I'm getting married in November. My father and stepmother didn't speak to me for six years prior to my engagement because my stepmother interpreted a look on my face as "frozen" during a conversation we had about facials. My stepmother (who has been married to my father since I was two years old) is paranoid, narcissistic, and cruel. My father is loyal to her, however, so if she decides to shut someone out of her life, my father will shut them out too. Despite numerous attempts to reach out to them, they haven't met my fiance, who I've been in a relationship with for 4 years, and they haven't met our son, who was born over a year ago.
I sent them both a wedding invitation. My father told me that my stepmother won't come to my wedding because she "doesn't expect any relationship changes." I did apologize to her (for the perceived slight), and even asked my father for advice regarding how to make things right with her so that everyone could feel comfortable at the wedding. She wasn't interested in my attempts to reconcile though and has decided to just not come to the wedding.
In a recent email, my father said that he wanted to walk me down the aisle. I want my son to walk with me during my ceremony, and not my father, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Should I set aside my feelings, and allow him the honor of walking me down the aisle? Or risk hurting him by walking instead with my son? I know traditionally the father walks with the bride, but our wedding will be anything but traditional.
This has been the most stressful part of my wedding planning so far, and I need some perspective. Thank you!
If You Walk Away, I'll Walk Away
Your dad forfeited the right to walk you down the aisle when he didn't speak to you for six years. And he hasn't even met your son? FUCK THAT.
Tell him you've got another plan.
Photo by Melissa Cowan