Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Trying not to be an asshat....

Dear ESB-

I hadn't talked with my college roommate since we graduated a couple years ago (she's rather shy, and I'm rather bad at keeping in touch). Anyways, she asked if I would be interested in attending her wedding and if I would mind if she used a drawing I drew of her plus the fiance back before they were engaged. I said of course, that I would love to be there and it'd be awesome if she used my artwork for their wedding playbill/program. I gave her my email address, and we emailed off and on for a bit. 

It's now two months later, and I haven't received my invitation. Is it inappropriate to ask the bride-to-be if the invite got lost in the mail?

I'm really trying not to be an asshat. Thanks.

- Guest To Be


Dear GTB (aka Not An Asshat),

Nope. That is not at all inappropriate.

Those monster envelopes actually do get lost in the mail -- or returned-to-sender for lack of postage, which can take weeks -- and you wouldn't want your old roomie to think you were blowing her off by not responding to the invitation.


(Image via deviantART via Mouse)


  1. I agree. I was dismayed to learn, too late, that several people never got their invites. Oh, and USPS just lost a cheque of mine too.

  2. I'd shoot her an email to ask if the invitations have gone out yet. If they have, then mention you haven't gotten yours.

  3. I agree, I think you have an easy in because she asked for your artwork...you can ask how they turned out if you're confrontation shy (like me).

  4. YES, ASK HER. i also reconnected with an old college friend about a year before my wedding and when she hadn't rsvp'd, i knew something was up. i mentioned it to a mutual friend who said she had never gotten an invitation and thought she wasn't invited. i was heartbroken and called her immediately to remedy the problem. i ended up hand-delivering a new invitation to her and sure enough, the original invitation came back to my mailbox 1 week before the wedding. so yes, they do get lost and no, you're not an asshat.

  5. A few of my invitations got lost in the mail as well and I had to send a second one out. USPS is not as reliable as I thought they would be!

  6. My sister's wedding invitation envelopes were on a metallic paper and the ink used for the addresses rubbed off from a lot of them. Maybe that happened. This is terrible grammar.

  7. haha, asshat. that always makes me laugh. but yeah, she already asked you over email, so you can totally check in with her and see what's up.

  8. She may not have even sent the invites out yet? A quick email to ask her how things are going? Did you get my artwork etc? Simples!