My fiancé and I have been engaged since last December and we are getting married next June. I can't wait to marry him. He is my best friend and just basically all around wonderful.
I have been reading various wedding blogs since before we were engaged. I love the idea of an awesome DIY wedding. So, soon after he proposed we found an awesome barn and started developing our vision for the wedding. We've also secured most of the major vendors, i.e. photographer, food, dj.
My problem is that for the past few weeks I've been re-thinking all of our plans. I love the idea of our wedding, but the cost has quickly started to add up. I know I should be better about sticking to a budget, but I'm the type of person who, once I have an idea, I want to do everything I can to execute that idea. So, I'm not the best at making cuts. Also, the planning is intense. Nothing is included with the venue or the caterers we have chosen so I have to plan for everything. Down to things like bringing salt and pepper. My fiancé and I both work crazy hours and so, even though we have a ton of time still, I'm worried about my ability to do this. Also, most of the wedding is going to be outside, including the ceremony and dance floor. And so, I'm paranoid it's going to rain. Which I know I should have thought about before I picked the venue, but again, I tend to let the vision overwhelm the practicality of things.
Finally, this brings me to my point. I'm not even sure I want to do this anymore. All that I really want is to marry my fiancé. I'm not sure if I want to spend the next year saving every penny we possibly can so that 170 people (70 of whom are the obligatory invites) can eat green salad and dance on a soggy lawn. I feel like our money would be better spent on an intimate ceremony followed by a less crazy/ involved bash (maybe something in a restaurant?) with those people we really want to celebrate with, and then going on a kick ass honeymoon.
I think if it were up to me, I'd say screw it all and cancel everything. However, my fiancé is reluctant to take such drastic measures. He doesn't disagree with my feelings that it's insane for us to spend such ridic amounts of money on one night when all we want is to be married. But, I also think he likes the idea of a giant shindig with everyone we've ever met present, because he feels like we should celebrate to the fullest extent.
So, my question: am I crazy for wanting to cancel the venue, food, etc. and try to totally scale this thing back? Am I just having a momentary freak out? (This did begin after seeing the proposal from the caterer.)
Any advice is much appreciated!
Fuck the obligatory invites. Cross them off of the list right now.
I've heard a lot of brides express regrets about not shelling out the money for a kick-ass photographer, or not splurging on the shoes, but never once have I heard anyone say, "I wish we had a BIGGER WEDDING."
Defaced image from Margaret Howell via Kylea Borges