Moping motherless maniac (the Follow Up!)

Hey ESB,

I wanted to give you a little update on what happened after I wrote you in May of 2011. I took your advice and stopped wedding planning for a couple of months to try and work through my grief and give myself some much-needed head space. In the fall of 2011, my then-fiance and I took a vacation to Italy to visit my father, who was living there at the time, and we fell back in love with Florence and re-solidified our desire (need) to get hitched there. When I got back to the states, my excitement was renewed about the whole wedding thing.

I don't know that I mentioned this in my first post, but I was studying in Florence years ago and my Mom and stepdad came to visit and I mentioned that one day (when I was ready to commit to anything other than cheap wine), I'd want to get married in Florence. The woman STOLE MY IDEA and married my amazing stepdad in Florence in 2006. She loved Italy more than any place on earth. After her wedding, I reminded her that I was still getting married there one day, to which she would laugh and point out my endless string of bad boyfriends and we'd laugh together. 

I totally lucked out when, about 3 weeks into dating, my then-boyfriend tells me that Florence is the most romantic place in the world and he loved it too. I took the perspective that planning a wedding there, to show off the glory of my Mom's (and our) favorite city, was like my final swan song to her. Because she had been privy to some of my super-early pre-engagement wedding ideas (and because we were closer than Charlton Heston and his guns), I felt like I could imagine how she would critique and improve upon my and my then-fiance's plans and ideas. In a weird way, planning my wedding was the last thing we would ever do together. And it felt like she was there with me for every step of the way.

I also was blessed to have an amazing network of people to help me: my fiance, my aunts, my grandmother, my two dads and my friends. They were there for all of it: the crafting, the bad wedding show marathons, the endless dress search (when I tried on 42 dresses and ended up in tears because I didn't know which one I loved and my Mom couldn't weigh in). Oh, and because my fiance wanted my dress to look like the one in the Guns and Roses November Rain video...boys are silly. Finally I found a dress by Carol Hannah, who was on Project Runway when my Mom was sick and she and I would lie in her bed and watch together (and be catty and bitchy and all that good stuff) and Carol Hannah was our absolute favorite. The dress was perfectly me and the connection to Mom through CH made it that much more special.

Anyway, this is us here.

We kept it small--20 guests, a morning wedding with an extravagant luncheon. Was it hard? Sure. Did everyone cry a ton? Yup. But Mom was everywhere. She had been married in the same room I was vowing to be with my husband for eternity. That was POWERFUL. The toasts were sobbing messes. But there's this wedding day magic that people who draw hearts above their "i"s talk about that is so totally real and takes over and all you can focus on is that you're marrying your best friend and nothing can get you down (bronchitis be damned). 

I don't know what I believe happens to people when they die, but in one way or another, Mom was there (in the art and the smell of the food and the architecture and the winding, cobbled streets of Florence) and she was so damn happy for us.

--No longer Moping or Hyperventilating. 

*****

Way to go, ladypants!!!

It's so great to hear the real story behind some of the glossygorgeous images featured on SMP...

(Photo by Lisa Poggi)

Temperley FTW

Did anyone catch Project Runway last week?

Alice Temperley was a guest judge, and she wore this dress with red lipstick and (something like) these shoes. (They might have been wedges.)

Anyhoo, the combo was SO GOOD

HAIR WOES

Dear Eastsidebride,

I had been feeling quite smug and delighted with myself as wedding planning so far has been breezy but have come across a major stumbling block that I need your help with!!

Am wearing this dress by Elizabeth Dye in four weeks to my wedding. Fell in love with it instantly and as I'm a ballet dancer it just seemed like kismet that it was named Giselle. Shoes, rings, honeymoons, menus and even guest lists haven't been a problem but am recently starting to feel like the hair issue may get the better of me.

I have always had quite bold hair that just won't do what it's told. It's long and blonde-ish and resembles a lions mane and not in a cool way. It's pretty much the bane of my life! at work I leave it down, shove it up in a bun and generally ignore it but it's only starting to dawn on me now that I should figure out what the hell to do with it soon as there will be photos (ugh) and people looking at me (double ugh). My mom insists that I have to wear it up because otherwise it will ruin the line of the dress or some such nonsense. I do take her point though that I don't want to be at it all day trying to tame it. Basically I just want to know what to do with it so that I can tick it off my damn list and not have to think I have wonky hair on the day!

