Monday, August 22, 2011

HAIR!


Dear ESB,

I have long, thick, heavy hair. And by long, I mean like I have to ensure it doesn't fall in the loo when I take a wee.

I usually wear it down, or piled high in a messy rat's nest bun on the top of my head, held together by three, yes, three elastics.

Problem is, I want to look somewhat less like a hobo, and more like a sexy biatch for my wedding.

I went for a hair trial (ugh) on the weekend, and got them to do something like this. Looked great... for about an hour, then it lost all its volume with the weight of my hair, and turned into a saggy mess that looked worse than my usual tangles. Even with the 6 million pins the hair dresser used.

Any suggestions on a badass sexy hairstyle that will hold up my heavy hair? I also have a killer low backed dress, and didn't really wanna cover it up by having my hair down. Or should I just suck it up, and chop a foot or so off my locks?


xox,
Cousin It

*****

CHOP IT ALREADY. Jesus.

Image by Riitta Ikonen

61 comments:

  1. why would you have hair that long? WHY?

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  2. Gonna have to agree with the ESB on this one (and so glad she said it). Chop it!

    Get a foot lopped off and get a great healthy looking do that will wow. Your hair will still be long and full and beautiful - just not in the loo

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  3. I have hair that doesn't keep it's volume (although not as long) and a friend did it on the big day. We used a shit ton and teasing, hairspray, and a couple sponges. And it worked. Maybe find someone who's more capable and creative before you give up.

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  4. What a completely useless and stupid answer from ESB and the first commenter here. How is that helpful at all?! I would recommend (as someone who also has very long hair) trying to find another hairdresser and have a another trial in a different style. I have had my hair done by hairdressers in up do's to be a bridesmaid numerous times so i know its possible. One of the styles that held particularly well was curls piled up over. I know this is a bit of a rubbish description, i will try to find a picture to post which is similar. My hair still looked great late on and actually was still in the style the next day.
    A hairdresser with more knowledge and experience with longer hair will be able to helo more. And perhaps you could consider some sort of style including braids of some sort, such as french braids on the side as this will hold a lot of the hair and minimise the difficulty in pinning the rest up. I hope this makes some sort of sense. Like I said I will have a google for pictures if I can and try to comment again. Hope I have been of more use than the original answer!

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  5. Cut it and donate what you chop off to Locks of Love. Why do you want to keep hair that you say makes you look like a hobo?

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  6. How about a long thick high braid? That might look regal.

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  7. That photo will be visiting me in my dreams tonight.

    ::shudder::

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  8. i'm with kerry. the hair problem can be fixed with a new stylist or a significant chop off - go pixie, i bet it will be AMAZINGly different.

    but the imprint that photo is having on my psyche is like...really fucked up.

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  9. I agree with esb - cut it, dude. doesn't sound like you're that enamored with it as it is anyway

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  10. Chop off your hair. You'll instantly lose weight, take stress off your back, have a healthier mane, and look far more amazing. Donate it to charity. And you can keep it long-ish and still get rid of some serious length.

    The moral of the story is cut. it. OFF.

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  11. chopping off your hair before your wedding is the craziest shit i've ever heard. what if you don't like it? i do think you should cut it or trim it but not anything more than half way through your back. i agree with others here who recommend finding a new stylist.

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  12. Another thought (and one I've been playing with) is having your hair up for the ceremony and doing a softer do for the reception...just a thought.

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  13. I would cut it for sure - if it's that long, cutting off a good bit of it will still be the same hair style - just with more volume because of the lack of weight.

    I would NOT cut it into a different hair style (leave it long). If you still want more of it out of your way, I agree with the others that a messy braid would be nice. Don't stick/spray a bunch of crap in your hair. Ugh.

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  14. I was going to mention the side briad as well, think that would be gorgoues with long hair and a low back dress. I like the one mentioned above but also like these for a looser look.

    http://www.fashionising.com/trends/b--side-braid-side-plait-hairstyle-974.html

    http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.beautyriot.com/photos/leona-lewis-long-braids-and-twists-funky.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.beautyriot.com/celebrities/leona-lewis/photo-leona-lewis-long-funky-hairstyle-braids-twists-pid861&usg=__0V2s9ZVbjZEPuuonIYMa7gJLuso=&h=544&w=400&sz=53&hl=en&start=19&zoom=1&tbnid=J_e8raSPnjeg4M:&tbnh=133&tbnw=98&ei=H6NSTpPHMuyemQW3iMD7Bg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dlong%2Bhair%2Bside%2Bbraid%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1

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  15. i agree with the other ladies who suggested cutting off a few inches. it will give you healthier, more volumous hair. (and you can decrease your bathroom stress!)

    just make sure to go to a good salon where you know you'll walk out with a cut that still looks like you... since your wedding's coming up, you definitely don't want to change your style too much because you might hate it. good luck!

