But if he's planning to wear a tux

You must read Mad Men costume designer Janie Bryant's thoughts on formal wear. Right now.

You might also enjoy reading what she has to say about the different (male) Mad Men characters and the contemporary menswear designers she favors.

Then please come back to give me your thoughts on guys with pinky rings.

(John Hamm and January Jones courtesy of AMC)

F* the $10,000 wedding. Have a picnic.

One of my favorite wedding bloggers is sick to death of the phrase "budget wedding." The words have lost their meaning. (I mean, how could my budget be the same as your budget?) It's just a lazy way for the mainstream media to categorize non-traditional and/or DIY weddings. And then turn around and try to sell you stuff.*

At the same time, some couples are counting every dollar and cent. Jessica (aka Budget Savvy Bride), who is aiming for a $10,000 wedding, is 10 weeks away from the big day, and the venue that told her she could bring her own wine now wants to charge $40/bottle. She hasn't signed a contract and she's afraid she might have to postpone the whole thing.

Meg told Jessica, "It's a wedding, not the event of a lifetime. You want to get married right? That's going to make you happy, right? So look around. Maybe you can have a wee adorable wedding in a friend's home, or a family house. Maybe a park. Maybe a courthouse with a sassy pencil skirt, heels, and a fabulous facinator..."

That's the best advice I've heard all year. Would you also tell these two, who are asking for donations to throw their $10,000 wedding?

*From hippie to Marxist in just five days. My Wesleyan is showing.

(Photo courtesy of The Daily Planet)

F* twitter

I deleted my esb account. All that tweeting about twittering was just too effing exhausting.*

And as soon as I started worrying about whether my tweets were attracting followers or directing traffic to the blog it stopped being any fun.

This is all supposed to be fun.... Right?

*Note to self: Stop blogging about blogging.

wide legs are really here, people

And pleats. I'm not sure how I feel about pleats.*

But this putty pair by Duskin (also available in sand and black) almost has me convinced. They're slammin in a slouchy, I-don't-give-a-f*ck way that I truly appreciate.

It requires a lot of effort to dress like you don't give a fuck.**

Soon to be for sale at Steven Alan.

*They give me nightmarish flashbacks to the first "real job" I had working for an nyc press agent in 1996. I did learn to write a decent press release. And I got to meet the amazing, chain smoking Uta Hagen (and her toy poodle, GB). But I also spent a lot of time walking my boss's mentally imbalanced mutt. And after I quit I found out he was in litigation for throwing a stapler at a former employee.

**Unless you are Patti Smith. She's not faking it.

will I rot in hell for posting this?

He looks so happy.... Doesn't he?

And I f*cking love that he got married in a flannel shirt.

Photo from Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's February 24, 1992 wedding on Waikiki Beach found here.

happy birthday Kurt

(February 20, 1967 – c. April 5, 1994)

Image from Either The Drapes Go Or I Do

doc martens are so. back.

Okay, #3 is not wearing Docs. But he should be. (He reminds me of the boy I had a deep, deep crush on my junior year in high school.)

These photos were snapped by The Sartorialist in Paris, Florence and Stockholm. Now take a look over here.

If I were proposing to my boyfriend (again)*

I'd do it with this gold id bracelet from laura lobdell (filed under "five easy pieces").

The silver guitar pick is pretty rad too. But promise you won't give it to him unless he knows his way around a guitar.

Wait.... Now I'm confused. Would it be cooler if he's never been anywhere near a guitar? You tell me.

*Not that I would want to go back and change the messy, spontaneous way it happened.

or there's this one

How did she capture a natural smile on everybody?

From May Wedding Photography again.*

*None of these ladies are sponsoring me, I swear. I just think they're cool.

wedding photos don't have to look like wedding photos

See what I'm saying? They can be awesome in their own right.

Like this one by Brooklyn-based Corrine Botz of May Wedding Photography.

Didi already featured Tim and Lisa's wedding on little winter bride, but it bears repeating.

just when I'm sick to death of the bicycle wedding photo

Heather of One Love Photo hits me with this.

I love how simple the image is.

The bikes are just there (it's downtown Olympia, people ride bikes). Dustin and Jamie aren't hamming it up all over the place. They don't even seem aware of the camera.

Boom.

Am I turning into a hippie?

I was standing in the bulk aisle of Whole Foods the other day when I decided I needed to make my own granola.

Let me explain.

I just figured out foods that are very high/extremely high in salicylates give me hives.* Raspberries, strawberries and green peppers seem to be the worst. And I will never touch fresh tarragon again.

