Seeking: ROYGBIV Wedding Flats

Hi ESB!

My best friend is getting married this fall and is looking for some rainbow flats. Her wedding colors are ROYGBIV and each of her seven bridesmaids is wearing a dress with one of those colors. She needs to wear flats because her FH is slightly shorter than her. We've tried to find flats on our own with little success, so I was hoping that you would be able to help us out!

Thank you so much!

PS. I almost forgot, she wears a size 10 and it would be nice if the shoes were less than $100... She's on a shoestring budget! Thanks again!

*****

I was all ready to tell you to tell the bride to GET OVER THE FUCKING RAINBOW THING when I found these multi-color glitter lace-ups by Anniel (available at Bird).

I mean.

Right??
______________________________
I'm crossing my fingers that she's a smallish 10 (I.E. a European 40) because they're out of stock in size 41. But larger sizes are avail in silver glitter over here.

Speaking of bags.....

Rumor has it Baggu is about to come out with a leather version of their signature bag.

I'd much rather have this lambskin version of a plastic bodega bag from Cast of Vices. (Complete with suffocation disclaimer and recycle logo.)

Via kidchamp

Dear ESB: Should I skip the necklace?

I'm stuck on wedding day jewelry.

I have the dress, which looks like this, except I think I'm going to take off that shoulder and the train during alterations. It should be noted that I look nothing like that girl - I'm 5'1, pale, brunette, and about a size 18.

I'm already wearing these, which I love, but I feel like there needs to be something else going on here. I'd love to wear a necklace, but I'm allergic to some kind of unidentified metal (technically I shouldn't be wearing those earrings, but my ears don't react anywhere near as badly as my neck does). So the necklace would either have to be 14k gold or higher, which I don't have the money for, or not metal.

Can you think of anything that would work? Or should I just skip the necklace entirely and go for a bracelet and something fabulous on my head?

*****

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ME THIS QUESTION.

You don't need a necklace, lady.

I saw a perfectly gorgeous bride on a wedding blog recently -- I won't call her out -- but her necklace was TOO MUCH. It distracted from the neckline of her dress and her, um, décolletage (what a douchey word).

Anyhoo. I bet you have a GREAT décolletage.

JANE PUTS STICKERS ON HER BIRKIN

Not to mention worry beads.

How fucking cool is this lady??

I don't want a BOSSY BRIDESMAID

Dear ESB,

Okay, so here's the deal. I'm getting married next summer, and my fiance and I have just started talking about our wedding party, and who we want to be a part of it. We both decided that it would be a sweet gesture if my brother is one of his groomsmen, and I'm totally fine with that. What I'm not fine with is making my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) a bridesmaid. The problem is, ten years ago when her and my brother were married, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, so now I'm feeling like I have to make her one of mine, just on principal.

On one hand, I feel like NOT asking her to be a bridesmaid would be insulting to her (she's the type to hold a grudge), and after my wedding day I could potentially have to deal with the repercussions of that.

On the other hand, if I DO ask her to be a bridesmaid, I will have to deal with her a whole lot more than I would like (she already lives in the same city as me). The reason this is something I don't want is because she can be manipulative and controlling, and tends to make situations more complicated than they need to be. On top of that, any time she's ever helped me with anything, even when I haven't asked, she never lets me forget "how great she is." I'm worried that if I ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, she's going to abuse her position, and end up bossing me around and telling me what I SHOULD be doing at my own wedding.

I'm just feeling so torn up about the whole thing. Of course my mother thinks I should make her a bridesmaid, because she thinks that although it is my wedding day, it's only one day, and I'm going to have to deal with my sister-in-law for the rest of my life. Also, my mother likes to point out that although my sister-in-law is a complete pain-in-the-ass, she really "means well" and does try to show me she cares, in her own way. This is all fine, except this isn't just any other day, it's my wedding day, and I don't want to have to deal with her crap!

Anyway, I could really use your no B.S. advice right about now. So lay it on thick, I can take it. Thanks for any help!

-Bride with no time for B.S.

*****

Give her a different, "very important" job that will keep her FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

Photo: Clémence Poesy by Ellen Von Unwerth

MAL Spike Ring

Seems like an accessory a mean hipster bride ought to have.

