Friday, August 12, 2011

F*ck flowers?

Dear ESB,

My wedding is in one week. There will be no flowers in attendance. None. No bouquet. Will I regret this??? Is this my one chance to have one hand occupied with a bunch of flowers all day and I'm missing it?

I mean, I like flowers and all and there is still time for me to throw something together.

I need to opinions from people who have done this whole wedding thing before, you know?

Thank you.


I am not a flower person especially, but I REALLY REALLY loved my bouquet.

It was super fun to carry around (and it gave me something to do with my hands during the ceremony).

Polaroid by Jen Altman


  1. my husband and i eloped, and i got a bouquet. i loved it. i carried it around all day !

  2. yes, i would get a bouquet for you and a boutineer or bouquet for your partner.

  3. Interesting...I was not going to have a bouquet and everyone has been trying to talk me out of it. I am walking down the aisle myself and feel weird about carrying one. This may have changed my mind though!


  4. I like flowers but we had none at our wedding. It wasn't a priority during planning and I didn't miss them one bit. I liked having my hands free during the ceremony and photos....

  5. I wore a corsage and so did all my brideswomen. I loved not having to carry something around all day.

    I say you won't regret it.

  6. I should also add that several guests didn't even notice(!). As in, after the wedding, when I mentioned the lack of flowers, they mentioned thinking that I had a bouquet...

  7. I hate boutonnieres. But I am doing a bouquet. If you think you might feel nervous/awkward (who doesn't?), you might like having something to hold in your hands.

  8. I am all for having something to fidget with during and really want a cute handbag in place of a bouquet.

  9. it's easier to have one and stash it somewhere if you decide you're not into it than to go without one and end up missing it on the day itself, i think; perhaps you could have an inexpensive one on hand to cover your bases. i'll take it if you don't want it.

  10. I'm not a flower person either. I loathed the idea of spending a fortune on something that was just going to get chucked at the end of the night. But, I loved my bouquet. In fact, I am ashamed to admit that I squealed when I saw it for the first time.

    And, a week is definitely not too late! Our friend's daughter volunteered to do our flowers, and then WENT CAMPING the weekend of our wedding. We found out a week before. I asked another crafty friend (who was invited to the wedding so she wouldn't go fucking camping on a whim), we went to the farmer's market together, picked out a few types of flowers and we were done.

    This bouquet on the left was my inspiration.

    Dahlias are cheap, come in tons of colors, last through the day, and are in season. 3 big bloomers, a few buds, and some greenery and you've got a bouquet.

    Also, Frolic has some great inspiration, and a few how-tos.

    Or, honestly, buy a bunch of lavender and tie it with some ribbon.

  11. I loved my bouquet, but I only got my hands on it about two seconds before we started taking pictures, and I realized after looking at the photos that I didn't really know how to hold it. (Who knew it was even possible to hold it weirdly??) It was nice to have while I was walking down the aisle, but it was awkward to keep track of later. I hadn't really thought about where I would put it/what I wanted to do with it. I liked having a bouquet (and I happen to think mine was absolutely gorgeous), but I think I wouldn't have really missed it if I opted to go without. Don't kill yourself trying to round up a bouquet with a week till your wedding.

  12. I went to the grocery store across the street from my apartment the day before the wedding and purchased my favorite flowers (lisianthus, roses, and dahlias) and made a simple but beautiful hand-tied bouquet. I avoided all the fuss of meeting with a florist and talking about "my colors" or "theme", but still had a beautiful bouquet to enjoy. I put some rosemary in it too, which was nice. Rosemary symbolizes friendship and remembrance, and its scent had a soothing effect on my nerves. My bouquet was my favorite part of my outfit - mostly because I hate dressing up but fucking love flowers. Like Lauren said, you could get something inexpensive and stash it somewhere if you decide you don't like carrying it around.

    p.s. I did not want to embarrass the single ladies by making them group together and fight over my flowers, so I decided to casually toss the bouquet at the guests as we made our exit at the end of the reception. I ended up chucking it overhand like a baseball and scaring people. It was awkward. If you do have a bouquet, don't do that.

