Sunday, February 22, 2009

F* the $10,000 wedding. Have a picnic.

One of my favorite wedding bloggers is sick to death of the phrase "budget wedding." The words have lost their meaning. (I mean, how could my budget be the same as your budget?) It's just a lazy way for the mainstream media to categorize non-traditional and/or DIY weddings. And then turn around and try to sell you stuff.*

At the same time, some couples are counting every dollar and cent. Jessica (aka Budget Savvy Bride), who is aiming for a $10,000 wedding, is 10 weeks away from the big day, and the venue that told her she could bring her own wine now wants to charge $40/bottle. She hasn't signed a contract and she's afraid she might have to postpone the whole thing.

Meg told Jessica, "It's a wedding, not the event of a lifetime. You want to get married right? That's going to make you happy, right? So look around. Maybe you can have a wee adorable wedding in a friend's home, or a family house. Maybe a park. Maybe a courthouse with a sassy pencil skirt, heels, and a fabulous facinator..."

That's the best advice I've heard all year. Would you also tell these two, who are asking for donations to throw their $10,000 wedding?

*From hippie to Marxist in just five days.
My Wesleyan is showing.

(Photo courtesy of The Daily Planet)


  1. I just gasped at that wedding donation blog. Wow. Does that make me a snob?

  2. No maggie that does not make you a snob.

  3. I guess I'm in the minority here, but I support them. It's much better than going into debt and I'm sure there are many people out there willing to help them out. Why shouldn't they have the wedding of their dreams if they are willing to work for it?

    I guess I just have a soft spot for teachers. :)

  4. It's this "wedding of your dreams" idea that is so corrosive, I think. Have an honest wedding, whatever that is. Small isn't bad, just like bigger isn't horrible. Start your marriage on a realistic footing, whatever that is for you.

  5. Eek. What is it about weddings that makes people forget that very simple lesson, "if you can't afford it, you can't have it"?

    An honest wedding... now, that's more like it.

  6. Yikes. I think it also slips some minds that this day is the BEGINNING of a life together... there'll be plenty of opportunities to throw fancy parties to celebrate your love later on. (they sometimes call those "anniversaries")

  7. I need to visit your blog more. For a variety of reasons.

    We`re planning our wedding on a $4,000 budget. I don`t think this makes me better than you, or that other couple having their wedding at the Casa Loma (no joke, it`s this lovely castle in Toronto that books weddings 7 years in advance). I just want an honest wedding, like Meg said, and one that won`t make me go broke. Completely.

    Barbecue wedding, and our own liquor license. Enough said!

  8. Thank you. I know that I am getting closer and closer to having a wedding date in my future, and sometimes I look at everything and it just makes me tired and then I think. Tents, BBQ, kegs. Done.

  9. I find donations to be ... (dare I say) tacky. You can't afford your wedding, have a barbecue or pot luck, and get your family to pitch in. But don't ask for donations. (Sorry to offend. That's just how I see it.)

  10. I agree with Krista. I'm a public school teacher who is also getting married. I wouldn't dare ask for donations when I teach students who's families can barely afford to put food on the table. The wedding industry in America drives me insane. I wish people would learn to use their creativity and come up with a celebration that doesn't rely on "show".

  11. Ha! My brother JUST told me that his impression of the wedding we're throwing is "fancy schmancy meets redneck bbq". Which is why I love my brother and why our wedding will rule. Only thing, we've been together ten years. This is NOT the START of our life together and probably IS the biggest shindig we'll ever get a chance to throw, so we're letting ourselves do the things we would normally never be able to justify (pedicures, golf trips, etc.) Honestly, I already feel "married" and this is just the wedding... maybe that's the way to do it have the marriage first, get that solid, then have a big frickin' party to celebrate around ten years or so (an anniversary party is never the same!)

  12. Accidental Housewife, I agree on the "starting a life together" bit.
    My parents are hosting a second reception for us in September, jointly with their 25th wedding anniversary. They are insisting that the invites be worded "celebrate the couple as they begin their new life together".
    First off, ew. Gag me. Please.
    Secondly, no, we've been living together for three years, which isn't ten, but it is enough to know that we have a life together, thank you very much.

    As for donations, yeah, tacky. Honestly, it's a bit like having people pay for their own loot bags for a party, and then also bring a gift. The wedding industrial complex fascinates me at times.

  13. Well, I know the couple in question, and their idea of the "wedding of their dreams" is eloping. But his mom is in her 80s and their friends are in the same boat--20s to 40's in a bad economy trying to find a happy medium.

    I figure I could give my money to Starbucks or to my friends. Not so hard a decision.

  14. I love it when I comment too, ESB... :-)

    With that said -- I guess I'm technically pro-donation, but I suppose I'm more anti-criticizing this decision. The dollars these two do (or do not) raise will be the measure of the popularity of their move; I daresay the majority of readers will not donate. The American Cancer Society receiving multiple thousands of dollars (or not) as a result of their efforts will speak volumes for the success of their campaign.

    Furthermore, if what these two are guilty of is a lack of pride or an abundance of shame, I suppose we all have our moments in that category -- if that really is something to be guilty of. So are these two more wrong because they had their moment on the Internet?

    Finally, if blogging for pennies is the only thing these two were doing to raise funds, I guess I'd question it. But if it's one of the many stones they're turning over to meet their goals for their wedding, it's awfully hard to say (in this day and age) that they're not simply being resourceful and exploring every avenue to raise these funds.

    I doubt there's any cents (or sense) to be found in my comments since it's 5 a.m., but if I accidentally landed on some I'm all for it.