MAL via The Shiny Squirrel

Attention: All you exhibitionists

LPC + Maddie would like you to wear this over your BHLDN dress.

(I bet if you did Hart + Sol would even offer you a discount on wedding photography.)

While I'm posting sparkly things.....

How do we feel about these Glitter Heels from Zara?

They're finally selling shit online, so that's a good thing I guess.

via Megan Gilger via The Social Type

Seeking: The Unicorn of Engagement Rings

ESB,

Do you know of any great vintage jewelry shops? I’ve found Erstwhile, but any other recommendations would be most appreciated. I’m looking for an Art Deco, preferably rose cut ring.

Thanks!

*****

Funny you should ask... I've finally landed a vintage jewelry sponsor, and I could not be more stoked.

Badass + Modern + Antique = THE TRIFECTA

I emailed my guy at EraGem to ask which of his Art Deco rings are rose cut and he told me "the use of rose cut diamonds predates the art deco period. Art deco jewelry used predominately old european cut diamonds."

Such as:

Here's a (SOLD) example of a late 1800s rose cut ring from Erie Basin:

This would not have been an engagement ring.

Mike says, "Engagement rings weren't always a part of getting married. They seem to start about 1880s late victorian with old miner cut diamonds..."

Here's a (SOLD) example of a Victorian mine cut ring from Erie Basin:

And here's an Art Deco ring with a big ol' mine cut diamond from EraGem (also SOLD):

Mike says "I haven't actually seen an engagement ring with a rose cut center stone..."

The ring you're looking for may not exist.

Pictured at top: Vintage Estate Diamond Cluster Cocktail Ring

I Don't Want Him to Walk Me Down the Aisle

Dear ESB,

I'm getting married in November. My father and stepmother didn't speak to me for six years prior to my engagement because my stepmother interpreted a look on my face as "frozen" during a conversation we had about facials. My stepmother (who has been married to my father since I was two years old) is paranoid, narcissistic, and cruel. My father is loyal to her, however, so if she decides to shut someone out of her life, my father will shut them out too. Despite numerous attempts to reach out to them, they haven't met my fiance, who I've been in a relationship with for 4 years, and they haven't met our son, who was born over a year ago.

I sent them both a wedding invitation. My father told me that my stepmother won't come to my wedding because she "doesn't expect any relationship changes." I did apologize to her (for the perceived slight), and even asked my father for advice regarding how to make things right with her so that everyone could feel comfortable at the wedding. She wasn't interested in my attempts to reconcile though and has decided to just not come to the wedding.

In a recent email, my father said that he wanted to walk me down the aisle. I want my son to walk with me during my ceremony, and not my father, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Should I set aside my feelings, and allow him the honor of walking me down the aisle? Or risk hurting him by walking instead with my son? I know traditionally the father walks with the bride, but our wedding will be anything but traditional.

This has been the most stressful part of my wedding planning so far, and I need some perspective. Thank you!

Signed,
If You Walk Away, I'll Walk Away

*****

Your dad forfeited the right to walk you down the aisle when he didn't speak to you for six years. And he hasn't even met your son? FUCK THAT.

Tell him you've got another plan.

Photo by Melissa Cowan

HI, my name is L------.

(click photo to view Gameboy, bong, etc. in greater detail)

I made a movie.

If you live in Vancouver or near Vancouver (or you've always wanted to visit Vancouver and f*ck it why not? you've got miles), you can come see my movie at the Vancouver Int'l Film Festival on Oct 7 + 10.

I'll be there. They're doing Q&A's after the screenings and I am frankly a little nervous about em so if a couple of you showed up and maybe waved NO CRYING banners, that would be rad.

Can I put my guests on a PARTY BUS?

Hi ESB,

Big fan of your blog. I definitely knew I'd be writing in at some point so I'm not even going to try to play it cool.

I am recently engaged and running into a little logistical problem. I am from a beautiful lake area in Upstate NY and would really like to be married up there. Unfortunately, it is an HOUR away from the nearest church that we can use, for religious reasons. The church is non-negotiable.

