Friday, February 25, 2011

If I were to get married now...................

from Martha B. of Nibs

Hindsight is a tricky thing. It can make you appreciate some of the decisions you've made. But it can also make you regret the paths not taken. When I look back at our wedding day I made lots of choices...some good...some not so good.

The good ones- I kept within a tight budget which dictated a lot. Yet I can honestly say I never felt cheated. I skipped the big sitdown dinner in favor of light hors d'oeuvres and a three-tiered cake. Decorations were left to our best man who happened to be a talented graphic designer. What he did with 300 balloons was absolutely amazing! I nixed tuxes and had the guys wear navy blue suits. My satin dress and my two bridesmaids' taffeta skirts were sewn by my mother. An old high school friend took pictures. My husband and I then drove off in his vintage V.W. Beetle and spent our honeymoon in Vermont.

The not so good ones aren't really bad. I just wish I hadn't done them. One in particular stands out that has to do with my husband. When we discussed his wedding attire I suggested that he and the guys wear suits. He was more than happy with this arrangement. I also suggested he wear black shoes. My husband looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head no. He hates black shoes. Instead he planned to wear brown ones. Well...I hit the roof. I argued that they wouldn't look right for the photographs and used a number of other excuses I could think of. In the end he relinquished and wore the dreaded shoes. I cringe when I think about it now. Because, in hindsight, it really didn't matter. My advice...pick your battles carefully.

We've been married over XX years. Our wedding has faded into the background of everyday life that makes up our marriage. We've had our share of disappointments and sadness. But we've also had a lot of joy and laughter. Each anniversary together reminds me that I married my best friend.

If we were to get married now...what would I choose?

1. I got married in January between college semesters. What was I thinking? Not to mention it was bitterly cold and we had a terrible blizzard the day of the wedding. Give me a warm day in spring or summer.

2. Skip the formal invitations for handwritten ones. Or have Christine design invitations like she did for our anniversary.

3. No big wedding with half the people I don't even know. I'd plan a small, intimate wedding & reception at home with just family and close friends. I'd serve our favorite foods like my mom's 'Chicken and rice.' Instead of the usual cake I'd have something unexpected.

4. I'd wear only one ring- a vintage band with diamonds c. 1930.

5. My new dress wouldn't be white but a soft blush color accented in black. I love classic ballet flats but with a twist. I'd wear this fun headband. For the romantic in me,  nothing beats a bouquet of fresh roses.

6. Lastly, my husband and I would jump in our old V.W. Beetle and the two of us would take a honeymoon road trip to...anywhere! :)


Catch up with the rest of the series here.


  1. Honest, thoughtful, beautiful, and completely Martha. Nice one.

  2. A little unrelated....Nibs is the name of our family dog! As in 'his nibs' because he rules the roost. Totally agree on the blush dress and ballet flats...couldn't possibly be because I too will be wearing a blush dress and ballet flats for my wedding! Excellent choice if I do say so myself :)

  3. looks like i have a new blog to follow. :) this is so wonderful, martha. and thanks for enlightening me on crepe cakes, i had no idea those things existed...BE STILL MY HEART!

  4. who is this martha? i think i have a major crush on her.

  5. @Celia, you don't know Martha?? You *must* know Martha immediately, she's wonderful.

    Martha, I love both your weddings. The real and the If I Were Doing It Again.

  6. Thanks East Side Bride for letting me contribute to your series. It was a lot of fun. And thanks everyone for your nice comments. :)

    Martha B.

  7. yay martha! love this post. love this series.
    p.s. thanks for including my bouquet idea.

  8. Holy crap! I hope that this doesnt come off as bragging, but more a reflection of how much GOOD ADVICE there is out in the wedding blogosphere (esp. here on esb!). But the wedding you just described above, that you would have now, sounds exactly like what my fiance and I are planning to have! We are having it memorial day weekend, with just close family and friends, and are having kabobs and pie-instead-of-cake. My fiance gave me a vintage 1930's engagement ring. I cant tell you how good it makes me feel to read this! It makes me feel like I've done everything right, and I just cant wait to be married. Thanks Martha B.