Non-cheesy first anniversary present?

I get that buying a present for your spouse is deeply personal and you can't really give someone advice, blah blah blah. But I am looking for inspiration for a non-cheesy first anniversary present for my husband.

I like the idea of following the traditional gifts -- paper for year one, but the best ideas on the internet are 1) buy tickets to a sporting event so your man will remember you totz get him, 2) make a dumb craft project with maps of places you have lived, or 3) write a love letter every day of your first year of marriage (too late, and where would you hide 365 love letters in a studio apartment anyway?).

There must be something better. Thoughts?

*****

Is he a word person? A visual person? A food person?

What is his very favorite object?

*****

He is a serious word person. Mostly history but also comic books (he got some unlimited online subscription and is now working his way chronologically through esoteric old series). Loves food, especially barbecue. 

Favorite object would probably be a tie between his grandfather's Danish rocking chair and our spherical ice cube molds.

*****

So basically he's awesome. And (irrelevant here) a whiskey drinker.

I say find a first edition of a book he loves. Does anyone know where to shop for such a thing?



Pink Package by Maira Kalman

I want a birthday do-over

Is that a terrible thing to say?

We've been so pooped from the wedding planning, there hasn't been any kind of birthday party around here in three years.

Maybe I'll throw a surprise anniversary party for H.

(Photos via Scout Holiday)

If I were to get married now...................

from Chandra of Greer Chicago

Our wedding was a stripped-down affair with a finely-honed list of attendees that included myself, my husband Steve, Judge Hogan and a nice lady whose name I didn’t catch.

Steve and I had been long-time cohabiters when I decided to put a ring on it and proposed to him in mid-December. We set a date of January 12 because that was the fastest we could get all of the legalities taken care of. When we make a decision we like to get on with it.

Our wedding (appointment?) was scheduled for mid-afternoon so we both worked in the morning and met up in the lobby of my office, the Amoco building. At the appointed time I glided down the escalator in a humble grey sweater and grey wool skirt to meet my nervous betrothed in his shirt, tie and only pair of good slacks. He later told me he was scared I wouldn’t show up although that was unlikely since we were living together and I’d have to show up eventually. Maybe he thought I’d throw him over for a rousing discussion of oil shipments from Venezuela. Mmm hmm.

Anyway, we walked over to the Daley Center where Judge Hogan fixed us up. We’ll never forget him saying we seemed to be very much in love. Nor the other young bride and groom who were waiting outside his office and seemed to be very much in a hurry to get married if you catch my drift. I think Judge Hogan’s retired now, but for years, whenever he ran for reelection we affectionately voted for him. 

After the ceremony we celebrated at a long-gone restaurant, Randall’s for Ribs. We should have played it like that scene in “Tom Jones," but we kept it civil. We honeymooned in Paris but unfortunately it was about 4 months later.

When East Side Bride asked me to write about what I would do differently if I knew then what I know now I asked myself “Would you have a ‘real’ wedding?” “Would you still hang with Judge Hogan but throw a big party afterwards?” Honestly, the answer is “No” and “No.” I like how we got married. It’s a memory that only we will share and we think there’s something powerfully romantic about that. Neither of us likes being the center of that much attention, anyway.

HOWEVER.

If I had it to do over I would ramp up the fabulous factor, oh, about 10000%. 

1) First of all, I’d wait until the weather was warmer, perhaps late-May, so I wouldn’t have to celebrate my wedding anniversary in the dead of winter for the next fifty years.

2) I’d still go to work the morning of only because I love a good day into night challenge and this would be the ultimate -- from “Work to Wedding!” in just a few wildly-expensive steps!

3) I’d start with this dress by Michael Kors.

4) And just to keep the guys – and they were ALL guys – in check I’d demurely cover up with this jacket by Willow.

5) I like being on-time for meetings both professional and social so I think I’d need this Gucci watch.

6) Before the ceremony, I’d exchange these for this pair of Rene Caovilla t-straps.

7) I’d sprinkle these Marni crystals on the lapel of my jacket or maybe along the neckline of my dress.

8) And because I need a feminine pop of color I’d exchange my work bag for this Christian Louboutin clutch. I don’t know what I’ve actually done with my work bag but I can’t worry about that right now.

9) A simple black Alexander McQueen suit for my man, paired with a Lee Allison tie and a well-made Church’s brogue. And, yes, he’d wear these things, he likes to look sharp.

10) He’d be carrying a bouquet of pale blue roses from Suzanne Cummings for me (although the little Carnation-laden bouquet he actually gave me was very sweet).

11) We’d upgrade from ribs to a mind-blowing dinner at Alinea.

12) Followed by a night in a mind-blowing suite at Trump Tower and Hotels where we’d have a cake from Bittersweet Pastry waiting for us (we’ll need something that’s been frozen for a year to force down on our first anniversary.)

13) Finally, instead of sending out wedding announcements (which perhaps raise the expectations of gifts which we wouldn’t want) we’d write notes on lovely, heart-shaped Twinrockers paper to our family and closest friends telling them how much they mean to us and how we looked forward to continuing to share our lives with them as wife and husband. Despite the fact they weren’t invited to our wedding.