My thought, and the expense doesn't seem to be an issue, is that we would provide guests with a party bus to take them to the church from a hotel in my town, and then back from the church to the reception area, where cocktail hour would immediately start when they arrived. The party bus would serve beer/wine and have music for the ride up. I think we'd wind up renting two large buses and just cart everyone around that way. I'm wondering if you think that would be a huge pain to our guests!!

We love the church, it's beautiful, and we love our venue.... I've looked so hard already to try to find a place in between the two as a venue but they are all either booked or prohibitively expensive --- plus, we'd still be providing the buses the ride would just be a bit shorter. I am hoping you'll agree with me on this one, that a party bus equipped with alcohol and our awesome friends and family for an hour long ride will not be a big damper on the day, but give it to me straight... I really want everyone to have a great time.

Thanks for any help!!

-The Traveling Bride

*****

Don't assume that all of your guests will be willing/able to drink beer and wine. You really ought to have some whiskey on hand.

Photo by Grant Harder via Katey Dutton via Unruly Things

Porcelain Cucumber

According to {far 4} it "makes for a great arrangement with a porcelain walnut."

Which... they don't sell? wtf.

via PourPorter

Don't want this d-bag to ruin my special day

Dear ESB,

One of my dearest friends is in an abusive relationship. He is patronizing, condescending and rude. He's selfish and puts her and all women down. He once told her that she mooches off of him, despite her working full time and going to school at night. He is not a wallflower, so being around him is like being forced to be tortured (made fun of, judged, interrogated, just generally made to feel awful about yourself). On top of all this, my good friend's mother recently passed away. What makes me truly think he is abusive (verbally so far) is that he makes her feel guilty for being sad about losing her mom (whom she was extremely close to), as if he is put-out for "having to deal with her grief all the time." She lives in another city than all of her close friends, and they live together. I feel like he uses this death and her lack of close-in-proximity-friends to further isolate her. It's a terrible, terrible situation, and between all my girlfriends, we are just trying to be supportive and hope time will work this out.

The problem with time is that my wedding is coming up, and my friend is a bridesmaid. I don't want to see her boyfriend ever again in my whole entire life (he said some really offensive things to me, and it is known that I don't approve, but I also feel like he is SUCH a jerk that he'd be like "Oh I'm coming to ruin your wedding because you don't like me!"). I can't imagine my rehearsal dinner, with only a few close friends and family and their dates... which includes HIM. The problem is that he is so obnoxious, he's bound to offend me, my family, my friend, just basically make someone cry or really offend someone by being the overall bigot he is - he cannot just sit there and be pleasant and cordial. The wedding is in my hometown, and he won't know anyone except her (and a few other bridesmaids), and obviously I want my gals to focus on bridesmaidsy stuff - getting nails done, drinking champagne, etc., and I just KNOW she's going to be obsessed with his whereabouts, making sure he's ok in this town he doesn't know, and I wouldn't put it past them for him to just BE around. She'll also skip out of the reception early to just be with him, and I want all my best friends to be with me on my night. 

She is so weak and vulnerable right now, I feel like if I tell her my concerns, she will back out of my wedding and maybe even lose each other as friends and she'll feel even more isolated. I absolutely adore this girl, despite her terrible taste in men. I feel very protective. I also turn to her for good life advice and just overall good times. I cannot imagine my life or my wedding without her. I feel selfish, but I chose all my bridesmaids so carefully, and I want them all to be there enjoying MY day with me. I want to be there for her, but I also want my special day to be not ruined by this dude. As in... he needs to not be there. HELP. Please!

-Bride With Good Intentions (I swear hate this d-bag for good reasons!!)

*****

You have to tell her HE'S NOT INVITED. And tell her why.

It would be awful if your friend pulled away from you and missed your wedding, but she may have to hit rock bottom before she gets her shit together and leaves the asshole.

Photo by Craig McDean via Fashion Gone Rogue

our big day (from 17beats)

Greetings from your resident cranky-pants and kill-joy, 17beats !!!

You've been getting a lot of emails from women hemming and hawing about eloping ... or questioning if they should just scrap their over-the-top wedding plans and retreat to Vegas. Here's our story (and a bunch of pictures) about the wedding that we thought would never happen.

