happy monday !

Not sure how to follow this.



classic case

         Exactly right.


legit the worst advice I've seen

completely flabbergasted

Um...                           waaaay thefuck off




Hahahah

little rat brain

rats and their damn documents.


creating a GOMI thread about ESB




mean and offensive


                            a place for saying mean BS

                                   Get over your mean, hipster self.

                                                 

Ugh god

               you should just stop



Please show us more sticks to hang random shit off of in your house.

The title came off as offensive, and for that I genuinely apologize. "White girl problems" popped into my head and it seemed sort of funny. I hesitated, I considered "first world problems," I read this whole thread. I browsed over here. I realized it's a really old joke. Also: Not very funny. And then I used it anyway. (Surprise! It wasn't very funny.)

The post was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. As in: Your life sounds pretty good! My life is pretty good. Aren't we lucky to have these "problems"?

You guys should know by now that my advice will always be more of the GET THE FUCK OVER IT variety than the Dear Sugar variety. Doesn't mean I love you any less.

Look who didn’t bother taking my advice

She bought the fugly Alexander McQueens and also a blue pair from Lauren Marinis and she looks pretty stoked about it, so what the eff do I know?

(Photos by Craig + Kate. See tons more + all the dets over on Rock My Wedding.)

A wedding reflection

Dear ESB,

I had the task of writing myself a letter, which would be sent to me at an undisclosed time in the future (part of an arts/culture experience in my city). It was a few weeks after my wedding so I ended up writing to myself about the day, in a selfish attempt to keep it fresh in my mind and preserve the memory. This was about two months ago and I just received the letter back, and it was really lovely to read. 

I just wanted to recommend to any brides out there to write down their thoughts and feelings from their wedding day, and tuck it away for safekeeping. It might be that people already do this?! - but it was definitely worthwhile for me. While the photographs capture the details and the setting, the note helps to preserve what you were thinking and feeling. x


You got married to a wonderful man on the seaside in Cornwall a few short weeks ago. You were uncharacteristically relaxed on the morning of the wedding. B gave you a pill to help you sleep the night before. You felt it make your eyes go heavy, but your brain spun, not for too long though, and then you were asleep. In the morning everything went smoothly; you were the vision of calm. The bridesmaids were a great distraction and they made you feel spectacular. Remember that – you felt great, and calm, and ready. His eyes were welling up when you came down the aisle, and you could sense the overwhelming joy and pride in his gaze. Your heart beat a bit faster. You couldn't stop smiling. Your legs felt a little bit wobbly. You were nervous people would see them shaking slightly under your dress. You loved saying the vows, you loved staring into C’s eyes. It was the best moment. And the wedding was filled with so many wonderful moments. Being surrounded by friends and family. The way everyone cheered when you were announced into the reception room. Swirling around the dance floor to Stevie Wonder. Excitement and laughter.

This one seemed perfect for Thanksgiving week. xooo to all of you.

(Photo by Debs Ivelja)

look who didn't need any help

July 8, 2013

Dear ESB,

My boyfriend and I are eloping to Vegas in two months time and we're very excited! Before everyone shudders at the thought, we are getting married by an officiant in the desert under an old tree. We originally loved the idea of an old Vegas chapel, until we read all the terrifying reviews.

We have found a great photographer that takes photos only on film and are going to be taking some shots around various mid-century style locations in Vegas and also in the Nevada desert.

Because we are eloping nobody knows and therefore my sisters and girlfriends can't help me in terms of my outfit, makeup and hair. So I'm counting on the sisterhood of ESB - please help me!

This is my dress [pictured above] (except I will be wearing a white slip underneath). I know it's going to be boiling hot, but it's going to be hot regardless of what I wear.

My flowers are going to be a bunch of white daisies. These have been ordered already.

Now for the things I have no idea what to do:

I was thinking for shoes white, pointed heels, like this but where do I find something like this that doesn't cost the earth? Also open to other suggestions for shoes that don't look like this... (I don't like my toes however, so maybe no open-toe suggestions)

I have straight, medium length brown hair...any suggestions for a hair style? 

I've absolutely no idea.