  13. @BL your p.s. is pretty hilarious.

  14. I loved my bouquet....but I'm a flower lover and grow roses, peonies and poppies and all different kinds in my yard. The flowers at our wedding were all from family and friends' gardens, so it was really meaningful and everyone loved contributing them. But, if it's not important to you, I say skip it.

  15. We did our own reception flowers, but for some reason thought that bouquets were too important/hard to do on our own, so we paid a florist $$$ for bouquets for me and my bridesmaids.

    I think I held that thing in my hand for 10 minutes tops that day. It was in the way. We forgot it for first look/pictures, I carried it down the aisle and promptly shoved it at my sister to hold once I was up there so I could hold hands w my husband, barely remembered to grab it on our way back down the aisle, and then misplaced it.

    Go with yout gut. Maybe grab a bouquet from a grocery store in case you change your mind, but if you aren't daydreaming about what your bouquet will look like you probably won't miss it.

  16. If you're unsure about what to do with the bouquet after the ceremony, how about leaving an empty vase on the desert table or by the guestbook, or better yet-- right in front of your seat at the table? Or if you don't have tables..... anywhere convenient really. At your reception you can just deposit your bouquet in the empty vase, and it will beautify whatever is nearby. You get a flower arrangement for free that way.

    Also if you're not into the bouquet toss no big deal if your bouquet has already taken up residence in a vase somewhere.

  17. what lauren said - better to just put something together and set it down than to with you had one all day.

    For what it's worth, I loved my bouquet. The first time I saw it was when the coordinator handed it to me on my way to the aisle and that was the moment for me when shit got real.

  18. The best part of my bouquet were the pictures of my Dude of Honor holding it during the ceremony. He took his duty very seriously. We forgot to use the flowers during our pictures and it was just another thing cluttering up the table while we ate dinner. And I hate the bouquet and garter toss tradition so we didn't do it.

    I say, if you're going to have one, don't waste a lot of money on it.

  19. We didn't have a single flower at our ceremony or reception either but I did make my own bouquet...super easy and can be cheap. I totally don't regret the decision one bit. I liked the slight bit of color they added to the photos (I just did pale pink peonies): . The one advantage I can think of is for family photos and photos of the two of you: you'll be the one person who has something to do with your hands...otherwise dead hands can make a photo awkward. Do it!

  20. I LOVE flowers but didn't carry a bouquet and I can assure you that at no point during (or after) the crazy/awesome/overwhelming experience of getting married did I think to my self "what would really make this better is some flowers in my hand."

  21. I carried a bouquet down the aisle. I then handed it to my sister to hold during the ceremony, so I could hold hands with my groom. (see here... and here, double-fisting the bouquets!)

    To be honest, I neglected my bouquet for the rest of the day, opting to hold a plate of food/cake and a glass of champagne instead of flowers. I didn't do a bouquet toss. I kept my bouquet. It's been dried/preserved.

    If you're on the fence, go to the farmer's market, day-of, and grab whatever looks bright and makes you happy. xo.

  22. I think my husband was a little jealous that I had the bouquet and he didn't, as it gave me something to do with my hands.

    But really I found it most helpful for the pictures.

  23. I loved my bouquet. it was gorgeous...and most importantly it gave me something to hold on the way down the aisle. I ditched it pretty soon into the ceremony in lieu of holding my hubby's hand. It looked nice in photos...but most gave me something to nervously cling to while walking down the aisle...aside from my dad.

    But...on the other side....I didn't touch it for the rest of the night. aside from pictures. I didn't toss it and i neglected to save it at the end of the does block the view of your dress when you're walking down the aisle (especially if youre one of those girls that carries it right at boob height...hold it LOW!)....

  24. I don't think you can go wrong either way. I'm not sure you'll regret it if you don't have a bouquet; however, I have to add to the pros of having one because I loved mine.

    I really liked having something to hold onto while walking down the aisle (especially since both of my parents walked me down, and I don't think I would have known what to do with my hands otherwise). I also love the color that it added to our pictures--it photographed beautifully.