The whole event was almost completely spontaneous, which truth be told, is very US. It wasn't until 36 hours prior that I even contemplated getting a dress; I just figured I'd wear something I already owned. After lunch with a good friend, though, I picked out this little number on a whim. It was somehow flattering (a marvel when you're 4 months pregnant) and seemed like it could be worn again. Everything else -- the bracelet, the ring, the earrings, the clutch -- was part of my hoard of sparklies. I had planned on wearing some brown pumps, but switched to black that morning, as it was chilly and I needed to wear a jacket.

The entire day was easy-breezy. No hoopla whatsoever! D's best friend was the witness and the photographer -- we called him the night before. I am lucky enough to be friends with a florist, so the bouquet & corsage literally appeared on our doorman's desk that morning (such a lovely gift from a dear lady).

We got an early start, and bounced over to City Hall and did the deed IN UNDER TWENTY MINUTES, and then headed uptown to buy rings. The sales woman was over-the-moon excited for us -- apparently we were the first newlyweds she'd ever helped (in 25 years) and she just LOVED our "story." We celebrated with a divine lunch at the Modern, and a leisurely stroll through MoMA, something we never seem to have the time for. That was the whole idea of the day -- to have the date we always promise each other, but never do because of work/crowds/etc.

We came home and D surprised me with a "Happy Birthday and Wedding" cake from my favorite straight-out-of-1960 Italian bakery. It was filled with chocolate pudding and cannoli cream and was absolutely delicious. It actually said "Happy Birthday and Wedding" on the top in perfect florescent pink jelly-icing script, which I found endlessly amusing. (I think I forgot to mention that it happened to be my 30th birthday, and the day before the world was supposed to end... HA.) After some cake, we slow danced to Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" and I sobbed like the sentimental sap I evidently am.

But that's because it was a Perfect Day. People fawned over us and went out of their way to be kind. There were "Mazel Tovs," "Best Wishes," and handshakes at every turn. Without a reservation, we somehow scored a table at the restaurant in under a minute. Countless tourists took our photos, and ladies-who-lunch toasted us with champagne. A little girl told us we looked like a prince and a princess, and a security guard cracked Will and Kate jokes. Even though we wanted the day to be completely private and JUST BETWEEN US, we ended up sharing it with all of New York. It was magnificent.

I am overwhelmed with joy that you sent me these photos.

I love them love them love them. And I love your story. It's just what I needed to hear on September 12, 2011.

CHECK OUT WHITNEY DEAL, YOU GUYS!

Did you know she was secretly whipping up a WEDDING COLLECTION?

I did not know.

p.s. Whitney also happens to be one half of oh, darling!, one of my hella rad new sponsors. Does she ever sleep?? is my next question.

Seeking Flats: not blingtastic, not too blah

Dear ESB,

I have been having the absolute worst time finding shoes for my wedding in January. I would love to wear the most rockin' heels, but that is just not in the cards (read: chasing millions of kids all day and super lame knee that won't allow rockin' heels for more than an hour). So, flats it is!

I have been having the worst time finding rad flats that aren't something I could wear everyday and aren't the most blingtastic, could absolutely never wear again. My dress is super classic and I would love to find some navy or possibly purple shoes with some awesome accent to wear with it. If you or your fantastic readers could help me, I would be SO grateful!

Budget: Under $200 if possible, thanks!

*****

Rarely will you catch me recommending BOWS. But the Marais Maryjanes (pictured above) are pretty terrific.

These T-bar Flats are also rad.

Would you consider tan with gold studs?

Waiting to elope

Dear ESB,

My man and I have known we wanted to be together for the legal long haul for quite some time, and last year I asked him if he would be ok with eloping. He's always been very clear about how ready he is to sign on the dotted line, and said, "just let me know when you want to marry me." So I asked him one day how much notice he'd like--he said one day's notice. To save for rings and possibly a honeymoon, I talked him into a year's notice.

So I've thought about it and thought about it--all  the time I frustrate myself with this silly waiting game. We know we want to get married, we don't want to have a wedding, why not just do it? I've thought about giving "a year's notice" in November, for our anniversary. We're going to the mountains like we did last year (to stay with a very inspiring 83 year old German woman in an 19th century farmhouse, on her peacock farm run by 4 huge Alsatian dogs! Incidentally, the Frau thinks we're married and sends us mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Mylastname. Sehr suß.)