And for make-up, I want to keep it all quite romantic and natural, no red lips.

Thank you in advance!!

- Secret bride

*****

Nov 11, 2013

How did you accessorize???

*****

Nov 11, 2013

hello :)

I wore white patent leather pumps by Marc Jacobs, Satomi Kawakita tiny pearl studs (from Catbird) and that was it!

I mean. THIS IS PERFECT, AMIRITE?

Photo by Gaby Jeter (with more to follow!)

[CENSORED] the Follow Up!

Hi ESB, 

Remember me? [I do remember you! But I'm not linking to your Dear ESB because let's not get you in trouble.] I just wanted write you with updates (and pictures!) about our wedding. 

It. Was. Fucking. AWESOME. 

FH (now H!) and I decided to use my mother's $3,000 gift along with our own money to put on the wedding WE wanted and could afford. This meant that our May 2014 date got pushed up to October 2013, as I had initially wanted, and we also opted to have an after-wedding dinner at a local restaurant instead of a formal reception. We also decided to use a portion of the money towards a 'pre-honeymoon' and spent three days before the big day alone, exploring our in-between city of Charleston, South Carolina, and enjoying each others company before our families and friends arrived. 

Our wedding was quiet and intimate, with a whopping grand total of 50 guests. Everything went as planned, so much so that for the first part of the day I was actually waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was especially anxious about how things would go with [CENSORED] and the dinner plans. But after I was dressed and preparing to walk down the aisle, I took a deep breath and decided to let whatever was going to happen, happen... and it turns out that that included choking up and crying like a baby halfway through the ceremony as I did my wedding reading, an excerpt from "Selected Letters of Friedrich Nietzsche." 

People always say that weddings are communal events, and ours definitely would not have been possible without the help of our family and friends. My grandmother officiated the wedding, our amazing friend Luc took the pictures, a close friend acted as impromptu wedding coordinator, and [CENSORED] my in-laws graciously paid for our wedding dinner! Your amazing advice coupled with that of your amazing commenters about [CENSORED] was completely correct. So thank you!

Sincerely,

[CENSORED] Now That The Wedding Is Over

*****

So much ♥ to you, Ladyfriend.

I actually started crying when I first opened your email.

(Photos by Luc Alexandre)

Broad shoulder woes &tc

ESB,

I wrote you almost 2 years ago, complaining about my Olympic swimmer shoulders and my crazy family [not linking here, because hey, let's not get anyone in trouble]. I've been married about a year and a half now, our wedding was amazing and everyone behaved.

I ended up wearing a strapless dress my mom made; I know you're no fan of strapless but its what I felt best in so I went with it. Last month my husband and I fulfilled our long time dream of moving to Africa. We quit our jobs, sold all our stuff, bought some tickets and moved to Malawi (and got a puppy!). In the chaos of transporting my life across the world, I forgot about your blog. All blogs, actually. There was no time or energy for anything except packing and making Goodwill runs. Now we are here and we love it, despite the heat and humidity.

Last night I was laying in bed, sweating profusely because its so damn hot and we have no AC and we can't leave our windows open because of mosquitoes and our windows don't have screens because that's not a thing here. I couldn't sleep. Then your blog popped into my head and I put my sleeplessness to good use, catching up on all I missed. It was like finding money in your pocket that you forgot you had. Thanks for that.

*****

EXCUSE ME BUT YOUR SHOULDERS ARE GORGEOUS

So are your wedding photos

♥ ♥ ♥

(Images by Tyler Branch)

Moping motherless maniac (the Follow Up!)

Hey ESB,

I wanted to give you a little update on what happened after I wrote you in May of 2011. I took your advice and stopped wedding planning for a couple of months to try and work through my grief and give myself some much-needed head space. In the fall of 2011, my then-fiance and I took a vacation to Italy to visit my father, who was living there at the time, and we fell back in love with Florence and re-solidified our desire (need) to get hitched there. When I got back to the states, my excitement was renewed about the whole wedding thing.

