My shacking up (of 18 months) boyfriend (of 6 years) and I have been going around in circles about having a wedding for about a year. For ourselves, we don't care one way or the other about having a celebration. It is important to my parents because they are quite religious and important to his parents because his sister eloped and this is their one and only chance to have a big, fancy party. We have agreed these are compelling enough reasons to have a reception. We plan to go to the JOP in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
The problem becomes who to invite. We would prefer something small (50 or so folks) and (relatively) inexpensive. I have a large family (30 first cousins, not including their spouses, children, and step-children). We are quite close with some cousins from both sides and we have lived with a few of them, making a hard and fast no-extended-family-rule impractical. My parents have indicated that this would need to be an everyone or no one occasion.
Our circular conversation goes something like this:
I guess we should have a wedding with our families and a few close friends.
Yes, that's a great idea. I bet we could do it for under $5,000 if we are careful and have a small guest list.
Whoops! I have a million cousins, some of whom have helped us out in major ways and who we care about a lot.
We can't have a wedding because we can't invite so many people.
It would be really nice to mark our relationship somehow.
Repeat, ad nauseum.
Once this decision is made, the rest should fall into place. So... what's the answer?
Are your parents paying for the wedding?
IF NO --> Why are you letting them tell you who to invite?
IF YES --> Why don't you scrape up the $$ to pay for it yourselves? Then you can keep it small and (OMIGOD) invite only the cousins you're close to.
Collage by Colette Saint Yves via curiouser & curiouser via Bailey B via Kristin Kane
We get a lot of variations on this one, don't we?