Okay, so here's the deal. I'm getting married next summer, and my fiance and I have just started talking about our wedding party, and who we want to be a part of it. We both decided that it would be a sweet gesture if my brother is one of his groomsmen, and I'm totally fine with that. What I'm not fine with is making my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) a bridesmaid. The problem is, ten years ago when her and my brother were married, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, so now I'm feeling like I have to make her one of mine, just on principal.
On one hand, I feel like NOT asking her to be a bridesmaid would be insulting to her (she's the type to hold a grudge), and after my wedding day I could potentially have to deal with the repercussions of that.
On the other hand, if I DO ask her to be a bridesmaid, I will have to deal with her a whole lot more than I would like (she already lives in the same city as me). The reason this is something I don't want is because she can be manipulative and controlling, and tends to make situations more complicated than they need to be. On top of that, any time she's ever helped me with anything, even when I haven't asked, she never lets me forget "how great she is." I'm worried that if I ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, she's going to abuse her position, and end up bossing me around and telling me what I SHOULD be doing at my own wedding.
I'm just feeling so torn up about the whole thing. Of course my mother thinks I should make her a bridesmaid, because she thinks that although it is my wedding day, it's only one day, and I'm going to have to deal with my sister-in-law for the rest of my life. Also, my mother likes to point out that although my sister-in-law is a complete pain-in-the-ass, she really "means well" and does try to show me she cares, in her own way. This is all fine, except this isn't just any other day, it's my wedding day, and I don't want to have to deal with her crap!
Anyway, I could really use your no B.S. advice right about now. So lay it on thick, I can take it. Thanks for any help!
-Bride with no time for B.S.
Give her a different, "very important" job that will keep her FAR AWAY FROM YOU.
Photo: Clémence Poesy by Ellen Von Unwerth