I don't know that I mentioned this in my first post, but I was studying in Florence years ago and my Mom and stepdad came to visit and I mentioned that one day (when I was ready to commit to anything other than cheap wine), I'd want to get married in Florence. The woman STOLE MY IDEA and married my amazing stepdad in Florence in 2006. She loved Italy more than any place on earth. After her wedding, I reminded her that I was still getting married there one day, to which she would laugh and point out my endless string of bad boyfriends and we'd laugh together. 

I totally lucked out when, about 3 weeks into dating, my then-boyfriend tells me that Florence is the most romantic place in the world and he loved it too. I took the perspective that planning a wedding there, to show off the glory of my Mom's (and our) favorite city, was like my final swan song to her. Because she had been privy to some of my super-early pre-engagement wedding ideas (and because we were closer than Charlton Heston and his guns), I felt like I could imagine how she would critique and improve upon my and my then-fiance's plans and ideas. In a weird way, planning my wedding was the last thing we would ever do together. And it felt like she was there with me for every step of the way.

I also was blessed to have an amazing network of people to help me: my fiance, my aunts, my grandmother, my two dads and my friends. They were there for all of it: the crafting, the bad wedding show marathons, the endless dress search (when I tried on 42 dresses and ended up in tears because I didn't know which one I loved and my Mom couldn't weigh in). Oh, and because my fiance wanted my dress to look like the one in the Guns and Roses November Rain video...boys are silly. Finally I found a dress by Carol Hannah, who was on Project Runway when my Mom was sick and she and I would lie in her bed and watch together (and be catty and bitchy and all that good stuff) and Carol Hannah was our absolute favorite. The dress was perfectly me and the connection to Mom through CH made it that much more special.

Anyway, this is us here.

We kept it small--20 guests, a morning wedding with an extravagant luncheon. Was it hard? Sure. Did everyone cry a ton? Yup. But Mom was everywhere. She had been married in the same room I was vowing to be with my husband for eternity. That was POWERFUL. The toasts were sobbing messes. But there's this wedding day magic that people who draw hearts above their "i"s talk about that is so totally real and takes over and all you can focus on is that you're marrying your best friend and nothing can get you down (bronchitis be damned). 

I don't know what I believe happens to people when they die, but in one way or another, Mom was there (in the art and the smell of the food and the architecture and the winding, cobbled streets of Florence) and she was so damn happy for us.

--No longer Moping or Hyperventilating. 

*****

Way to go, ladypants!!!

It's so great to hear the real story behind some of the glossygorgeous images featured on SMP...

(Photo by Lisa Poggi)

Wedding Regrets: PRADA EDITION

April 18, 2013

Dear ESB,

PLZ HALP. I'm marrying the raddest man ever at a treehouse in Michigan this July, with a ceremony on the grass at the edge of the woods. It's gonna be some real fairy tale shit. At any rate, I've got the dress and just about everything else figured out, but have been searching high and low for shoes to go with this thing. 

These Prada wedges are haunting my dreams but also cost a trillion fucking dollars so not likely. Can you help me find my (size 9) wedding shoes for under $200? Thank you, thank you!

*****

Sept 4, 2013 (4:47 PM)

WHAT DID YOU WEAR

*****

Sept 4, 2013 (6:38 PM)

dude. had a full on second-guess-everything-except-the-groom panic attack in the months leading up the wedding (when my father threatened to keep his entire side of the family from attending the wedding if I had both him AND my stepdad walk me down the aisle (side note: jesus fucking christ)) and ditched the dress at the last minute, opting for a BCBG lace thing. see attached. bought some black wedges, my friend gifted me some jewelry from her beautiful line, the day was on point, and in the end we were married so, you know, who cares?

all the same: if i had it to do over again.. i would have bought the fucking prada.

*****

Let that be a lesson to all of us. Just buy the fucking prada?

Or is the lesson: The shoes don't matter! At the end of the day, you will be married!!

I wanted to say JUST BUY THE FUCKING PRADA, but I'm digging the black wedges with all those black jewels.

Image 1: Clémence Poésy (in Prada heels, obvs) by Ami Sioux for Wonderland Magazine
Image 2: Stoffer Photography

Sidebar: When I do an image search for that first dress, I keep getting Gorgo, Queen of Sparta. Which amuses me to no end.

