Wednesday, July 31, 2013

how do I subtly say BUY ME A RING?


I've been reading your blog for the past few weeks as conversations with my boyfriend have started to turn toward marriage. We've been dating for 11 months, live together, are about to embark on renovating my house together. We talk big picture all the time, like about marriage, kids, house money, etc. 

My reason for concern is that we have not talked about the small picture stuff -- like the proposal and engagement ring! I get that guys want the proposal to be a secret and I am concerned that he thinks he should just pick out a ring himself, since he has not mentioned engagement rings once in conversations about other items we're saving for (a juicer, a kayak, etc), not asked me to recommend jewelry I like, nothing. I know how to subtly drop hints about the wedding but don't know how to subtly say BUY ME A RING.

Should I be worried that we haven't chatted about the timing of engagement? And more to the point, how do I get the ring I want? Particularly, I don't want a solitaire diamond. 

PS I don't want to sound like a materialistic bitch -- I want a small, cheap wedding, etc. I just figure if I'm going to wear a ring for the rest of my life, I want to get the right one, you know?



There is no subtle way to say BUY ME A RING.

You can, however, tell your boyfriend "Just so you know… If and when we do get engaged… I don't want a diamond solitaire!" 

And then show him what that is, because men are stupid. And then maaaaaaybe, if he's not stupid, he'll say "Well, what kind of ring would you want?"

Mirage by Beth Hoeckel

Monday, July 29, 2013

Seeking: The Perfect Lip Stain


Can we get a thread going on lip stains? My fiance told me if he has hot pink lips at the wedding he will be fucking pissed. 

My dream list:

>Lasts like 6 hrs
>Lasts through a good amount of kissing
>Lasts through sipping on bourbon 

I will take anything minus that creepy makeup tattoo stuff. 

I want like juicy as shit fuchsia lips, but I also don't want my fiance to look like he just went to town on a pink popsicle (i tried really hard to come up with a sexual reference for this one, but i got nuttin.)

That is all.



Elise Crombez by Marcelo Gomes for Dossier Journal via Fashion Gone Rogue

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Dear ESB: Do we have to serve MEAT?

I love your work, and am hoping for one of your famous pointed answers to my very first world problem. My parents and future father in law are paying for our wedding and being very generous in general. My minor dilemma is I have been vegetarian for 15 years for a variety of reasons, and vegan for many of them. I consider it part of who I am and my future moving forward. 

I understand that not everyone is cool with eating vegetables for dinner, so I thought offering chicken was great alternative (fiancé isn’t vegan, but doesn’t eat red meat). However, my future father in law is pretty adamant about having both steak and chicken in addition to a vegan entrée. I get a very uneasy feeling every time I think of beef being served, but don’t want to appear to be ungrateful/disrespectful and deny my FIL’s request. 

Yes or no to filet mignon?

- Hippie at Heart


If your FFIL is putting up money for the wedding, that makes him one of the hosts. He gets to have a say in what is served for dinner.

How bout you insist on ethically raised beef? (And offer to make up the difference in price.)

Meat by Mal Jones

Monday, July 22, 2013


Just when I thought I couldn't love you guys any more....

For my "something new," two of my bridesmaids, the guy that married us, and I got tattoos together! We did it with a needle and just normal pen ink and a bottle of lukewarm Malibu. It was really fun. We all got arrows. A friend's boyfriend also decided to get his first tattoo which was the word "foot" written on his foot. I actually tried to convince him to not get it. The next morning when I asked him how he was feeling, he said that despite not knowing me very well, that it would definitely be a weekend he would never forget. And I have to say it looked pretty great. -- Maude

(Photos by Aurora Halal)

Where do the cool girls shop? Part 2.

(Canvas tote with rope handles from A Détacher)

It turns out the ladies over at Erica Weiner read ESB, and when I put a call out for submissions to Where do the cool girls shop? this guide from Erica herself (jewelry maker/vintage shopper EXTRAORDINAIRE) quickly appeared in my inbox.

Erica was too modest to include her own stores in the guide, but, just FYIZ, you can shop her original designs and antique jewelry finds in Nolita + Boerum Hill + of course online.

Without further ado, here is E's (mostly) New York City-based installment of Where do the cool girls shop? (with a little London + Maine thrown in for good measure):

A Détacher—A place that's inspiring to be in, if maybe a little unaffordable.

Stock Vintage—Mostly for menswear, which I love.

Doyle & Doyle—Shout out to this Lower East Side shop where my hubby bought my engagement ring.

