Monday, June 20, 2011

How will they know you're the bride if you're not wearing a dress?

Dear ESB,

I'm getting married this summer and I still don't know what I'm wearing. The wedding is casual, and I want something I can party in. I do not want to have to change clothes at any part of the thing and I detest wearing dresses or skirts. I need to feel comfortable, and that means wearing pants (but not a suit).

The idea of wearing pants to my wedding makes me happy, it makes the future hubs happy -- my family even gets a kick out of the idea. But I'm stuck. This outfit needs to be special without being overly dressy. Over and over I'm hearing from friends, "but how will they know you're the bride if you're not wearing a dress or a veil?" (oh yeah, I think veils look stupid). Me: "because they were invited to MY wedding & they KNOW who I am." It's not like there will be strangers rolling through who will get overly concerned upon themselves about who the hell the bride of the night is. I'll wear a name tag if I have to. Still, the question is starting to make me wonder -- will *I* feel special?

I'm not reconsidering my decision to wear pants. But my little 5 year old girl heart wants to feel special on our wedding day, and though I know it's a little silly, I want it dammit. It's the one thing I'm feeling inwardly fussy about. Those pants, and the rest of the outfit, need to be fabulous. So, I am trying to look for something that is edgy/fancy/flattering all in one. It's tricky because I am not a small person - I'm quite curvy. I love my curves, but it requires the outfit to have some sort of structure so I don't look like a baggy schlump on my wedding day. This is making my shopping trips turn out more annoying than successful.

All I have so far is a soft blue top similar to this.

This is why I'm writing to you. You & your readers have some crazy amazing skill at this online shopping deal, which I seem to fail at miserably. If you have time to help a girl out, I would be forever grateful.

-- Pretty in Pants


Clearly you need SEQUINS.

Any chance you're a Size 10?

I managed to find this pair of "palazzo evening pants" on ebay.

These are pretty good too.

(Top photo: Kate Lanphear via StockholmStreetStyle via FEAR LANPHEAR via kidchamp's must-read pants-shopping primer)


  1. The sparkle blazer from last week would also be a rad option, perhaps not with the psarkle pants...

  2. ohmygod. I did not see sequins coming. OF COURSE you need sequins.

  3. cara, the whole point is that you see sequins coming.

  4. great idea, and SEND PICS of your final outfit

  5. I say detailed embellishment over sequins.

    For a lot of $$, this beautiful YSL cropped gold and silver pair is my top choice:

    Less exciting but more affordable is this Rodarte for opening ceremony pair:,default,pd.html

  6. Eep. I appear to be in the minority here, but not sequined palazzo pants!!! No. Will not flatter most curvy figures.

    Structure is your friend. If you like color, what about either of these Cacharels?

    These Opening Ceremony with straight trouser legs and ruffled pocket details feel weddingy without being weddingy. They also come in black.

    If you stick with wide leg styles, go for something made out of fabric that drapes beautifully and Katherine Hepburn the shit out them.

  7. Yeah, hmm. Depends on how curvy is curvy but if it were me, I'd do a cigarette pant in some cool material (maybe literally if it's summer), a sequin top - maybe something that hangs a little long (like this: and killer heels.

    Or I like pants like these:

    Oh, and this top:

    And just to annoy ESB, I'd love this top with almost any pants:

    OR this:

    OR this (not JCrew):

    I think the top is WAY more important than the pant - I'd just get a simple flattering pant that you feel good in. Use the top to draw attention to your smiling face.

  8. Agreed that the top needs to be pretty killer/awesome. I love the white pants that were posted up there, or even gorgeous cigarette pants, but I think you need a far more kick ass top. Possibly with embellishments or sequins:

  9. Some inspiration:

  10. like the first pants!

    my submission for pants week: danish godess ohland in a custom made stine goya ensemble

  11. i'm all for plus size women wearing sequin pants because that shit is hot. but one thing to watch out for is if the thighs touch, sequins catching can be super annoying between the legs. ruin the pants and maybe even trip you up.
    had a pair of sequin shoes and every time the right brushed the left sequins fell off, became loose and it drove me mad.

  12. you need a great ass for sequin pants. if you don't have one: may i suggest a great suit and a sequin top ?


  13. I like the lace Rodarte + Opening Ceremony ones Anna suggested, but, for fun, and because you said your wedding is "casual:"

    These would make a bold statement!

    This is a cute print, too:

    Or you could go the vintage route:

    P.S. Have you considered a jumpsuit? I like this one:

    and this one:

    Good luck! xo.

  14. @nicole wtf are you supposed to wear under a SHEER JUMPSUIT?

  15. please do not wear those rachel comey pants. they would make everyone look like a ... tent


  17. Kudos to you for wearing pants. I wore pants to the prom (major scandal), and loved every fucking second of it. They were chiffon and beaded. For years I swore I would have them dyed and wear them to my wedding too. :)

  18. I'm not sure I love sequin pants? I think this would make you feel elegant and special, but would also be super comfy!!!