A tale of two dresses.... The FOLLOW UP

Surprise! It's Paige Lowe -- our lady who took her own engagement photos. 

I told you she'd ROCK that ombre dress.

Paige says:

The day and the dress were perfect (minus not exactly fitting, big girl + little dress = keyhole open back cuz it wouldn't button...but I kinda dug it!) (also minus the photo booth company completely failing and not working at all --- OH WELL!)

Other side note - I had my 15 year old INTERN take these photos, it was a HUGE learning experience for her and I got to walk her through every step (and edit the photos myself, big plus). huge huge huge exposure and experience for her, and a HUGE budget cut for us!

#umhelloamazingphotos #radinteren

Tune in to 100 Layer Cake first thing tomorrow morning for tons more photos/dets.

I'll tell you a secret: The dress is gorg, of course, and the images are gorg, but THE WEDDING THE WEDDING THE WEDDING.

And the award for BEST WEDDING HAIR goes to....

Dear ESB,

First off, thank you for existing. Thank you for being there from when I had Wedding Brain until I decided to say fuck it and start from scratch.* And most importantly; thank you for being a part of my daily wedding planning ritual so I didn’t completely lose my shit.

A very short backstory; we swapped out the large/complicated wedding we never really wanted for a small San Francisco City Hall wedding + 3 month Europe trip (which starts in July). (You can follow us on our trip over here.)

Onto the wedding day stuff:

I woke up with so many butterflies in my stomach I thought I was going to puke. Or it could’ve been the pre-wedding tacos from the night before (not recommended unless unless you’re ok with having a food baby all the next day).

We started our morning lazily getting ready together and then went our separate ways to get ready with friends. If you’re doing your own hair or make-up I highly suggest knowing exactly what you’re going for or you might go over your allotted “getting ready” time like someone I know...

We almost didn’t do that “first look” thing, but I’m so glad we did. It felt kind of like when you’re little and you beg for a specific toy for a long time and you’re pretty sure you’re going to get that gift, but when you finally open it your heart fills with a burst of joy. Just like that.

After getting tons of portraits done at the Queen Anne Hotel we ate some delicious wedding donuts, drank some wedding juice and hopped in cabs to head to City Hall.

We arrived at City Hall, ate more donuts and got married. Then we all hopped into a party bus, picked up some sushi and ate it outside of the Exploratorium.

We spent the rest of the day walking around Fisherman’s Wharf and watching the sunset. Then came pizza dinner/beer at The Pizza Place. One of our favorite things about the wedding was how almost everyone ended up giving an unplanned speech at dinner, most of which were hilarious.

After dinner we tried to catch some cabs but had no luck. So we took buses to our next destination, which led to the parents referencing The Graduate a lot. We ended up at Buckshot, aka Skee Ball/Photobooth/Dance Party Central. The night ended perfectly with the DJ playing You Make Me Wanna (Shout) for us.

Sincerely,
Shana

*Following the suggestions of you and your readers, we ended up personally calling everyone that wasn’t invited to City Hall and ended up celebrating with them at a later date. Win/win!

Srsly, who has better hair, Shana or Jerrad?

THEY BOTH HAVE AMAZING HAIR.

Also: Those shoes on that man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Photos by Maddie of Hart and Sol West. Go check out more pics -- and read more from Shana -- over on A Practical Wedding.)

A + N's effing gorgeous California wedding

The beaming bride, the kick-ass dress, the California light.... These photos from Rad + In Love are slayin me this morning.

And Alejandra is so laid back about it all. D'you think I can take a teeeeeensy bit of credit?

Here's what she had to say:

I have such a hard time talking about my own wedding because it was a culmination of so many different story lines. It's hard to pick out one thread without unravelling the whole tapestry. I'll share a few wedding highlights in lieu of a full story.

