A friend of mine is marrying a really awful person. He's mentally abusive/controlling, uses my friend, and is possibly (probably) marrying her for her money. Joke's on him since her mother changed her will now that he is in the picture. But I digress! He's kind of turned my friend into this weirdo I don't recognise who now hates her mother b/c he's brainwashed her into thinking her mom's a bad person, which she really isn't. He gets angry on the rare occasion she talks with her mother, follows her movements, all kinds of stuff that she says she's okay with (it's b/c he loves her!). Basically she's marrying her father/mom's asshole ex-husband (don't get me started on him).
I've known this girl since she was born, her mother is like a second mother to me, she is one of the only people outside my family who I can trust (and it's probably due to the fact she -is- like family to me!). Granted, she is rather conservative, and the girl rebelled quite a bit at university, but I didn't think she'd end up hating her mother like this. It's to the point where she has /no/ friends, doesn't speak to family, and this all started during her 2nd year of university when she met this knob-head. He's the only guy she's ever dated/been with, etc, I feel like he preyed on her because of that, like she was an easy target. I mean, 3 months into dating him we went out while she was in town and she said she can't tell him we're going out because he needs to be with her when she does. She accidentally answered her mobile and he chewed her out to the point where she stopped having fun and wanted to leave.
I've tried talking sense into my friend, but she's stuck on the idea that her mother is the problem and whatnot. She thinks she's all kinds of mature and ~worldly because she's 25, and a woman, but I've never met a more naive person in my life. She's smart and independent!!! :||||
Now they're engaged, and well, that's it for the most part. Her mother doesn't plan on attending the wedding because he is just that bad. My mother (who is the only person she trusts) tells her she's going to regret it, I tell her the same thing, but she refuses to go, and I know her, she will not go. It always feels so hopeless. I just look at divorce rates and pray to the almighty to make it happen, or make something happen before it's too late.
My question for you and your readers is: how many have been in the situation where your parent(s) didn't attend your wedding because of your choice of spouse (or anything, for that matter)? How is your relationship now, has it changed at all? I only wonder because I don't want my friend's mother to make a decision that will change everything forever with her daughter for good. I guess I'm kind of hoping that there's actually hope for their relationship in the future.
Any words of wisdom? Bittersweet experiences at all?
Not Naive Friend.
Throwing this one out to you guys....
Photo by Ilva Heitmann by Markus Pritzi for Sleek Magazine via Fashion Gone Rogue