Then today, I don't know why, I thought: why don't we just elope this November? Another thing weighing on my mind is that I don't know how much longer my grandmother is going to be alive... we live on opposite sides of the country and she has decided it's too difficult for her to travel anymore. We're still very close, and last month I was lucky enough to spend 8 days with her. We talked extensively about marriage and relationships and I got her approval to marry my dearest. I know it would make her happy, and also fill the empty frame that she's been staring at in the hallway among all the family wedding photos. (She even hinted while I was there, "maybe one of the grandkids will get married!" The reason the frame is empty is quite sad--her youngest son--a preacher!--cut off all communication with the family.) Also, I know I want to wear my grandmother's beautiful blue velvet dress (with a leather jacket, naturally) to the courthouse. November would be just enough time to hem the dress and call a photographer--perfect, no?

Am I just making this way more complicated than it needs to be? It's an elopement for chrissake! Should I tell him I'd rather fuck this whole plan-an elopement-a-year-in-advance thing? OR should I surprise him when we're already in the mountains? He's my best friend--I feel like I've been sitting on this "year's notice" thing waiting for November to roll around when really we're married every day, just not on paper. OR should we really wait a year and save up for a kick ass honeymoon?

Sincerely,
Waiting to elope

*****

Surprise him.

Hem the dress, call a photographer, and give him one day's notice just like he asked you to.

p.s. Yay!!

Lola by Hilary Walsh, styled by Brett Bailey, makeup by Sara Glick for Unwind Magazine

a little something blue

From Alyson Fox's new collection. How gorg would this necklace be with a simple white dress? I mean, right??

Email Alyson directly for pricing + availability. (And soon. That shit sells out quick.)

p.s. Remember Alyson's own repurposed wedding dress? Gaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Back to the usual DRESS PROBLEMS

Dear ESB,

The year started off like any other: working my full-time job, trying to get my photography career going, making plans for my fiance's film shoot in a developing country... We shot the film in March. In April my sister/bestie had a baby. In May, baby daddy left. In June we found out my dad had cancer. In July my dad had surgery. In August we found out the film we made will premier at Tiff (in September)!! The stress and travel of 2011 are now catching up to me and my chronic illness, which has been in remission for two years, is back. 

Now you have my list of reasons (excuses) for why I don't have a wedding dress. My other excuse is that I can't justify spending a bucket-load on one article of clothing blah, blah, blah. I've been to bridal shops and am pretty grossed out by the shiny, plastic-y dresses that appear to have been designed in the 90's.

I'm 5'3", size 8 and my stomach swells to four-months-pregnant when I'm stressed thanks to the aforementioned chronic illness (I'm probably exaggerating). I'd like something long, with some structure and in the white family. Empire waists are not my friend. My budget is $500ish. The wedding is in November in a restored barn on a mountain.

I live in New York and have done the department store circuit. Any suggestions on where else I might shop? Have you seen anything that might work? Am I being too picky and/or cheap?

Thanks.

No Time To Shop

*****

You guys feel like shopping????????

I am officially stumped. Last night I was all ready to recommend the Marilyn Gown (I had it PASTED UP and everything, with flowers-in-hair a la Tori) when I realized it has a fucking empire waist.

I guess I must be out of practice.





Or...... lazy. There's a distinct possibility that I'm lazy.

Carola Remer by Sean & Seng for POP F/W 2011 via Kylea Borges via Sylvia Buchacher via don't you wish you had some more?

I don't want my in-laws at the wedding

Dear ESB,

We're a month away from our wedding and just now having some parent-issues.

My fiance has been on the outs with his parents/family for the better part of a few years. They've never really been happy with the fact that he's been with me, simply for the fact as I am not Jewish and he is (non-practicing, he really could care less about it). The one time we've met, they were really cold and pretended that I wasn't there. Nice, right? They were indifferent when he told them we were engaged as well and he hasn't really wanted to talk to them since.

