts playing the STOP TALKING music.

About our wedding: it happened over labor day weekend in a small town 2 hours north of San Francisco. Monte Rio is beautiful, remote and very California without having the expense of nearby wine country. The ceremony was on a meadow by the Russian River with the reception at the community center. We treated it like it like a destination wedding.

Besides our own marriage, here's what we wanted for our guests:

- to have a relaxing long weekend on the river.
- to enjoy themselves so much that they were really sad when the weekend was over.
- to leave feeling like they really got to know other people and made new friends.
(To that end we created a Facebook group to organize lodging, communicated on our save the dates that guests needed to book lodging pronto and gave people the resources to find rental houses together. We also created a custom google map with important location and people's rentals.) As far as we know, success!

Long term, WE owe the photographers, big time. We didn't have a pile of cash to burn, so we decided early on to spend on what was important to us. Pictures last forever, right? We wanted the photographs to represent the time we had that weekend and Chloe Aftel did just that. Bonus: she is hilarious and a joy to work with (she did our engagement shots too). She does magical things with Polaroids and captured the romantic, ephemeral parts of marrying someone you love. Waking up the day after the weddings and flipping through the prints was immediate gratification! We had another photographer manning the photo booth during cocktails -- Meg Messina took fantastic wedding guest portraits.

Finally, a shot of gratitude to Jennifer Tipton. She came on as the wedding day coordinator but she was indispensable long before that. She was wonderful to work with and  was on top of everything during the weekend.

The dress: it was St. Lucia sample by Jenny Packham, purchased at San Francisco's Glamour Closet. This is the place to go if you want an expensive dress for half-price. Ideal for people who a) are motived bargain shoppers or b) don't mind if their dress has a few fix-it blemishes.
The headpiece: bought a couple but settled on the Mignonne Handmade - Nature Girl Halo in ivory.
The bridesmaids: almost all wore long, pale pink Rachel Pally. She designs with modal jersey, aka feels like pajamas.

The cake(s): we didn't want a wedding cake per se. We bought basically one of every cake from Miette. Beautiful/delicious/not $1000.

And finally, here's the rest of the Rad people/places/things near California's Sonoma valley....

Artistry by Alan: Oh my, those lashes! He comes from a Hollywood background and sat me down, did his magic and I looked like myself but flawless. What cinched it for me is he did make-up on the movie Clueless. HELLO 90's girl fantasy!
Brian Ho of Dreams in Audio: the best damn unwedding DJ we could've found (sf-based)
Fork Catering: food truck extraordinaire, tasty, local, fresh food.
Pinterest: I had an Inspiration and Final Wedding board to manage the look since our wedding decor didn't really have a strong theme besides what we liked.
Virb: hosted our wedding website! Easy and (more importantly) stylish.

The last note: we ended up with 12 kids/babies on the attending guest list(!). Besides reserving the playground adjacent to the reception site we also introduced the parents beforehand via email. We had a kid activities, made programs with a colorable illustration. One of my favorite parts of the reception was the kids smashing a Confetti System-style piñata we filled with toys and candy. It was joyful having them around!

OH, I cannot believe I almost forgot to mention my favorite wedding stress coping mechanism. No, not stress eating (close second!) — my favorite way to let of irrational impulses and wedding industry wackness out was by creating the Twitter account @BRIDEHULK. In the same vein as internet meme @DrunkHulk, you tweet the rage away. I did not man @BRIDEHULK myself, I enlisted the help of about 10 other brides who were also wedding planning last year. Most of us graduated out but there are still a couple friends who are getting married in 2012. I hope the tradition will live on and would be happy to share login information with others who find themselves fed-up with one too many staged wedding blog posts, difficult potential vendors and crazy-pants family drama.

Cheers!
April

(Chloe Aftel also took super gorg digital photos. A few of em are up over here.)