This has been something that has been causing me stress since my wedding in early August 2010. I am not good with confrontation especially when it comes to people that mean a lot to me. So I tend to avoid it all together. I have spoken to a couple of friends about this, but I need someone who sees it from the outside to see if I am in the wrong.
Our wedding was small, about 60 people, with 40 being from out of town. It was exactly what we wanted and couldn't have had a better day. My problem lies in the fact that 2 of my closest girlfriends feel that I didn't spend enough time with them, so they are not speaking to me, even nine months later. The only reason I now know why, is I spoke to one of them in Jan. (after I called them both multiple times). She acted like nothing was wrong, that she had just been very busy. I had made a comment about visiting this coming summer and seeing them and she replies with "if you have time." It didn't really hit me at the time of the call, but it did later on that day. This is the one and only time we have spoken. Needless to say I am extremely hurt by the fact that I am now being ignored.
To give a little more background, my husband and I moved to CO in 2008. We were not engaged at the time, but knew it would eventually happen. When we did get engaged we decieded that we wanted it in our new home town. My two girlfriends and their significant others came out the Thursday before our wedding. I invited them over to our apt, since this was their first time out. They declined and went to a local restaurant with bad margaritas. There was no invite for my husband and I. The next day, I went to get my manicure/pedicure done and a few friends joined. The two friends joining as well. Things seemed fine. We had a dinner that night with everyone who came from out of town, after dinner we went for drinks and my friends secluded themselves and then left without saying goodbye. I wonder if I should have made more of an effort to include them, but they weren't trying. Do I ignore everyone else, so to talk with them? At the wedding they did the same thing. I went over to their table and said hello, then when I went to find them later, they were sitting inside on a bench. Everyone else was outside. I got pulled away and again they left without saying goodbye. They were on a plane early the next morning.
I have known these two girls since freshman year of college and now we are in our early 30s. I feel at this age, we shouldn't be acting like this and I don't want to, I am just at a loss as to what to say.
I feel that at this point, I am not sure our friendship can be salvaged. Was I in the wrong or what do I do now?
Please don't waste ONE MORE IOTA of energy worrying about these "friends" of yours.
Bubye friends. Bye! We had some good times, but I'm moving on.
Life's too short.
Image: Rupert Shrive via PourPorter via obia, the 3rd