Miamify my wardrobe

Dear ESB,

I am moving to MIAMI in the fall for work. I read your fantastic guide to the city and am so so excited for the food, the beach, Wynwood, speaking Spanish, and a new place.

But. I'm nervous, too. I have moved around a ton and always found a great community and made a great life, but this is going to be worlds apart from the Midwestern and East Coast cities where I have spent my whole life. 

My fear of moving is manifesting in the particular anxiety that I don't know how to dress in Miami (I don't think I will have much use for the oversize sweater/short skirt/wool tights outfits that I have perfected). 

I get that fixing my clothes isn't going to resolve the larger problem, but humor a girl. I have a bit of a bonus coming my way soon -- if you were going to spend about $500 to update your wardrobe for such a move, what would you get?

Besos.

*****

WHO SAYS the right wardrobe won't fix everything?? I would never make that ludicrous claim.

Since I have not once set foot in Miami, I brought back the badass Caro, our resident Miami expert....

Hola!

The key to being happy while living in Miami: Live like you’re on vacation. Or at least pretend like you’re on vacation as much as you possibly can. I.E. Go to the beach, drink Miami Vices, wear shorts everywhere.

My six tips for MIAMI-fying your wardrobe:

1. Neon is a neutral. Over here it’s summer year-round, which means you can wear color all the time. Ever since neon arrived at J.Crew, I’ve been keeping these shorts + t-shirts in heavy rotation.

Editor's Note: Stock up! That shit is on sale.

2. Always bring a sweater. Miami air conditioning is not subtle. Find a goes-with-everything cardigan [also on sale] you can leave in your purse because the transition from 90F to 65F every single time you walk into a building isn’t something your body acclimates to all that quickly.

3. Always have on hand: emergency flip-flops and emergency heels. After-work thunderstorms and after-work happy hours are equally likely – you should be prepared for either. Keep a pair of flip flops in your purse to protect your work flats in case of tropical weather, and a pair of black pumps in your car to switch into once you get to the bar.

4. You need at least one dependable clubbing/bar-crawling outfit. Bar-hopping starts at 11:30 PM at the earliest and everyone outside of Wynwood will expect you to wear heels. I default to colorful stilettos and a black minidress I bought at Forever 21, but if I had money to burn I’d go with this BCBG body-con dress [sale sale sale].

5. You need two bathing suits: one to look cute in and one to tan in. And if you heed my advice about living like you’re on vacation, you’re probably going to wear them out pretty quickly.... so consider your tanning bikini an investment. I like the bandeau tops from Victoria Secret because they’re not egregiously expensive and even though they have that fun strappy back detail they don’t actually leave horrendous tan lines.

Editor's Note: PLS WEAR SUNSCREEN. BOTH OF YOU.

6. Frizz-Ease. Because the humidity is real.

*****

And a few updated Miami recommends because my lady Caro knows how to live......

Eat: Butcher Shop, Khong River House, Swine, Uvaggio.

Drink: Broken Shaker (it’s permanent now, and still awesome), The Reagent Cocktail Club, the Martini Bar at the Raleigh Hotel, Wynwood Brewing Company, AC’s Icees.

(Image via Freehand Miami, home of the Broken Shaker)

Be Merry: Spend a day at the Standard, go get cinnamon buns at Knaus Berry Farm, check out the new art museum, rent some kayaks, host a bbq at the beach.

Just because you’re living like you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you need to pay vacation prices for your booze. Find reasonably-priced craft beer without driving to BFE (“Butt-Fucking-Egypt”, aka Kendall, aka, really really far) at: this gas station, this unassuming convenience store, this other unassuming convenience store. And this gas station has a tapas restaurant and an imported wine selection with great priced.

In my original post, I told you the wonders of Publix (cookies, pastelitos, etc), but now that you’re going to be a local, you need to know about PubSubs. Publix Sub Sandwiches: you can order them online ahead of time at most locations now, and getting a chicken finger sub to pair with a cucumber-lime Gatorade and some chilled pinot grigio for a day on the beach is nirvana. Trust me. They put chicken fingers IN THE SANDWICH. You’re welcome.

Finding parking on South Beach takes the same sort of blind faith ancient cultures put into rain dances – believe there will be parking and it shall appear. Be patient. Also, be sure to download the PayByPhone parking app – you can add more time directly from your phone and if your address is local you'll save 20%.

No one is on time anywhere.

Probably because they’re looking for parking.

But don’t take public transportation, seriously. That stranger who punched my friend in the face on the train, he’s punched other people now.

Uber is still not available, but UberX and Lyft are operating illegally anyway and staying true to the city’s time-honored tradition of ignoring most vehicular-related legislature (using your turn signal is widely regarded as a sign of weakness).

