Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Country Club Wedding Crisis: PLZ help shop!

First off... LOVE your blog. I have no idea how I ended up here (seeing as how I have never never been anywhere near getting married), but you are how I start every morning.

Ok. Here is the situation. My younger brother is getting married this summer to his high school sweetheart. She comes from a very, er, different background than our family. As in, she is rich. Like, really rich. Like, her-family-owns-islands rich. This is all well and good, he is happy, she is happy - great. The wedding is going to be at a shmancy country club, where I am convinced that all of the 'Chetts' and 'Bretts' of the world are going to drink Rosé and talk about their yachts.

Ok, here is where you come in. I don't know what to wear! I am not in the wedding (thank the Lord), but I do have to give a speech and I might do a reading at the ceremony.  I want to look HOT. Like 'I-know-you-rich-folk-have-been-judging-my-family-for-years-but-I-look-good-in-this-tiny-dress-and-don't-give-a-f*ck-what-you-think' hot. But not slutty, you know what I mean? I bought this dress, which I think could work with maybe wicked tall gold wedges and a geometric gold bibb necklace?? But I don't know if it is the killer dress that I have been dreaming about. I am tall - 5' 10'', average build, and would love to not spend more than $150.

Oh. Did I also mention that my ex-boyfriend will be there? Yeeeaaaah... I need to look HOT.


Might Show Up Naked?


MSUN: That is not your dress.

How bout you guys shop and then I'll post my favorite later? OR WE COULD EVEN HAVE A VOTE.

Much as I would like to devote four hours to this dilemma (no srsly, I would), I have a writing deadline that I have got to jam on.

Photo: Vasil Germanov For GIA Magazine via Touchpuppet



  2. Is it an evening wedding at a country club? Will the men be wearing tuxedos? If so, I really think the UO dress, while cute, is going to be too casual. You want to look hot, but not slutty, but you also need to look "upscale" you know? I recommend dressing up with either a fancier fabric or color choice, but keeping it youthful with the style of the dress. Here are a couple examples under $150:

  3. I think that you can never go wrong with vintage Halston. If you happen to have $1K in the bank, buy this.

    If not, then this is a decent alternative but you CAN'T wear the gold wedges with it, do you hear me?

  4. I really love this! Sweet, elegant and sexy all rolled into one:

  5. Some more:

    If you need it long:

    If you want it red:

    If you can stretch your budget a bit:

  6. If dropping a G on Halston doesn't cut it, I do think this occasion calls for more of a Pippa Middleton than Chelsea Davy (I barely understand the reference I just made).

    Don't do "funky girl at a country club." Do, "Girl who might *get* funky at the country club."

    Plus, doing "nice girl at a country club" in front of your ex is basically like putting on a french maid costume and dusting the banisters. The change from your normal garb will be all it takes, you don't need to pull out all the stops.

  7. I second rodjsr's choice! Smashing. (and can I just say that I loooove how this community comes together with suggestions!

  8. No tiered dress please!

    Here's my choices:

    For a print and strapless:

    For a solid:

    Both would look great with gold wedges!

  9. These are under your budget, both look expensive/sophisticated/sexy-but-not-slutty, both could be worn with gold shoes, though I think the first one would look better with the gold.

  10. this is sexy, but may border on trashy

    and I kind of love the playfulness of this

    but with gold HEELS not wedges. If you happen to have a ton to blow on shoes $700. these rock


  12. P.S. When in doubt, wear red.


    This is, I believe, the hottest non-slutty dress maybe ever. But it's obv. out-of-budget. I wouldn't know where to start looking for something similar unless you have time to find a dressmaker and custom-make something...

  14. Rent a dress! For $150 you can definitely rent a $2000+ gown for the weekend and no one will be the wiser... if you're in Canada or for the US.

    (I rented a Camilla and Marc dress for an event a few weeks ago and while I like to think I normally look good the amount of compliments I got from strangers has me convinced otherwise... wearing expensive things is a lovely confidence boost!)