But suddenly I'm wary of everything on the list. (Poor H-town is so frustrated. He doesn't know what he's allowed to cook.) Every effing granola in the bins at WF contained almonds or dried raspberries or dried cranberries or almonds.**

So here's what I bought:

1. Raw oats
2. Whole, raw cashews
3. Pumpkin seeds
4. Banana chips

Anyone have a recipe I could modify? Of course honey is also on the extremely high list. Can you even make granola without honey? Would it be sacrilegious to use good old fashioned sugar?

*This I need on top of a wheat sensitivity, right?

**Yes, I was consulting the list on my iPhone in the middle of the Hollywood Whole Foods (which has wifi, b/t/w). I was having a grupster moment.***

***Phew. I'm not a hippie.

(Image courtesy of my whimsy)

the next thing in bridal headgear

LITTER, made by two sisters in San Francisco from reclaimed + recycled materials. (Including watch straps, mink tails, keys, and even car parts, according to Daily Candy.)

Also check out the blog, but BEWARE: beautiful people.

I can't wait for the shoe jewelery.

Thanks for keeping me on trend, lady.

speaking of airstreams

Check out this silver baby Sarah and her lady D plan to get dressed in on their wedding day.

I think they're doing it here. I hope?

Because the only thing better than a rustic campground is a rustic campground with an Airstream Trailer.

F* valentine's day

What I really wish is that we were heading off on the next leg of our honeymoon road trip.*

*I cried on the last night of our honeymoon. I didn't want it to be over. H-town told me that the honeymoon will never be over. We just have to make a few long stopovers here and there, y'know, to work and go to school and stuff.

(kparrish via Double Takes via Bliss)

Dear at&t, your service sucks.

Now I remember why I was so reluctant to ditch verizon wireless.

Blogged from my iPhone

the joy of....

Inspired by this book review, I bought an old copy of The Joy of Sex on ebay to give H-town for Valentine's Day.*

Purely as an anthropological artifact you understand.

*I really wanted a first edition, but what I got was "Completely Revised and Updated for the 1980's." She: still shag haircut + gogo boots. He: still bearded neanderthal. Looks pretty seventies to me.

ART: TOM WESSELMANN, “BEDROOM PAINTING NO. 6” (1968)/ESTATE OF TOM WESSELMANN/Courtesy of The New Yorker

I'm still a feminist!

From my new favorite blog, PONY&ZUCKER

Here's how pony pamplemousse and frl.sucker describe themselves:

we like drinking tea and having breakfast together, and feminism and watching gossip girl and zines and listening to cocorosie. this is our online diary, because the private is political.

Um, awesome.

Via Design for Mankind

here's the truth

A few days ago I was stressed out about our finances and feeling self-indulgent for focusing on my own projects without bringing in any (immediate) income.

H-town told me v. calmly that money will always be an issue. No matter how much we have. (See: You Try to Live on 500K in This Town) And he assured me that I'm putting my energy in the right place. Going out and getting a $10/hr job is not the right thing to do.*

It's intense, being married. I was such a rabidly feminist little girl, I never imagined having a husband, let alone being supported by one.

But I'm learning. And in a few years, I'll take a turn being the wage earner so H-town can stay home and be creative. I know he won't have a problem with that.

(Thank you Alice, for the reminder, and Allen Salkin, for putting things in perspective.)

*I could, however, do the dishes more often. Says me, not him.

heart of light = a diy valentine fiend

The garlands. These are made from recycled science journals, people.

The cookies. The valentines she sewed for her family. Again with the recycled journals. I am a sucker for recycled.

The diy notebook/organizer. (This has nothing to do with valentine's day. It's just awesome.)

I think it's very cool that Rachel is a creative scientist.* Is the left brain/right brain thing all a hoax?

*My stepmom was the same way. Brilliant in the lab, and then knocking herself out to do lino-cuts and make everyone marzipan for Christmas presents.

(All images courtesy of Heart of Light)

p.s. what's your dad wearing to your wedding?

Paul Jasmin looks pretty slammin in Band of Outsiders.

Via all plaidout, of course, who points out that several young designers have started using older men for their look books.

p.s. My dad wore a white Mexican blouse thing. But he's a 6'2" sculptor. He pulled it off.

oh yeah

Not only has Max Wastler got style, he's got a blog called all plaidout. I'm gonna be all over that sh*t for groom style.

Do you think Max wears a little something plaid every day, y'know, just in case Porter Hovey happens to be around with her polaroid?

I might need a vintage Datsun

I love my old Volvo* stationwagon, don't get me wrong. I love her.

But Christine just posted this photo of herself and her dad with his Datsun and I'm kind of freaking out.