Now that we're so close to the wedding, they want in. They want to go to the wedding to support him because they love him, even though they would've preferred a Jewish girl and that it's "bad enough" he's marrying outside of the faith, but they're "willing to put it aside." That's really the only reason.

I've really refrained from going batshit and telling him that I hate the whole lot of them for being such assholes because I don't want to put him in a position where he can't feel like he can talk openly about them and I always want him to be able to talk to me if he's feeling like shit. He now basically has asked me if I want them there. I don't want to be the one making this decision, but I also don't really want these people at our wedding.

Heeeeellp.

P.S. I am not planning on converting, as the both of us are pretty agnostic in our beliefs.

*****

You won. He's marrying you. Now you get to be the bigger person.

They're his PARENTS for fuck's sake. YES, YOU WANT THEM THERE.

Hyoni Kang by Lincoln Pilcher for Vogue China via Fashion Gone Rogue

psssssst.

there's a new dear esb for you over on 100lc.

get over there, wouldja?

coco rocha by bruce weber for vogue paris november 2007 via

Hinged Strung Stitched: handmade albums, books + boxes

For those of you still on the hunt for the perfect wedding album, Hinged Strung Stitched makes these simple, beautiful pieces by hand in their Portland studio.

Materials for the albums are all 100% cotton rag, acid free + archival, which I learned from my dear archivist readers (multiple! I've got multiple archivist readers!) is pretty crucial.
______________________________

First person to say "$200 for a blank book?" gets STRUNG UP. You are welcome to go to Walmart and buy a cheap-ass non-archival album, or source the acid-free paper and bind a motherfucking archival album yourself, but I really don't want to hear it.

Seeking: A FABULOUS FAKE

Dear ESB,

I'm looking for a fabulous fake diamond. My fiance proposed with an awesomely artistic wooden promise ring as a place holder because he knows how specific I can be. So I've been searching for the perfect ring and found it but I know the actual diamond will cut into our savings.

We are paying for the wedding, ourselves, putting a downpayment on a home and getting a new car in the very immediate future. I figure we can cut costs by getting a quality 2.5 - 3 carat fake and upgrade it later. So I'm looking for a fabulous fake for now that is undetectable to the naked eye and I want the OO's and Ah's to ensue.

I know that I can spot a Cubic Zirconia rainbow sparkle a mile away but not much more after that. Any advice?

Thanks in advance!

*****

Wear your AWESOME PROMISE RING until you can afford a $10,000 diamond.

Or: Spend the damn money if the OO's and Ah's are that important to you. Which, barf.

Emerald Cut Ring (pictured in bronze with sterling jewel) by Digby & Iona. The only sort of fake you'll ever catch me endorsing.

Dear ESB: Do I need wedding programs?

this should be easy. I just need a little guidance or kick in the pants.

Do I need wedding programs? Those little booklets one receives at a wedding that lists out the bridal party and all the songs and scripture (getting married in a church).

I've got ideas to DYI something beautiful, but the idea of spending a large amount of time for something most people use as a fan, leaves me with a headache. I don't want to be plagued with too many projects.

So, can I scrap the hundred bucks or so, and if people want to know how I met my maid of honor, they could ask and I could tell them?

many thanks

*****

fuck the programs!

Photo by Steve Fitch (1973) from the Diesels and Dinosaurs series, property of the Smithsonian American Art Museum via Bailey B via Una Vida Bella + Koprolitos

the search for THE PERFECT BAG

You guys, I'm on a bag hunt.

I suddenly realized I really ought not carry my "I ♥ LA" tote around the Vancouver Film Festival. (Much as I love my I ♥ LA tote. Which I have toted EVERYWHERE for almost two years now.)

This Dry Wax Haversack by Hoi Bo is just about the perfect bag, though I think I want something all black. Mabs they'd do me a custom black leather strap??

It's made of hand-waxed cotton, so it's completely water and dirt-proof, but it's much more lightweight (I'm assuming) than a leather bag. Have you ever toted a leather tote? That shit gets heavy FAST.

The Wet Wax Weekender pretty much slays me, too.

Hoi Bo isn't easy to purchase online, but the lovely ladies are happy to ship internationally if you email them directly.

