My man and I are having a wedding in July. We are a dual-income couple. Signing a marriage license would literally cost us thousands of dollars each year (income tax + student loan repayment assistance I receive, I won't bore you further). So we're not doing it. We want to be husband and wife in every way except on paper with NYC and the IRS.
Cue my father. I rarely talk to him because he is an asshole. Two weeks ago he told me that his side of the family considers our upcoming wedding to be a meaningless "costume party" because we will not sign this piece of paper. (He's not making it up, it's clear that at least my grandmother feels this way.) He gave me a long speech about commitment. (He left my mother a few years ago to date younger women.) My guy and I have already been together for six years, moved across the country together, bought a home together, planned career paths around one another, mingled finances, &c. "Commitment" is not an issue for us.
I know my dad is just a dick, but he got under my skin. I've asked a few friends if he's right and everyone says he's not, but I'm afraid that no one will say the truth to my face. I'd like an honest opinion from a total stranger:
1. Is it stupid to have a wedding if we don't sign a marriage license?
2. If they feel this way, should I (gently) tell my dad and grandmother they are not obligated to show? (Not a bluff, I would be partially relieved if they took me up on it.)
Thanks. And thanks for writing an actually useful wedding blog.
1. Not stupid AT ALL. Get the damn license when/if it makes financial sense, not before.
Jose Molenaar by Richard Bakker via Fashion Gone Rogue