(Vintage patterned wedding band from Doyle & Doyle)

Rowan & Rowan—A London antique store with the craziest, oldest, creepiest and most beautiful antique jewelry in the world, all museum-quality.

Beads of Paradise—New agey organic stuff: pictures of Ganesh, flowy pants, overpriced face creams, and jewelry findings.

Goodwill in Camden, ME—Some of my best vintage and old LL Bean stuff comes from here.

Love, Adorned—Obvi.

9th Street Haberdashery—A miniscule shop in the East Village specializing in truly vintage clothes—stuff from the 20s, 30s, 40s. Guarded by a taxidermied dog.

Rachel Comey sample sale—Happens twice a year in a gymnasium on Mulberry and Prince; totally worth the wait/hype. All the girls at our studio have scored like crazy here.

Holler & Squall—The Atlantic Ave strip is filthy with top-notch antique/salvage furniture shops, but Holler & Squall is one of the best. 

Sharktooth—A former employee of the above store recently opened her own antique textile and rugs shop. Also fantastic.

(Erica Weiner's work on display at Malin Landaeus)

Malin Landaeus—I'd call this Williamsburg vintage store an institution at this point. The owner and I met years ago at Artists & Fleas, both hocking our wares, and now she sells our jewelry at her store. So much of my vintage comes from here.

If you're interested in writing a guide to shopping your city/eBay/your fave Goodwill, hit me up!

Friday, July 19, 2013

A bride in search of a dilemma

Feb 20, 2013

Hey ESB,

We're planning a laid back, court house ceremony followed by a party in a pub later in the evening. I bought this dress which fits like a dream and is super flattering. I thought the hard part was over but now I have to accessorise which is not my strong suit.

I have the kind of fair skin that suits all hair colours, so I'm kicking around the idea of deep wine lipstick (maybe just for the reception so I'm not smearing lippy all over the groom during the ceremony) and dark nail polish. Would dark shoes make it all too matchy? I'm thinking flowers aren't even really necessary and the thought of putting something on my head is sending me over the edge.

Am I completely insane going down the dark lipstick/accessory route? I have a hard time picturing it all working together with the dress. To be honest I'm having a hard time picturing anything other than the stock standard nude pump, peonies, french manicure look. But I mean, YAWN, right!? 



Jul 12, 2013

Are you MARRIED? How did you accessorize??

Dress is gorg, b/t/w


Jul 12, 2013

Thanks esb - I think so too.

Not married yet, shit gets real in October.

I wasn't too long engaged when I emailed you and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by all the choices. In fact, I was kind of projecting my stress about some significant life challenges by obsessing over wedding details. Don't think I'm the only bride to be to do that.

Things have a way of sorting themselves out though. I'm more or less organised with plenty of time to change my mind.

I've put a pretty vague order in with a florist that I drove past and loved the store set up (think fluro macrame hanging baskets with ferns etc). I've asked for a small bouquet that's wild and textural.

Accessories wise I bought these Emerson Fry shoes (they're gorg) and have put an order in for this amazing baby soft black leather jacket made by a local Melbourne designer. Oh and my wedding band arrived last week and I LOVE IT. I've spent a lot more money on accessories than on the dress but they're all pieces that I'll wear again (and again, and again). 

I've nixed the dark lipstick idea because I don't want to be worried all day/night that it's smudged, or worn off, or is on my teeth. And I don't want to discourage my new husband from kissing me for fear of my lipstick transferring itself to his face.

Besides that I'm pretty undecided about all the rest. I have a beautiful string of pearls my Dad bought me for my 21st that suit the neckline of the dress, and I was thinking of whacking some flowers in my hair like this (sorry no source, it's one of those frustrating pinterest/tumblr ones). Nails - no idea.

I'm open to suggestions if you or your readers feel up to completing the picture!

PS: We're taking our ceremony peeps out to lunch at the restaurant where we had our first date and it just so happens to be Chinese a la Shane and Eric. I love everything about that wedding and hope ours is just as fun...


Jul 19, 2013

OK esb, I have a legit dilemma for you now. 

Last night, bridesmaid dress shopping, I found a dress [pictured above]. I know I wasn't really doing myself any favours but I had to try it on, and as suspected from looking at it on the rack it's absolutely gorgeous. It fits beautifully and suits my complexion and hair colour to a tee.

I can't justify spending $650 on a dress with no occasion to wear it, and it would make a KILLER wedding dress. But as you know, I already have an outfit sorted. 

It doesn't fit into any kind of budget I'm running right now, but that's what credit cards are for, right?!

