Friday, March 30, 2012

The cat barfed on my dress


Dear ESB,

A few weeks ago I discovered that on of my cats totally puked on my wedding dress. While other's responses were, "Omigodhow?" "What the fuck?" and "Where did you bury the cat?" I wasn't thrilled, but I pretty much said, "Well, bummer," and moved on.

We pre-soaked the dress. It mostly got better, but there was still a little stain. And I wasn't sad that my dress might not be good enough for the day of, I was sad that I might have to go dress shopping again.

After it got home from the cleaners and it was back to perfect I wasn't relieved. I'm not displeased. I just don't really give a shit.

Is this normal? Is my brain broken? Is this a total waste of a concern?

I've asked some friends... I think they are afraid to give me the wrong answer so they just don't give me any answer.

*****

This is not a problem.

YOU DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM.

Photo by Christophe Kutner

27 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    was there even really a question?

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  2. i love you, letter-writer-lady.

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    1. esb, i also love your response. it made me LOL.

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  3. I'm mostly confused why she threw her friends in there? What would they be afraid to say? "It doesn't matter if you're not omg-so-excited-girlie-squeal about your dress?"

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    1. Pretty much what I needed to hear, actually.

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  4. I don't think I'd squee if a cat puked on my dress either, but I do think I'd squee if the puke stain disappeared and no one could tell. Also, move along. There isn't a problem, don't make it a problem.

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  5. Say what? I want my fifteen seconds back, letter-writer.

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  6. I was going to suggest putting a brooch on the stain, but... there wasn't a stain. Whatevers cool man.

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  7. The headline's so great it doesn't matter that this email was a bunch of nothing.

    Hey Bride: You are seriously super cool for not losing your head about the cat barf.

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  8. Letter-writer here. I am absolutely laughing at myself right now. Sorry if I wasted your time asking this question. People make a big deal about how goddamn important the dress is and I just didn't care about what happened to mine. You are right, there is no problem.

    Getting married is fucking with my brain, I think. Expectations of over the top reactions sort of resulted in me thinking that I was doing something wrong by staying sane. And then started making me crazy.

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    Replies
    1. DUDE. DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT A MIN OF 24 HOURS TO CHECK IN SO EVERYBODY CAN YELL AT YOU/MAKE FUN OF YOU/CHEER YOU ON?




      buzzkill.

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    2. I'll delete it if you want? You can still make fun and yell at me if you want.. I mean... its the Internet, right?

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  9. thank god there's a CAT BARF tag now. that'll come in handy

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  10. Aw, the cat just wanted to be part of YOUR SPECIAL DAY!

    I can only imagine what the reaction would be on other wedding blogs/on episodes of bridal gown tv shows. LOL 4ever.

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  11. Dear Amanda, you are cool and don't let the cray make you feel like you're cray for being non-cray! Ya dig?

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  12. so i think we know how the cat feels about this wedding

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  13. Man, my cat was puking all night and I got no sleep. This has improved a seriously pukey day. Thanks ESB - topical as always.

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  14. I think letter writer should take this and send to all wedding blogs she can find, and then post a list of their responses for us to laugh at.

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    Replies
    1. I would do this... is that wrong?

      -letter-writer

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  15. I had a coffee stain on my dress - no one noticed. go with it.

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  16. hahahahahahahahahahahah this is the funniest post ever!
    laid back brides are the best.

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  17. I don't get why this was a question. :/

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