The beginning:
My day began unintentionally early (before 7am!) because I just couldn't sleep anymore. All I could think about were my vows. My perfectionist self was literally dreaming about the words I would say, so I just got up and started to write them. I didn't even end up saying what I'd written, but it didn't matter. I could write new vows every day forever and I'd still never be able to capture everything. I realized that morning that it was ok not to get it all in one shot. We will keep reworking and living those vows out until the end!

When it hit me:
I didn't feel like anything huge in my life was changing since I had already been living with Nick for almost four years. However, little moments throughout the day kept reminding me that the party was happening -- now! I especially like remembering the moment I walked into the bathroom after dinner. As the door swung open, I saw my girlfriends for the first time that day and I instantly screamed like a teenage girl. I was overwhelmed with all the excitement and love.

Our wedding team:
We were lucky to be surrounded by an awesome group of people. I cannot recommend any of them enough. Indulge me as I share a little bit about them.

- Photographers: Rad + In Love
These ladies are outrageously talented, but they're also down-to-earth and will go the distance to capture your day. Seriously, an amazing team. At one point, Michelle jumped on her car roof to get the right angle, it caved in, and she just kept on shooting! We love them to death!

- Wedding planner extraordinaire: Allie Shane from Pop the Champagne
Words cannot express enough how dedicated and bad-ass Allie is. She provided the muscle for a wedding planned in three months from across the country (while we were also buying an apartment and moving; getting a new job; and taking night classes). When all we wanted to do was avoid decision making and fall asleep, she kept us moving forward. Without her, I would still be planning. Allie's secret is that she knows when to hold your hand, when to direct, and how to make it all fun.

- Venue: The Annenberg Community Beach House
Our Annenberg coordinator, Carol, worked closely with Allie to make our day totally seamless. She was delightful to work with and the venue was spectacular.

- Florist: Floret Cadet
Since we love flowers, but were too far across the country (and by this point in the planning process, running out of money) to dream too big, we needed someone we could trust to take a couple ideas and just run with them. From the moment we met Kate we knew we were in good hands. We left her to surprise us on the day and she did in the best way possible.

- DJ: Sean Osborne
So charming, kind, and he kept the party going! Sean was totally focused on making sure Nick and I got what we wanted in our playlist and on the wedding day. Right after our ceremony, as Nick and I took a moment to just be alone, he played a little song for us to dance together. It was really touching.

What I would do over:
I would sleep a whole lot more that week and I would eat a huge breakfast. That would've rocked.

Unexpected:
We had originally daydreamed about having my sister and her whole band, The Del-Reys, perform, but that was logistically difficult. Instead, I was genuinely surprised when my sister got up to sing right after the toasts. She performed a killer a cappella rendition of "Si Nos Dejan" (I used to have a mariachi band in college) and then led everyone in singing "You've Got a Friend" together. It was such an awesome gift that she would still sing to us without any music in front of the whole room.

My favorite:
During the rehearsal the day before, I worried that our ceremony would be an unprepared disaster. So much planning had gone into the weekend, but we had very little set in stone for the part that was most important to us -- the ceremony. The morning of, I let it all go and rolled with the day. The ceremony ended up being beautiful.... 

In retrospect, it was just like every decision we made for our wedding. It didn't matter exactly what we did, everything ended up being a reflection of something Nick and I were building together. That made it perfect. The fact that the sun was shining and birds were chirping as Nick shared his vows was just crazy luck.

The ending:
I had told myself in advance to take a moment during the last dance to soak it all in. I'm so glad I did. I got to see those who were left all together on the dance floor enjoying themselves. The feeling of love was all around and I was so filled with happiness at that moment.

The real ending:
We got legally married at New York City's Marriage Bureau a week after we returned from our honeymoon on Kauai. Throughout the whole engagement, I had been torn between a courthouse wedding and a personalized ceremony. We ended up being so busy before leaving for our wedding in LA that we never got a California marriage license. The courthouse was a blast and I'm so glad we accidentally got both ceremonies. All dreams (unintentionally) fulfilled!

*****

Q: Have you ever seen a smile that big?

A: No, no you have not.

♥

Photos by Rad + In Love. (Go check out tons more images from this wedding over on the Rad + Love blog.)

p.s. Recognize the dress? Alejandra left that model in the DUST.