Now I need to get my hands on a picture of my dad with his Peugeot.**

*I know, I know. Old Volvo + Echo Park = total cliche.

**Or my dad under his Peugeot. I think he spent more time working on the car than he did driving it. Men.

I think you might need this for your wedding portraits

So on trend. But taking it to the bridal level, you know what I'm saying?

Via pretty. little. world.

of course Leanne M. is a blogger

Who posts cute photos of someone else's cat. She and I are gonna be such great blog friends.

But Leanne, I'm not seeing a lot of petals and waves on petalsandwaves.

Maybe you renamed the blog "Leanne M." because you were feeling stifled. I get it. I mean, you don't want to get stuck making the same collection season after season.

But where are the effing wedding dresses?? Just saying.

Amanda, thanks for the heads up. You Portland girls are so insy.

on the other hand....

These amazing pieces by Barbara Munsel are handmade from organic and vintage textiles. And there is nothing hippie about them.

You just have to figure out how to order from the Netherlands.

Via Bliss by way of periwinklebloom

an open letter to Leanne Marshall

Dear Leanne (imal),

Watcha been up to since you won Project Runway?

No pressure, but I really hope you're working on a line of organic cotton wedding dresses. For some reason, most of the eco-conscious custom gowns currently available are a) nouveau hippie or b) Ren-Faire hippie.*

There is a serious dearth of wedding dresses that are truly both eco and chic. Will you be the one to step up? (I mean, hello.)

The "hippies" aren't the only ones who want to go green.

Love,
ESB

*Real hippies don't get married. They don't need some piece of paper from the man.

rats, you worked hard all year.

You deserve a break.

Plus I think I'm developing a crush on porcupines.*

Woodland Creatures Letterpress Valentines by delphine STUDIO. Via What Possessed Me

*It's a passing thing, I swear. You will always have my heart.

Balloon, Birthday

For Amanda.

(Stencil by Banksy. Photo by Over The Counter Culture.)

baby ambivalence

I'm on the fence about having a baby. Or, rather, I'm looking over the fence. Thinking smugly, "I'm so glad I don't want a baby."

But every so often I have a moment of doubt.*

Like when the rad eight-month-old Mr. S and I are dancing to a Tom Petty Pandora station and he makes a little humming noise to indicate that he appreciates a mean guitar riff. Or when Jamie admits to having a thrifted baby clothes collection tucked away in her shed (hello tiny Wrangler).**

And I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

But mostly I think about all the ways I love my life with H-town. And all the things we want to do as two.

Yikes, did I really just write a baby ambivalence post? Welcome to esb year #2.

*Mom, please do not get excited. If you ask me about this post, I will deny I ever wrote it. I'm serious.

**We had a whole corresp w/ Peonies about whether it was tempting fate and/or just plain creepy to buy baby clothes before you have a baby. But I have determined that Jamie is behaving sensibly. I mean, could you pass up a size 12mo vintage western shirt? For 99 cents? And her best friend gets the collection if she doesn't have a baby for whatever reason.

(Image of the shirt snapped for me by Jamie)

and if you're planning to propose on valentine's day....

I think this yellow gold heart by Beth Coiner (available at auto) would make a slammin engagement ring.

Diamonds are so over.

for your bohemian valentine

This necklace by I. Ronni Kappos is made with vintage glass "from the famed, but long defunct, German glassworks in the Sudentenland region of Bohemia."

I want it. I really really want it. But a homemade Valentine will be even better.

Right?

Online at the ever-awesome auto

Yeah Drea

Meg knew I was gonna love this wedding.

Drea is a metallurgist. (I know, what is a metallurgist, right?) She got married in a Chicago bake shop. And her new husband, Josh, a print/web designer, did the wedding invites + website. Of course.

But my here's my favorite part.

Drea told Meg: The two things that did the most to keep our budget low also kept us sane, and they were actually the most organic things about the wedding. We had a small wedding, 47 guests, but that was born less from a desire to be thrifty than from a desire to only be surrounded by people we know and love on our wedding day. We didn’t want to spend the whole night making polite small talk when we could be dancing.

That's the way I describe our wedding to people. It was tough, but we kept the invite list small. (Plus, we had a "destination" wedding on the remote island in BC where my dad lives, which kinda separated the wheat from the chaff.) We ended up with 50 of our closest friends and family. So perfect.

We laughed. We cried. We danced into the wee hours. Many of us drank whiskey out of mason jars. But there was no small talk.*

*Man do I hate small talk. And being polite is not my strong suit. I don't know if you've noticed.

