Friday, May 13, 2011

Sick of the Overdone


Dear ESB:

Since you are the maven of all things cool and not overly done here's a conundrum for you. How do we go about this whole guest book thing at our wedding?

I think traditional guest books are just not interesting, but feel like the signed mat around a photo of the bride and groom is equally overdone. We're not really a "wish tree" kind of couple either...

Any new and funky ideas?

Sincerely,
Sick of the Overdone


*****

Fuck the guest book.

(Photo by Henrik Adamsen via Rackk and Ruin + whitezine)

40 comments:

  1. you could sink your cake topper into an aquarium and have each guest bring you a guppy instead of signing a book. then you'd have a lively memento, and you'd know how your loved ones really feel about you based on the order in which the guppies eat each other.

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  2. I agree, forget the guest book. We had the signed photo mat and it hasn't seen the light of day since our one month anniversary. Totally unnecessary. If you're worried about remembering who was there you will be able to look back at the photos. Just tell your photographer to make sure and take plenty of shots of the guests having a good time and you're set.

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  3. How about covering the tables with paper and putting out crayons, like at Macaroni Grill? (Yeah, maybe I should stick with parenting blogs.)

    Seriously, though: the problem with guest books is that people have to seek them out, or be accosted by the unfortunate cousin assigned to cajoling people to sign. If you put cards at the tables, with nice writing instruments, you might get more thoughtful notes from your guests because they can write them when they have an idle moment at the table.

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  4. We did the photo album of our engagement photos and let people sign around the pictures. We also had a family tree poster and people put their green thumbprints as the leaves and signed them. I haven't framed it yet but I definitely plan to.

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  5. What decafmom said. Rather than one big guest book, we got a couple of copies of the book that contained one of our ceremony readings. People passed them around from table to table, and that worked really well - plus they could write a message on their favorite page or draw funny pictures or whatever. I still like to go back to those books every once in a while.

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  6. I hate traditional guest books, never understood them. BUT. what we did was get large size index cards and put them at each place setting, with a little note printed on them saying basically "please write us a note or draw us a picture, as a memento of your presence here today." we had about half a dozen crayons tied up in bakers twine for each table, and then a handful of pens we embellished with paper flowers, that were in a vase on each table. We put a recipe box on the gift table and asked everyone to return their card to that box.

    we got a card back from almost every single guest, and they were amazing. we haven't actually DONE anything with them yet, but I'm planning to put them in a photo album. we got tons of little stories and messages and drawings, and even a recipe. turned out to be one of my favorite things that came out of our wedding.

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  7. As an advocate for the guest book, in any form, I'd suggest doing something that's not traditional, not too cutesy but allows you to remember all the people who joined you on your wedding day. We used a fingerprint tree as a way to record who came to our wedding and it turned out great. I think people enjoyed something a little different and we love seeing it hanging on our wall. It's cheap, relatively, and easy. If you buy the PDF you can get it printed at any local print store for a reasonable price. I know I sound like I work for the people that make them, but I swear I don't, it just worked out well for us. Here's a link to the shop we bought ours from: http://www.etsy.com/listing/62383879/printable-wedding-tree-pdf

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  8. We created an "advice for the newlyweds" mad libs sheet and are putting one at every place setting. After the wedding I'm going to bind them.

    This was the fiance's suggestion because he grew up doing mad libs with him fam on long road trips.

    But I agree with ESB, if it didn't mean something to the boy we wouldn't be doing a guest book.

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  9. I never understood the traditional guest book because why the hell would I care about reading a bunch of two line, generic messages of "congratulations!"

    We bought a fuji instax camera, raided our friends' Halloween costume leftovers, and set up a DIY photobooth/guestbook combo with tape, large index cards, and pens. The pictures and messages were AMAZING. Even grandparents got into the photo silliness and insanity, which gave them more to gush about in the personal messages.

    I know people are so over the photobooth thing, but it's popular for a reason. The reason being awesomeness. Also, your guests probably haven't seen it before, so feel free to get over the "overdone" factor.

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  10. i was ready to say "fuck the guest book", too, but here is what happened:

    we decided to have a photobooth at our wedding, and when the photo strips popped out, the photobooth representative took one copy, pasted it in a scrapbook, and people could sign next to their photo. it turned out wonderfully... mostly due to the graphic nature of our drunk wedding guests trying to pile 40 people up in that thing.

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  11. Magnetic poetry board
    You can get rude ones too!

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  12. I don't like the idea of a traditional guest book either. What I did for my sister's wedding was purchased a book by one of their favorite artists (Charlie Harper) and had people sign anywhere in the book they liked. That way, the couple gets to read notes from people in a book they will actually want to look at again and again over time. If the couple are big into cooking it could be a great cookbook, etc.