I know I'm not the first to have the two dresses dilemma. I've canvassed my bridesmaids who've seen me in both dresses for their opinion but thought I'd throw to you also. Because, you know, guru.

Should I go with the new dress or stick to what I have planned? 


For a courthouse wedding + Chinese + pub, I say stick to the shift dress.

p.s. You have bridesmaids for a courthouse wedding??

p.p.s. CHILLAX.

FMIL Should Put Up or Shut Up

Dear ESB,

I'll just come right out and say it: my future mother-in-law is a cunt. Every step of the wedding planning process has been a nightmare dealing with her. When we picked our original date, she threw a fit about it being too soon and insisted we push it back by an additional 10 months. It was no skin off my nose at the time, so I agreed. Mistake. Pretty soon I got the feeling that that was a test I failed on who was really in control, as every decision I have made from there on out regarding the wedding has been met with resistance from her.

I initially wanted to get married in my hometown city; she protested that it was too far for the elderly members of my fiancé's family to travel. So we picked a new city, one that allowed for an equal amount of travel between both  of our families. I tried to sit down and discuss finances with her; although we agreed to roughly split things 50/50 between our families, she insisted she would only talk in depth about it with my parents in person (they live in my hometown city, over 1,000 miles away) and even then, only after we had already picked a venue and had some price points to present. Fine. We road-tripped to the city we'd picked and found a lovely chapel and reception hall, as well as a great caterer for the intimate event we had planned (70 guests total).

The deposit for the church is $500. The deposit for the caterer is $2,000. I suggested we split the $2,500 between the six of us (my parents, his parents, and my fiancé and I), and my FMIL is now refusing to put in for the deposit. She feels it is 1. too much money and 2. goes against "the principle" of the bride's family taking care of everything regarding the wedding.

She also feels like they shouldn't have to put down money because my fiancé's guest list is smaller than mine so they'll have fewer of "their" people there, and because they already have to pay clothes, airfare, hotel blocks, transportation for the family that is traveling, etc. (My list has exactly five people more than his.)

Here's an excerpt from a text she sent me:

"You have way more people than us & it's not fair that we have to come up w/ that amount for only a handful of people on a deposit, makes no sense... So come up w/ the $500 to secure the place & find some other caterers. Nothing else is to be discussed until we converse in person."

My fiancé's father is pretty much following her lead. She says my parents and I should either pay both deposits ourselves or book just the venue and get a cheaper caterer later. This caterer is all-inclusive (plated food, cake stand, tables, chairs, linens, silverware, glassware, beer and wine, servers, bartenders, and set-up/breakdown) for $4000; it doesn't get much cheaper than that, short of doing it ourselves.

My fiancé has tried reasoning with her but she won't budge. He said he's fine with he and I splitting the deposits with my parents, but I kind of want to just chuck the whole thing at this point and elope. My mother has also offered to gift us $3,000 for the entire endeavor to do whatever we want. Should we go for the elopement? How do we break that to his parents?

My FMIL Is A Cunt


You don't want her f*cking money. If you can't afford the wedding without it, then yes, you should elope.

Do the thing FIRST. Then breaking the news is easy: "We eloped!"

(Resist the urge to add: "Who's in control now, bitch?")

Marta Kowalska by Paolo Colaiocco for Kneon (Summer 2013) via COUPDEFOUDRE

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Blog of the Week(ish): CAPTAIN PANCAKES!

Okay, it's not a blog. It's Gracie Hagen's instagram feed.


Jonathan's Badass Bachelor Party: BBQ, Paintball + Ceremony of Losing One's Nads

The cast of characters:

My brother-in-law Carlos, who is insane, was the demented SOB that planned the party. Although I had plenty of input. The guys who attended were the slime of the earth. The complete underbelly of society. My brother (Captain Jerk) and my soon-to-be-uncle-in-law (Father Costanzo), Luis "the Judge" Gonzales, my friends Tim, Joel, and Mario. Carlos brought a couple of his wacky friends, including a Japanese exchange student called James Bond who barely spoke English and turned out to be a mean shot with a splatter gun. 

The attire:

Those jerk-offs were not allowed on the van without a costume. I wore my bride-to-be's sparkle leggings, a Scottish tartan & a tuxedo top. My evening wear was inspired by a character I used to do back in my acting days. 

The activities:

BBQ breakfastPaintball, The Ceremony of Losing One's Nads at my former bachelor pad. (It was a ceremony to give peace to my penis, one that marked the changing hands of control from myself to my wife.) Afterward, we headed to Tonga Room and to El Compadre. We ended the night at Sam's Hofbrau, as you do.