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  16. Style 101 is embrace what you have. It sounds to me like you're trying to make your hair something it isn't for your big day. That leaves you with two choices: CHOP and get the 'do you're dreaming of, or embrace it and keep it long. I especially like the side braid idea.

    Personally, I would get a healthy trim that would allow weeing to be trouble free then do something with a little height

    (maybe not SO much height)

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  17. Also some good inspiration.

    Or, just, you know, google BIG FAT SIDE BRAIDS.

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  18. it sounds like you know it's time to cut it, which probably sounds scary, but you can trim the shit out of it and still have reasonably long hair. and it'll look so healthy you won't say "rat's nest" ever again!

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  19. Definitely get some length cut off. Your hair will be so much healthier and you will feel lighter!!!!

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  20. am i the only one who wants to see pictures of this craziness?

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  21. If you don't want to have rat's nest hobo hair for your wedding, then cut it down to a reasonable length, like mid-back. Hair much longer than that flatters no one.

    Cut it!!!!!!!!!! It will look waaaay better.

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  22. Can anyone recommend a good site for wedding hair recommendations? I am having trouble finding anyone with hair like mine (slightly past chin-length) in the wedding hairdo compendiums.

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  23. I think the whole point of immensely long hair is that it doesn't need any help to be gorgeous. So assuming your hair is healthy and you've worked hard to grow it that long, I say ignore the crazies who say to cut it, and instead, embrace the fact that your hair is long, long, long. This would look like not trying to force it into an updo that's going to need it's own skeletal structure to stay put. If this was me, this is what I would do. Get it looking really healthy and glossy, with some beautiful sun highlights through it, braid it into one of those braids like a rope that medieval heroines had, and wind it all around my head. Veils? They're for girls who didn't have the stamina to get hair this amazing.

    Like, my sister has copper-red hair down most of her back? Her wedding hair is going to be KILLER. If you don't have hair like everybody else's, why try to have wedding hair like everybody else's? Flaunt it!

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  24. Don't chop it all off, but do get a trim, and if you feel comfortable, add in some subtle layers. This will reduce the weight of your hair without taking away too much from the visual length. Plus, it'll be easier to care for.

    Then, I think a braided style will be the best guarantee for your hair, if you definitely want an up-do. Other than that, I agree that finding a stylist who has more experience with extra long hair would be good to do.

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  25. i agree with Jane. why do you want that boring, uber-sculpted prom do ? YAWN. i think a bitchin braid that *could* get pinned up for the ceremony is the answer. that is, if your hair is healthy.

    HOWEVER, if you've got long hair because you haven't cut it since 3rd grade, gross. get 6 inches cut off and get some layers up in there. that oughta help a little bit.

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  26. CHOP IT OFF! And donate it to Panteen's charity (not Locks for Love; they are shady). You're hair will still be long, but you're low-back dress will show and you can have the hair style you're craving.

    Bonus: no pee in your hair on your wedding day!

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  27. I'm all about long hair, but I question its health if there's (possibly) pee on the ends and the author compares it to a rat's nest.

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  28. What's with the haters lately? Bitchy comments at ESB cause you don't like her response? I thought we came here for the curt, no-nonsense talk. At least this time the hater wasn't a total p$#%y and gave a name instead of Anonymous.

    I would cut the hair, but that's my personal germ freakout over very long hair. I just see hair like that and think 'lice.'(shudder)...and also because you called yourself 'Cousin It.' Really? That screams 'time to cut the hair,' but if you love your long ass locks, then the braid sounds like a good option.

    And yes, like 17 beats, I want to see a picture.

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  29. Chop it - just to the point of healthy and freeflowing, not weigh-you-down-in-a-river. And send ESB before and after pics.

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. here we go, an actually working link

    Yes? Anyone?

    just kidding don't do that.

    Srsly.

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  32. ESB
    This has nothing to do with this post but I read you twitter and don't tweet so tell you friend that Freemans (LES) has a nice back rooms for private parties. The october weddinger will love it if they are not vegan...

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  33. There long, and there is TOO long. And IMHO, long is always more beautiful than short- JUST am opinion but don't want to seem like a long hair hater. Bellybutton length can be surfer girl beautiful, ass grazing is just kind of gross. Get 8 inches off. You'll feel better and people will stop giving you "does her hair wipe her ass?" looks.

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  34. I really, really want to see before and afters of this.

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  35. How about using a snod? Get one that will show off your shiny, healthy hair but also let you show off your dress (or your back if dress is low cut in the back.

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  36. It's a fine line between mermaid and sideshow. Stay north of your hips, and chop the rest - the ends probably look scraggly anyway (especially if there's some toilet dangling going on).

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  37. The side braid has been echoed a bunch already, but my first thought was this gorgeous Spanish lady's braid who clearly has waist-length hair like you (sorry, don't know how to link):

    http://www.oncewed.com/33479/wedding-blog/real-weddings/spain/

    Clearly pinning up all that weight isn't an option.

