pre-apology: super long and some run on sentences, but i am really frustrated.
let me start with my mommy issues... i moved out of my parent's when i was 20, yes, it was abrupt and probably should have been handled better, but i felt the need to go, but this devastated both of my parents, but my mom is far more vocal about it (or not vocal, seeing as she wouldn't speak to me for 2 months). just a month after i left home and moved 1200 miles away, yeah, all at once, hopped on a bus and made my journey, i met my fiancée. due to financial issues, we moved in together 4 weeks after we started dating and were engaged one week later. i knew she would freak out, so i didn't tell them i was engaged right away, i waited about 2 more months, because we were still not getting along well so they had not come to visit me and had not met him. we decided we wanted to get married right away, we just clicked, soul mates and whatnot, so i basically just invited them to come see us get married, which was basically just an elopement. i will be the first to admit, that was probably not nice, but begrudgingly, they came and the day before the wedding, we all sat down and talked, and my fiancee and i decided to wait, seeing as how they, again, begrudgingly agreed to pay for a wedding, in exchange for us being a little more patient. we also talked one on one and agreed to start over, my mom would stop "punishing" me for moving out. things went ok for a couple months, but then she started doing it again, not talking to me, literally refusing to talk about the wedding, she actually told me i am "a horrible person with no morals" and that i would not have the wedding i imagined, insinuating that even if they could afford something, they would not do it, just to spite me.
well, here is the dilemma, though, i want to have a real wedding and it will be years before we could afford to have a wedding on our own, and i do not want to wait years to actually get married, but if we go to the courthouse, my family will never forgive me, and obnoxious as they are, i still love them. so, we have some paperwork to take care of, so we are having a hard time setting a date, but we know it will be this year, so i have chosen my bridesmaids and i am planning out all of the details and being as kind as i possibly can, i asked my bridesmaids to go to a website and pick their favorite style for their dress...twice now. no response, from any of them, most of whom are my relatives, they don't answer when i send them anything or ask any questions about the wedding, for their opinion, because i am doing this by myself from another state, where they live. i write a blog full of inspiration for my wedding, and i know for a fact they don't read, and the only one who ever shows any interest bitches about anything i choose because we are very opposite in terms of style and personality, but i love her, she is my cousin and i am one of the few people who will put up with shit.
so seriously, how the eff do i deal with all of them? if i anger them, then there is no wedding, and if there is no wedding, we will go to the courthouse, and then we will be screwed, because my mom will hate me and the rest of my family will follow.
YOU JUST MET HIM.
Stop trying to plan a wedding and enjoy all the we-just-met-and-we're-madly-in-love stuff.
Srsly. Wedding planning is a total boner killer.
Photos by Fabio Bartelt for Marie Claire, Layout by DESIGNLOVEFEST via cevd