Photos by Melissa Ryan of Marble Rye.* (Check out more images from Jonathan's bachelor extravaganza here and here.)

*FYIZ: Melissa just launched a #WHYWEDTHEDESERT contest over on her site. If you're planning to get married in Joshua Tree (or might be persuaded to scrap your current plans in order to do so), she wants to take your photos for free.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

happy tuesday!

there's a fresh one over on 100 layer cake today, in which i share my thoughts on "starter" engagement rings....

once again i have nailed it SO HARD that nobody has anything to add.

at least that's what i'm telling myself.

Feathers (2012) by Kensuke Koike

Monday, July 15, 2013

here's a good dress

f/w 2013 from Carleen ($775)

no e-commerce yet, but you can email Kelsy to special order.

(check out the dress in motion over here)

I have to wear this because I am a good daughter....

I am writing to you because I trust your style and I love esb! 

My mom bought me this dress from bhldn (yikes!) for my small low key wedding and I have to wear this because I am a good daughter and I love her. plz plz help me, how do I make this whole outfit look good? shoes? jewelry suggestions please. Thanks!

a good daughter from chi city


You are a grownup.


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Please help me not murder a bridesmaid!

Dear ESB, 

Your blog is my first stop in the morning every day, and I love it to bits. I never thought I'd be writing to you, but 1.5 months before my wedding, here I am! (Yay?) I am severely in need of some candor, even if it means getting bitchslapped across the face with the truth of my idiocy. So, without further ado, here's the sitch. I'm sorry it's so long!

So, my best friend (we'll call her Jane) is a bridesmaid in my wedding. I didn't name her the MoH because I was worried she wouldn't be great at helping with stuff (boy was I right), so I just didn't choose one.

Our friendship has always been really easy and fun, we were roommates for a few years, and have done a good job staying in touch and visiting and everything. There are three things that she's done (or rather not done) that make me really sad and kind of angry, and one thing that makes me livid. Also, please keep in mind I have very specifically never asked her to do anything, so I don't think I'm really expecting too much, but maybe I am?

Thing 1: Jane offered to help out with the flowers for the wedding because she studied plants in college, works in the field, knows pretty much everything about plants ever, and said she had a lot of fun doing the flowers for her aunt's wedding.

I thought "great." We had a really fun afternoon in October looking at pictures, and her making a list of things I liked (most of which I didn't know the names of). I decided on a few flowers, turns out I have really weird taste in flowers, so they're not really ones you can pick up at the florist. My mom offered to plant said flowers, as long as the flowers can survive and bloom and such in my mom's shady yard in MN.

I ask Jane about that, and she says she'll find out. For her this should be a relatively simple task, for me it would require hours of googling as I have a black thumb and know nothing about plants, except how to kill them. Months go by, nothing. I ask occasionally, she says "Oh yeah, I'll do that." She doesn't. I start to remind her regularly. Finally it gets to be planting season in MN, and she still hasn't done it. She only does it when I say "I need this info by tomorrow, if not, fine, I can do it myself, but I need to know if I need to do that." Finally she gives me the info, and the only reason it's not too late is that MN decided to stay a frozen tundra longer than usual.

Thing 2: I told my bridesmaids in January that they could pick out their own dresses as long as it was in a certain spectrum of blue (not super strict about that though), that they not wear something slutty (not really a problem, but better safe than sorry), and that they send me pictures of their dresses so I can give it my seal of approval. Jane says right away that she has two dresses that might work, I say great, send me pictures.

She waits until May to even show me her dresses, and both of them are terrible and neither are at all appropriate for a wedding, especially not as a bridesmaid. This is exactly like what she's wearing [1] , only it's from Gap, not Old Navy. Never mind that she doesn't even look very good in it, but WTF. I decide to let that one go because I DID say "pick your own," and she's always worried about money and I didn't want to hurt her feelings or tell her she needs to spend money on a dress. But I am very hurt that she literally pulled a crappy dress from her t-shirt drawer to wear at my wedding, when she knows that my other ladies are getting dresses from Modcloth, Nordstrom and Little Borrowed Dress.

Thing 3: She offered to help my other BM, Kate, plan my bachelorette party. I made it clear that it was absolutely not required to have a party, but should they choose to throw one, I wanted to do zero planning because I'm planning a destination wedding and a reception for local friends and family. Of course she does nothing to help Kate, who is helpful beyond belief, despite the fact that she's in med school, and literally started year three yesterday.

