Monday, December 19, 2011
Do I have to invite the pill-popper??
I have a guest list dilemma.
My late father's second wife and widow--I guess she's technically my ex-stepmother--is a problem. Frankly, she's an alcohol-abusing, pill-addled, semi-incoherent train wreck who has behaved outrageously and dressed provocatively at family events in the past, including funerals. I hate to make light of what is actually a sad situation, but I'm extremely uncomfortable around her and always have been. My stepfather (he raised me, and he's paying) is quite proper, as is my fiance's family. My dad's relatives can't stand her. My fiance hasn't met her. I don't live in the city where I grew up, and I avoid her when I'm in town.
But, they had a son together, my (half) brother, who is now in his late teens and living at home with her. My dad's sister actually tried to get custody of him when our dad died because of this woman's craziness. Though I'm way older and we didn't grow up together, we keep in touch and have a friendly relationship, he's a sweet kid, and of course I want him to be there. He's the only reason I've had to interact with her. But I've never told him I have a problem with his mom. They both know I'm engaged. And the wedding's going to be in my hometown. But he has a car, a cell phone, and his own life.
Is there any way I can somehow not invite her? If I have to, what do I do with her?
-Out of step
Here's how you don't invite your stepmonster: Don't send her an invitation.
Send one to your brother, then call him and explain all of the above. (I suspect none of it will come as a shock.)
Photo by Aram Bedrossian for Lovecat via Charles Hall via Fashionising