I have a question, and I know you will give me a straight answer, and will perhaps let me know if I am just being a cheapskate/jerk. A woman I went to high school with is getting married next month. We were friends, but I wouldn't say we were close. We didn't really do anything together, or ever hang out outside of school. We were just friendly during our school days. We are both 22 now, and I saw her randomly for lunch over Christmas (after not seeing her for maybe 2 years) and she said she would be inviting me to her wedding, and asked me to take part in the Mass. I was shocked, because 1. I never expected to be invited, and 2. Take part in the Mass!? I have since been invited to the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
The wedding is in the States, and I live in London. I am a grad student and any money I have is in the form of a student loan. I'm broke. The invites are very nice, but I let her know I couldn't make it, due to the distance, etc. Now to get to my question. What do I do about a gift? Am I supposed to send this person a gift for the shower and the wedding? I've looked at her registry, and it is filled with things I can't even afford for myself. I don't even own a chair right now, I just have a mattress and a tray that doubles as a place to eat and use my laptop. Anyways, am I really supposed to send a gift for these things? I feel like an asshole for making such a fuss, but I am still not quite sure why I was invited. What should I do?
Thanks for what I know will be some honest words!
a) The bride knew you would never make it to the shower or the wedding and she only invited you to try and finagle a few extra gifts.
b) She was putting together the guest list and suddenly realized she doesn't have a lot of friends.
Either way, you don't owe her anything. Send a CARD, for fuck's sake.
Merethe Hopland by Billy Kidd via n &n