Things to consider

-not a fan of flowers/buns/hairbands on the side of the head. the lack of symmetry makes me feel lop-sided and a little disturbed.

-I have a fear of hairdressers so nothing too drastic (I know I know I did threaten to shave it!)

Please help me so that I can go back to feeling smug and practicing drinking champagne!

*****

Would you PRETTY PLEASE wear a big sexy ballerina bun on top of your head?

Martha Stewart endorsed the look months ago (and then of course what's-her-name tried to rock it on Project Runway) but I haven't seen a real bride knock it out of the park.

p.s. duh.

Woodsy Chic New Brunswick Wedding

I'm thrilled to share these details from the wedding of Stephen Kopp & Monica Adair, a pair of badass architects based in Saint John. As Monica and I wrote back and forth over the past few months, I became convinced that we're kindred spirits.

We got married on the new moon, on August 30, 2008. I think we were on a wedding high for a full month after the wedding.

The theme of the wedding was ‘woods chic’ with our own familial twist. My mother, who was born in Mexico, is the oldest of 18 children and is used to entertaining large crowds. We embraced some of those traditions to really inspire the day. My mother and father were also married in the woods, on a volcano outside of Mexico City. I absolutely adore her photos and was inspired to create something as authentic as they had.





It was a wedding of embodied energy – the energy of friends and family coming together to build the day that we have been thinking about ever since. Everyone got involved. Some learned how to drive tractors to build the dance floor, some helped build altars, while others laid the hundred glow sticks that created the path in the dark woods to and from the dance floor. A local farmer provided the hay bales for the ceremony seating that found their way to insulating the cabins on the site after the wedding. My mother sewed yards of table runners made from two textured tweed fabrics tied together with a red silk ribbon, my father, who owns a furniture company, searched for the richly coloured fuchsia seats for the dinner, my uncle spent weeks splitting wood for the head table and altar.

The papel picado, personalized white streamers hand cut in Mexico, were an amazing gift from the family in Mexico. We just recently spent our honeymoon in Mexico City and connected with our distant family. The wedding really brought us closer together.

And no Mexican wedding is complete without piñatas. Forget coffee as a wake-me up after a long dinner and speeches, piñatas helped set the tone for a long night of dancing. A light rain drizzle set the mood and some blindfolded dangerous swinging was a great lead-in to a long night of dancing and late-night swimming. The piñatas were filled with Mexican treats, carefully chosen from markets around Mexico City by my aunt Margarita and cousin Laura.


Buffalo plaid & a feathered cap >> Over 10 years ago, I fell in love with a photo of a woman in a wooden canoe paddling in a plaid dress. It has stuck with me ever since. I spent a great deal of time in the trenches of the Garment District of NY looking for buffalo plaid in wool – surely one would think that the fabric store for ‘Project Runway’ would have buffalo plaid in red and black – sadly no. After another, literally 50 store visits, I returned to the first fabric store and a man in there suggested I try one more store – sure enough – buffalo plaid – the last 4 yards – my future dress.

Julie Culberson, a local seamstress who happened to have done design for a theatre company’s production of Caesar, seemed like a perfect person to execute my small fantasy. The plaid shawl was cinched together over a taffeta J. Crew dress with a belt I found in a great little store. I was torn between wearing a white dress and the plaid dress from my memory; this was a way to manage the pull in all directions. I also loved wearing cowboy boots on my wedding day – I love boots and dresses.


I spent the rest of the day trying to find the perfect feathers – only in new York would I be so lucky to find a place where they were making the hats for the fall collection of Ralph Lauren and the costumes for carnival – whose hats were absolutely incredible – I was in pheasant heaven as I spent the afternoon handpicking each feather that adorned the centerpieces, table settings and finally the spectacular hat that milliner and designer Frennel Morris from Still Life helped me create.