  15. I had a similar issue of wanting to look awesome at a wedding (not the country club issue) and I went with this dress (now on sale!) which ESB has recommended before

  16. I love:

    (The sale colors are within budget! & the others are fairly close)

  17. People, please, keep to the budget! We're trying to help here, right?

  18. @Jenn i'll cut you a little slack this time in case you're new, but WE DON'T SHOP J. CREW HERE

  19. Oh and ESB, I'm still looking for shoes for the Wren dress that won't sink into the grass if you have any suggestions. Thanks.

  20. Is this too much?

  21. not sure why, but i'm really wanting sequins for this one...

  22. please to be wearing something short and silk. the silk keeps things classy; the crop will make your statement. which is, for the record, "respectfully, i'm hotter than all y'all."

    like so.
    or so.
    or so.

  23. Have you found any wicked tall gold wedges? Because I'm looking for some too!

  24. @Lauren - I don't know how you wear that racer dress, but it seks

    I found this one while perusing the All Saints catalogue.

    You can even wear it with the gold wedges.

  25. how about a silk maxi? might not scream "hot", but it's pretty tasteful, and you could definitely wear it again.

  26. another one, this time super hot, and super on sale (but a tad over-budget, sorry!)

  27. Eve though it's just black, which I usually try to avoid at weddings because so many people wear it:

    Also, totally get your hair and makeup done if you want to look extra hot. Cannot express this enough.

    this is cute too, for color:


  28. with all this "wicked" talk i'm sensing you're from massachusetts.

  29. I 2nd the Visage Racer dress @Lauren - i wonder how long it is. Also like these:

    Stay simple and classy, and if you've got the legs and ass then short and fitting will up your sexy factor.

    Attitude is everything. The friendly, confident kind. Good luck and tell us what the verdict is!

  30. again, i must ask: is this too much?

  31. @rodsjr, I LOVE that Adam dress!

  32. Shit. This is not in budget, sorry.

    It's a sale Diane von F., deep sapphire blue, silk, with sleeves. I'd wear it with tallish but not stripper-tall black shoes, simple hair and natural makeup with a subtle cats-eye. And I'd justify the expense because you won't need to drop for a jacket, and wearing a label will make you feel great and... um... you can ebay it after if you need to make the $ back?

    Orrr... Helmut Lang in-budget? ... would even work with the gold shoes.


  33. The only ones I like posted so far are (this can be dressed up w/fantastic jewelery ( --> you can rent some great piece of hardware there too) (which is kind of like the second bcbg only nicer!)

    and (the color is great, one that a lot of women avoid b/c it's pale, so you may stand out a bit more)

    Still pushing you to get your hair/makeup done, and done right too (don't be afraid of the false lashes either and a great blowout is better than an updo (you don't want to look like a bridesmaid). Manicure and pedicure are a must! I'd say try drinking only water leading up to it for better looking skin too, but I feel as if my comment is too much at this point! :[


    (ps and if you need a bit of color, pop into a tanning booth nude to avoid tan lines and potential burning. 10 mins with your face covered a couple of days before the event will have you looking naturally sun-kissed... I'll stop now.)

  34. @Anon 3:30 you just completely negated your recommendations by telling her to go in a TANNING BOOTH. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A LEATHER HANDBAG BY THE TIME YOU'RE 38??

  35. I know where you are coming from, I'm a soon to be newbie country cluber and often feel out of place. i agree urban outfitters is too casual, specially if it is going to be all prime and proper...i vote go the BACKLESS route, always sexy and classy...hard to find on the cheap side though :(

  36. I like the UO dress, but only for the rehearsal dinner. Look at Nordstrom Rack around prom season and you'll find lots of cute cocktail dresses to choose from.

  37. Outnet baby.

    I'm thinking black with fabulous accessories. - a little classy slutty? - so hot if you have the legs. - umm sparkles. - very hot - fun - chic.

    A bit too SJP?