So that would be our nuptial extravaganza. Over the top, oh yeah, but this is all hypothetical anyway so what the hell. But 24 years later I can honestly say how we were actually married was just fine. More than fine. We’re still together, still in love and that’s what counts. Oh, and we’re going to Paris for our 25th wedding anniversary. In the dead of winter.

(Catch up with the rest of the series here.)

ban.do + The Madonna Inn

Since I didn't manage to take any blogworthy photos while I was at the ban.do studio on Monday,* I'll just give you this rad image from the new issue of Paper Mag featuring a custom ban.do headpiece, styled by Shirley Kurata and shot at the Madonna Inn.

While I'm at it, may I recommend the Madonna Inn?** On our first anniversary, H-town and I spontaneously packed up our two-day "camping trip" a day early and spent the night in the Madonna's Vous room, which features a round king-size bed and rounded walls. It was like being inside a David Lynch movie. In a really really good way.

Via i heart ban.do

*Hey, I was too busy giggling and putting things on my head. Who knew I would have so much fun putting things on my head?

**No connection to Madonna Louise Ciccone. This place has been around since she was born.

I may have caught the holiday spirit.

Mock me if you must, but I think it happened somewhere between getting my hair cut on Fairfax and using an old credit (!) to buy two PERFECT presents at Buffalo Exchange on La Brea. Guess I ought to venture west more often.

Today I'll be cleaning house, roasting spiced pecans and attempting pomegranate champagne punch.* I'm more of a bourbon girl, as you know, but we've got a bottle of "California Champagne" languishing in the cupboard that was an anniversary gift from the Madonna Inn and I'm damned if I'm gonna let it go to waste.

(Image via fine little day)

*Unless anyone's got a better champagne punch recipe? I was planning to substitute organic vodka for the rum because a) organic = NO HANGOVER and b) what do I want with leftover rum?!

Why renew your vows unless you've BROKEN THEM?

Hey East Side Bride!

I've been following your blog for a long time and I've always loved your thoughts and advice. I got married in February of this year and my husband and I were thinking about renewing our vows and having our closest friends over for a party on our 1 year anniversary. He thinks it's a great idea but I'm worried it might be too cheesy to renew our vows every year. I don't want it to seem too self-indulgent, as if I have to have another "wedding" every year! Of COURSE we will NOT ask for/accept gifts and we won't have bridesmaids or groomsmen or anything. Just a quick ceremony and then party. What are your thoughts?

*****

Hey Anonymous,

Funny you should ask... I was just ranting about this the other day. A vow renewal implies -- to me -- that someone has broken a vow. (See: Madonna and Guy Ritchie) The concept originated with couples who were rebuilding their marriages. It skeeves me out that people have started to use it as an excuse to plan what is essentially a second wedding, egged on by consumer-oriented wedsites like The Knot that offer helpful advice like "Either engrave your original bands with something new (perhaps the date of your vow renewal or a cute sentiment like "I Love You, Part II") or purchase new rings expressly for the reaffirmation -- there's never a bad time to upgrade jewelry!"

Um. BARF.

I get that you're not trying to have another wedding. So I say throw a badass anniversary party and let it be just that: an anniversary party. Unless you (or your husband) feel a pressing need, I'd leave the vow renewal out of it.

Love,
ESB

(Photo by Paolo Roversi via .v via this is glamorous)

can we retire the clunky use of "date night"?

A tweet from Lauren inspired me to beg her for a guest post last night as my plane was pulling away from JFK. And here it is:

so barack and michelle obama celebrated their anniversary this saturday. man, i love watching them interact: they're both so accomplished! their body language is so endearing (their campaign fist bump was goddamn adorable)! they make a point of spending private time together! they're like a little fish bowl, except they have a bunch of advanced degrees and i don't have to feed them shrimp flakes. obama relationship headlines would be the greatest thing ever - if they didn't force me to deal with the bullshit that is "date night" over and over.

i could fill several screens with my hatred of "date night" - think madeline kahn in clue, flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. heaving breath - but i think yesterday's twitter rant with meg (who was terribly patient with me) sums it up nicely.

can we retire the clunky use of "date night" re: married people? i do not date my husband, thanks.

seeing a movie, going out for drinks, getting dinner. a term cheapens what should be natural and makes it sound forced.

like the media called it "date night" when the obamas went out for their 17th anniversary. that's the dumbest shit i've heard all day.

the concept ("us night," if you will) is fine; the term itself reinforces the idea that romance dies when dating becomes marriage.

i'm an editor at a women's magazine; if i can get over "date night," anyone can. let's kick it with our husbands, by all means - but let's use language that does our relationships justice, yes?

YES.

p.s. H-town and I barely dated in the first place. So who says dating is romantic. Is what I'd like to add.

(Image via The Sassy Kathy via ffffound)

courthouse polaroids

Speaking of unpretentious wedding photos.... I love these.

Read about Stacy and TJ's wedding, the party, and why they got married on la boudoir. Happy one-year anniversary, lady!