    If you do decide to have one, hold it low, as T-Bone advised. Luckily, our photographer kept reminding me to lower mine, because it really looks so much better that way.

  25. along the lines of what T-Bone said, I got some excellent advice before my wedding on how to hold my bouquet: pubes, not boobs!!

    makes your pictures prettier, doesn't hide your dress and will have you laughing your way down the aisle

  26. What Erica said. Also I was too busy holding my husband's hands to miss having flowers.

  27. What Nikki said! Drives me crazy when brides hold it too high. I held mine low and it felt weird. Looking in the photos, it was I still held it little high.

    I vote for a bouquet, a pop of color and no floppy hands... but you need flowers all over the place.

    Have fun!

  28. @Nikki Every lady needs to hear that!

  29. bah, it always amazes me when people freak out and spend so much coin on perishable flowers. Put that money in people's mouths instead! I went to the market the day before and got what was in season (sweet pea and peonies) and made a few arrangements and a small bouquet - minimal money and effort but the sight of sweet peas still make me swoon.

  30. Okay.
    1. Something to do with my hands.
    2. Flower smell will minimize sweaty smell.
    3. Pubes not boobs.


    I have been convinced. I'll see what I can round up in the way of a bouquet.

    Thanks. You guys are the best.

  31. I know I'm in the minority here, and it looks like you've already made your decision, but I say go without! You hold your dad's arm (or whoever is walking you down the aisle)on the way down, and your husband's arm on the way back up. no need to worry about restless hands!

    I saw a beautiful wedding on a blog (sorry I can't remember which one) with a bride and no bouquet and she looked gorgeous and there were no awkward hands in photos. She totally owned it.

    just because it's tradition to have a bouquet doesn't mean you have to have one. And like someone who didn't have one said above, people didn't even notice and even imagined one in!

  32. I was vehemently anti flowers - our whole wedding (ceremony and afternoon tea reception) was held in an art deco theatre which needed no extra decoration whatsover. But the Mums love flowers. Wanted flowers. Insisted on flowers. Obsessed about flowers.

    I didn't want to spend money nor have them spend THEIR money... but their mutual flower obsession was hard to ignore. So our compromise was buying 10 large glass vases from IKEA (nice simple design and only $6 each) and 10 large bunches of whatever was "nice, in season and not frou-frou" (my specific instructions) from the flower market (note: NOT florist) - which in our case ended up being lovely white dahlias with lots of greenery - nice 'casual' flowers which didn't over-clutter the very decorative venue, but were a nice touch next to the cake table, in the ladies room, on the bar etc. At the end of the day, we gave the vases + flowers to the Mums and their lovely friends who had all helped make cakes for the wedding.

    As for bouquets/posies/ boutonniere, I again relented, but made them myself, which ended up being THE most fun part of wedding prep! Bought cheap roses from the flower market, stole swathes of rosemary from a giant bush in the local supermarket carpark (that made for a great story), and got some ribbon. Released my inner crafty person. They really were not hard (I wasn't doing flower-torturing, just making simple posies) and I admit they gave us all something to do with our hands and also added great colour to the photos.

    Eff the bouquet toss. Having HANDMADE my bouquet there was no way I was throwing it away!! It's dried and hanging in our kitchen.

  33. Some assclown gave me an 18k quote on flowers. After that, I quickly rescaled my idea, then took a 180 turn and said, fuck it.
    Flowers die, i don't think you'd regret not having them on tables or as a focus.
    It would be regrettable not to have a bouquet tho.
    I agree w ESB fidgety hands aren't a good look.

  34. I was just in a wedding where none of the attendants had bouquets, and none of us knew what to do with our hands - which is very clear in the photos. If not flowers, have (and give) SOMEthing to hold on to!!

  35. Yes, bouquets are much more important than we know. FLOWER ESSENCES

  36. My caterer/decorator/florist company was horrified that I didn't plan to carry a bouquet. Oh, well. We had no flowers & it was fine. I held hands with my parents when I walked down the aisle. I held hands with my groom while we said our vows. My hands were free to hug the people who did readings. It was great.