(Photo by Michele Wayman)

cushion stuffing

pixigolightly (approx 3h ago)
At what point exactly was my brain removed and replaced with cushion stuffing? Tell me, please.

desertfete (approx 3h ago)
@pixiegolightly when you started blogging. Exactly.

me (approx 1min ago)
Eff.

another dj wedding

What is it with djs? They can't leave the rest of us with the illusion that we're cool?

Photos by Kate Webber. See more of Abigail & Eli's nyc wedding (including flowers by the rad Saipua) on The Bride's Cafe here and here.

I assume you've seen the portland dj wedding.

happy blog birthday to me

I can't believe I've been uploading my curious flittery thoughts for a whole year now, and you, my cool-as-hell glittery readers, actually read them.

I love you guys.

(Image courtesy of The cherry blossom girl via Marvelous Kiddo)

finding love in the everyday

Go directly to yesterday's Words To Read When You Wed on A Practical Wedding.

And not just because Meg and Amanda gave me a shout-out.

Title and image courtesy of scissors paper glue

please allow me to clarify

When I said "mini-cleanse," what I meant was, "I should stay away from bourbon for a few days." Um, and burritos.*

I would never give up food. And I don't even know how to work our juicer.**

*I was in San Francisco for the weekend. Wheat is a migraine trigger for me, and you can't make a burrito without a big flour tortilla. But it's impossible for me to leave SF without eating at least one. This time I had two.

**Basically, I'm the husband in the marriage. I act all bumbling in the kitchen so that H-town is forced to wait on me. Every once in a while I slip up and prepare a meal and he remembers I know how to cook, but usually it works like a charm.

(Image courtesy of jerryriddle)

bunny ears? who comes up with this stuff??

I know I said I'd try to stop spotting the next thing.* But this has me alarmed.

I do, however, appreciate the how-to from T Magazine for achieving the look: While hair is still wet, jump into bed with Johnny Depp and roll around until hair dries. Do not comb. Mist lightly with hair spray, and wipe that smile off your face.

Sounds like a beauty regime I can handle.

More bunny ears (with tousled hair) here.

*Or are bunny ears and black masks all part of the same carnival/Eyes Wide Shut/fetish thing? Hello, Gossip Girl, on trend as usual.

Where the f*ck do I get wedding musicians?

Jen emailed me with this question:

I am living in the UK with my husband to be. We are already legally married, they wouldn't let me move to the UK if we didn't get hitched (he is a Brit). We are having the wedding outside here this coming summer. I cannot figure out wedding music. There is no electricity outside and since you can't legally get married outside in the UK (I know, the English are sometimes bizarre) the venue people aren't much help, this is there first outdoor wedding ever. Because he and I are already legal we are sidestepping this whole outside rule.

So I looked into booking a string quartet, WAY out of the budget. Also looked into the local universities for musicians, but as the wedding is in the summer they aren't sure if they could find students who could commit. Also, not even sure if I am thrilled by a string quartet. But I know I can't walk down the aisle in silence, it would be sad.

Suggestions?

I agree, it would be sad to walk down the aisle with no music. But maybe you're setting the bar too high.

At our wedding, H-town's 13-year-old niece warmed up the crowd with Dvorak on the flute. Then two of our good friends did an unplugged version of a Pixies song for the "processional."

It doesn't matter if the musicians are professionals. It doesn't even matter what instruments they play. It was the most amazing feeling to walk down the aisle with my friends singing my favorite song to me. (I am srsly tearing up right now just thinking about it.)

Does anyone else have advice? Please weigh in.

(Image courtesy of Olivia Bee)

What? It's ground hog day??

I feel like this guy is kind of rubbing it in about all the sh*t I ate (and drank) this weekend.

Point taken. Time for another mini-cleanse.

p.s. I was a little disappointed with Fuck You, Penguin today. I'm not gonna lie.

(Image courtesy of deerluvr)

witty wedding flats

.v's lust-worthy new Lanvins are making me think about pretty ballet flats again.

This pair is not cheap. But wouldn't they look fabulous peeking out from under a wedding dress?

And as Elizabeth Dye says, "If your shoes are perfect, you can wear a burlap sack. Put your dollars on your feet."

Lanvin flower ballet flat and many more at net-a-porter.com

an open letter to Bensimon

To the lovely, stylish people of Bensimon,

I effing love your shoes.

And I don't know if you've noticed, but a google search of "bensimon sneakers" brings up this east side bride post as the second hit. The Bensimon Girls don't even make it onto the first page.

So I think you should hire me to be your spokesperson. And/or send me free product for review.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Sincerely,
Nomi Nickel

I may have inadvertantly channeled white lightening here. Whatevers.