(via n &n)

did I say I was "over" veils?

whoopsy.

(photos by lillian and leonard)

Um.

Dear ESB,

Although I could write an essay on the in-law drama I've had over the past 11 months, I'll spare you and me and cut to the real, pressing issue-at-hand: cowboy boots.

I have a beautiful pair of ivory silk Louboutins for my ceremony and cocktail hour but, much to the dismay of my mother, I want to wear cowboy boots to my reception. Not in the cheesy "I'm from Texas" way, but in the "I want to dance my ass off and I love boots" kind of way. And though I have 5 pairs of well worn boots, none of them seem a fit with my dress which, although fancy, was made for a great pair of boots. This is the dress but mine will be Ivory with a blush underlayer. Can you help me find the perfect boots? In 2 weeks?? HELP!

yours truly,
barefoot bride

*****

No

Dear ESB: Should I disregard your advice?

Dear ESB,

My wedding is fast approaching and for the first 6 months of searching for a dress, I was dead set on finding something vintage. It took me that long (and several purchases) to admit to myself that I’d have a better chance of encountering a unicorn than a vintage wedding dress even close to my size (and in my budget). So I went with a new dress that I love and makes my mom very happy.

Rewind back to vintage dress shopping, and I come across this beautiful lace wiggle dress that fits me perfectly (and I mean perfectly!). It’s clearly not my wedding dress, but I bought it anyway. It’s about twice as much as I would ever spend on a dress without a specific place to wear it, so, I’m thinking rehearsal dinner. The thing is, it is in the cream color family. I would say more of a beige-ish with gold accents. I know your rule about wearing anything close to white on the night before the wedding, but it’s sooo pretty. And perfect for my evening, cocktail-style rehearsal dinner (not my afternoon picnic wedding).

Should I go against your highly regarded advice, or find something else to wear?

Sincerely,
Pining Over Vintage

*****

You're a grownup. Do whatever you want.

Photo by Viviane Sassen of Kinga Rajzak for Pop Magazine via Soph Mueller

Inter-continental wedding woes: FOLLOW-UP

Dear ESB,

Just an update... I was this girl, who was asking your advice on how to plan a wedding for two families from opposite sides of the pond who aren't loaded.

In the end, for many many reasons, we decided to have a ceremony in both lands. The first was a civil ceremony in my Grandma's backyard in Michigan. While the location was originally chosen as she was housebound (and I wanted her to attend my wedding more than anyone in the world beside myself and my fiance), she passed away 2 months before the wedding. The ceremony went ahead, the last family event to take place in her home, after nearly 60 years and 5 generations celebrating all major events there. As you can probably guess, it was a very emotional day, but it was everything I've ever wanted in a wedding. We ate BEFORE the ceremony (a barbeque catered by my former boss), I wearing a burgundy dress that my grandmother wore as her "going away dress" the day after her wedding in 1941.

My family did everything for the wedding for us: decorating the backyard, hiring a tent and chairs, and covering everything with flowers, on a budget of literally 600 dollars. Right before the ceremony, I changed into a light blue 1950's dress. My cousin played Beatles songs on his guitar as my hub walked in with his parents and me with mine. We then danced the night away to an iPod in the pouring rain on the back deck.

On the Irish side, we rented out a boutique hotel in the country, a shabby chic Georgian stately home.  We had a small marquee on the front lawn, and my Uncle Mike, a minister, performed the blessing under a giant willow tree on the property. The music was a small bluegrass band, whom I'd found busking on the streets of Dublin. I wore a dress by Maria Lluisa Rabell, this Spanish designer who only uses unbleached natural fabrics (bought it at a trunk sale and had it altered). Our guests danced the night away to an 80's cover band, and then our friend DJ'ed into the wee hours.

This is all to say, thanks to you and those who commented, it was nice to have some moral support.  And while my Irish wedding was more "weddingy" than my Michigan one, I really preferred the civil ceremony, and in my heart it was my "real" wedding.

Love,
Midwestern Girl

p.s. The first set of photos (the backyard bbq) are by a family friend called Hugh Plummer. Second set (the Irish country celebration): my amazing friend and professional photographer Karina Finegan. 

*****

SO. GREAT.

♥