The food>> My brother and chef, Jose, put together a beautiful menu of local appetizers, and he and my mother, a natural born food lover and maker, put together a meal for 150 that people are still talking about today. The menu consisted of a mix of local and Mexican treats: Mole chicken, achiote pork, plantains, tortillas, and a feast of other Mexican-inspired foods. We had a vegetarian friend that night who couldn’t resist and tried the chicken and hasn’t looked back since.


3am brought scavengers back to the tent in search of those last licks of probably the best cake we have ever had. If you ever come east, head to the Happy Baker where you will find this prized Baker – Holger Mammen. When we told him we wanted to make a 42” cake he talked us down to something that would fit through a door, but he was willing to take on a challenge. He beautifully rendered our family crest in gold icing and it was a slice of heaven.


Flowers>> My bridesmaid Katie's mother Gillian Wallace was our florist, and we knew she hit the theme spot-on when she showed up with a car full of cat tails, pussy willows and wild flowers galore. I do think they were the most inspired arrangements I had ever seen and I loved the trailing bouquet that was put in my arms just hours before the wedding.

The lens>> While many of our friends have showered us with great photographs of the wedding week, we were pretty damn lucky to have friend and photographer Karl Redding as our official 'third wheel' for our wedding – he made it feel easy and kept it all quite real. His thoughtfulness carried past his photographs and into all his help from climbing trees to folding napkins in the wee hours of the morning.

The lodge & cabins >> I spent many a weekend at my aunt and uncle’s lodge and cabins on the Kingston Peninsula in New Brunswick. It was exactly the place that best fit our wedding. Adair’s Lodge & Cabins is a wonderful place for an escape into quiet rustic country along the Saint John River.



Our friends made it happen.

We tried our best to design as many things as we could for the wedding and when we could we wanted to showcase our friends' talents: Our wedding favors were beautiful fishing flies designed by our friend Rich Cassidy. Meghan Barton, a talented artist friend of ours silk-screened our crest for the floating candles. Darren Emineau’s (MNO) pottery housed the flowers and served the head table. The ring-bearing dog's plaid outfit was made by Darren’s partner Alex, and Sam delivered the ring with perfect timing and elegance, heading straight to the pond for a dip upon completion of his task in true dog style. As for ‘les bijoux,' we asked local jewelry designer Jeneca Klausen to design our bridesmaids’ jewelry for the wedding, a commission she was perfect for: asymmetrical antlers, lava rocks and twig-like silver branches are just some of the one-of-a-kind gems that she designed for the ladies. John Wallace cut our serving-trays out of an 18” tree trunk. My maid of honour Charlotte Macdonell was like a full time logistics coordinator for the hundreds of details that were being fabricated up to the last minute of the wedding; she also got stuck making floating lantern bases out of left over tile we ripped up from an old reno.

Our farewell party was at happinez wine bar, where stephen and I had designed the little wine patio ‘hapito’ for our friend and owner of the bar. It was fun to have a party in something we actually designed.


As if I haven’t gone on enough, a few of my favorite moments>>

My brother Manuel wadding in water with a post-ceremony canoe full of Moosehead Beer for our guests>>Stephen’s vows>>Pre-wedding swimming for the boys in the pond >>the skinny dip that ended the dance and the hours of laughing at the camp-fire>>realizing we had nowhere to sleep and ending up in our tent…no better way to end a night of stars and lights.

I absolutely loved, loved our wedding. I can’t thank everyone enough for making it so real.

an open letter to Leanne Marshall

Dear Leanne (imal),

Watcha been up to since you won Project Runway?

No pressure, but I really hope you're working on a line of organic cotton wedding dresses. For some reason, most of the eco-conscious custom gowns currently available are a) nouveau hippie or b) Ren-Faire hippie.*

There is a serious dearth of wedding dresses that are truly both eco and chic. Will you be the one to step up? (I mean, hello.)

The "hippies" aren't the only ones who want to go green.

Love,
ESB

*Real hippies don't get married. They don't need some piece of paper from the man.

for the avant-garde bride

One-of-a-kind dress by Leanimal, one of the new contestants on Project Runway.

Snap this baby up from her etsy shop! Seriously, buy it right now (and send me pictures, please).