    Hot with red accents?



    Too bright?

  38. If you want to look the part, but be hot too I would go for a longer length. Short, tight and cheap material will not translate well.

    These finds fit the budget:

    super classy & chic, sheer back:

    simular, but shorter:

    size small only available - has the same graphic feel of the dress you bought:

    random but hey, ombre is a nice touch?

  39. I agree with:
    -get your hair and makeup done
    -get a little tan
    -try to channel Pippa Middleton
    -your original choice is too casual (and I am actually from the country club set so I can say for sure)

    You're going to feel most comfortable (and hot) if your outfit is at least SIMILAR to what others are wearing. Not necessarily in price but in how formal/conservative.

    Mainly, something that fits your body and accentuates your best assets is what's going to make you stand out. Boobs? Flat stomach? Shoulders? Back? what is it

  40. What about wearing a sexy top with a mini, or a slitted floor length skirt? Black Halo Vamp Top Eileen Fisher Sequin Tank Ralph Lauren Metallic Top Hinge® Chiffon Overlay Tank Elie Tahari 'Lucinda' Aqua Crochet Mini Skirt Cut 25 Sequin Skirt Free People Mesh Half Slip

  41. Not sure this is appropriate, but I kinda love this:

  42. i agree with anna and the king. you should def check out the outnet.

    im going to recommend this again cause i just love the style and the color:
    but if the size is all wrong, check the site because they come in a bunch of other colors and fabrics for about the same price.

    also check these out:

  43. This may be fun (over budget only by $25):

    And ridiculously under-budget:

  44. Silk and patterned:


    Black one shoulder:

    Good Luck!

  45. Hi no dress suggestions just this:

    That first BCBG black maxi dress is AMAZING. I WANT IT NOW. Bloody hell.

    Also - sod trying to outdo other people and be yourself. You don't have to fit in (would you even want to?) We all know the times we feel most beautiful are when we're happy and having fun. Smile breathe dance.

    Also - I'm personally flying the flag for the pale skin I naturally own - any woman who stays tan-free is a champion of mine - think Sophie Dahl and Dita von Teese (oh yes and Marilyn Monroe whose skin was so pale it was shimmering with blue or so I heard). Beautiful. Just my 2-pennies.

  46. How about:

    Classy, yet sheer, you could still rock the gold wedges and at 5'10" your legs would look ridiculous.

  47. Also found this, if you fit in a large:

    And just a smidge over budget at $168. :)

  48. 10 mins in a tanning booth once isn't going to destroy your skin forever (that's why you should cover your face when going in them too! I've only done it twice for events :S I don't like looking pasty all the time, it was only a suggestion.

  49. @Kait I love that dress! It gets my vote.

    Manicures/Pedicures/Hair do's/False lashes/Make-overs should all be done if they make you feel good. I personally would feel anxious putting that much time into my appearance and false lashes scare the shit out of me. On the other hand, having my makeup done was one of the most luxurious things I ever did for myself.

    Tanning will make you feel like an idiot when start getting wrinkles.

    Do what makes you feel comfortable. A couple glasses of champagne might help.

  50. i second the suggestion to check out ... you can sort by budget range, dress color, dress length, etc. ... do it

  51. Dresses that might work from around my pinterest:

    fun rainbow dress (really)

    sparkles and sheer

    good luck going through all of these!

  52. Ack. The Nordstrom one really was for sale 10 minutes a go I swear. I'm sorry!

  53. I second this dress:

    Please please please do not dress the way you think "the country club set" wants you to dress. Rather, worry about whether the style is flattering to your body, whether the fabric is beautiful and whether you feel like the most amazing version of yourself in the dress.

    Also, I have seen that UO dress on at least three people on the street in the last week and they are always wearing it in the middle of the afternoon with flip flops. Unless this is a lunchtime wedding, outdoors, in the middle of nowhere, do not risk wearing a something too casual that everyone instantly knows is from Urban.