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  13. our photographers made us a photo album of our engagement photos that was badass.

    but if you want the people to do something, just not sign a guestbook, TRY THIS ALTERNATIVE.

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  14. at our wedding I also didn't want a traditional guest book...cuz what do i need with everyone's signatures...seriously.

    so we got a cool box, set out some nice paper and pens and a sign that asked people just to write us a note. As the night went on people started leaving hilarious drunken notes and some of the comments are incredibly sweet. I loved reading them the day after the wedding and we've saved them to go back over years from now.

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  15. Get a Wedding Certificate instead!
    Waaaaaay cooler - totally customizeable, and you get an awesome piece of art with everyone's John Hancock's =)

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  16. oh my god, there are so many kick ass options:

    1. Give guests squares of fabric and markers. Have them sign, draw, advise, whatever. Embroider the squares and make a freaking heirloom quilt out of them. Duh.

    2. Actually let guest sign your marriage certificate. If you're worried about people messing it up, have an attendant stand by. Ballsy, maybe, but by far, my most favorite.

    3.Send out recipe cards and ask guests to leave advice and their most famous family recipe. Create a cookbook.

    4. Travel or destination themed? Leave pre-stamped postcards for that will be sent to your new home for guests to write advice, blessings, or well-wishes on.

    5. Ask guests to sign a bottle of wine to be opened up on your 1st, 10th, 25th anniversary! That way, years from now, you can toast to all of their good health, love, and support.

    6. Make a time capsule! Tell them to write notes that will be read at some mysterious time in the distant future.

    6. If you're into some kind of quirky sport, like SURFING, have them sign a vintage surfboard that can be mounted as decoration. I don't know actually if this will translate into other sports, but jeez, if I lived in Hawaii, and I loved to surf, and my house was all 1940s Pearl Harbor beach-y, I'd do it.



    Here's the thing: Your guests are going to do what you ask them to do. So if you say, "Please sign your name." They will. And your guest book will suck. BUT. If you remember why you want to commemorate their presence in the first place, really dig down deep and realize that all these people are here because they love the crap out of you and want to celebrate with you, then you will find the right words/the right way to involve them, and they will respond ten-fold. Trust me. People have hearts. <3

    All my love,
    Allyson

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  17. I got a blank skateboard deck in blue. Will be written on in silver Sharpie. Then hung somewhere. We wanted a snowboard deck ... but that would be a bitch to get to Hawaii.

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  18. agree with you ESB! I spent a lot of time on making my signing book, to not really finishing it and NEVER looking at it.

    If I had to do it again, I would just keep all the cards and call it a day.

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  19. I have to be honest. As a wedding guest, I do not like guest books in any form.

    I like to write, but I don't always like to write on command, I certainly don't like to write on command on a mat with one inch of space for everyone to see, and I definitely don't like to write on command when I have friends to talk to that I haven't seen in ages and a cocktail to drink.

    As a result, I pretty much never sign guest books or index cards or posters or whatever else it is. Because I'd rather not sign than write something like "Congrats you guys! XOXO!"

    Before everyone castigates me as Wedding Guest Enemy Number One, I do write cards and I try to write long, thought out, warm wishing cards for people's weddings.

    But seriously, in my not so humble opinion?

    Fuck the guest book.

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  20. I agree with ESB - totally abandon the idea 100%. Picture your future self doing ANYTHING with ANY content created by your guests at your wedding. Not going to happen. For a few different weddings I've helped couples make prompt cards or forms (draw the groom's future facial hair, name a drink after the bride, advice for the newlyweds - crap like that), which later went in a box or on a binder ring. I bet the couples MAYBE read through the notes once.

    HOWEVER! If you are the more traditional or sappy type (not a bad thing), I once read where a couple had 3 jars where you would leave notes. One jar of notes that they would read later that night, one for their one year anniversary and one for their 5year (or something). I thought this was cute because I like the idea of leaving funny notes for future people.

    That said, we gave some friends a time capsule when they got married...and they got divorced before they could open it.

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  21. We bought a cool hand made paper, drawing book from the local craft store. I glued in all our favorite engagement photos then added my artistic touch by painting a peacock feather with watercolor on each spread in a different places. I also painted one on the front with our names and wedding date. The last touch was gluing a ribbon in the front and back to tie it closed for after the wedding. I had an unbelievable amount of comments, and everyone looked through the whole book to see the engagement photos.

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  22. Thank you so much for saying that. I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I can make this tradition less dumb, when really, all I have to do is recognize I hate it and we shouldn't do it.

    BUT, if you actually feel you need to do it, I would do this: http://www.thrilledforyou.com/

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  23. noooooooo. no!! one of my husband and my's favorite moments post-wedding was reading our guest book together!! we sat and paged through and read all of the beautiful things that people wrote to us. and now it's proudly displayed on our bookshelf at home and we can look at it whenever we want to have a tingly-happy-flood-of-wedding-memories come rushing back. our book was a simple scrapbook which my mom covered in beautiful hand-made paper and water-colored "Mike & Tonia" on the front. It's simple and understated and got the job done.