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  38. Cut it. Not all off, just enough so that peeing on it isn't a possibility without some serious contortion. It really doesn't sound like you're loving your hair atm anyway.

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  39. ...let me put the record straight here. I do NOT pee on my hair, obv. It's just LONG. It is healthy, shiny, always trimmed, not full of split ends. I do not look like I should be on "18 kids and counting". It is big, voluminous, and heavy. When I stand up lands at my waist, sitting down its a bit longer.

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  40. Cousin It, I'm glad you commented back to put the record straight as I was just going to do the same thing. My hair is also healthy and lovely and actually longer than my waist and I think some commenters here have some mistaken preconceptions, some of which are downright ridiculous! Go for another hairstyle option. Something will suit you perfectly!

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  41. Hey, I wasn't trying to hate with the mermaid/ sideshow bit- if it's waist length I am sure it's great, but you will definitely need a side ponytail, a braid-style, or a bun. Low side ponytail!!!!

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  42. No way. There's a girl at work with "healthy" hair that long, and it's just gross. You can cut 12 inches off, still go with all the pretty 'do suggestions here, and stop being Cousin It/a hobo. Ew, seriously.

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  43. Not all long hair is the same. as im sure you see other women with less than healthy short hair. these rude people need to consider what they're saying a bit more. Way to pressure the bride into making a big decision like cutting her long hair off.

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  44. I don't think you should cut your hair, especially not before your wedding. There's no reason that you should change yourself so dramatically just for a wedding - that sounds to me like a quick way to add a lot more pressure and uncertainty onto yourself just before your wedding. I also have very thick hair (but it's shorter, comes to about mid-back) and in my experience, you're not going to get a "messy" look without it falling down, the smoother styles would work better (here's some shots of my hairstyle, which might work). Then again, a braid might help you achieve that softer look you were going for. Here are some styles that might work:

    Bun

    another side braid

    another braid style, probably with a bigger bun in the back for you

    A braided bun - there are lots of variations of this style worn by celebs if you google "braided bun"

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  45. Given the weigh of your hair, your pinned-up idea might need to morph into a braid. It's a little sister-wife, but this could be beautiful if it was softened up.

    As a side note, I'm a compulsive hair putter-up/taker-down; how do people cope with not touching their hair all day when they get hitched?

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  46. "voluminous and heavy" sounds to me like it won't be fun to have piled on your head. i have thick hair and PONYTAILS give me headaches, let alone up-dos.

    but i'm still gunnin for a picture.

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  47. Hi

    Don't worry Cousin It I was about to write in and say "I'm sure she doesn't actually let her hair go in the toilet".

    Rebecca from the X Factor in the UK (last season) had some SERIOUSLY amazing braided up-dos where she looked like an egyptian goddess. They're the kind of styles you can ONLY do if you have extra long voluminous hair or hair extensions (or preferably both).

    http://images.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1109&bih=682&q=rebecca+x+factor&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=

    Also, look at pre-raphaelite art for some inspiration for why not to cut it :)

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  48. Also, don't give up. It looks like the style you gave your hair stylist to try is suitable for shorter, much much finer hair. Start with a style where you can tell the woman has similar hair to yours - similar texture, similar weight etc. Then you won't be disappointed.

    I know this from experience trying to get a sleek bob for most of my adolescence when I actually have big curly hair. Much anguish and bad photos ensued :)

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  49. Girl, if you've got amazingly gorgeous long hair something like this would be lovely!!

    (and your hair would be thick enough to pull it off!)

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/notmycat/5546506017/

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  50. obviously you don't want to cut it or you would have done it already...
    if you haven't found another updo that works already i would do a side sweep ponytail.
    Personally i think the side part is a little to casual (but cute) so i would do a diagonal part and one long side curl:
    http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_QRsRNJiP-mhXO0ejIUtMTAfRlu41l7twgqjL2FFI4DPId-cvZA


    or Grecian updo (with braids instead of volume)
    http://thebohemianbride.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/braid4.jpg

    http://gagahair.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/1304887215-36.jpg

    but definitely show off that back!


    http://www.prohaircut.com/gallery/n_KIM_KARDASHIAN_s_Elegant_Wavy_Hairstyle_25452.jpg

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  51. @Rosie YOU DID NOT JUST POST A PHOTO OF KIM KARDASHIAN UP IN HERE

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  52. For fucks sake. Kim kardashian is more relevant here than your answer ESB

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  53. Well if it's healthy & shiny and you LIKE it then leave it, obviously. And maybe stop referring to yourself as Cousin It, it doesn't do you any favours.

    I vote for braids, goddess braids.

    (and I was pretty sure that you *didn't* pee on your hair, it's just that personally, I could live without that even being a possibility. There are enough things that can go wrong in my average day, it's nice to know that peeing on my hair is unlikely to be one of them.)

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  54. i also vote for braids or a side braid.

    ALSO, then after the wedding, like all the rest here...CUT it! and DONATE! its such a nice thought.

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