  54. Here are my picks for

    Jack and Ginger Chiffon Faux Wrap Dress $128

    Geren Ford Crinkled silk wrap dress $130

    I prefer nighttime.

  55. I need more data.

    Time of day? South or North? New money or old money? Average body type in America? Or France? Or China? These things matter people.

    But even without data, I doubt that's your dress.

  56. He he LPC = Johnny 5! (and correct - obviously!)

  57. You want something in a rich fabric, like silk.

    So this is on sale for $161, available in a variety of sizes, and would look effortlessly elegant on a tall lady:

    And if you're a medium, this one is only $106:

    If you like mini skirts, maybe this little number:

    And if you want to venture into sexy-but-not-quite-slutty territory, go with something classic but with a little surprise. This one is in extra small and small, but it gives you the idea:

  58. I'm with LPC, we need more data.

    Also with Anon 3:49 -- pick an asset. BUT ONLY PICK ONE. The best way to look super hot and not even kinda trashy is to only pick one asset and work the shit out of it, high neck/long sleeves + short skirt, low bust + full skirt, skintight everywhere (long sleeves, high neck), or my favorite: all covered up and backless. doing this also makes it impossible to not notice the asset highlighted when looking at you. think kristen wiig's legs in EverySingleThingSheWoreInBridesmaids.

    PLEASE DON'T TAN. and not just for the future you, for the current you at the country club. over tan < peaces and cream any fucking day of the week. too-tan when you're not naturally dark skinned just helps you look trashy unless you're rocking the surfer chick look, which is to be rocked at the beach, not in a country club. promise. one hundred times over. besides, pale skin makes for such pretty makeup.

    finally, the best way to look hotter than country club ever is to rock subtle rockerchickbadass details. got tats? show 'em off (but stick to the first suggestion). ear cuffs? sixteen necklaces? multiple tone metal bangles? ombre hair dye? super smokey eyes? cool bling rings? again, don't do ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. but highlight one.

    good luck!

  59. ps if you're
    1. in europe and
    2. a size small
    (ok not realistic), PLEASE PLEASE take advantage of the malene birger sale:

    fuck the rules wear black with bright colored jewelry? seriously gorg. but only available in small =(
    or this one (which is out of your range, but only by $11) i personally like the "peachy lips" (come on, the color is peachy lips!) but some people can rock that taupe color like no one's business.

    even if your not, maybe these will be suggestions for the type of dress to rock.

  60. fuck i screwed up my second link

  61. I agree with LPC, if you want to really get this right, we need more details.

  62. Perfect Occasion for the little black dress: Don't wear some obvious poorly constructed bright dress. Small black dresses can be super cheap and if it fits can look like a million dollars.

    Save the money on the dress to have a fabulous tailor make it fit perfectly.

    Like this, perhaps:

    Killer gold heels, awesome earrings... Done and you can wear it often.

    *also St. Tropez is the best tanning mousse... I think you have that in the states.

    -that bitch from Germany

  63. whiners. i shop for y'all with fewer dets ALL THE TIME.

  64. I wore a Vivienne Westwood Anglomania hangover dress to a wedding a few years ago and felt appropriate but hot so...

  65. I think this definitely calls for a vote of the best options

  66. As a rich girl who comes from a country club set, but has never really fit in, I just want to say: be wary of wanting to look HOT.

    I'm assuming that this is a dinner wedding, and if it is at a CC I imagine most women will be in slightly longer cocktail dresses or long dresses. I've never seen anyone at a country club wedding in a short short dress.

    I'm not saying you have to stick by any of their rules- but if you're on display (as such) giving a speech, and you want everyone to think "wow- who was that chick?" in a wonderful not horrified way- I would steer clear of micro-mini dresses and low cut bust lines. This is probably a conservative crowd and they won't think "sexy" they'll think "trashy", which is not what you're going for.