    *If money is no concern*
    (I have seen this in person, and it is gorgeous!!)

    *If that seems a bit too spendy*

    *If you don't want to sparkle*

    I think you could pair this with a really pretty delicate gold and blue drop earring with a gold bangle and some comfortable goldish sandles.


    Comfy Shoes:

    Funky Shoes:

    But seriously those pants would be beautiful I think, and that first ank is gorgous although kind of spendy!
    Send pics when you pick - so kick ass!!!

  19. Would you consider shorts? I'm more than curvy and look killer in shorts (imo).


  21. There is so much awesome here! Thank you so much. I love the look of the sequined palazzo pants (although I am no size 10, and am worried about the between the thighs bit), this is def something I need to check out & try on. I also majorly love the French Connection Thea Palazzo Pants that rodjsr suggested.

    Sheer or no, this girl does not look good in jumpsuits. I do envy girls that do, though.

    (Pretty in Pants)

  22. Admitted Offender of Size 6 sale pants revision:

    Can you wear satin?

    Gorgeous (Not satin - And just the pants)

    (Just the pants)

    All these go up to 10, 12 and 14.
    I really like the blush ones!!

  23. I like these Max Azria white textured twill pants (and they're on sale!)

    Simple silk top:

    Grey sequinned jacket:
    or this jacket

    Seeing as I'm now having a lovely time fantasy shopping, let us now purchase an amulet necklace from catbird, and fill it with some heady perfume, fuck it let's say guerlain Shalimar (

    before returning to the net-a-porter sale and snapping up either some brogues
    or a classic heel

  24. Not schlumpy, available in larger sizes, and they really say "hello, sailor".

  25. These ASOS nude palazzos go up to 14:

    And if you need actual plus type sizes. Take a gander at Talbots. No, srsly, they have really retooled their image what with the Julianne Moore ad campaign and all.

    These shiny apple green pants could be fun:

  26. I would wear these with a sexy top and gold shoes.

    But then again, my power animal is a retired Bingo-player in Florida.

  27. Shit, meant to suggest *these* trews, though I do heart the Malene Birgers

  28. OMG look what I found! And they are ONLY available in 14,16, and 18.

    No seriously, I'm REALLY proud of myself.

  29. Once you find the perfect pants, I'd love to see you in a less-casual look: how about a big ballerina bun, white tuxedo jacket, swoopy eyeliner and some killer shoes? I feel like metallics will make you feel fancy, and they're easy to match with white (should you choose to be a traditional bride in that regard) - I love the idea of a femme white suite with sheer gold blouse underneath and some matching bling.

    Please send photos - I want to see how this all shakes out!

  30. Anonymous, the shape fx pants you linked originally (which I also really like) led me to find a jumpsuit that might not be an absolute disaster on me (plus, WAY affordable):

    Also, the sequined pants Maddie found are nothing short of amazing. I have to admit, I'm feeling FAR less frustrated now.

    (Pretty in Pants)

  31. shit, now *i* want a pair of those sequined pants maddie found. wear those, Pretty in Pants!

  32. Maddie's sequin palazzo pants are UK sizing so actually much smaller in US sizing. I'm a 12 in UK but an 6 or 8 in the US.

  33. when i started reading this i was imagining some fab silver glitter (like that old crushed glass glitter) tuxedo pants with black "piping" down the sides...aka, the bride version of my grandfather's plaid tuxedo pants he wears to all his christmas parties (he might be rather infamous for his "daring" wardrobe choices). sadly, i have no idea where one finds such amazing dream pants, but it seems like everyone here has found a plethora of sparkly options.
    p.s. and top it all off with that emersonmade tux from the other day!

  34. @Ana I really like that black jumpsuit that you linked. How are you thinking about accessorizing it? All this talk about sequins has got me worried tho... black jumpsuit + sequins + jazz hands = dance recital.

    You could do wide, white leather belt, like this:

    Or what if you wore a long lace vest, or some kind of sheer whispy thing over the jumpsuit. This is kinda what I mean, though with less fabric, and more see-through

    That idea might work better with a sleeveless jumpsuit like this one:

    Finally, how do you feel about black lace pants? These look like they have some structure. They're available in a 6 or 16 only, though:

  35. @Allitron those black lace pants are genius. on my first shopping trip, a well meaning family member had me try on white lace pants that were janky as hell - these black lace pants have redeemed any ill opinion I've ever had towards lace pants. I also like the way you think with that lace vest. Thank you!

    I think if I went the way of the black jump suit, I would take up a friend's offer of making me a short cardigan/bolero in some bright jewel-tone, and then be on the look out for some silver or gold shoes & chunky jewelry.

  36. Someone should wear one of these 3.1 Philip Lim jumpsuits to their wedding:

    chic bridal white:

    sparkly blue:

  37. I found my pants! They are sadly sans-sequins, but they are a wonderful dove-grey linen that I loved. I will, of course, send you pictures of the ensemble & the day, ESB. <3 Thank you for all the inspiration!!