She makes a few suggestions, but her suggestions seem to be more focused on making it easier/cheaper for her to attend, than for me to have a nice time. (Her suggestions: "Let's all have a sleepover on the floor of my apartment" -- she lives in Boston, three of us are in CT, two in NY. Also she lives with 4 other people and their house is disgusting; and "I'll make brunch instead of going out" -- she's a terrible cook and has never cooked for a group before (that I know of).)

Because of this I have ended up helping Kate plan large chunks of my bachelorette, which Kate feels bad about (but I said that I would feel super bad if she planned it on her own while in med school).

Thing 4: I was planning on driving to MN early, for the wedding, and asked Jane over a year ago if she would like to come with me since I went on a moving related road trip with her before and it was pretty fun.* The only caveat was that she needed to learn how to drive stick shift since that's what my car is. I also thought it would be nice to ask her since she's always concerned about money, and this way all she'd have to pay for is her share of lodging for the wedding. (We gave her and some other friends money to help with travel, and I believe the money we gave her fully covers her flight back.) She agreed. Fast forward to about two months ago -- she still has never learned stickshift. Keep in mind her boyfriend, who she lives with, has a stickshift car. I start getting nervous and start reminding her.

*Fun, but also I paid for half the trip and my plane ticket home and she never paid me back, which at the time I was willing to shrug off, but now...

Also, since Feb. she has gone through several jobs, and keeps saying she's not sure she'll be able to get time off, despite the fact that she knew when she agreed to drive with me she'd probably have a new job. I start reminding her weekly about learning stick and getting time off. Finally last week she says she has gotten the time off, which is great, but she still hasn't learned stick. My fiancé and mom say to give her a deadline and if she doesn't meet it, make other plans.

I call her yesterday, to say she has a week (we're literally leaving a week from today), and she starts making excuses about how busy she is. What she's busy with, I have no idea, she's definitely much less busy than any of my other bridesmaids. The conversation gets kind of awkward, because I have to bring up that I'm stressed out, and basically think she's going to flake out, which I didn't want to have to do. She says she will "get on it." Last night she calls back to let me know that she has a new job, which is great, but that she won't be able to take time off to drive with me, but still plans on coming.

At this point I fully expect her to flake out and just not come to the wedding, which would make me happier. All of these things are bad, but the reason the last one is so bad, is because her flaking out looks like it's going to cost me either my honeymoon, or at least $1000.

The problem, is that my FH and I need a car to drive back to CT, because we were going to take a road trip mini-honeymoon. Here are the options as I see them:

1. I drive out alone. It gives me a little more time, but it also means I have to close my business (sole owner) for longer. Also the thought of driving cross country alone makes me nervous for all the obvious reasons.

2. Fly out, Rent a car. This looks like it will cost us a minimum of $900, because we will be returning the car in a different state.

3. Fly out, buy a used car. My FH and I are looking to move, so at some point I WILL need a car, but we're also trying to buy land right now, so we kind of need that money for the land.

4. My FH drives out in our car. He is more pro this option, but if he wants to do it without taking more time off (he's already past his limit) he will have to drive for 24 hours straight without stopping if he wants to arrive more than 24 hours before the wedding. Also it burns a plane ticket. 

5. Forget the road trip, everyone flys. Since there are no plane tickets to Mexico or anything involved, I will be able to get most of the money back, but there goes the honeymoon.

What should I do? How do I even discuss this with Jane, who appears to be completely oblivious to all of this? I want to say something because if I continue to hold it in, it will just eat away with me, but I don't want to deal with a ton of drama either. I just really need a different perspective.

Miss Scarlet, in the Library, with the Tastefully Arranged Centerpieces


You knew she wouldn't be good at helping with stuff, AND NOW YOU ARE MAD AT HER FOR NOT HELPING WITH STUFF.

Also: Girlfriend is clearly broke. Like, reeeeeeeeeally broke. She's gone through several jobs since February, she has no doubt been sitting on her couch wallowing (wearing crappy Gap clothes she's had since high school), and how is her relationship with that boyfriend (who very likely doesn't want to let her drive his car)? Have you even asked?? Maybe you should open your discussion with an apology for being self-centered.

#3. Suck it up and rent a car. Canceling your honeymoon because you are furious with your bridesmaid is what we in the business call cutting off your nose to spite your face.

PISS (off) by Ellen Jong via Emmas Designblogg

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Here's a sequin dress I can get behind.