    Someone else said it well about highlighting ONE thing. Pick your best feature and show it off. But remember you want to be comfortable and have fun- not spend the whole night fielding surprised/shocked glares from little aunties and lecherous approaches from guys named Remington (for real- they exist).

    I don't mean to sound harsh. I just have a lifetime of being the oddball in a very uptight WASPy world, and it has taken me nearly 30 years to understand how to feel confident and sexy without covering myself in Lily Pulitzer prints.

    Anyway- that's my insight from the inside of having attended about 2000 country club weddings...zzzz....

  67. OMG. You guys are UH-mazing. Seriously. I kind of want to kiss you all on the mouth.

    More deets: it will be an outside ceremony in the late afternoon (in August), moved inside for an evening reception. It is taking place up north (close to Boston - the 'wicked' totally gave me away!), and I definitely thinkit is a 'new money' vibe (though I am not entirely sure what that means).

    You guys have given me a huge boost of confidience that I can totally kill it at this wedding! I am loving the idea of going balls out on one asset, staying pretty conservative everywhere else - aka - maybe get reeeaal leggy and try to stay pretty modest on the top?? Thoughts? (PS - now that we are best friends I can tell you that I am 5' 10", between size 8-10... more likely to show off my legs than my boobies/arms). Maybe a one of the cap sleeve numbers? I am also LOVING the backless idea.

    You guys have already done so much and are amazing and pretty and wonderful. THANKS!


  69. How about...

  70. How about BCBG on sale?

  71. Wanting to show off your legs, maybe this is too long

    BUT I think it's fantstic (and I'm not normally an anthro fan)and maybe you could have it hemmed a little shorter?

    Other than that, I second the vote on this Vero Moda AHHHHHHMAZING and that would show off your legs. It's sexy without looking obvious. Get some killer accessories and heels and you're good to go.

  72. the goal is to look SULTRY, not smutty. For the love of god, don't tan.

    Go either backless or short, not both, and do not use cleavage as your asset. It will not look like an asset in that setting.

    Being also a leggy lady at five foot ten, I would suggest going for short. While the thin girls have a nice back, and the busty girls have great cleavage, only the tall girls can really work the legs.

    Also, please, follow the suggestions and buy something in a swank fabric. Silk will feel amazing on your skin, and it will make you feel a million times better than if you wear something made of synthetic.

  73. Perhaps you can let ESB know what you decide? It's so much fun reading all these comments and I'd love to know what you end up wearing.

  74. Above all else, go with an expensive fabric that has a good cut and drape for your body.

    If you're open to renting, these would fit what you're looking for:

    Or, if you're looking to buy:

  75. I also think rent the runway is where its at
    Lela Rose- Melon Navajo Dress...drool

  76. i don't know how much coverage this gives, but it's a killer sale.

  77. ESB is right; your first option (the UO number) is not your dress.

    If it's a daytime wedding, I would go with something like this:

    If it's at night, you can glam it up a bit.

    My pick:

    Good luck! xo.

  78. sooo many posts... anyway just to add to this chaos, I personally rock the backless at any opportunity but do make sure that if you rock backless (which is my tasteful way of feeling awesomely hot) do go for demure in front and nothing too short. There is a fine line between tasteful and tacky and your brothers country club wedding (with or without the ex) is not the place to flirt with that line. But FYI the rocker vibe is always a good way to shake up the norm, but also a nice touch of vintage... not cute vintage but structured vintage is something else that will make you stand out. Good luck


    you really can't go wrong with RED :)

  80. anon at 5:46 has great advice. also second (third or fourth?) the nice fabric advice. I'd say good fabric, nice cut, and borrow the hottest/most expensive shoes you can find (catty rich girls notice shoes way more than dresses and they'll make you feel hot)

  81. @anna and the king what, did you just paste a link to EVERY SINGLE DRESS ON THE OUTNET?

  82. women of the world: embrace your true skin color. for fucks sake.

    hows about this:
    or this:

  83. I so agree with Paiiige rent a dress from the Maybe this Or get these dresses from