Bienvenidos!

Image at top: Zara S/S 2013 via Style Pantry (Maybe more Palm Springs than Miami? Miami style scares me a little, you guys.)

Seeking: the perfect black maxi

Hey girl hey,

So I need your powerful army of internet diggers to find the perfect black maxi. One that you can wear to A N Y T H I N G. The sandy hot beach that you'll never get to because you live in SF and it's so expensive so how can you go on vacation, with a cardigan so you can wear it to work, to a fancy dinner, and maybe occasionally it's a nightgown. You know what I mean? I'm talking about a wardrobe workhorse, here. Preferably something that your gigantic boobs can handle. No spaghetti straps, sil vous plait.

Soooooooooooo? Am I asking too much?

Love ever,
hbomb

*****

You're making ME want this perfect black maxi, and I haven't worn a maxi since, like, 1998?

I have a couple of rules to add: Must be hand-washable and made of breathable fabric (i.e. NO FUCKING POLYESTER)



SHOP AWAY MY SHOPPING ELVES

we're counting on you.












Image: Apiece Apart FW 2013

______________________________

p.s. unrelated: this is the best thing on the internet

speaking of ebay....

Should I repair my favorite favorite favorite but overly-shredded pair of boyfriend jeans thusly? (I'm not even joking about this.)

I could also run them over a few times and hopefully pick up a little grease off the street. (That is a joke.)

And then I would probably have to rock em with black stilettos so as not to look like a hobo. (Not joking.)

my imaginary uniform

$575 is too rich for my blood, but I'm clicking through every fucking day waiting for this sucker to go on sale.

Related: These platform booties are KILLING ME. Loeffler Randall is have a huge sale -- 20% off everything until October 28 -- but now that I'm un(der)employed again my shoe budg is pretty much nil.

SeaVees + Teva at BARNEYS?

I've been resisting the damn Birkenstock trend like CRAZY, but I just might go for these.

a) I have never owned a pair of Tevas. Made mad fun of them when all the Seattle dudes were wearing em back in the 90's, but I have never owned a pair.

b) Now that I live in Southern California.... and frequent rocky beaches/get in and out of boats now and then.... I kinda get it.

c) Should I just kill myself?

Where do the cool girls shop? Part 1.

(Garrett Leight from Mohawk General Store)

The people have spoken, and they have demanded a Where do the cool girls shop? series. (But you just launched a new series! I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY.)

To start, I figured I'd hit up some of ESB's best/coolest shoppers. Duh.

Here's Rachel A\\\\\, who just so happens to live in my neighborhood and also has AMAZING HAIR. Is that relevant? I think yes.

Anyhoo. Here she is, with a guide to shopping Los Angeles/online/the mall/your mom's closet....

Los Angeles is, bar none, the most versatile clothes-shopping city on the west coast. We're equal opportunity -- whether you want to look like a hipster farmhand, a platinum-card princess, or a derby doll, we've got you covered. Still, I’m such a magpie scrounging clothes from all over the damn place that when asked to share my favorite places to shop, I generally freeze up. A list of where I wished I shopped, or where I solely window-shop, would be far easier… but for the first time (only for you, ESB), I'll try. My top places where I’ve actually bought more than one thing ever include:

aerie - The "vintage lace bikini" from AE's aerie line is my biggest life-improvement secret. You're welcome.

(Vintage lace bikini from aerie)

American Rag - Their denim bar is the best. Stuff that isn't sold anywhere (Naked & Famous!) turns up there. I haven't bought anything else at AmRag in years but if your pockets are deep it's a great resource for everything else, too. P.S. My second-favorite jeans are from Forever 21.

ASOS - THE BEST ONLINE SHOPPING EVAR. Shipping is always free, there's a new vintage section that seems really rad, and their sales are great for stuff like a wool-and-leather cape that sounds insane but turns out to be indispensable.

Barneys - Since we don't have Bergdorfs, when you need big-girl clothes the next best is Barneys. 

Designer sample sales - 100% A-#1 way to shop. Every LA-based designer has to get rid of backstock at some point, and R29 is really good at tracking all the upcoming sales.

Jet Rag - for vintage that isn't (necessarily) costumey, Jet Rag is a joy. Their racks of everything-under-the-sun are arranged by category and color (<3 <3); they have loads of great leather jackets and so-hot-right-now vintage Hawaiian shirts if you want to bring your guy along; I got my Enid Coleslaw outfit there; and my very favorite skinny teal belt is from their weekly $1 Sunday sale.

[Editor's Note: I've now been living in LA for 7+ years. How have I never heard of the $1 Sunday sale??]