Wren @ Of a Kind ($180 down from $462)


Thank you, Jacqueline!!!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Shane and Eric's Nomadic Santa Cruz Wedding

A few words of motherf%*@ing wisdom from Shane.....

Don't have your wedding dress made somewhere you can't easily visit. This might seem obvious, but we had to learn it the hard way. I used a woman who owns a small boutique in Soho. She is a lovely designer but for some reason the dress was three months late and by the time it did arrive, it was only half finished, with crooked seams, tears, and everything from needles to hair and leaves caught in the tulle. Plus it wasn't even close to the design we'd discussed, making it necessary that my mother totally redesign, recreate and resew a dress for which we'd already paid quite a bit of money.

Later I realized that getting into my dress was indeed the only real hitch in our getting hitched, and that the rest of the night was fan-fucking-tastic and that's pretty damn fortunate. As soon as I saw Erik right before the ceremony, it didn't matter one bit that I'd forgotten to pluck one of my eyebrows because I was too busy being pushed and pulled and sewn into my dress by my superhero of a mama who barely had time to get ready herself. It didn't matter that I used the wrong gloss over my lip pencil, creating a grated cheese affect on my mouth during the ceremony (I promptly swallowed all the little chunks), because Erik looked fine as hell, and we were getting married. And that was awesome.

♥ ♥ ♥

Images by One Love Photo -- these are just a few of my favorites from the day. Head over to the One Love blog to see tons more (so big and pretty!) and read all about the day.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Know any cool girls with tiny feet?

Someone needs to buy these  

-- tweeted Vanessa at me just now

These are also good. (And also tiny.)

Can I Uninvite My Dad?

Dear ESB,

First, I would like to say thank you for bringing humor and snark to the wedding planning process. I probably shouldn't admit that I read around 7 wedding blogs a day but yours is always the first. I'm hoping that you will have some advice for me. 

My dad left when I was young, stopped paying child support and overall just kind of sucked at the whole being a dad thing. I was angry with him for most of my teens and early twenties but I decided that the anger was really only hurting me and that I needed to accept him for who he is if I'm going to have him as part of my life. Since doing that our relationship is okay, not great. Long before I was ever engaged I decided that I would have my mom (who is awesome) walk me down the aisle for my wedding but I always dreaded having to tell my dad. However, when the time came I pulled up my big girl pants and we went to lunch and I told him how I felt. It was a good talk and he was supportive of my decision and even offered to give me a small(ish) amount of money to help with the wedding. He also asked for a father daughter dance and I agreed. 

Fast forward 8 months later, my wedding is only 2 months away and he has given me a quarter of the money that he promised and has overall been avoiding me and flaking out on any plans. I confronted him about it and he apologized but said that my grandmother (his mom) and my stepmom are "pissed" about the wedding and that is why he hasn't given me the money and has been avoiding me. We had lunch shortly after and he explained that my stepmom basically doesn't think that I deserve any money from him (I guess that's why he never paid child support). At this lunch he told me that we would have dinner with my stepmom to work things out that that he would definitely give me the money. 

Now it's two weeks later and nothing has happened and he's basically avoiding me again. It really isn't (and never was) about the money but now I sort of feel like I keep giving him chances because we really could use the extra money for the wedding. My sister and my mom want me to cut all ties with him and uninvite them to the wedding and my fiance is starting to be on the same page. I'm torn, can I just uninvite my dad to my wedding?

Daddy Issues?

P.S. The amount of money is basically enough to cover the cost of attendance for the 6 members of his family. 


Do you want to sever all ties?

Do you want your dad out of your life FOREVER?

He's clearly not the one holding the checkbook, and also he is a complete wuss, and that sucks.

But if you rescind their invitation to the wedding you will just be validating what your stepmother has told him all along: you don't deserve the money.

TAVI by Petra Collins via Pamela Love

Sunday, July 7, 2013

I have failed you.

I meant to be sarcastic about the damn sequin dress.

My first draft read something like WHAT ARE YOU CIRCUS PERFORMERS? ICE DANCERS?? / I don't know how to help you.

But then I found the Reese photo, which led to the (much too subtle, apparently) elephant joke, and also I found that fucking Free People dress, which seemed like exactly what the OP was looking for.... But it's not my job to give you what you think you're looking for. It's my job to give you what you NEED.

You do not need to wear a skating dress in a wedding. Not even if you're The Dream Team.

Sooooooooo. I will go back to recommending sack dresses or whatever and stop fucking pandering.


ondria hardin by paolo roversi for dazed & confused july 2013 via Enid Hwang