Monday, December 12, 2011
I don't even know how to title this one
Long time reader. First time writer. In the middle of my engagement my parents' thirty year marriage has for lack of a better word has exploded like a Sponge bob pinata at a birthday party.
The day I was wedding dress shopping with my mother, my father was on vacation in the Caribbean with his mistress of twelve years. Understandably, my mother was upset but decided for my sake that she would not divorce my father until after a wedding which is next May. I told her I would go with her to the courthouse
My father knows this. He continues to see his mistress (whose name and address I known since I was fourteen) every weekend since his vacation this summer. We know he's with her because he makes a show of it and disappears for days upon end. He's doing all this because he knows my mother wants everything to be perfect for the wedding.
My mother is miserable and hurt. She continues to stay with my father out of concern that he will do one or all of the following if she files for divorce from him before the wedding:
1. he will refuse to pay for my wedding out of anger at her which he offered to do from the beginning. I never asked but he has been insistent since he missed out on a large chunk of my childhood he wants to make it up to me.
2. he will bring his mistress to the wedding and flaunt her in front of my mother (my brother has threatened to kick his ass if he does this) Personally if he wants to do this nonsense, he can go to someone else's wedding not ours
3. he will be a complete dick at the wedding and ruin everything.
Today my mother was in tears about the way my father is treating her. She doesn't know if she can make it until May and is upset that my special day will be ruined. My mother can not pay for the wedding by herself (she busted her butt putting both my brother and I through college and continues to support the household without any help from my father).
I want my mother to be happy and not have to deal with this nonsense. She wants me to have a nice family wedding and not have to deal with any of this family stuff.
My fiance and I have been considering getting married at City Hall so that all the family tension will be over.
What should we do? I need your wisdom
First of all, REALLY? IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION??
2. You do realize it takes more than a trip to the courthouse to get a divorce? Right now I'm much more concerned about your mom than your stupid wedding.
Patricia Van Der Vliet By Ellen Von Unwerth For Grey Magazine