Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My bridesmaids want to copy my HAIR

Dear ESB,

Ok, long time reader.. First time writer. I'm getting married in 11 days and I need your brutally honest advice. Seriously, hit me with the realness.

Here's the situation. 

I live on the west coast but getting married on the east coast so planning and going to appointments has been challenging for me. The last time I was home I had a disastrous hair trial and after 2 hours the lady finally did my hair the way I had originally asked (she kept telling me she knew what I really wanted and wouldn't do what I asked). Anyway, I showed some of my bridesmaids my hair pictures and now they are saying they want their hair done the SAME way.

Now, I have remained calm during this planning process and I've gone out of my way to make sure the BM's feel beautiful on the wedding day.. I've let them pick their dresses and shoes but this is one thing I just feel strongly about.

Do I pull the bridezilla card and forbid them from my hair style? Or do I just fucking get over it?

I'm not getting home in time to do another hair trial for myself (nor do i feel like spending the money to do so) so I need to figure out what I'm gonna do.


Sent from my iPhone


Take it as a compliment. You picked a great hairdo.

Now tell em: "NO WAY. IT'S MINE."

Photo by Amy Gwatkin of Katie Shillingford in her Stephen Jones veil (via littlewinterbride). You really have to go and look at photos of the dress.


  1. Cute, hairzilla! Just like a radio show caller intro. <3

    I think you have the right to get dibs on your hair do. Just break it to them nicely. Or offer complementary styles to your "BRIDE" style.

  2. ha! i think it's kind of weird that they would ask. unless your hairstyle is super standard, like "down", which would mean everyone else has to wear theirs up.

    you are totally entitled to not have hair clones stand up with you at your wedding.

  3. I would tell them lol, no, do something different. IDK maybe I'm too selfless of a bridesmaid all the time, or friend, or whatever, but I always think maybe it's okay for the bride to want to look different than everyone else, even when it comes to small things like hair.

    But also, even if a few of them go around you and still do your hair style, I guarantee that everyone who notices (which wont be that many b/c seriously, no one pays attention to bridesmaids) will lol at them and say, "Why the fuck did you copy the bride's hair. It's /her/ day." It's like the people who wear white and aren't the bride.

    ps BM always makes me tnink of bowel movement and whenever anyone uses it I lol. Why yes, I'm 9.

  4. @Rachel ALL BRIDESMAIDS MUST TEASE THEIR HAIR INTO ENORMOUS BOUFFANTS. Also: "I'm going with 'natural' makeup, so you guys have to wear fake lashes, bright red lipstick, etc."

  5. @Anon re: BM. me too. every time :P

  6. what the hell is wrong with your bridesmaids that they even think they should have the same hair as the bride.

  7. I say that you require them to shave their heads. That'll teach 'em.

    Seriously? Tell them no. If you're worried they're going to bogart your style, ask them to wear their styles to the rehearsal dinner for you to thumbs-up.

  8. That photo is so ominous. The dress, while fascinating, is very morticia, and the veil knot? My god, I feel like I'm being choked by it through the internet.

  9. where do people find these bridesmaids? mine said "how do you want us to do our hair?". easy.

  10. i'm with lovelove. who are these chicks ?

  11. @Anon 3:34 hey now, some of us DO pay attention to the bridesmaids.
    Writer-inner, tell them to find their own hair.

  12. @ESB - I'm with you. Seriously. Bouffants ALL THE WAY. Check out the beehives on these BMs (eew, I said BMs). Here's a how-to. Using this tutorial, the girls can do it themselves. Don't pay for those b*tches to have their hair done. xo.

  13. I'm with Rob (in that I agree with him, not that I'm *with* him) - people do notice the bridesmaids.

    Can't the bridesmaids have simpler styles which complement the bride? When I was bridesmaid for my sister last month we all had our hair 'up' but the bride's was more complex. (My little sister did all our hair btw, it was fab. I did the flowers)

  14. @ Anon 3:34. You beat me to the BM. Insta giggles.

    And, no. It's your hair. You aren't sharing.