J.Crew - wait for their sales, when all the best weird sweaters, ugly-patterned pencil skirts and sherbet-color ballet flats get marked way way down. I also want 9 million of their super-flattering "perfect-fit" tank tops to wear under EVERYTHING.

Jenette Bras - for those on the stacked side (or just weirdly sized like me), Jenette's skivvies selection and ferociously knowledgable ladies are lifesavers. 

Mohawk General Store - I hate how much I like Mohawk General. Their independent clothing and shoe designer roster is flawless, but it's the gorgeous mid-century decor, jewelry by my lovely friend Kristen Elspeth (OBSESSED with the silver finger chain I just got from her), Garrett Leight glasses, CDG clutches, and Mast Bros. chocolate that make you want to move in.

My lady relatives - I've raided the closets of my mother, my stepmother, my aunts, my grandma, my other grandma, my best friend's grandma, my mother's boyfriend's mother… this isn't a store, it’s just a tip: befriend All The Moms.

Steven Alan - I used to work in Venice and stop into the neighboring SA store almost daily to try on shoes by Marais and Rachel Comey, floral button-downs, leather bags, and the wonderfullest little gold rings made by Steven's dad.

(Boyfriend shirt from Steven Alan)

Zara - fun for basics, incredible for shoes. SHOES SHOES SHOES. SHOES.


If you're interested in writing a guide to shopping your city/the mall/online/your mom's closet (or whatever your version of that is), hit me up!

someone please get married in THIS

French Lace Top by Raquel Allegra (boy do I have a style crush on her)

PhD Panic

Dear ESB,

Ummm, so... I’m having a bit of wardrobe crisis.

In ten days time I have the most important exam of my life so far. Obviously, as opposed to working, I’m busy stressing about clothes.

I am about to take the transfer (upgrade) exam from MPhil to PhD. The exam is a viva voce, although not as long or scary, as the one at the end of PhD. It's an hour and a half long in front of a panel of 5 academics.

I don't know what to wear and I know it shouldn't matter but it really, really does. The problem is I'm studying at art college (this one), in the fashion department. My tutors wear Comme des Garçons and Margiela, my co-students wear their own creations and I have been writing in my pajamas for the last three weeks

My style up until recently was sort of tangled vintage. The thing is I'm 32, I want to be taken seriously and I'm not sure 30s tea dresses and laddered tights cut it anymore? I don’t want to look like a manic pixie dream girl; I want to look competent and strong. I'm just not quite sure how to do it.

So could someone find me the perfect PhD exam outfit? Dress or skirt and top with awesome shoes would be wonderful. I'm a UK 10, blonde, pale and extremely curvy (big ass and big tits). I need to be able to purchase online (and preferably in the UK).

Demanding, I know….

Bit in love with these shoes, btw……

Budget: About £300? I am profligate as well as unproductive

*****

go minimalist

a black dress (zara again)

and killer shoes, obvs

if you want snakeskin
i vastly prefer this pair
note: get your hair cut!

Holy shit, this woman is cool.

Makes me feel a little better about approaching 40.

NOW TO GET MY LEATHER PANTS TAKEN IN.


(Linda Rodin courtesy of The Coveteur)

Speaking of sheer tops....

Kidchamp just found the ultimate in what to wear under sheer tops.

I MEAN:

Right??

(I'll take the sweater, too.)


**UPDATE: kidchamp reports that the straps are flimsy. Sadly, this bra may not be rated for ppl who need bras.**

welcome to my new favorite shirt

This mesh tee from Sarafan + Duende arrived in the mail from Pour Porter yesterday and I almost lost my shit. Even H said, "Wow, that's cool" the instant I opened the box.

[Update: They are now SOLD OUT!]


p.s. I got an email recently asking "where do the cool girls shop?" Pour Porter is definitely one of those spots.

p.p.s. Maybe "where do the cool girls shop?" could be a new series. Or would that be redundant?

PANTS

I WANT THESE PANTS.

Both pairs.

That is all.

Black shoes shouldn't be hard, right?

Hi ESB,

I'm a grad student and a bridesmaid at an upcoming wedding (Iowa in March), and blah blah blah, I need low-to-flat black shoes that are under $30 and I could preferably wear again to work. The best I can find is target, payless, or Forever 21 (this or this?).

The wedding has an old Hollywood glamour sort of feel, and the dress is simple, black, and plain. I'm not generally a stylish person (did I mention I was an engineering grad student?), so I was hoping that you or your stylish readers could help me?! I generally struggle with which t-shirt has the least holes, but aspire to more eventually.

Thanks!!!