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  24. We had a non-lined notebook sitting out on a table with colorful markers. Some people wrote some really amazing things in it.

    It was cheap and easy. We picked it up at Epcot a few days before our ceremony. Looking for a nice, modern-looking non-cheesy Disney journal was a fun scavenger hunt. And it's a great memory (we spent time trying on Mickey Mouse ears and hats, etc etc).

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  25. if you live in NY/manhattan, you can do as my sister did, and use this artbook: http://www.matteopericoli.com/books/book.html. shows both sides of manhattan in a continuous pen-and-ink drawing, with plenty of space for messages. the best part? $10 at the strand.

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  26. eff the guest book is the only correct answer.

    we didn't have one, and i didn't miss it one bit. neither did our guests.

    we DID have people write us notes on some pretty sweet cards. but we didn't require it, or remind them about it, or make them wait in line to do it. and i have to say, there were definitely some gems in the bunch. but overall, they were a little meh.

    save the dollars you would spend on a guest book and/or stationary and pay for a badass photographer and too many drinks for your friends & family.

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  27. totally agree with @ruchi.

    I have also seen guest-books disappear and reappear for circulation among the last partiers. No longer a pretty guestbook if you know what I mean.

    So yeah. Fuck the guest book.

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  28. TL:DR - but, in response to Lauren, as a former aquarium store employee, can I say DON'T GIVE FISH AS GIFTS. SRSLY. THAT'S CRUEL AS FUCK. Aquariums are really hard to keep properly, and it skeezes me out that people are so cavalier about letting aquarium fish die. NO FISH GIFTS. JUST DON'T DO IT.

    Stepping down from podium now. I have nothing to add on the guest book issue.

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  29. we probably wouldn't have had one, but one of our friends had given us our initials and an & sign in big white wooden letters for our engagement. we stuck them near the door with a couple of black and silver sharpies and a sign explaining that this was the guestbook. now they sit on our bookshelf where we see them every single day - we would have put them there naked anyway, but i love seeing all the names of who was at our wedding just as part of our everyday furniture.

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  30. We had a stack of small papers with pens and a big jar. People wrote on the paper and rolled or folded it up an put it in the jar. Worked well. And we can stick the notes into an album wherever we want.

    HOWEVER

    My mother didn't find this appropriate and bought a 'proper' guestbook and went around to all the guests and asked them to sign it. She then presented it to us the next day as if she was a Saint. She also really confused our guests with more than one telling me they didn't know which to do.

    THE END

    ps I second what esb said

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  31. Just worth noting the non-book options is a great way to get better/less boring comments from your guests. We got a great note from married friends that simply said "congrats! How great is married sex!!" something they would NEVER write in a guestbook.

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  32. I got really drunk/tired at my best friends wedding (we'd been up all night 'creatively' swagging chiffon)and drew a big pair of boobs right in the middle pages of her guest book.....and an arse on the last page.
    Last seen burning in a bin after her divorce....but I still look at my guestbook 10 years on, occasionally,but then no bitch draw genitals is mine!

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  33. Personally I make an effort to write rude and funny comments in people's fancy guestbooks, based on the assumption that they will obviously be the best comments.

    I think people don't like pretension and faked grandeur. But there's nothing bad about letting people write lovely notes. What's the stress either way?

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  34. the dudes that did out letterpress invites made "guestbook posters". two huge pieces of poster board with 2 awesome quotes and our guests signed them. personalized "art" instead of dumb books that just sit on a bookshelf. see the posters in this post: http://www.featherlove.com/blog/angela-brandon-at-point-lobos-ridge-estate/

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  35. our guestbook was going to be in a pretty little book my mom made, and I was excited about it – but everyone forgot about it the day of, and it spent the whole day in my bedroom. The only reason I'm sad it didn't get used is because my mom made it, but I'll just use it for something else – I definitely didn't miss the guest book.

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  36. My two favs are typewriter guestbook with whatever paper you want and put it in with some photos all together later or some vinyl albums that people sign with metallic sharpies. then you can frame them along with the awesome album art later on. easy apt decor.

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  37. We are having a blank canvas with four different colors of paint and asking each guest to paint one brushstroke on the canvas. So, there's that idea.

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  38. I have to say, we originally had said "fuck the guest book as well." It was just another thing that we didnt need. BUT THEN, after we had some amazing engagement pictures taken by our photographer, he suggested getting a book made of the engagement photos with plenty of white space in it for guests to write messages, notes, draw doodles, whatever! And its totally one of our favorite parts of the wedding. Since I have a lot of artist friends, I have a feeling its going to turn out pretty rock and roll and PLUS THEN people get to see those pictures.

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