*****

First off, please please PLEASE invest in a pair of shoes that costs more than $30. Shoes made of real leather, not "faux suede" or "faux patent leather" (What does that even mean? They're not patented??) or "thermoplastic rubber." With my apologies to the vegans. I mean, if you're vegan I guess those rubber ones wouldn't be the worst.

A good pair of shoes, say an $80 pair of shoes, or even a $120 pair, will last you four times as long as the $30 ones. Longer even, if you take good care of them and reheel them when they start to wear down. And they will be comfortable, and your feet won't get all sweaty and gross, and you won't get blisters while you're dancing at that wedding or tromping around at work.

Again, my apologies to the vegans. I don't know how you do it.

Anyhoo, dear reader, I'd go with something uber-simple like these Seychelles.

(Which you could even rock with a holey t-shirt. Who's got two thumbs and loves a t-shirt full of holes? This blogger.)

$59 down from $108 on Gilt for two more days

Desperately Seeking Sonia Rykiel

Hey ESB!

So my friend is getting married and she has asked me to help her find a white dress or suit for her civil union. I've been looking all over the internet and have not found anything in her price range, style and size! 

She is a size 10, but in euro sizes more of a 14. Her budget is $500-$1000, so we've got plenty to work with. You and your readers always seem to find the perfect thing, so I figured I'd ask for your help :) 

[Pictured above] is a photo of a dress that she wants, but is unfortunately sold out.

Thank you thank you thank you!

*****

Didn't find your dress, but I did find this Sonia Rykel Asymmetrical Jumpsuit which I will be needing for that fashion-y casting gig I'm doing again this spring. 

Can anyone find me one for, like, less than $300?

kthx

What do I wear to greet my SAILOR?

ESB,

I won't make this a novella. My sailor is returning home from deployment. I can't wait to stand on the pier and watch him return...except it is New England, late February, on a pier.

What am I going to wear to this? A large luscious sweater sounds excellent but I can't seem to find anything good.

Help the Floridian be fashionable in the winter!

*****

I'm pretty sure "a large luscious sweater" is one of those things that women think are luscious and men think, like, "What is that? I can't see her boobs."

How bout a sweater DRESS?

(Steven Alan, $139 down from $229)

Knee-highs also highly recommended.


Image at top: Ashley Smith by Nico for Harper’s Bazaar Spain July/August 2011 via Fashion Gone Rogue

am i crazy?

or: would this be an adorable wedding cardigan??

Mohawk General Store via anabela

I found your PUFFER WEDDING CAPE!

Getting married in the chilly season? You're welcome.

Y's by Yohji Yamamoto at La Garconne

Apiece Apart

not sure how i feel about khaki (okay, that's not true, i know i hate khaki on ME) but i love the way these photos look together.

Apiece Apart via all the mountains

Where should I shop for my HS Reunion?

Dear ESB,

My 10 year high school reunion is in the fall. I'm really excited to go. I actually liked most of the people I went to school with and because I was a major nerd in HS, I like to think I've grown at least slightly cooler over the last 10 years. Also I came from a tiny cold New England town and now I live in gorgeous, fascinating, lively Los Angeles. 

I'm thinking about my reunion outfit already, and would really appreciate any recommendations for local shops where I could find something unique that reflects my deep love for my adopted hometown. So where should I go to shop local and get a lovely outfit? I know there are probably billions of places I just have no idea about. I'm usually a shirtdress, wide belt, leggings and leather boots kind of girl, if that gives any guidance, but I'm open to ideas.

Also as an open ended question for the commenters, what are the grossest reunion outfits? What screams, "trying too hard?" What looks fabulous?

I promise to send a picture if I end up with something from a local store and let you guys tell me all the mistakes I made!

*****

Yikes, I almost blew this one.

I say go try on dresses at Mohawk General Store (see above) in Silver Lake, or Steven Alan (see below), which has locations in Venice, West Hollywood and Los Feliz.*

Or check out Wasteland, if you've got time to dig. (I tend to frequent the Melrose store, but there are two more, in Santa Monica and Studio City.)

The key is to looking/feeling fabulous is to find a really great version of what you usually wear. 

I.E. Don't rock sequins + heels if you're a shirtdress + boots kind of girl. You don't want to feel like a fraud, you want to feel like yourself. Only... Better.

______________________________

*Steven Alan originated in NYC, but whatever.

If you had to choose three fashion idols....

....in order to play the would X wear this? game.... Who would they be?

I'd go Keith Richards, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Lisa Mayock. (Plus Patti Smith for hair, obvs.)

I am still obsessed with Lisa M's genius running shorts/platform wedge combination. Maybe I should allow myself the occasional weird eBay purchase after all?

Photos: Keith (photog unkown), Charlotte G by Jean-Baptiste Mondino, Lisa M by Kelly Stuart for Elle